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Selfish neighbor vent...

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  • #21
    Originally posted by Unfforgettable View Post
    How on earth is that a selfish neighbor?
    My guess is that the selfish part comes in because the neighbors would not spend their monies on this cat but they spend their monies on things that make them look extra wonderful to outsiders.


    OP is missing that doing the right thing should be enough. No reason for outsiders to pat you on the back and tell you how great you are, for doing the right thing.

    Comment


    • #22
      You are easily wowed.

      Comment


      • #23
        I guess I just don't get it. Nobody has the right to tell someone else 1) that they are responsible for a stray cat, 2) how or what to spend their money on. If my budget includes feeding and caring for three barn cats that already belong to me, I'm not obligated to spend funds designated for, let's say, a fancy new farm sign, on a stray cat that someone else decided I should take on.

        I'm very glad I have great neighbors who would never in a millon years do anything so ridiculous.
        "Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them."
        -Richard S. Bach

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        • #24
          Right there with you, Unforgettable.
          "Aye God, Woodrow..."

          Comment


          • #25
            See, I was on the flip side last year....

            I had a neighbor come over last fall and tell me that I should spay my barn cats. I had just moved in to a previously vacant farm with two dogs and horses. No cats. I have yet to see these elusive kitties that my neighbor thinks I should be responsible for, though I did see cat evidence in my hay loft... I then re-sided my barn to prevent unwanted kitties from taking up residence in my hayloft (and keep out preteens who evidently used to party up there).

            They aren't my cats. I am not going to trap/spay/neuter/rehome them. I will spend that money to fix up my 100+ year old barn to get it horse ready, so maybe that gave my neighbors the impression that I have money to throw at feral cats... Who knows?


            OP, good for you for neutering the tom. Congrats on your new cat and doing the 'right' thing to keep your cats safe and happy.

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by redalter View Post
              Sigh. I guess that was it. They told us originally they had a new cat hanging around. Sleeping in thier barn. They described this cat. Then it became a stray when it had to be spayed.
              Just because it's hanging around doesn't mean it's theirs. We get drop-ins at my parents' barn all the time. One was so disruptive they dropped him at the county shelter--not mean, just completely disruptive of the, pecking order. (And county shelters don't usually have a choice, btw--they may charge you to surrender it, but if it's a stray, leave it. That's what they get a county budget to deal with.) They actively try to discourage ones that don't tame from hanging around. "A new cat hanging around" doesn't mean it's theirs, it's just living in the barn.

              Frankly, YOU were the obnoxioius neighbor for marching over and demanding they do anything at all with it. If it's not your cat, the most you have any right to do is suggest they try and keep if off your porperty. And it's clearly yours now.
              Author Page
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              • #27
                Well I think it was great of OP to have cat "fixed."

                Unfortunately in this world of too many cats, if you feed one, it's yours. I've ended up with other people's cats because I fed the cats and then paid for shots and spaying/altering and then kitties ended up in my house as housecats.

                OP, don't worry about the neighbors. They can flaunt it but most people know if people are real or fake. I once asked my father why a friend's father could afford an airplane. The guy worked for someone my father did business with. Turns out my friend's father was embezzling money from the company. So plane and expensive lifestyle ended. Karma.

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by kasjordan View Post
                  we have this cat that's been around, etc. , etc - and described this cat.

