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Dear Abby, Teach Me to Be Polite

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  • #21
    A scrub is a girl that thinks she can ride and is
    Also known as a chip an miss buster
    Always talkin' about what she can do
    She just sits on her on her on her on her
    So (no)

    I don't want your advice (no)
    I don't want to give you my time (no)
    I don't want to watch you try to ride (no)
    I don't want none of your time and (no)

    I don't want no scrub
    A scrub is a girl that can't get no ribbons at the show
    Hanging out the passenger side
    Of her poor horses side
    Trying to holler at me
    I don't want no scrub
    A scrub is a girl that can't get no ribbons at the show
    Hanging out the passenger side
    Of her poor horses side
    Trying to holler at me

    But a scrub is telling me how to ride
    But her own game is kinda weak
    And I know that She cannot compete against me
    Cuz I'm lookin' like class and she's lookin' like trash
    Can't get wit' no deadbeat (deadbeat)
    So (no)

    I don't want to know what you would do (no)
    I don't want to hear your wrong advice (no)
    I don't want to meet you at the show (no)
    I don't want none of your time (no)


    If you don't have a eye and you're missing
    Oh yes freak I'm talking to you
    You and your crazy Momma
    Oh yes girl I'm talking to you
    If you have a pathetic attempt at riding but you don't show love to your horse
    Oh yes girl I'm talking to you
    Wanna compete with me with no class
    Oh no I don't want no Scrub
    "All life is precious"
    Sophie Scholl


    • #22
      Moesha: THANK YOU!!!! I'm no longer crying, I'm laughing!

      As for said child, it isn't the child's fault, it is the parent. You and Trainer or one or the other of you should sit down and talk to Mummy-dearest about how miserable her child's behavior is...At Patty's barn we have a "No Prima Donna" rule!

      Aqha Clique
      Can you stress-fracture your brain?


      • #23
        Moesha, you are hilarious! I just have a very funny mental image of all this after that song....

        "For the dead and the living we must bear witness."


        • #24
          Okay, that song is the best!1 I can just picture this scraggly girl leaning off the side of the poor horse!!!

          *Behind every good woman lies a trail of men*


          • #25
            I have always been partial to these responses:

            'You're joking right?"
            or simply:

            I hate obnoxious kids. I hate their parents more. HOnestly if that kid actually said that to me, my response would've been "You're joking right? That is the most obnoxiously rude, egotistical thing anyone's ever said to me...it'll be a cold day in hell before you ever touch my horse's back, JUST because you made that comment to me."
            Remember...though eagles may soar, weasles never get sucked into a jet engine.

            Soar like a weasle my friend.


            • #26
              In my best Boston accent I'd tell Precious to "Go get a job."

              Fortunately, the juniors I've met at my barn are good people and I wouldn't hesitate to let them ride my horse (w/their Trainer's permission, of course). [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

              "The man is only half himself, the other half is his expression."

              -- Emerson "The Poet" (1844)
              Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


              • #27
                I know of one junior whose been doing a fantastic job with her young mare, who received a letter/list from another rider (junior) at the barn detailing what she had been doing wrong with her horse's training, critism about the bit she used (chosen by the trainer, btw) and how she (the letter writer) would do things differently. The author of the letter also added that she would be willing to ride the horse, as she would do a better job than the current part-boarder.

                Yeah, in the name of all people everywear that put up with that stuff, i'd say use some of the ruder suggestions. Its for her own good.

                ~ Charter Member of the Welsh Cob clique ~


                • #28
                  if it is your horse no/
                  no thank you/
                  no chance/
                  noway in hell!
                  depending on the level of subtle needed.

                  owned by others
                  you will have to ask the owner
                  get on the phone quick and kill any chance of that hapening.
                  more hay, less grain


                  • #29
                    No hard feelings toward our BB brethren who have opted for the straight ahead approach (i.e. "hot cup o'BLANK off") to this situation but there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, as mean, biting, and contemptuous as:

                    "Well bless yore heaaaaaaarrrt!"

                    Delivered, of course, in the most sugar-drippin' Southern accent ever (think South Carolina low-country here). It is guaranteed to slay the unfortunate receipient EVERYTIME!


                    • #30
                      Some wierd responses to make everyone stare at her like she's a one eyed six-armed midget and make her feel really stupid::

                      When you two are alone, and shes making a remark quietly, (make sure!) and others are nearby, yell loudly, "No I will not make out with you!!!!" And run away to your friends while they laugh and stare at her.

                      At the show, offer to "help" her with her course, and tell her the completely wrong one right before she goes into the arena to do her course.

                      When she walks into the tack room (again, make sure people are around), take a british accent and say, "Eww! What's that bloody ruddy smell?"

                      Get everyone of your friends to yell, "Wrong lead!" at her at the same time, even if she's on the right one. This would be especially funny at a show.

                      Spill coffee on her breeches right before she shows.

                      Whenever she passes you, move opposite from her across the aisle and stare at her like shes got boogers hanging out of her nose and warts on her forehead. Laugh loudly when she checks her appearence in a mirror.

                      Casually scratch your cheek with your middle finger raised whenever she makes you angry. Make sure she notices.

                      \"Friends don\'t let friends have mullets.\"


                      • #31
                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by suzy:
                        Of course, the ULTIMATE response delivered in a charming Southern accent would be:

                        "Bless your heart."


