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AIDEN AUCTION WINNING OFF TOPIC THREAD: like Seinfeld, it's an OT topic about NOTHING meets Question for Merry

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  • Original Poster

    And then there was the time a boyfriend said "Hang on a sec," as we were going to a restaurant, ran into a florist and came out with these gorgeous roses, which of course I forgot to take with me.



    • Romance? Mr. Merry won me over because he was on a scuba diving trip way the hell in the midst of some ocean and I was leaving for a week long horse show. I asked him to call me before I left. Yeah, right, I thought. Fat chance. But to me it was a test. I admit it.

      Well, wouldn't ya' know it, just as I was about to load the horses into the trailer, I get this phone call. Very garbled. Lots of static. Some sort of ship-to-shore delayed relay. It was him! He could only talk for about 90 seconds, but it was enough for me to go, "Okay. He gets me."


      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Merry:
        I asked him to call me before I left. Yeah, right, I thought. Fat chance. But to me it was a test. I admit it.

        Well, wouldn't ya' know it, just as I was about to load the horses into the trailer, I get this phone call. Very garbled. Lots of static. Some sort of ship-to-shore delayed relay. It was him! He could only talk for about 90 seconds, but it was enough for me to go, "Okay. He gets me."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Oh yes, THE TEST. One known only to the one administering it, requiring oodles of psychic powers, sensitivity, the rules forever changing dependent on the mood. That, BTW, is the true difference between men and women. We dedicate a great deal of time constructing these tests, hoops, obstacle courses, puissance walls, all at the root to measure confirmation of love - and men, most of 'em anyway, haven't a clue what's going on. The poor things.

        I married Hans because of his heart-warming, knee-crumbling proposal: 'the thought of marrying you is not offensive to me'.


        • My romantic moment........went to a new boyfriend's house to um, watch movies. It was the middle of winter and he had a leather couch, not really cozy. He gets a blanket and puts it in the dryer, being from Kentucky, I thought the puppy had pissed on it but no.....he was just warming it up for me!

          One hundred percent of the shots you don't take, don't go in
          \"I\'m a donkey on the edge!\"

          ...Saving just one Dane will not change the world; But the world will change for that one Dane...


          • neither Matt nor I are particularly romantic. ok. we aren't at all. but honestly, and those of you with long term relationships and marriages have to appreciate this. This is the first boy(friend) of the intimate sort I can fart in front of.

            ok, so we live together making that inevitable, and maybe its just the sort of girl I am. but I am THRILLED to have one that will move his laptop so I can come sit on his lap. I can rip one, and RUN giggling. and he thinksits funny too.

            All through HS I dreamed of a boy I could wrestle with and fart on, my best friend is insanely jealous (yes, we know we aren't "normal" girls)

            and Heidi-- boy got a late start, hes still going thru the "oh my god I think I invented this wonderful thing known as sex" phase. While I am not complaining its definitely funny.



            • Heidi, Hans' proposal: How terribly sweet and oh-so-manlike!

              Meanwhile, I'm thinkin' I need to follow Pam (LordHelpus) around on her vacations.


              • Romance is expansive, expressive, explosive. It needs to be well established before you "make a trip to the ladies room", IMO.

                The most romantic moments for me are the knowing smiles, the times when you say the same things at the same times, when he lets the dog out in the middle of the night so I don't have to.

                Not high drama, but it works for me.
                See those flying monkeys? They work for me.


                • just found this thread- way to funny! Heidi, Merry and Fred you guys so need to be featured on Biography

                  Well not much to contribute but:

                  -have danced on bars; speakers; tables; chairs and a car. Though I must admit I'm the most horrid dancer so was nicely toasted each and everytime
                  -always seem to kiss guys first though won't call until they do
                  -commando is the only way to go
                  -made out with a married guy (didn't know)
                  -never flashed anyone; though if my puppies were bigger I probably would
                  -been proposed to once (was sweet- and surprisingly he wasn't drunk at the time )
                  -my tack room is messy; my car is worse; my room makes my car looks like Mr Clean's
                  -I'm terrified to be pulled over by a cop (never been) but find them utterly irresitible otherwise
                  -I have inhaled. Many times. But won't touch a cigarette

                  worst pick up line heard: Your ash looks amazing in those pants but it'd look better in mine

                  ~ Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once ~
                  ~ they tease you cause they like you ~


                  • I take that back. Most romantic thing - last night while drunk as skunks sitting in corner of bar in Nogales, I half-test boy and am like "how long have we been together" since we didnt establish the relationship for a few months etc etc..

                    without taking a breath he answered the day we wrote our first e-mails to each other. and then rounded up the months.

                    bestill my heart..



