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Official "Dear Willem" Advice Thread

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  • Official "Dear Willem" Advice Thread

    With all the people and horses asking advice from Willem recently, the board is getting a little cluttered. We don't want poor Willem to have to search all over to make sure he didn't miss anything, do we? So, I think it's best we have one thread dedicated to seeking advice from Willem and from other educated and experienced equines such as Red Storm. It can be a regular advice column, like Dear Abby and Anne Landers.

    So here it is, the official "Dear Willem" thread. Post your questions to Wonderful Willem here. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    ******
    "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
    "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry
  • Original Poster

    #2
    With all the people and horses asking advice from Willem recently, the board is getting a little cluttered. We don't want poor Willem to have to search all over to make sure he didn't miss anything, do we? So, I think it's best we have one thread dedicated to seeking advice from Willem and from other educated and experienced equines such as Red Storm. It can be a regular advice column, like Dear Abby and Anne Landers.

    So here it is, the official "Dear Willem" thread. Post your questions to Wonderful Willem here. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    ******
    "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
    "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

    Comment


    • #3
      Do this mean you don't nott to want me to be no where else? I haff always loffed you very much aber now I be confused.

      Und do this be die real Portia, mein schatzi, oder die Peep Portia?

      PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
      ------------------------
      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

      Comment


      • #4
        I feel terrible. I go out to the barn every morning and clean my buddy's stall, put nice fresh hay in for him, nice fresh water, some nibbles (vitamins), bring him in and give him a wonderful grooming (though not his "holster" - not yet, anyway) and let him snooze all day. In the evenings one of his barn people friends puts his muzzle on him and he gets to play and eat all night.

        BUT I NEVER RIDE! I am such a busy person, it is SO hard for me to find time to ride.

        Do you think he hates me for that? I am writing to you because I need a horse's point of view, and you seem so wise and worldly.

        Please help me sleep better at night knowing I'm not a terrible person.

        Anxiously awaiting your reply,
        Hitch

        "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
        -Louisa May Alcott
        "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." ~ Jack Layton

        Comment


        • #5
          Mein Schatzi Villem:
          If'uns mein human (I loff mein fraulein) vants to clean mein privates mitt zoap and vater, ist it bad to henjoy das cleaning??? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]


          Und qvestion to das moderators (ve loff,loff dem!):
          Vhy must Villem get only ein thread?
          Villem desearves ein FORUM uff hist OWN!

          [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

          Comment


          • #6
            Who will win the World Cup??? Football, of course. Since you are male, European and obviously a soccer hooligan.

            I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor don't bring me down...
            Man plans. God laughs.

            Comment


            • #7
              Here it be a tip for you: we don't nott to mind if we don't nott to go for ein ride aber if we only go in die arena wenn we go for a ride this we think it be schitt. We want to go on die trails a lot und mannie times we be on die trails und we be pretending we be foxhunting order running mit die herd.

              Mannie times I think I be Thunderbolt.

              We loff it to haff die holsters cleaned aber don't nott to do it mit mannie peoples a-round becose then we get shy. It be okay that we like this. It be a boy thing.

              WORLD CUP off course I want GERMANY aber it be okay too if it be Italia oder USA USA USA. If these three they don't nott to can win then I want some place in South Merica oder Senegal oder Cameroon. Aber I DON'T NOTT TO WANT FRANCE ODER ENGLAND. France I don't nott to like their dining habits und England I don't nott to like Mr Nouveau Riche David Posh Spice Whiner Wide Boy Oik Beckham.

              PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
              ------------------------
              I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #8
                this is the people Portia. Of course I wouldn't restrict your wisdom to only one thread! I just thought it would be easier for you to have one thread where people and horses could post their questions to you, so you can be sure to find them all. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                However, I don't want to put too much on your broad shoulders, so other horses, like Red Storm for example, can and should answer questions too (and [Pinchy] dogs, too.) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                As wise and poplular as you are, it may eventually get to be as long as the original "Question for Merry" thread! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                ******
                "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
                "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                Comment


                • #9
                  She be mein Tante Cindy, I loff her verrie much, I meeted her last year at mein howse. She haff comed down die hill mit mein modder Coreene (I loff her) in der golf cart mit no brakes.

