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Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"

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  • #61
    No, I think the sensitive ones are those of us who can't ride in jeans [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] Which means all of us DQs [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

    I had "The Inverness Problem", even in britches and half chaps, with my previous horse, a tense OTTB. Also, my old dressage saddle had a cut-back pommel. Tense horse + cutback saddle + lots of trot work = peeling away the undies + screaming in pain on the potty.

    As we can see from the above equation, the solution would be to subtract jeans and add relaxed horse. Also, multiply the cube of the saddle by the square root of the OTTB.

    May I also suggest a research project? Everyone who knows a male who has "enjoyed the company of" more than one female rider should be polled (not POLED!), so we can gather enough data to determine our relative sensitivity... I have a test subject in mind, but I don't know if I want to hear the answer... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

    HYN, a member of the "old, bitter, shriveled, and single" clique. Gonna slap a couple of you young 'uns.


    • #62
      I am just going to shield my eyes and pretend I never saw this thread.... lordy lordy lordy. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img]

      (Although I do want to know the outcome of HYN's research project! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] )


      • #63
        Beezer.... I believe Mr. CWP has noted that riders... including Mrs. CWP [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] ARE more... well, you know... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
        Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


        • #64
          DMK, I think the word you are looking for is more spirited. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

          "The older I get, the better I used to be."
          \"The older I get, the better I used to be, but who the heck cares!\"


          • #65
            Very tactful CactusKate. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

            I'll have to poll Mr. artienallie tonight - he's mentioned this subject before.... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]


            • #66
              Well, we sure aren't intimidated by a crow hop or two [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
              Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


              • #67
                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I'll have to poll Mr. artienallie tonight - he's mentioned this subject before....

                Oh thank God!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] I was really starting to think I was alone out here... Please do tell us what Mr. Artienallie says!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img]

                And DMK [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] (I just LUURRRVVEEE emoticons [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] )


                • #68
                  Yes! Please do let us know what Mr. Artienallie says ... and I second the call for research results, HYN. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                  Psst ... should I tell you Mr. Beezer's biggest fear?? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img]

                  Naaaaw. Never mind. Let your imaginations run wild! Besides, I don't want to be accused of corrupting innocent young minds! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                  ****Bulletin Board Goddess****
                  Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!


                  • Original Poster

                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I had "The Inverness Problem", even in britches and half chaps . . ." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    Can I persuade ya'll ladies to refrain from referring to this delicate condition as, "The Inverness Problem?" The term "Dressage Crotch" is much more appropriate don't you think?

                    I'm not terribly anxious to be forever remembered on this BB for injuries to the "community property."

                    BTW, Kennett Square may be facing charges for contributing to this "problem." Although at the tender age of twelve, I doubt that last night's unfortunate student will be suing for loss of consortium, but she clearly can make a case for intentional infliction of genital distress. Hmm, maybe even assault and battery with a mareish weapon . . .
                    Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


                    • #70

                      You never know when to leave well enough alone.....LOL. The child was merely riding bareback. She was learning (as we all do when we first start riding bareback) how to properly positon her body in the most comfortable way on her big fat sofa. No true the downward transitions were not easy but once she got the hang of bracing with your hand she was fine... So let's see, at the end of your next lesson we can practice this too!!


                      • #71
                        [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

                        Sounds like the title to a soon to be released thriller a la "The Eiger Sanction"
                        "If you would have only one day to live, you should spend at least half of it in the saddle."


                        • #72
                          sorts of issues.... I know all about her... Its all her fault... laughing... Actually I'm going to try some really wild outfit for a lesson sometime and see if my trainers notice. On Woody, it would be allowed, but on Hallowed Handsome Howie, any transgression would NOT be tolerated.......



                          • #73
                            on this subject.

                            He agrees spirited is a good adjective to use. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                            As a writer, he also had some other adjectives, but spirited was mentioned here already, so that's what I'll stick with.

                            Beezer, what exactly is Mr. Beezer's biggest fear? You really don't want MY imagination running wild! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]


                            • #74
                              artienallie... in the interest of the first amendment, and literary accuracy and all, perhaps you should divulge the other adjectives? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                              And you are right - Beezer should fess up. A BB full of rampant imaginations could be very dangerous!
                              Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


                              • #75
                                Do you think the moderators hearts could stand the 'fessing up' that is being called for here??????? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
                                Mal:This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then .... explode


                                • #76
                                  I say there's only one way to find out!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
                                  Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


                                  • #77
                                    He agreed readilly with spirited

                                    Also used (that can be repeated here....):



                                    responsive [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]


                                    • #78
                                      I just loved the use of "rampant"!! It so ... somehow ... fits right in ... so to speak. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                                      As for Mr. Beezer ... well, I have to mull how to say this in polite company. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img]

                                      Hm ... "the Inverness problem." Has a nice ring to it, methinks. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                      ****Bulletin Board Goddess****
                                      Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!


                                      • #79
                                        Yes, Beezer... "rampant" is one of those words that so perfectly describes BB culture, isn't it? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                        I'm with the rest of y'all on The Inverness Problem. Makes me think of a Robert Ludlum novel.

                                        Artienallie... I just will refrain from commenting on your use of the word "gentle"... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
                                        Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


                                        • #80
                                          I thought about the possibilities AFTER I posted.

                                          "The Inverness Problem" sounds a little like a spy novel to me....

                                          [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]