                  They didn't say it was their cat really......I have this bear that's been around my place....he ain't MY bear ;-)
                  Times when I wish we had a "like" button
                  "A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character." - Tesio

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                  • #29
                    I have this kid's been hanging around my place. Kid about 11 - I mentioned it to my neighbors, then he dissapeared. My neighbor comes over and says he's been over at their house and I had to bring him to DCF services when he wandered over to their place the other day. I said, no, he's not my kid, I'm not taking him. Now the neighbor is mad at me because she had to call DCF but DCF wouldn't take him, so she had him neutered and kept him. She's mad because she thinks he was mine.
                    Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

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                    • #30
                      Originally posted by AnotherRound View Post
                      I have this kid's been hanging around my place. Kid about 11 - I mentioned it to my neighbors, then he dissapeared. My neighbor comes over and says he's been over at their house and I had to bring him to DCF services when he wandered over to their place the other day. I said, no, he's not my kid, I'm not taking him. Now the neighbor is mad at me because she had to call DCF but DCF wouldn't take him, so she had him neutered and kept him. She's mad because she thinks he was mine.
                      But he looks just like you!!!
                      "Aye God, Woodrow..."

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by redalter View Post
                        Sigh. I guess that was it. They told us originally they had a new cat hanging around. Sleeping in thier barn. They described this cat. Then it became a stray when it had to be spayed.

                        One of them even suggested I take it far away and dump it.

                        Nice.

                        I guess I am just tired of it. They try to take advantage and are obnoxious in other ways, this was just the last straw, and now they are parading around with the charity thing and it is making me sick.


                        The funny thing is, LOTS of people warned me about them, and the stuff they've done to other people, I guess it's just my turn. Lucky me.
                        So as I understand your words it was a new cat hanging, sleeping in their barn does not mean it is there cat. That is why they call them strays.

                        I wouldn't take responsibility for it either and it was more important to you to get it fixed then them. You have nothing to complain about in this case.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Donkerbruin View Post
                          Times when I wish we had a "like" button
                          I vote for "like" buttons too

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Originally posted by amm2cd View Post
                            See, I was on the flip side last year....

                            I had a neighbor come over last fall and tell me that I should spay my barn cats. I had just moved in to a previously vacant farm with two dogs and horses. No cats. I have yet to see these elusive kitties that my neighbor thinks I should be responsible for, though I did see cat evidence in my hay loft... I then re-sided my barn to prevent unwanted kitties from taking up residence in my hayloft (and keep out preteens who evidently used to party up there).

                            They aren't my cats. I am not going to trap/spay/neuter/rehome them. I will spend that money to fix up my 100+ year old barn to get it horse ready, so maybe that gave my neighbors the impression that I have money to throw at feral cats... Who knows?


                            OP, good for you for neutering the tom. Congrats on your new cat and doing the 'right' thing to keep your cats safe and happy.

                            This statement will probably not make me very popular but I've been trapping my neighbors cats for the last month. I live in an area of 1.5acre properties & my neighbor who I share a fence line with has about 20 unsterilized outside cats. I was tired of my house,barn,car smelling like cat piss. I'd wake up in the morning to cat fights on my back deck on a regular basis. It was too much. I've caught 9 so far and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              years ago, new neighbors moved in. Their oldest adult son, the heroin addict, brought home a cat. My mother told them to spay it. They didn't. Cat had 2 kittens. Mother told them to spay/alter. They didn't.

                              At 20 cats, I came down from Atlanta, called our vet and got a discount deal. I took all the cats to him and had them fixed. Neighbor's father was shamed by others and reimbursed me. I took every one of those cats from them. And when the "middle son" the alcoholic wanted a kitten for his daughter, I went to humane society and got a nice kitty off of death row and had her spayed and gave the kid that cat. (And this family is high society)

                              Sometimes you just have to take action yourself. When AC in Atlanta seized the 20 siamese cats belonging to a black vietnam veteran who was living in his station wagen with the cats, I called my atlanta vet and brokered another discount. Then I called the TV stations, got the cats (altho animal control called my boss complaining) and had all spayed and altered. Briarcliff did it all free even though I offered to pay. (And I made sure I was not on tv, so my vets got all the good press.) ETA the guy got to keep 10 of his kitties and 10 were adopted by rescue cat ladies who used same vet.

