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Official "Dear Willem" Advice Thread

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  • #41
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by The Best Horse Ever:
    Dear Willem,
    I have a problem. Okay, I admitted it, so now what? Well my problem is...well...this is kind of embarrassing...but...I see dead people. I honestly do. They are mostly under the jumps at horse shows but sometimes they are at home too. Every time I see them everyone gets mad at me because I am too scared to go near the jump. How do I stop seeing dead people under the jumps? They are very scary, and I really try to be a very good boy, I never buck or do anything bad other than seeing dead people. Everyone tells me I am a very handsome horse, but I don't know. I really like to jump but sometimes the dead people are too scary! Please help me, I can't stand this any longer!
    -Jobe
    QUOTE]

    Jobe, I know what you are talking about. Those dead people were in the puddles at St. Clements! Whitney got mad when I jumped them rather than walk like a good boy through the puddles, I just didn't want to get sucked in (and i didn't want my feet dirty either!).
    -Goose

    The One And Only: WhittiMcD

    ** Rainmaker **

    "So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me." - Coldplay, Shiver
    The One And Only: WhittiMcD

    ** Rainmaker **

    \"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me.\" - Coldplay, Shiver

    Comment


    • #42
      Dear Willem,

      Hi, my name is Jubilee. My mommy just brought me home a few weeks ago. We seem to be getting along just fine, but she doesn't seem to come out to see me as much anymore. It isnt that hard to get to me, either, I live in her backyard!! When she comes out to the barn, she kisses her pony more than me, and it makes me sad and jealous. What am I doing wrong?? Is there something I can do to make her pay more attention to me?? I think we really click and really go far..but she just seems so sad and has no drive for riding. Do you know what is going on?? please help!!!

      peace and love,

      Jubilee
      http://community.webshots.com/user/sawbuckaussies
      some pics up, but under construction!

      Comment


      • #43
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WhittiMcD:

        Jobe, I know what you are talking about. Those dead people were in the puddles at St. Clements! Whitney got mad when I jumped them rather than walk like a good boy through the puddles, I just didn't want to get sucked in (and i didn't want my feet dirty either!).
        -Goose

        <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        I know Goose! They are sometimes in the walls of the ring too and in the grass and, oh goodness they're everywhere!

        Willem -
        Mommy uses VERY big spurs on me and a VERY big crop sometimes and a LOT of leg, but they are still there! I guess I will just have to get over it =(

        What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
        Someone has a crush on the starter...
        Don\'t get mad, get glad!

        Comment


        • #44
          From Emmie (The JRT) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

          A BIG Thank You to Willem an' Pinchy for your great advice! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

          I think I gotz a handle on the whole "chewy-bone" situation now! The next time Lucie-the-Lab-adore stole one of my bonz, I gave her the in-EMMIE-table, (patented) Jack Russell "stare" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img] THAT stopped her right in her tracks, I'll tell ya! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] She gotz the message, if ya know what I mean! hehehehe!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

          There now be only one little off-shoot problem created by this solution, tho... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] Them there Lab-adores be dang big an' tall! Oh, yeah...she gimme back my chewy-bone--and hers, too!!--ya know, the GIANT-size, ossified-type bonz?
          An' then she drops it--RIGHT ON MY WIDDLE HEAD!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

          Mama (I DO luvluvluv her) says Lucie's just tryin' to get me play-play with her--which is fine by me--but at 7 months old, Big Blondie is one BIG puppy! But hey--they don't call us Russells brilliant fer nothin'..! I stole ALL the chewy-bonz an' put 'em ALL in MY snuggy-bedded kennel! NOW when LuLu wants one she has to crouch down to get her big ol' head inside--both for giving and taking--an' ya know what? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] She gotz to put her head DOWN to do it! heheheheeee [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

          Are ya proud of the smarts your sister-in-Russell-hood, Pinchy? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] An' Willem--do ya think hangin' around with ME will make Lucie smart like ME, too? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

          Comment


          • #45
            I have come to you for advice. I am Sam. I am a simple horse, with simple dreams and simple tastes. How do I make my mother (whom I love more than anything -- including carrots, and that's saying a lot) understand this?