                    • Oh, yes, the fart that binds

                      Who hasn't suffered through terrible gas in the first months of a new relationship; and perhaps ponygrl has it right, it's the man in whose company you can let go a biggie, who proves to be the keeper. Is there a dutch oven icon with the new features, Erin?

                      Men are surprising at times, only so very rarely. Just when ya think they're brain-dead, they startle you with such clear and exact details that tell you they think, they care, they internalize.

                      Yes, Merry, Hans, my beloved Oded-lookalike is romantic in a truly earnest and practical way. It's part of his charm.


                      • Original Poster

                        Oy vey, no fart stories! Yikes!


                        • What, coreene? You mean we've finally found the bottom of the gutter with fart stories?


                          • I have heard the single WORST pickup line EVER:

                            "I want to f&%$ you up the a$$."

                            And he REALLY thought it might work. I met him 10 minutes before this was stated. Um...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

                            EMPLOYED!!!! Finally!! I started at Cosi and didn't spill anything on anyone (yet), Dupont North for all you VA/MD/DC'ers
                            Can you stress-fracture your brain?


                            • Heineken, I've warned you to stay away from those one-brand-of-beer joints in the bayou!


                              • Original Poster

                                No, it's just that I was so proud of being part of a conversation that didn't immediately turn into fart stories! And that we managed to spin out an OT thread for 12 pages before the first fart ... well, I do find it admirable.

                                But now that we're there - am I the only one who is in fits of giggles when the horses fart? I think it is hysterical.


                                • You know ...

                                  There are just some things a younger sister is NOT supposed to know!!

                                  Dearest Santa: All I really want for Christmas is flying LEAD CHANGES!!
                                  Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!


                                  • farts as phermones, hmmmmm. That does not really work for me.
                                    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.


                                    • WOW! I've missed out on so much fun! Lessee...

                                      Runner up in a wet Tshirt contest in Ft. Lauderdale (the winner was a ringer). At one time in my life I did have boobs.

                                      Numping in my pickup truck, on a hill, emergency brake decides to go...

                                      Went sleepwalking nekkid while camping in the middle of the Adirondacks.

                                      Have danced just about everywhere.

                                      Inhaled once .

                                      Did the premarital fart.

                                      Proud member of the Sunnieflax Clique, IDAC Clique
                                      "Poster formerly known as SQW"
                                      I gotta do-over and am doin it my way!!!


                                      • Poor Beezer. Seeing her big sis' spill her tawdry life stories on the BB. Yet, do any tales truly surprise her?

                                        I have no interpersonal fart stories to share. However, I do have some great vomit anecdotes. The most priceless one:

                                        So I'm dating cute blond Boy Toy, but I'm kind of embarrassed about the looks I get, so we try to go to dark places and slink around. One night we're at the movies all snuggly-buggly. It was some intense drama. Suddenly the woman in front of us gets up, starts to make this mad dash out of her seat and down the congested row in the dark. Suddenly she grabs her stomach, leans over the back of her chair and BARFS! Of course, it projects right into my Boy Toy's lap!!!!

                                        Needless to say, it kind of put a damper on the night. And so much for quietly exiting the theatre.


                                        • Favorite souvenir: ashtray lifted from restaurant in London when I was a senior in high school. I did not do the lifting - dad and stepmother did, mortifying said senior. Oh, the disgusted looks I threw! Imagine, then, finding it wrapped up under the Christmas tree for me!

                                          Here's one (prompted by the Mariah and other shriekers discussion): when did you know you had to dump him? For me, it was sitting in the back seat when the "I will always love you" Whitney thing came on, and he started making significant eye contact. To quote Heineken, EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!