                              There should be free and mandatory spay/alter services by county and states. It is a lot easier and cheaper to prevent pregnancies than to handle and kill animals after they are born. (Hmm someone should mention this to republican candidates about humans as well since they don't want to pay for health care or food for the poor.)
                              Last edited by cloudyandcallie; Feb. 21, 2012, 07:26 PM.

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                              • #35
                                Yes, and then you have people like the ones who lived behind me in the suburbs in the previous town I lived in. They did minimal care for the little Westie dog, and had cats that they acknowledged were their animals. The cat had two litters a year, and the second you saw the half grown kittens running around you knew what would happen. Out of all of her litters only two boys survived. The mom cat hunted for her food, and never saw the inside of the house. The people bragged to the new neighbors that they never spent a dime at the vet on the cats, and only got rabies shots for the dog when animal control dropped by to remind them. The new neighbors were horrified about what the people said about no vet care, and the first time I saw the new homeowner he was redoing the screened porch in good, metal screening, with one layer on the inside, and one on the outside so his cats wouldn't touch the neglected ones from next door. The mom cat eventually disappeared, and someone took the two boys, had them neutered, and took them with them when they moved. There are people who get animals and don't take care of them, and unfortunately the neighbors and animals suffer.
                                You can't fix stupid-Ron White

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by katarine View Post
                                  You are easily wowed.
                                  Saying things to intentionally annoy someone...
                                  .
                                  .
                                  .
                                  .
                                  What is that called again?



                                  OP, glad you did the right thing. Its unfortunate that the world isn't a fair place. Some people want the title without actually holding the position. It's definitely frustrating, and sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest.

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    Crabbypants.
                                    Heifer.
                                    Jerk.

                                    Will that do, or do you need more? And I'm not alone, dear: There's a lotta folks on this thread agreeing the OP is just...wow.

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      I'm actually with the OP on this.

                                      How many times have COTHers come on here and complained about animals being dumped on their property, because now "I am responsible for it." I'll answer for you: a lot, often, with regularity. When you own property, it's a given that shirkers and others who think the word responsibility does not apply to them are going to expect you to take up the slack that they create.

                                      How many COTHers have taken animals they did not purchase/adopt/otherwise agree to take on, and had them spayed/neutered and vaccinated? Again, allow me to answer: several, many, probably all property owners who have had animals dumped on them in this manner. Why? Well, because we are animal lovers at heart, and we expect other animal lovers and property owners to do their part in this little scenario of the great How Things Work (or perhaps, How We Wish It Didn't Work, But Does Anyways Because Someone Has To Be Responsible).

                                      And when the people who occupy this character set of the play flub their lines and don't act their part...well, it disrupts the whole dang program. Other actors get ticked and perhaps throw down their own book of lines in disgust. Maybe even march off stage announcing they will be back after the crappy actor has been evicted from the play or agrees to play their part accurately.

                                      All because of the expectation that people have that someone else will take care of the animal(s) they do not want (read: rich horse folk (insert off-stage laughter)), and the completely separate expectation that property owners of our ilk have of other property owners of our ilk (read: horse people, because we all know that we take on animals that aren't our own and Do The Right Thing (cue: the Sighs of the Great Put-Upon)).

                                      The neighbors mentioned the cat, described the cat, and said it was now chilling at their barn. This, in our world, makes it their responsibility if not their actual cat. But when said cat broadened its range to the OP's, and the OP wanted The Right Thing done, the neighbors now claim no knowledge of the cat. Which disrupted the play, and now the OP has to Do The Right Thing on her dime, because the neighbor passed the buck, while the neighbor spread dough in other directions.

                                      And yes, I had fun mixing metaphors.
                                      COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                      "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Good post, Jenners.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          I have a feral cat that hangs out at my barn on occasion. I don't feed it, don't pet it, only occasionally even see it. I don't consider it my cat. I also see it at the canal across the street, over at my neighbor's house, etc. I don't think it belongs to the water district or to my neighbors. Do I feel in any way responsible for it? No, I don't.

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