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Update pg 100-Erin sends the thread over the Rainbow Bridge. It had a good life...

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  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

    look at this Masterbates saddle!! Do you think it will fit my thoroughbred it seems a big large??? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Ok, gotta tell this one:

    When I was in grade school, I lived in Greece. Went to an international school, where the school principals are typically called "Headmaster" instead of principal.

    So, if Bob Smith was the "headmaster" you would call him "Master Smith". Well, our principal INSISTED on being called "Master" instead of "Principal", because he thought it made him sound more important (he was a snot).

    What was his last name you ask? Baitor.

    Yep, "Master Baitor".

    He never understood why all the American kids would snicker when they said that...
    FREE TACK/APPAREL ADS: BITS AND BARTER BOARD: http://bitsandbarter.proboards.com/i...ay&thread=5450


    • Well, I keep telling my BNT that if HE would get an "extension," and THEN sleep with the studly judge, we'd all end up on top.
      "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Churchill


      • Wow! I missed a lot while computerless after work yesterday!

        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Holly Jeane, all that needs to happen is a magic hair trim and life will be good. We'll come make Spencer look oh so pretty and Tink (sorry, that's what i'm calling her) gets to start learning, I'll sharpen my cleaver... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

        I'm sure Satinka would prefer that you call her Tink rather than the "Stinka" or "Scruffy" nicknames that I've given her.

        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Holly Jeanne, do you not know ANYTHING?

        Nope, nadda, nothing!

        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> BEFORE going to a dressage show you MUST take him in a parade! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Hmmm, I wonder if there is a parade around here somewhere for the 4th weekend? What the heck, I'll take her sidesaddle. I'm sure my little angel couldn't possibly do anything wrong!

        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Perhaps you should just breed the one you already have and get a new one?

        I am sooooo ahead of you! I've already done that, TWICE! Daydream Farm
        Yup, you heard correctly. I've yanked an OTTB broodmare out of the field and am starting to show her in dressage! I TOLD you I don't know anything! Oh, and she's a RESCUE!

        So Helen, I've got the side reins but wouldn't you prefer draw reins or a nice chambon? Heck, just make your whole bridle out of the bailing twine and save having to actually CLEAN it.

        OK, I've got the Trakehners but I'm not supposed to have the taters. What else goes good with Trakehners? I assume the proper beverage is 'shine, right!? I'm sure I won't have any problems getting that around here.

        So, is ESG still with us? Has she arrived at the bridge? Has she reported back? Inquiring minds want to know!
        Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe


        • P.S. Sorry, can't sleep with the judge. He's booked with other competitors right up until the show.
          Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe


          • Just imagine what DMK will be mumbling when they perform surgery on her hand! In the Nude, Orgasmatron, Rainbow Bridge....they may commit her and then we'll need to change the title again! DMK committed after Really Poorly hand surgery!


            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Lyrical, if we're talking venomous type Double D boobs then sizewise I believe it would be more like Double As </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

              ah, queasy? "boobs" as in dummies, twerps, beyatches, etc...
              Reality is something you rise above -Liza Minnelli


              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by lyrical:
                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Lyrical, if we're talking venomous type Double D boobs then sizewise I believe it would be more like Double As </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                ah, queasy? "boobs" as in dummies, twerps, beyatches, etc... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                Yes, well, I was distracted by efforts to channel dead horses and it didn't sink in. Last night I spoke to Alydar and man was he cussing mad but is having serious fun with Secretariat and Man O' War. He can't wait until certain humans cross over as he will be waiting at the end of the tunnel to kick the $hit out of them.

                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I do I do! I keep telling my BNT that if she would get a boob job, and then sleep with the judge, while wearing her stacked heels, and cutback saddle, I would win next time!!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                I can't tell you how many times this has worked and doing it yourself rather than relying on your BNT (dressage trainers are likely cuter than the majority of ASB ones) is *much* more effective.

                Good luck DMK -- hope your blood alcohol level did not postpone the procedure!
                \"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.\"—George W. Bush


                • Y'all are nucking futs, and I love you for it


                  • Dare I say "Heidi HoHoes?" I believe the sticker-picking dwarfs are about one Heidi HoHo in height.

                    I'm just about to get fired--reading this while typing case interview doesn't compute with my coworkers. I was just asked "why are you crying???"


                    • Yup, page 8 butt pics are by far the best!!!!!