            My mother is wonderful, but she asks this simple horse to do some very complicated things. Like jumping. I mean, it's OK and all, but I just don't see the point of it. I mean, here I am, just cantering around the ring (and trust me here, cantering *correctly* has been a whole nother complicated endeavor around here -- first I'm too fast, then I'm unbalanced, then my head is too "deep" -- whatever the heck THAT is -- then I'm bulging -- hey, I'm cantering, aren't I? But I digress.) and this jump gets in the way. I mean, what kind of trick is that??

            Tigger, who shares my mother with me, LOVES to jump. He just FLIES. But he doesn't get to jump very much because he has rings on his bones. Mom says that's a bad thing for a jumping horse (which puzzles me, because I thought lady humans LIKED jewelry!) so *I* have to be her jumping horse.

            It's not that I mind that so much -- I'd do anything for my mom -- but it all seems so complicated. And I'm a simple horse. I don't want to disappoint her, and she *does* take me on trail rides and feed me lots of treats, but these flying lead changes (I'm a simple change kinda guy) and complicated jumping courses make my brain boil.

            So ... how can I make her realize that I'm just a pet at heart? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]

            Signed, Your Faithful Reader, Sam I Am.

            Comment


            • #46
              This it don't nott to haff nothing to do mit you wenn she haff giff die ponie mannie kisses. Die ponie it be verrie jealous und she be giffing mannie ponie kisses becose she don't nott to want to hurt die ponie's feelings.

              Mebbe wenn she come out der next time you let out ein really big whinnie und then you giff her mannie kisses und the she know you loff her. She will ride wenn she be ready, right now mebbe she think off riding und she think "Right now this it be wrong, I do it later."

              Mebbe you need to talk to die ponie more und die ponie it can to tell you mannie things a-bout your new modder (I am sure she loffs you) wot you don't nott to already know.

              Dere Sam!

              Jumping in der arena there don't nott to be no point at-all wenn you don't nott to see die point off it. Like Tigger he loff jumping und zo he want to jump all die time, aber becose you don't nott to see die point for you it seem verrie stupide.

              Mannie times wenn we be verrie little still, und you don't nott to beed all growed up yet so this it be a-bout you so pay attention, we haff to do things und we don't nott to see die point und then later wenn we growed up some then we unnerstan. Aber don't nott to act spicious a-bout it becose it don't nott to be no scary thing.

              I hope I haff splained this to you so that you unnerstan. Wenn you haff doed this only as much as Hammie you already will unnerstan more.

              Loff, Willem

              PS Mein modder Coreene (I loff her), she haff sayed to me that your modder Beezer (I loff her too) she haff asked a-bout wenn she can come to jump at mein howse, so mebbe one off these days we meet in person!

              PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
              ------------------------
              I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #47
                This is your loving filly-mare, the REAL Portia. Something happened a couple of weeks ago that has really been bothering me, and I need your advice and reassurance.

                I was at a show a few weeks ago, just standing at the ring with Silvie, the nice lady who keeps me looking gorgeous when I'm at shows and, more important, makes sure I get my food on time. We were watching the other jumpers go around the course, and I was planning how I was going to do it better, when a hu-man (somebody the other hu-mans call "Mike McCormick" who is some kind of big deal with them or something) came by. He stopped and asked Silvie, "Is it OK for me to walk this mare past your stallion?"

                Well, let me tell you, I was shocked! I'm a mare and I would know if there was a stallion around, and there wasn't. So I looked around, then saw that the hu-man was looking right at me, and I realized he was talking about ME! Me, the gorgeous and delicate flower that I am, he thought I was a stallion!

                I know everybody says I take after my daddy, but that just means I'm gorgeous and talented. It doesn't mean I look like a boy! And I know I have a low, sexy voice (you got my MP3, so you know), but I sound like a girl still, don't I?

