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Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"

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  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Inverness:
    Surely this thread needs to die a quiet death. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]


    says the woman with her name in the title... No way this has to be one of the most entertaining threads ever! Be lucky Inverness that your name will be forever remembered [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it" -W.C. Fields
    ~ they tease you cause they like you ~


    • My bad! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

      Blame it's resurrection on vineyridge! Ok, so her question was asked in all innocence, or so she'll say! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
      \"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.\" -- Ralph Waldo E


      • Can't die until Beezer spills Mr. Beezer's fear.

        For some reason, I have suffocation in my teeming imagination.

        Besides, this is, as I have now learned to my personal discomfort, a VERY common and important issue for riders, which needs argument.

        Duffy, you done good.
        "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay."
        Thread killer Extraordinaire


        • Well, I just got back from three days of The Horse Show From Hell, and I believe I was saved from "Invernessitis" in part because I wore the lovely padded underwear on Day #3, which included two hacks and eq on the flat. Only problem is, during the sitting trot of the eq class, I was acutely aware of the foam-padded crotch snaking its way like an eel up my nether region until, by the time the class was finished, my a** was as red as an orangutan. I was considering purposely dehydrating myself just so I wouldn't have to pee, and thereby scald myself. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

          ... And yes, I realize this is far, far more about me than what you ever wanted to know... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

          "I generally avoid temptation... Unless I can't resist it." - Mae West


          • OMG!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
            \"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.\" -- Ralph Waldo E


            • I must say that I have had the dreaded Dressage Crotch (Inverness are you happy with me? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] ) But my worst case came from a new pair of breeches. New breeches, thong, hot muggy day, major work on sitting trot and cantering 8m circles. Desitin and baby powder are my friend! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] Interesting call to work the next day..."Hmmm, I can't come in, my, ummm, tummy, Yeah! My tummy hurts and I can't walk." Lucky for me my boss didn't press further.

              On the OTHER topic of discussion, I have it on a couple of good authorities that female riders build certain muscles, and can, um, contract those muscles in such a way that non rider's can not. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] No further explanation forthcoming. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]


              "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'
              - Therese

              "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams


              • Laughing with many tears now! Merry - you crack me up!


                • Hey, I aims to please! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                  "I generally avoid temptation... Unless I can't resist it." - Mae West


                  • Ah, geez. I nearly died of embarrassment just READING this post--with no one else in the room to catch me!!!!

                    And to the one (I forget who at the moment)who mentioned "Dressage Crotch"--it's also a "Reiner," and "Trail Rider" problem as well.

                    What is that odd whistling sound? Oh, heavens! My pencil punched a hole in my forehead!
                    ~This is *way* more fun than doing something productive~


                    • and forgot how much I disclosed about my person. I feel for all of those who suffer from this malady, but alas, I don't get it. This information could come in handy when Mr. Mommy is pestering me however!

                      Still married, and still commando! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                      You have to be smarter than the horse, and since that will never happen, pretend you are.

                      [This message was edited by Silly Mommy on May. 29, 2002 at 07:02 PM.]


                      • OK, OK PLEASE don't all jump on me at once - Even for me, resurrecting a thread where the last post was over 15 YEARS AGO is pretty spectacular...But I came across this while searching for help with the very same problems. I guess it is a perennial problem! (or should that perineum problem?).

                        Joking aside, there are some very important points here, the first of which has to be about using talcum powder "down there". Only this last few months has a very famous manufacturer began loosing lawsuits about talc causing cancer when used regularly on female genitals, especially where it might get inside. Riding would seem to increase the risk considerably. The incidence is still low, but court papers that have been released seem to show the makers knew of the increased risks years ago, but said nothing. Just do a search, as I know it seems incredible since we have all been using it since we were babies, but I have had to stop over the concerns.

                        Using anything else might also be a problem, as the movement may mean it gets introduced into you. Clean, smooth and soft cotton fabric might be the best solution for reducing friction for the time being. Time to dig out all those "grannie panties" with the 6" wide crotches...

                        I can offer some advice I have had to discover the hard way over the years. All the advice given early on in this thread is good, but I tried all of it and it did not help me. What has helped me has been wearing "comfy rumps" (a British make, so can be difficult to find, I have to do a search for them when I need more). Wearing Jodhpurs instead of jeans has also helped me a lot.

                        If you are insisting on jeans, then you need a sewing machine. Have you ever actually felt the "knot" right in the center of the crotch in jeans? That's 8 layers of denim right there, so no wonder it can hurt some of us... The seams need to be unpicked from the front waistband, down under and back up to the waistband at the back. The inside seams of the legs also need to be unpicked as well. The seams are then remade by sewing a simple running stitch 1/4" in from the cut edges, with the right sides of the fabric together. The two cut edges are then opened out and pressed flat. This makes for a very thin, flat and comfortable seam. It is also incredibly weak and will burst the first time you try to put them on. So you need to sew over the entire seam with a 3-step zig-zag stitch, or a "honeycomb" stitch, as wide as the sewing machine can do. This will make a very strong seam, with slight stretch and MUCH more comfortable and flat. Chafing will be a lot less and is well worth it wherever clothes rub you up the wrong way.

                        Sorry, for digging this thread up again, but when you have had to clean blood off a saddle several times...Well, I hope I might have been able to help someone else who has had the problems I've had.