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WILLEM: for Le Duc!

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  • WILLEM: for Le Duc!

    Mein little Ducster, now you be fourteen months old! Und becose your life wot it be being ein daddy horsje, here be der instructiones.

    Mein selve I haff all ways finded mares wot they be ein different species. Kind off like Arabians. Mannie time they don't nott to know iffen they be coming or going. There be this man called Reggie Mate wot he come and talk to them some times und tell them to get mit der program aber usually this it usually don't nott to work.

    Mares wot they haff baby horse eggs in their virginia. The virginia it haff opening under der tail in der middleburg between butt cheeks. Wenn you be going to make baby horse wot it be like this. You look at mare und say "Hallo mein schatzi, do you want ein poke?" Mares wot they loff to haff ein poke.

    You should be doing this mit der bodyguard wot also be called handler. Becose other wise mares they come after you und they want to haff relationship und they want to marry you und they want you to buy them mannie things und share your karroten mit you. Und this it be wrong.

    Any ways, wenn you ask her if she want ein poke, die mare she right a-way will sticken her tail up und say "JA, JA, JA, JA, JA!!!" Just like wenn Meg Ryan haff beed in der delicatessen on Wenn Harry Meeted Sally. Then it be time to giff her ein poke. You get behind her und jump on her sitzen und putt der spankmonkey in der virgina. Der spankmonkey it all ready know that you be doing this und it be stiffy. Die mare she haff dreams then von shopping und credit cards wot you pay der bill for.

    Der spankmoney for like some time in between ten seconds und ein hour (mein wot it be ein hour), it work und then it start to tickle. It feel like toe part von your hoofes they curl und you scream "AY CARAMBA!!!" Your tail it whip up und down.

    Then you haff organism, get off die mare, go home und go to sleep. Some times they want to haff cigarette aber der best thing to do is loff them und leave them.

    Und then wenn you haff doed this, baby dust it haff comed out off your spankmonkey und it go to der baby horse eggs, und then ein few weeks later die mare she get verrie fat und then one morning she wake up und there be ein baby horse in her howse. This it means she haff folded.

    Iffen you don't want to haff no baby, you haff poke in ein condominium. Und some times der chaperone they let you practice mounting wenn you use AI machine, wot it also be called Hoochie Bucket. Then they sell baby dust for mannie dollares und put der money in die karroten fund.

    You all ways haff to say "please" und "danke schon." Becose it be verrie muy importante to be ein gentleman.

    Loff Willem.

    ------------------------
    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

    [This message was edited by Willem on Apr. 17, 2003 at 12:36 AM.]
    ------------------------
    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
  • Original Poster

    #2
    Mein little Ducster, now you be fourteen months old! Und becose your life wot it be being ein daddy horsje, here be der instructiones.

    Mein selve I haff all ways finded mares wot they be ein different species. Kind off like Arabians. Mannie time they don't nott to know iffen they be coming or going. There be this man called Reggie Mate wot he come and talk to them some times und tell them to get mit der program aber usually this it usually don't nott to work.

    Mares wot they haff baby horse eggs in their virginia. The virginia it haff opening under der tail in der middleburg between butt cheeks. Wenn you be going to make baby horse wot it be like this. You look at mare und say "Hallo mein schatzi, do you want ein poke?" Mares wot they loff to haff ein poke.

    You should be doing this mit der bodyguard wot also be called handler. Becose other wise mares they come after you und they want to haff relationship und they want to marry you und they want you to buy them mannie things und share your karroten mit you. Und this it be wrong.

    Any ways, wenn you ask her if she want ein poke, die mare she right a-way will sticken her tail up und say "JA, JA, JA, JA, JA!!!" Just like wenn Meg Ryan haff beed in der delicatessen on Wenn Harry Meeted Sally. Then it be time to giff her ein poke. You get behind her und jump on her sitzen und putt der spankmonkey in der virgina. Der spankmonkey it all ready know that you be doing this und it be stiffy. Die mare she haff dreams then von shopping und credit cards wot you pay der bill for.