                The other hu-mans said it was nice of him to make sure it was safe to walk his horse past me, even if I wasn't a stallion. But the silly hu-man hurt my delicate feelings. Then my mean brother Lucien just laughed when I told him about it.

                So, I need your reassurance Willem -- I don't look like a boy, do I? I'm a beautiful girl who you would like to make many smoochies and schnuffles with, right?

                Your filly-mare,

                Portia
                "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                Comment


                • #48
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Best Horse Ever:

                  I know Goose! They are sometimes in the walls of the ring too and in the grass and, oh goodness they're everywhere!

                  <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  There was a dead person in my new stall today Jobe! Whitney had to shove me in! But he went away as soon as I went in.

                  Dear Willem,
                  For the next two weeks, Whitney (my owner) said that we will stay at a nice barn with big stalls at a horse show. I love going to shows (I like to show off my braids) but I have two problems:
                  1) This horse show is by the racetrack, and whenever I look out my window, I want to go run on the track, instead of the show ring! Last year, at this show, I thought that we had to run as fast as we could in the show ring, like on the track, but that made Whitney mad (and she put a mean bit in my mouth), so I won't do that again, but I REALLY WANT TO GO RUN ON THE TRACK! How do I let her let me do this? She is a very good owner, and she lets me gallop around the ring at home, but I REALLY WANT TO RUN ON THE TRACK!
                  2) The really, really big horse in the barn is in the stall next to me, and he sticks his head over the wall, and tries to bite me! I try to be brave, but he is a big, tough warmblood, and I am a skimpy Thoroughbred, so he is pretty intimidating. How can I deal with him? He already gets mad because I get more food than he does, and he won't let me eat in peace.

                  Thank you for reading this! I am anxiously awaiting your reply.

                  -Goose

                  The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                  ** Rainmaker **

                  "So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me." - Coldplay, Shiver
                  The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                  ** Rainmaker **

                  \"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me.\" - Coldplay, Shiver

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    I can answer this one for you! (By the way this is Quincy)

                    1. Okay about the whole race track thing, get over it. Racing is not fun, I have never done it but you hear of all those bad stories of horses getting hurt, and I don't want you to get hurt because you are my friend. So to help you get over it you must try and focus on the hunters. You have to relax a lot before you go out of your stall so you don't get excited by the racetrack (I do Yoga in my stall before my class) and you have to try and focus on your job, which is to keep Whitney safe and happy with you. I have founf that when I am not focused and forget that I am not supposed to buck then my mommy gets very mad at me.

                    About the bully. Who is it? I might have to take a shot at them! Warmbloods are big sissy babies! Remember that! They are just big, beautfiul, airheads! They don't know anything and so they are very insecure and bully us thoroughbreds and quarter horses to raise their self esteem. Soon enough, you will see us taking over the world again as warmbloods become less popular, because let me tell you, Quarter Horses ROCK! So just ignore him, and if he gets too mean then make fun of his big stupid head and I think then he will leave you alone. It has always worked for me living next to Jobe!

                    Hope that helps! See you at the ring!

                    Quincy

                    What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
                    Someone has a crush on the starter...
                    Don\'t get mad, get glad!

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      I is very proud of YOU for figering out your bonz problem wid da Lucie-girl. Da patented JR stare is a very important part of yur repatwor.

                      Yu is SOOO SMART to hide all da bonz in yer kennel! Dat is how a Russell thinks. And to answer yur question: No Lucie da Lab-adore will never be as smart as you! Dey have too many braincells devoted to findin birds and bwinging dem back to da hoomans. (instead of eating 'em demselves).

                      Yer very good fwend,
                      Pinchy!

                      ~Kryswyn~
                      "Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo"
                      ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                      Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                      "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Try to look beautfiful everyone when you pass other horses. Today mommy washed and brushed my tail and when we were walking up to the horseshow a man said to my mommy:
                        Man: "Wow! What a gorgeus tail!"
                        Mommy: "Oh, thanks!"
                        Man: "Is it real?"
                        Mommy: "Oh, yeah!"
                        Man: "Well you will have to tell me your secret later!"

