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Dear Abby, Teach Me to Be Polite

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  • Dear Abby, Teach Me to Be Polite

    HotfireQueen is up in arms! There is a certain bossy junior (CBJ) at my barn who insists on giving its opinion when it is not asked for. This CBJ thinks it can ride any horse and loudly critiques both adults and other junior riders. Needless to say CBJ is not popular with any other barn members. CBJ wants to ride HotFire's new horse because "I think I can ride it a little better than you."

    Hotfire tries very hard to avoid said junior but will be showing with it a few weeks from now, and needs advice on how to handle this delicate situation. Does one approach the trainer, the child, or the child's mother? Trainer is a mild person and does not like confrontation.

    CBJs mother gets very annoyed when anyone reprimands this child. Mom is always in attendance.

    Thnk you.
  • Original Poster

    #2
    HotfireQueen is up in arms! There is a certain bossy junior (CBJ) at my barn who insists on giving its opinion when it is not asked for. This CBJ thinks it can ride any horse and loudly critiques both adults and other junior riders. Needless to say CBJ is not popular with any other barn members. CBJ wants to ride HotFire's new horse because "I think I can ride it a little better than you."

    Hotfire tries very hard to avoid said junior but will be showing with it a few weeks from now, and needs advice on how to handle this delicate situation. Does one approach the trainer, the child, or the child's mother? Trainer is a mild person and does not like confrontation.

    CBJs mother gets very annoyed when anyone reprimands this child. Mom is always in attendance.

    Thnk you.

    Comment


    • #3
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HotFireQueen:
      CBJ wants to ride HotFire's new horse because "I think I can ride it a little better than you."
      <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

      Is this YOUR PERSONAL horse, or a barn horse to be ridden by you?

      If it is your personal horse, I don't think I would have a response to the above statement because I would be stunned into silence by the audacity of the remark.

      Who to approach? Well, depends on the age/maturity level of the junior. Ultimately, my gut response is to go to the trainer, though. I'm a chicken with confrontations, but the trainer is the "manager" and when a trainer takes on students, they also take on the responsibility for the student interactions. After all, it is the trainer's barn, isn't it?
      "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." ~ Jack Layton

      Comment


      • #4
        ship her to a certain trainer in upstate New York. Then you will only have to see her on certain occasions and hopefully someone's grandmother will run her down with a wheelbarrow at said farm. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

        *Behind every good woman lies a trail of men*

        Comment


        • #5
          It's simpler than that.

          Here, Hotfire, borrow my frying pan for as long as needed. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

          Comment


          • #6
            Pretend you're somebody you're not and assume their persona. Did you ever watch Sanford and Son? Remember Aunt Esther? Be her. Carry a great big Queen Mother purse, and the next time Miss Sass Bucket flaps her lips, whack her with the purse and say, "Shut up, fool!"

            Comment


            • #7
              Just say NO. Or to be polite, No Thank you.

              Try to ignore her. If that doesn't work then apply the frying pan.

              Comment


              • #8
                "Until you have set the world on fire in the (insert division here) - shut the hell up!"

                Comment


                • #9
                  you just made my freakin week.

                  *Behind every good woman lies a trail of men*

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by joliemom:
                    Pretend you're somebody you're not and assume their persona. Did you ever watch Sanford and Son? Remember Aunt Esther? Be her. Carry a great big Queen Mother purse, and the next time Miss Sass Bucket flaps her lips, whack her with the purse and say, "Shut up, fool!"

                    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    I love you Joliemom! Thank you for making me wet myself this morning! You are such a treasure!

                    my advice to the CBJ: "help" them in their schooling one day and really confuse them even more. It's mean and spiteful but, hey, all's fair in love and war!

                    Robby

                    You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
                    When blood is the beverage of choice, the sharpest fangs feed first.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks Jolliemom (while wiping coffee off screen [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] )

                      I would tell CBJ to mind her own business, grrrr. I hate those brats that think they know all. Robby's idea is pretty good too, If you can't dazzle them with brillance then baffle them with bullsh*t [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

                      "Why is it that a woman will ignore homicidal tendencies in a horse, but will be furious at a man for leaving a toilet seat up?"
                      My horse's feet are as swift as rolling thunder, He carries me away from all my fears. And when the world threatens to fall asunder, His mane is there to wipe away my tears. ~Bonnie Lewis

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        and then politely serve her a steaming hot cup of shut the f*ck up [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                        Just a suggestion [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                        -- Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

                        [This message was edited by lisamarie8 on Jul. 29, 2002 at 02:03 PM.]
                        ------------------------------
                        Life Goes On

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HotFireQueen:
                          CBJ wants to ride HotFire's new horse because "I think I can ride it a little better than you."