    Der spankmoney for like some time in between ten seconds und ein hour (mein wot it be ein hour), it work und then it start to tickle. It feel like toe part von your hoofes they curl und you scream "AY CARAMBA!!!" Your tail it whip up und down.

    Then you haff organism, get off die mare, go home und go to sleep. Some times they want to haff cigarette aber der best thing to do is loff them und leave them.

    Und then wenn you haff doed this, baby dust it haff comed out off your spankmonkey und it go to der baby horse eggs, und then ein few weeks later die mare she get verrie fat und then one morning she wake up und there be ein baby horse in her howse. This it means she haff folded.

    Iffen you don't want to haff no baby, you haff poke in ein condominium. Und some times der chaperone they let you practice mounting wenn you use AI machine, wot it also be called Hoochie Bucket. Then they sell baby dust for mannie dollares und put der money in die karroten fund.

    You all ways haff to say "please" und "danke schon." Becose it be verrie muy importante to be ein gentleman.

    Loff Willem.

    ------------------------
    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

    [This message was edited by Willem on Apr. 17, 2003 at 12:36 AM.]
    ------------------------
    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

    Comment


    • #3
      Oh Mein Gott in Himmel!!

      Suddenly, everything has become so much clearer. No wonder there's a Virginia clique!!

      ***Dear Easter Bunny: All I really want in my goody basket is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***
      Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

      Comment


      • #4
        Well I am just gobstopped.

        Woodinville is NOT the Middleburg of Washington State.

        Willem I will let you recover then you haff to offer your words of wisdom to filly what be looken for ein studmuffin.

        _\\]
        -- * > hoopoe
        The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.
        _\\]
        -- * > hoopoe
        Procrastinate NOW
        Introverted Since 1957

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm just grateful that dear Willem posted this before I left for the World cup so I didn't have to wait until Sunday night to be enlightened.

          But Willem, dearest, I think you need to tell him how to court a schatzi and make her like him for more than just the 10 seconds, and also how important it is to keep work and loff separate.
          "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Portia! OMGiH!!! I haff made sure that I haff putted muy importante stuff on der www right wenn he becomed fourteen months old. I don't nott to can do it all in like uno hour becose it be Wednesday night und I haff to go watch Law Und Order in like fifteen minutos.

            Der 10 seconds it be like for junior hengsten wot they don't haff no baseball statisticos to be thinking a-bout. Mannie times you don't nott to want to be doing this so long any ways becose then die mare wot she be spending too much time thinking a-bout how mebbe you be paying her credit card bills.

            ------------------------
            I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
            ------------------------
            I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

            Comment


            • #7
              Willem, you just made me spit my breakfast all over the screen. Your instructive talents are supreme, and Le Duc will, I'm sure, be forever grateful.

              ---------------------------
              This too, shall pass.
              If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
              Desmond Tutu

              Comment


              • #8
                Cousin Willem,
                You, as always, have provided the most enlightening instructions to LeDuc! I now know why mares always want to stick their fannies in my face - they want me to pay their credit card bills and "this it be wrong." Thanks for the tip!!
                Loff
                Cousin Woody

                Comment


                • #9
                  HULLO EVERYBODY!

                  It's my birfday!!!! I am 14 months old andandandand I am finally a FULL GROWN DADDY HORSE andandand I CAN MAKE FOLDEDS! I am going to start right away with the little white pony who lives down the aisle from me.

                  HAHAHAHA

                  I AM THE DEVIL'S pony with lightning in my hooves, twigs in my teeth and baby dust on my spankmonkey. HAHAHAHAHA. I will break all the fillies hearts, just like Herr Papa Willem Daddy! They will all cry large tears when I walk by... and I will have GROUPIES!!!

                  IS EVERYONE COMING TO MY PARTY!? I will have loud music and surfing. I will have lotslotslots of Karrotten with special OAT DIP (the chunky kind) and we will PARTY till the weeweewee hours!

