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You're So Vain, Part II

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  • #41
    I think some Eagles songs are prime candidates for rewrites. Maybe 'Desperado' and 'Lyin' Eyes'. Any takers?
    'Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.'
    - Pablo Picasso

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #42
      offcourse - I'll stick to songwriting - my talents are extremely offensive to the ears even in the shower [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
      Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

      Comment


      • #43
        Sung to the tune of the Beach Boys' I Get Around

        I Jump Around

        Round round jump around
        I jump around
        Yeah
        Jump around round round I jump around
        I jump around
        Jump around round round I jump around
        From town to town
        Jump around round round I jump around
        I'm a real hot head
        Jump around round round I jump around
        'Cause I'm a Thoroughbred

        I'm gettin' bugged trotting up and down the same old ring
        I gotta finda new show where I can do my thing

        My rider and me are getting real well known
        Yeah, the warmbloods know us and they leave us alone

        I jump around
        Jump around round round I jump around
        From town to town
        Jump around round round I jump around
        I always get my spot
        Jump around round round I jump around
        I do what I been taught

        Jump around round round I jump around
        I jump around
        Round
        Jump around round round oooo
        Wah wa ooo
        Wah wa ooo
        Wah wa ooo

        We always take the blue cause I've never been beat
        And I've never missed yet when I get my treats

        All of the rounds are steady cause it wouldn't be right
        To leave a stride out when in the judge's sight

        I jump around
        Jump around round round I jump around
        From town to town
        Jump around round round I jump around
        I do a perfect eight
        Jump around round round I jump around
        'Cause I have learned to wait

        Jump around round round I jump around
        I jump around
        Round
        Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
        Round round jump around
        I jump around
        Yeah
        Jump around round round I jump around
        Jump around round round I jump around
        Wah wa ooo....
        "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

        Comment


        • #44
          I am very impressed....and inspired too:

          Here's one for all of the Horse Show Mom's (to Carole King's "Tapestry")

          ( Hope it's not too corny for ya'll! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] )

          My life has been a tapestry of driving to and from
          The barn, the shows, the tack shop
          It's a never changing view
          A wondrous world I've learned of
          With bits and boots and gloves
          A tapestry where girls reign free
          Their horses are their love

          Once amid the dark, dusty aisles of the barn
          There came another new horse, and this one, it was for sale
          She had no ribbons to her name
          And she needed work to start
          But her face was sweet, her soul was good,
          And she won my daughter's heart

          I moved with some uncertainty as if I didn't know
          Whether we should buy her
          Or should we let her go
          Finally, the answer came, the horse we had to buy
          And my child was so happy

          Soon within my tapestry along the horse show trail
          I sat and watched my "girls" go round
          Trying even if they fail
          A missed lead change, a spooky trip,
          Make it hard to be top gun
          But they are a team, they work real hard
          And they have a lot of fun

          As I watch them at the barn, it's suddenly all clear
          The ribbons never mattered, it's the bond that is so dear
          A love between a girl and horse, it's the greatest gift I know
          So I'll cheer them on, driving near and far, and I'll never let them go... I'll never let them go....

          Comment


          • #45
            If we have a horse show mom convention sometime, that will definitely be the themesong....boy, could i relate!

            Comment


            • #46
              You have really have to get the COTH to publish these!
              I can see it now, just like the Cooky McClung books! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
              http://community.webshots.com/user/cotswoldjr
              http://temp.hillcresttrainingnet.off...m/default.aspx
              [url]
              Starman Babies

              Comment


              • #47
                That was great. Not too corny at all! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
                "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                Comment


                • #48
                  I am currently working on a horsey version of "Satisfaction" - Bare with me - should be done by 4:30 [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    "Bare with me" - i like it, very appropriate for the song in question.....are you talking eastern time BTW!

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      The creative juices were flowing pretty naturally today...so here is "8 Per Fect Jumps" - sung to the toon of the Rolling Stone's "Satisfaction" - enjoy!

                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps
                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps
                      'Cause I look, and I pull, and I push, and I kick
                      I can't get no, I can't get no

                      When I'm ridin' on my horse
                      And that man comes on the loud speak er
                      And he's tellin' me I'm on the deck
                      Be at the ingate...ready to go in
                      The pressure mounts and I get psyched
                      I can't get no, oh no no no
                      Chip Chip Chip, that's what I do

                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps
                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps
                      'Cause I look, and I pull, and I push, and I kick
                      I can't get no, I can't get no

                      When I'm comin out the ring
                      And the trainer comes up to tell me
                      How my horse needs some zing
                      Well I just want to tell him to give me Rox Dene
                      Instead he goes off flirting
                      I can't get no, oh no no no
                      Chip Chip Chip, that's what I do

                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps,
                      I can't get no courses without lumps.
                      'Cause I look, and I push, and I pull, and I kick
                      I can't get no, I can't get no

                      When I'm ridin' round the course
                      And I'm chippin' this and I'm long to that
                      And I'm tryin' to make my trainer proud
                      Who tells me baby better come back later next week
                      'Cause I see you're on losing streak
                      I can't get no, oh no no no
                      Chip Chip Chip, that's what I do

                      I can't get no, I can't get no
                      I can't get no 8 per fect jumps
                      No 8 per fect jumps, no 8 per fect jumps, no 8 per fect jumps

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Thanks guys - this is fun, isn't it? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                        offcourse: a Horse Show Mom convention - what an awesome idea! At the very least, we ought to have our own clique here on the bb, don't you think? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Definitely a clique - no doubt one that no one else wants to belong to, lol! The funny thing is, all these young kids of the BB, someday they'll be horse show moms too...!