                  PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                  ------------------------
                  I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dear Willem,

                    My new horse Echo (trakehner) will arrive tomorrow night. Authentic german blood runs in his weins, and, although he was born in this country, i expect he'll have inherited just a touch of the wonderful german accent you exhibit so well. I have never had an arian horse before and I am very worried about how to make him more welcome and comfortable (also, i am worried that i will be bucked off if i don't make him comfortable pronto).

                    What would you recommend?
                    -snork (anxious)

                    Edited because i can't spell.

                    [This message was edited by Snork on Jun. 07, 2002 at 06:58 PM.]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I haff to go in a minuto becose mein modder Coreene she be on her way to giff me ein bath for mein haircut tomorrow.

                      This it be wrong.

                      Snork, your pferd horsje he don't nott to buck you off aber he be verrie homesick so you need to giff him mannie kusjes und mannie karotten und tell him you loff him verrie much. This it be all wot we want in life, wenn peoples they loff us. This it be die most importante thing in die world, that someone they loff us.

                      Haff nice weekend up I hop your new pferd horsje he giff you mannie kusjes too und that you haff verrie happie life together und that you loff each other.

                      Your friend,

                      Willem

                      PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                      ------------------------
                      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dear Willem:
                        My male horse Hammie seems to get jealous if I pay any attention to another person. Just today, when my farrier was shoeing him, and we were conversing and telling jokes, Hammie started nuzzling me. Pretty soon he was licking me! When the farrier tried to make Hammie stop, Hammie pinned his ears, bit the farrier on the butt and resumed lavishing his affections upon me. Is this normal? What does all this mean? Do you ever treat Coreene this way? - Confused, Conflicted and Concerned Merry

                        "I generally avoid temptation... Unless I can't resist it." - Mae West

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Dear Willem:
                          My name is Quincy and I think I am in love. The mare in question, however is very hard to get. She is already going out with Sherman, Jobe, Dreamer, and every other male horse in the barn! I can tell she loves me very much because when we are at the ring learning the course she puts her head on my neck and sometimes nuzzles me, but then sometimes when we are in the ring jumping she pincs her ears at me. Is this just a mare thing? How do I get her to become a one-gelding mare?

                          -Love Struck in the Barn

                          What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
                          Someone has a crush on the starter...
                          Don\'t get mad, get glad!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Willem,

                            will you marry me?? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
                            ~Proudly \"bonked\" member of OMGiH I loff my mare clique!!~ and the Redheads with Redheads clique!!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              That was kind of the idea I had in mind (Dear Abby style) when I started the thread (RIP).

                              Willem STILL hasn't stopped snoring long enough to give me any advice on my problem, maybe Cressie had something there...

                              You have to be smarter than the horse, and since that will never happen, pretend you are.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                How do I loff thee, lets mein count de wayz....

                                Buts, herren ist der problem. I haff been tryings to kom und visits der pferds who be typpen here, und roll in der hay loffts, but my mudder (she's da bestesst) haff tooken mein kredit kard. {{She be sayen dat 10 x 12 fedder beds ist too much monees. But I be liken der sofftestt things for my sofftestt skins. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] }}

                                Since I not be habben der "monee tree" in my yard (my modder be sayen dat monees dossents grow on der trees aber here) I dos not be habben der monees for der buss tikkets.

                                How can I be wilkommen to see yous if I no aber der monees und no kredit kardz? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

                                Does you thinks der Silly Mommy hu-mom maybe haff monees she could giff me? I will be promissin nots to play in her haylofft iffen she be helppen me! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                I be verrie lonlees....
                                Your beloffed, Cressie

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  you really don't want to go all the way out to California. You think New Yorkers are bad (yes I live in the STATE of New York, but there are areas of this state that are very different from the CITY), Californians are NUTS!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                                  You have to be smarter than the horse, and since that will never happen, pretend you are.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Willem posted Friday evening that he was going to be busy all weekend being made even more handsome than he is usually. I'm sure he'll return to answer your questions tomorrow. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                                    ******
                                    "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
                                    "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Is the lovely four-legged Portia going to start answering questions as well?

                                      And where is Stormy?

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        #20
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lily:
                                        Is the lovely four-legged Portia going to start answering questions as well?

                                        And where is Stormy?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                        Well, Missy Portia does think she has all the answers. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

                                        ******
                                        "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
                                        "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                                        Comment

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