                        P.S. "Bless your heart" basically translates to the exact opposite using my favorite F word.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                        Suzy, that is my FAVORITE! I come from a southern family and am well versed and trained in the way of our people [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] MY problem is after being born in Little Rock, Arkansas we moved to Madison Wisconisin. Hence the constant internal struggle between Your reply and Mine [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

                        -- Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
                        Life Goes On


                        • #32
                          We had one of these types of children at the barn I used to board at. She of course could do no wrong and as her mother said to my husband and I quote..."(insert name of child here) could do so much with that mare...Stephanie just doesn't do her justice."

                          Out comes the rifle.....bye,bye Mother and child [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif[/img]

                          Of course they say this about Sophie. Who in the 7 years I've owned her has only had one other rider sucessfully ride her. She's a b&$%^ of the worst kind and likes only me [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]


                          • #33
                            well with a mare like Sophie, then, you should just throw the kid up on her..... after finding a stopwatch that will count the microseconds before she hits the dirt [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                            I am so glad that I haven't encountered people like that. Where do they get that the world is theirs and theirs alone? Good grief.


                            Lindsay & Chance
                            "Success is relative to how well you stay
                            on the horse."
                            ^^^^Proud member of the DCSC!^^^^
                            "Show me the back of a thoroughbred horse, and I will show you my wings."


                            • #34
                              Moesha and Lisa's responses kick a$$! I agree with the person who said to throw the snot up on the b!tchy mare's back...count the seconds until launch, then saunter over and say:

                              "Why are you sitting on the ground? I thought you said you could ride?" Mwahahahahaha!

                              I, personally, prefer the cold, level stare approach. When CBJ starts cocking off, I'd do my best impression of Greta Garbo...then casually ask, "Why will you not leave me alone?"

                              Floccia non fascio!
                              ~This is *way* more fun than doing something productive~


                              • #35

                                'hmm..go ride your own horse. [if said child doesnt have one;] oh wait. you dont have one.'

                                or the simple "buzz off"(or insert choice profanity/unmentionable vocabulary).

                                Oh sure.. you can ride my horse. right after you clean my stall, weed my front yard, and wash my car. Sound like a deal? didnt think so.

                                Oh wait.. i dont have this problem! see, all the juniors(including ME!) are very humble. The horses i ride as an apprentice for my instructor, their owners amaze me at how well they know their horses. I've known most of these horses for a few years, but they ride every day. Its amazing to see what they can do. When we HAVE had other annoying juniors, specifically one who told me 'oh well, when you are good enough and your instructor is good enough, maybe she'll teach you how to do that.' What i usually end up doing, is walking away mid-sentence. It leaves them with an odd look...

                                Or, you can always play the 'deaf adult' and walk off like you didnt hear her commenting on how she could ride your horse better than you. My response? go find a jack. you're going to need one to get my boot out of your a$$. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                                Obviously, i dont like logic and it is beyond my mental capacity to ignore people... my mind mechanically comes up with interesting things to say. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                                did you ever notice that people never fall off backwards while jumping?? food for thought.


                                • #36
                                  should win a BB award for her response to this.


                                  You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
                                  When blood is the beverage of choice, the sharpest fangs feed first.


                                  • #37
                                    Now that song is priceless (won't be able to get it out of my head)...

                                    I say, be patient! Revenge comes silently and ruthlessly because we all know that the louder and more frequently one shoots one's mouth off, the more one tempts the gods. And the gods administer beat downs far greater, more public and more humiliating than we mortals could ever imagine.

                                    In the meantime, smile knowingly and mysteriously at her - she'll get hers; she just won't know when or where.
                                    Card-Carrying Member o\' the Mac Clique


                                    • Original Poster

                                      You guys, these were wonderful responses - y'all made my day/weekend with these!

                                      Oh and the latest on Certain Bossy Junior. After her triumph this weekend in the unrated division of a C rated horse show, she no doubt feels she is ready to conquer the Childrens Hunters at a certain A show. Of course, never mind the fact that she whined and jerked her poor horse around in the equitation class and then blamed it on the horse. She blames everything on the horse.

                                      I told me trainer to keep her the hell away from me at the show this weekend. Trainer's response, "she follows me around."

                                      Oy Veh!!

                                      Anyway, I don't mean to sound like I am disrespectful of juniors because our barn is full of junior riders and every single one except this brat is nice, helpful and alot of fun.

                                      Even the other kids can't stand this brat.


                                      • #39
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lisamarie8:
                                        and the politely serve her a steaming hot cup of shut the f*ck up [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                                        Just s suggestion [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]


                                        Ow. Ow ow OW. Snorting Doritos is NOT fun. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                        I hate CBJs - there were thousands of them at my last barn. One Nice, Polite Junior (NPJ) with whom I was friends helped that situation out for me. A particularly nasty CBJ said something like, "You know, NPJ, I just don't think Anne likes me very much.." and my sweet, NPJ said, "Oh, don't worry. She doesn't."

                                        Ah, I love blunt juniors.

                                        "I haven't got your degree, and I forgot your name.."
                                        \"A redhead and an appaloosa mare... heaven help us should one of you get mad...\"


                                        • #40
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HotFireQueen:
                                          CBJ wants to ride HotFire's new horse because "I think I can ride it a little better than you."
                                          To which HotFire should reply...

                                          "My you ARE a legend in your own mind, aren't you?" (batting eyelashes with a simpery sickly smile on your face)

                                          or the ever so simple...

                                          "You think so? I think NOT." said while looking down your nose at her.

                                          Or simply say nothing as you burst out laughing hysterically, and every time you lay eyes on her thereafter you start snorting and giggling and laughing uncontrollably. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                          ~<>~ Remember, the Ark was built by a rank amateur; the Titanic was built by a team of experts~<>~