                        See, I know I am beautiful! (I will be posting pictures later) And that man just proved it! What a nice man!

                        So remember everyone, people really do speak the truth, and don't let anyone tell you you are ugly because you know you aren't!

                        Quincy

                        What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
                        Someone has a crush on the starter...
                        Don\'t get mad, get glad!

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          This be me, Kiwi, Beezer's SMART and SWEET JRT. I have a question for you (well, two actually).

                          1). We have squirrels. And rabbits. And birds. But my hu-mom (I LOVE her) and hu-dad (him not so much) say I can't git 'em. This makes for long-suffering afternoons of staring out at the back lawn through the sliding glass door and drooling and whimpering. How can I convince them that our world MUST be rid of these miscreants??

                          And 2) ... how can I get rid of my embarrassing brother, Maori? I've tried growling him out of the bed (Hu-mom does not like this tactic!) and barking at him from the top of the stairs (Hu-dad does not like this tactic!) and given him dozens of other "hints" over the years, but STILL he does not get himself gone. Any ideas??

                          Signed, Beezer's GOOD dog, Kiwi.
                          Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #53
                            Willem? yoo hoo....

                            ******
                            "I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." Thomas Jefferson
                            "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Portia:
                              Willem? yoo hoo....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                              Oui. I zay zee same theeng. Willem. Woo Hoo? Ve are verry worrried about zou. Zou maked me to laugh awl day, oui?
                              Repondez - N'est pas?
                              Frenchie

                              Counting down those 180 days

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                I be here in a little while aber right now I be verrie busy mit other things und I haff to do them first. I be sun-bathing.

                                PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                                ------------------------
                                I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  Dear Willem.

                                  Maybe you does not know me yet, but I am Pirate. I have an owie on my leg. Man who wears big spurs say that I have a broken leg. All I know is it hurts bad bad.

                                  Anyway. Rebecca (i luv her, she not wear spurs) is leaving me to go to play with OTHER horsies! I don't like this. First i don't get to go to shows or get ridden or even go outside, and now Rebecca is leaving me for all summer! I will be very sad.

                                  -Pirate (who is happy that Rebecca not have a broken front hoof any more, and will be happier when his front leg not be broken anymore either)

                                  [This message was edited by ABrokenPirate on Jun. 12, 2002 at 06:57 PM.]

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Und really I want to haff dinner now aber I will let it wait und come here instead. Becose I am loffing all off you.

                                    MEIN SCHATZI PORTIA: You bist verrie beautiful und schon und mebbe this Mike man he be ein few leafs short off ein full bowl. I haff sayed before that Jerry Garcia he haff telled me this. I still don't nott to know wot it means sactly, aber I think this it be right.

                                    Lucien he only haff laughed becose this person he beed so dumb. Lucien he be SO proud off you und he be verrie happie that he haff such ein schatzi sister. I know becose he haffed telled me this him selve.

                                    Liebschen, I am wanting to schnuffel mit you all die time.

                                    GOOSE: This it be SUCH a verrie good name, I bet your real horsje pferd modder she haff watched Top Gun mannie times und she haff liked this name verrie much, wot it be die reason why she haff called you Goose.

                                    I haff thinked about this for mannie hours und I think you can to do both problemos in one. Tell der Warmblut that you want to go und race mit him wenn your modder she don't nott to be there, und then let your selve out off die stall und go over und race mit him. You know you win und then he haff eated your dust und this it make him to behave. If this it don't nott to work you haff to giff him die finger.

                                    MEIN PUPPIE FRIENDS: I am wishing that all off you can to come und liff mit me at mein howse aber it don't nott to can be this way. I loff you becose I loff all puppies.

                                    PIRATE: You think that this it be wrong that Rebecca she leave for ein while aber this is becose she want you to get bettre. She loff you SO much und she know that you will want to play mit her, aber then your leg it don't nott to get bettre wenn you play. I bist verrie sorrie to hear a-bout your leg, wot it haff happened? Did you haff putted your leg down ein rabbit hole?

                                    I loff bunnies, last year I haff three babie bunnies wot haff be borned in mein howse.