                          I've come to enjoy horse shows a lot more once i got to know a few of the moms from the "other" barns...otherwise, there can be this competitive curtain of silence...! At one show a few years ago, I was watching one of my daughter's "rivals" - at the time, they tended to finish 1,2 in their equi classes. Anyway, the other girl had a really nice round in a jr hunter class, definitely was the winning round and no question better than my daughter's on that particular day...I had been second guessing the scores and sent up a cheer when her daughter won...the mom (who had never spoken to me before) looked at me and came over to ask why i had cheered - i explained and from then on she was friendly...so the more moms get together the better, i think!

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            You guys!!!! Too funny!!!! As I sit here wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes..I'm in awe of your prose-prowess..Especially after my less-than-stellar performance in my lesson today.Thanks, I needed it! I printed the "per fect 8" for my trainer, she's always telling me "it's only 8 little fences, what is so hard?"

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Sorry to hear about that skysmom!

                              You guys are too funny!!!!!

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Sorry, so close, but yet so far.

                                Seriously, I wish I had the talent of recreating a song like you guys!!!!! (can't sing for the life of me, but)

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  VTRider, another great one! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
                                  "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    I followed Sleepy's suggestions and rewrote the Eagles' "Desperado"

                                    Jumper Rider
                                    Why don't you come to your senses
                                    You've been crashing through fences
                                    For so long now
                                    Oh you're a brave one
                                    But I know that you've been a lawn dart
                                    Those courses that please you can trick you somehow

                                    Don't you gallop to the combination
                                    He'll refuse it if he's able
                                    You know the inside turn is always the best bet
                                    And it seems to me some fine mounts
                                    Have been walkin' through your barn aisle
                                    But you only buy the ones that you can't ride

                                    Jumper Rider
                                    Oh you ain't gettin' no faster
                                    Your spurs and your big crop
                                    Are making him nuts
                                    And time faults? Oh time faults
                                    That's just some trainers talkin'
                                    Your horse he would rather jump this course all alone

                                    Don't your feet get stuck on your stirrup pads
                                    Your horse won't go and you have to add
                                    Should you do the seven or the eight?
                                    You're dropping all the rails and poles
                                    Ain't it funny how the ribbons go away

                                    Jumper Rider
                                    Why don't you come to your senses
                                    Stop jumping those fences
                                    Trot through the gate
                                    You may be off course
                                    But there's a trainer to school you
                                    You better let that poor judge buzz you
                                    Let that poor judge buzz you
                                    You better let that poor judge buzz you
                                    Before it's too late

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #58
                                      I am in awe... these are all great!
                                      Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        Aren't you all glad you chose to ride---can you imagine making song parodies about, oh, say, fishing? LOL, perhaps golf? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                        I am highly impressed by everyone's ability, you are all talented, I bow! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]

                                        Forgot to mention, I believe that someone should remake "Hotel California" perhaps into "HITS Show California" [?] I challenge someone to try, I refuse to do it myself! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          In the dark desert Sandland
                                          Sandy wind in my hair
                                          One smell of manure dust
                                          Rising up through the air
                                          Up ahead in the distance
                                          I couldn't see any light
                                          The sand grew heavy and my sight grew dim
                                          I had to scratch for the night

                                          There we stood at the ingate
                                          I heard the judge's bell
                                          And I was thinking to myself
                                          This could be heaven or this could be hell
                                          The she picked up her left lead
                                          And she towed me away
                                          There were voices on the loudspeaker
                                          Thought I heard them say

                                          Welcome to the HITS Show Calfornia
                                          Such a muddy place
                                          Sand blows in your face
                                          No extra stalls at the HITS Show California
                                          In the early year
                                          You can find it here

                                          Her bit is definitely twisted
                                          She follows all the new trends
                                          She has a lot of pretty pretty grooms
                                          That she calls friends
                                          How they dance in the barn aisles
                                          Sweet horse show sweat
                                          Some course to remember
                                          Some course to forget

                                          So I called to my trainer
                                          Please bring me my crop
                                          And she said
                                          "You only need that when your horse wants to stop"
                                          And still those announcers are calling from far away
                                          Call you out of the schooling ring
                                          Just to hear them say

                                          Welcome to the HITS Show California
                                          Such a muddy place
                                          Sand blows in your face
                                          Bring a lot of loot
                                          And your rubber boots

                                          Oxers down the long side
                                          Combinations aren't nice
                                          And she said "We're all exhibitors here
                                          Paying an outrageous price"
                                          And in their jumper classic
                                          They galloped in the two
                                          The stab them with their steely spurs
                                          But they just can't win the blue

                                          Last thing I remember
                                          I was jumping through the four
                                          I had to make a rollback turn
                                          To the jump I jumped before
                                          Relax, said my trainer
                                          You're the last once to be seen
                                          You can gallop any time you like
                                          But you can't ever lean

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