                          <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          "Gee, too bad for you s/he's not YOUR horse."

                          "As attractive as that offer is (really! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] ) I've seen you ride, and well, no thanks."

                          "CBJ, quit your whinning and get away from me."

                          Or the very simple but much beloved:

                          "My goodness, you're obnoxious." (Said with the proper tone of dismay [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] ).

                          In some cases politeness IS overrated.

                          I wouldn't worry about the mother, just ignore her.

                          Where on earth did this kid get such a sense of entitlement? It's really disgusting.

                          ****
                          NYHR

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            As a devotee of Judith Martin, may I suggest a slight alternative approach the next time the CBJ decides to make such a comment?

                            "Oh my goodness, no, I don't think that will be necessary."

                            If she persists in wanting to ride Dobbin, I would continue with "Thank you, but no. I'm enjoying dear Dobbin enormously."

                            Much as I believe that a good whacking might improve this child's posterior and general outlook on life, doing so at the barn makes the place less pleasant for others who might feel somewhat compelled to interrupt their riding or stall mucking to inquire if the little monster needs medical assistance or be forced to listen to further whining. This type tends to whine after a forthright fry-panning.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'd go for the frostily polite, yet not, response. Like these:

                              Ride my horse? Why would I want YOU to do that? No thanks, dearie.

                              Now, child, didn't anyone ever teach you that it's quite rude to imply you are superior to anyone else? Especially when that's not quite true now is it? I'll forgive you this time since you didn't know.

                              Oh, my, well, no, that wouldn't be good for him, now would it?

                              I'm terribly sorry - did you think I'd invited you to ride him? I'm not sure how I gave you that impression but, no, thanks.

                              Oh, no thank you. If I feel he needs someone else riding him I'll find someone I'm comfortable with.

                              OR...the very simple:

                              Pardon me? I must have mis-heard what you said, dear, I'm sure you didn't intend to be so rude.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Obviously child has mom wrapped around finger, so mother is useless except as transportation to take child away from barn.

                                You, no doubt, are not the only one wishing to smack CBJ with either a purse, frying pan, or better yet a frying pan IN a purse! So get together and plan your strategy.

                                ALL of you should say, "As attractive as that offer is (really!) I've seen you ride, and well, no thanks." when she wants to ride anybody else's horse.

                                All of you should make "My goodness, you're obnoxious." (Said with the proper tone of dismay) a part of your daily vocabulary. When she realizes that EVERYBODY has caught on and she will no longer be tolerated, THEN one person can take her aside and tell her, "ya know, we're pretty sure there's a nice kid inside you somewhere. Why don't you try letting her out some time?"

                                CBJ personalities can become the bad apple that ruins the barrel. You don't realize it, but everybody (all the non-confrontationals) begins harboring little resentments that end up blowing up out of all proportion, usually at people/situations having nothing to do w/the CBJ.

                                ~Kryswyn~
                                "Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo"
                                ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                                Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                                "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  You could always take the southern approach.

                                  Well my goodness that's so sweet. Bless your heart. But no thank you.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    She needs to go. I am sorry but that girl has severe issues..I am sorry her family is insane and she is a low rent nasty bargain basement sale cheap display makeup counter wearing hoochie without a cause.


                                    HotfireQueen you need to tell her

                                    1st of all
                                    2nd of all
                                    and 3rd of all!!!
                                    "All life is precious"
                                    Sophie Scholl

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lisamarie8:
                                      Ask her if she's thristy
                                      and the politely serve her a steaming hot cup of shut the f*ck up [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                                      <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                      add a side order of ki$$ my A$$ and you have my response [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                      ~ Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once ~
                                      ~ they tease you cause they like you ~

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Of course, the ULTIMATE response delivered in a charming Southern accent would be:

                                        "Bless your heart."

                                        Muhahahahahahaha.

                                        P.S. "Bless your heart" basically translates to the exact opposite using my favorite F word.

                                        Comment

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