                                    Und this man wot he wear spurs, mebbe you haff to take ein page von Goose's book und giff this man die finger.

                                    Wenn you don't know wot to do, giff die finger. Giffing die finger it be ein verrie big cure all.

                                    PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                                    ------------------------
                                    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      [QUOTE]Originally posted by Willem:

                                      _GOOSE:_ This it be SUCH a verrie good name, I bet your real horsje pferd modder she haff watched Top Gun mannie times und she haff liked this name verrie much, wot it be die reason why she haff called you Goose.

                                      I haff thinked about this for mannie hours und I think you can to do both problemos in one. Tell der Warmblut that you want to go und race mit him wenn your modder she don't nott to be there, und then let your selve out off die stall und go over und race mit him. You know you win und then he haff eated your dust und this it make him to behave. If this it don't nott to work you haff to giff him die finger.

                                      QUOTE]

                                      Well, my name origionally came from the fact that my neck is too big for my body, but this year, a new horse came to the barn, and his name was Maverick! So, we were the Top Gun buddies, but he left [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] . I challenged the Mean Horse to a race, but he pulled a shoe (the sissy, what an excuse!) and hes too sore to be mean. Whitney also let me gallop in the mud today in the schooling ring, we had the ring all to ourselves, what a treat! Except the mud got everywhere, in my ears, in Whitney's mouth, ugh!

                                      PS - Whitney loves Top Gun, she just wishes that Tom Cruise was, 20 years younger... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                                      The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                                      ** Rainmaker **

                                      "So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me." - Coldplay, Shiver
                                      The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                                      ** Rainmaker **

                                      \"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me.\" - Coldplay, Shiver

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                                      • #59
                                        Okay Willem. I am VERY brave. I know I am. I am never looky and I never spook, but today I was scared to death. We were at the horse show walking up to the ring to hack and these two guys were digging a sitch because it had been pouring earlier. They were SOOOOOOOO scary. I spun around and started to canter home, but my mommy was ready. She spun me right back around and kicked my belly really hard, but they were waaaay too scary and so I spun around again, this time adding a little hop to it. So she tried to make me go again, but there was no way I was going near those scary guys (who were by now walking away because they saw how scared I was) but I was still very afraid and I think I hopped up a little too high and the farrier came out and my mommy's trainer came out and they told her to just ride around the barns for a little while. So we trotted around for a while and then I didn't want to canter so she put spurs on me and I had no choice but to canter because spurs are ouchy, but even though they guys are gone, I am afraid that next time I go to the ring that I will be scared again. I love my mommy and wouldn't do anything to hurt her, but I am really scared! Please help me!!


                                        By the way Goosie - I saw you all covered in mud today and it was not very pretty. You have to learn to go AROUND the puddles, not through them! I learned that because I move not very hunter like and splash mud everywhere so you should go around the puddles, but dont act all spooky just drift around them because they aren't scary, trust me I like puddles a lot but I hate being dirty because then I am very ugly. Even though my favorite place to sleep is in the roundpen in all the dust =) And rolling is my favorite thing to do besides buck (but I don't do that very much because people tend to fall off of me when I do that)


                                        I Am The Best Horse Ever and Everyone should already know that!

                                        <3 to all my mares,
                                        Quincy AKA Q-tip AKA Q-ball AKA Perfect Pony (even though I am not a pony)

                                        What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
                                        Someone has a crush on the starter...
                                        Don\'t get mad, get glad!

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                                        • #60
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Best Horse Ever:

                                          By the way Goosie - I saw you all covered in mud today and it was not very pretty. You have to learn to go AROUND the puddles, not through them!

                                          <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                          Quincy - If you had made it up to the ring without spooking you would have realized that everything there is ONE BIG PUDDLE. There is no way I could have jumped that one!

                                          The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                                          ** Rainmaker **

                                          "So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me." - Coldplay, Shiver
                                          The One And Only: WhittiMcD

                                          ** Rainmaker **

                                          \"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me.\" - Coldplay, Shiver

                                          Comment

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