                      • OH my goodness.....we have another "places to ride, vet, barns, farriers in Atlanta" posting....somehow our thread isn't so weird any more....we can just keep repeating and repeating and repeating again. Can someone tell me about BOSS and give me a fly spray recipe?

                        Omo como vey


                        • This is great! But it got me to thinking...

                          Why can't my Miata pull my Brenderup? Do you think I should upgrade to a 4 door sedan? How about sway bars on the Miata...will that help? Maybe my DD boobs are weighing down the car and taking away from it's pulling power?!


                          • Original Poster

                            DMK will not be dispatched over the Rainbow Bridge, but instead to a lesser known place called "The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge" (Courtesy of Fleur and Garcell of TMP)

                            Just this side of Hell is a place called The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge.

                            When an animal dies that has been especially bad behaved to someone here, that pet goes to The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge. There are high fences and heavily locked gates for all of our "special" friends so they can't get out of the yard or release all of their little friends from their own stalls. There are plenty of draw reins, dressage whips and tacked nosebands and our friends are grumpy and irritated.

                            All of the animals who had been good at biting, bucking or kicking are condemned to have a small child pull their tails and ears and grab their weiners for all eternity. Those who hurt or maimed people are used as theraputic riding horses for retarded demons just as we wished for them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are annoyed and regretful except for one small thing; they each miss the person for whom they behaved badly, who was lucky enough to survive them.

                            They all pin their ears and swish their tails together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His vengeful eyes narrow. His pissed off body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the fiery pits and grassless ground, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

                            You have been spotted and when you and your "special" friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. The torrent of swears erupts from your face; your hands again wring in anxiety at the idea of having to deal with the beast, and you look once more into the conniving eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but unfortunately, never absent from your memory.
                            Then you sigh, and jump into the Fiery River together...


                            • i HAD TO POIST HEAR for advISe EVEn THUOH MY FreNDS SAiD THiS WAS A rUDE PLAcE OF sNOBBY pEEPLE.
                              yU ALl THIK yU knOWW IT All.. I wilL NEVER pOST HEAR AGIN AND STAy ON sNAGArIDE WHEAR THEAy arerr nice..r.

                              JustiN Timmmerlike is Kol
                              ReD Raidres Hi rocks
                              Lost InA dReem
                              Red roVer
                              Helocpt Sweat Dreem
                              Jouniers rULE
                              From tHe land of Milk and Huney
                              ***fALLow yur Dreems nO Matter how iMmpossible
                              FUr yu kaN Mik tHEM cUm Treu.....
                              When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                              The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.


                              • Y'all have corrupted me. Things were much milder over at that writers' BB... but the redundancy in postings was just as humorous, and inevitable (e.g., "I've written the Great American Novel, now how do I sell it?;" "My agent's screwing me... what do YOU think???;" "William Morris won't take my calls... should I just show up at their door?").

                                I came here for a respite, and boy-oh-boy, have I gotten an education. I now know what NOT to ask (I've made a list to ward off future temptations).

                                And as for the "Inverness Problem," I'm well-acquainted... try spending 7-1/2 hours in a hard-seated western saddle, traipsing through Yellowstone (UP and DOWN those lovely peaks), WHILE ON THE RAG, and, um, spotting grizzlies. Gorgeous, but... 'nuff said.
                                "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Churchill


                                • Jetsmom, you have TOTALLY lost control


                                  • So I was wondering if those fancy new rubber/plastic shoes would stack well or do I have to use those old fashion steel ones? I'd really like my horse to top out over 18.2 so I could sell him for mucho danaro.....


                                    • OMG, I believe the OP has moved beyond the "IP" and reached her climax with the rendition for equine divine retribution. Please, tell us more about the other circles of hell dear Dante. What about the special place for BNTs who rob and murder customers? The hell hole for vets who inject venom, nerve and sucker punch horses? The freakazoid, hormonal/drunken off-their-meds COTH posters who Just Don't Listen?
                                      \"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.\"—George W. Bush


                                      • OK, since I am going to the fiery river place, NOW can I have some venom and resepine before we go?

                                        Queasy - today's visit will hopefully just be to determine if we need a "procedure". I'm still holding out for soft, removable type brace, myself.
                                        Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.


                                        • Helen - you need to read the new topic of "the Great BB Experiment" on Off Course and come back and tell us the analysis of this thread