                  And all you cutie fillies are invited to come by ... YIPPEE

                  (Psssst. Herr Papa Willem ... are you SURE you got this right? I didn't want to say anything in front of everybody, because I didn't want to embarrass you. But I don't think this is right ... it sounds really gross. Andandand I loff Mama Coreene ... I don't think this is right. I don't want to put my spankmonkey to Virginia.)

                  Le Duc de Willem
                  (but you can call me Duc-ster)

                  [This message was edited by Le Duc on Apr. 17, 2003 at 08:00 AM.]
                  Le Duc de Willem
                  (but you can call me Duc-ster)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    First, Happy Birfday Ducster.

                    Second, my dear Willem, you certainly have a way with words. And now I have no desire ever to go to Viriginia again!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Willem, once again your words of wisdom have made my day!!

                      You reign supreme, Surfer Dude!

                      Laurie
                      Laurie

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ah, Willem.

                        Ah, Le Duc-ster.

                        So many schatzis.

                        SO little time.

                        If only Willem had been able to 'splain all this to Sigmund Freud, the entire WORLD would be a better place to live.

                        I am sincerely and entirely grateful that this, our generation, has been able to benefit from this eternal wisdom.

                        NOW I KNOW who is actually whispering the answers to the little guy who sits up on the top of the mountain, in that cave.

                        Of course--it turns out to be a horse!

                        Yet another reason to frequent the COTH BB, and yet another reason why WILLEM was voted COTH BB HOTY.

                        How lucky we are...
                        one oak, lots of canyons

                        http://horsesportnews.wordpress.com/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Well Im 30 years old and after reading that Im glad I never let any stalliondaddy check out my virginia. humf, but they do say that virigina is for lovers?!

                          [This message was edited by Spongebob Squarepants on Jul. 02, 2003 at 10:36 AM.]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Willem:
                            Hoochie Bucket
                            <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            EIIIWWWWW!!!!

                            One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
                            - Will Durant


                            One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
                            - Will Durant

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Old Nag Dreamer:
                              Well Im 30 years old and after reading that Im glad I never let any stalliondaddy check out my virginia. humf, but they do say that virigina is for lovers?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                              Yes, that could be another way of looking at it... Thanks to Willem, whenever I hear the word Virginia (which is also where I live) I will never think of the place, only of the object...

                              Horsey folks are stable people

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                umm, is anyone else totally 'out of the loop' here???

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #17
                                  Mein little Ducster, you don't nott to can do this until you be THREE YEARS OLD. Und you don't nott to can do this un less you be doing it to make baby horse or iffen you be in ein condominium. Wenn you do this in ein condominium, this it be called Burst Control und it mean you don't nott to haff baby then.

                                  Mannie peoples they make little horse babies wot don't nott not haff no beeswax being here becose we all ready haff mannie horses in der world. Und zo iffen you be making ein baby horse you can to only do this mit ein bodyguard. Iffen more horses they doed this only mit bodyguard, und only wenn it beed ein perfecto match, then mebbe places like New Holland und slaughterhowse they goed out off bizness.

                                  ------------------------
                                  I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                                  ------------------------
                                  I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Dere Starlite, hallo. Mein name it be Willem und I be ein Hannoveraner wallach gelding und mein selve I haff beed posting here for ein long time.

                                    ------------------------
                                    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                                    ------------------------
                                    I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      And he also knows everything, as he will certainly remember to tell you.

                                      Knows, and has opinions on!

                                      Laurie
                                      Laurie

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Le Ducster,

                                        Willem is mein boy friend eben tho his cajones be in his character. Aber he forgot to tell you if you be stickin you nose in de general area of virginia when de schatzis hasn't giben you de sign you will get der knee caps broken

                                        I will tell you the sign aber you seem to be a nice boy aber you are to young for me. Der sign dat de schatzis is ready to make de babies it be when they raise de flag und sprinkle de flowers

                                        I be en SWB filly und I be looken for en boy friend
                                        I be en SWB filly und I be looken for en boy friend

                                        Comment

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