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Willem, you got some 'splaining to do!

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  • Willem, you got some 'splaining to do!

    I went down to the barn this am. What a mess! There was tequilla laced alfalfa stewn in the parking lot, bags from Jack's Surf shop all over the place, Santana blaring on the CD player. Outside of Dorina's stall there was an ostrich skin Tony Lama boot that looks like it had been trampled by a herd of elephants. In her water bucket there was a g-string with a big carrot on it and in the shavings I found many shredded real estate listings for condominiums that had all been printed on foil. What is up with that?

    Dorina is bleary eyed and not talking much, except to say that there will be no dressage today. Oh and she now has a pink rhinestone browband, which she insists that I put on her bridle before I ride her again I am so not into the sparkly stuff. I am just a traditionalist (ie into leather).

    Thanks loads, now all guys at the barn are mad because they didn't sleep last night. Dorina won't do her job. She had the nerve to demand more jewelery and alka seltzer before she started snoring again.
    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.
  • Original Poster

    #2
    I went down to the barn this am. What a mess! There was tequilla laced alfalfa stewn in the parking lot, bags from Jack's Surf shop all over the place, Santana blaring on the CD player. Outside of Dorina's stall there was an ostrich skin Tony Lama boot that looks like it had been trampled by a herd of elephants. In her water bucket there was a g-string with a big carrot on it and in the shavings I found many shredded real estate listings for condominiums that had all been printed on foil. What is up with that?

    Dorina is bleary eyed and not talking much, except to say that there will be no dressage today. Oh and she now has a pink rhinestone browband, which she insists that I put on her bridle before I ride her again I am so not into the sparkly stuff. I am just a traditionalist (ie into leather).

    Thanks loads, now all guys at the barn are mad because they didn't sleep last night. Dorina won't do her job. She had the nerve to demand more jewelery and alka seltzer before she started snoring again.
    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

    Comment


    • #3
      Dere Mrs Dorina's Modder,

      I don't nott to can say mannie things to you right at this momento. Der Herr Mr Policeman he be standing outside mein howse und I haff to talk mit him first und mein kopf it be schmertzing verrie mucho.

      Loff Willem.

      ------------------------
      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
      ------------------------
      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

      Comment


      • #4
        To quote Willem,

        "I am loffing this"

        Waaaaahaaaaahaaaaaa.

        Oh goodness you made my day! Too funny.

        The adventure has begun...
        KT
        "For God hates utterly
        The bray of bragging tongues."
        Sophocles, Antigone Spoken by the Leader of the Chorus of Theban Elders

        Comment


        • #5
          *chuckle* *chuckle* *giggle* *giggle*


          Thats hilarious...so I'm not the only one who manifests my horses into humans T hank goodness...thought I was loosing it!

          ~~Sarah~~
          *The Purple Princess*
          Proud member of the Indiana Clique...There's more than corn in Indiana...
          ~Sarah~
          The Purple Princess
          www.geocities.com/idyllinc/home.html

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Well, Willem

            All I can say is I hope you didn't drive home.

            The quarter horse down the aisle from Dorina has a great concoction for kopfs that are schmertzing. He should know, his name is Cuervo. One raw egg, tabasco to taste, a handful of salt, a can of Corona, a pint of carrot juice and one large scoop of pellets.

            Dorina asked me to tell you that she can't meet you this weekend. I have taken her trailer keys and cell phone away.

            I will speak to you later.
            See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

            Comment


            • #7
              Herr Mr Policeman he haff putted handcuffs on me for ein while. There haff beed ein trail mit horse blankets all die way von Dorina her howse to mein howse, aber I don't nott to know any thing a-bout it. There haff beed condominiums aber they haff beed balloons. Rufus he haff throwed up twice in der barn aisle, Barney he still be passed out there, Echo he don't nott to be sober yet und mein friend Peanut, wot he beed Presbyterian becose he beed Shetlandaisch, he haff converted to Judaism.

              Mein selve I don't nott to know nuthin' a-bout it.

              Aber I can to tell you now that I don't nott to be going to Dorina her howse for a verrie long time. At one time she haff beed so wild she haff doed their dance von Lily Von Schtupp, der Teutonic Titwillow von Blazing Saddles.

              OMGiH.

              Loff Willem.

              ------------------------
              I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
              ------------------------
              I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

              Comment


              • #8
                Willem...please tell me you're doing a book soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're the best!!!!!!!!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Missy nhwr,

                  You better be tellin dat hussy Dorina she better not be messin wid mein boyfriend Willem.

                  Aber I stayed up all night getting sloshed und it be spring break un I be goin to de "Fillies Gone Wild" video taping. I'm gonna be a star und den Willem will be soooooo in loff wid me

                  I be en SWB filly und I be looken for en boy friend
                  I be en SWB filly und I be looken for en boy friend

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Willem,

                    If you can't remember much of the evening, the barn cam got most of it on tape, until O Ye Como Va anyway. Then someone's big red booty knocked the camera off line. I'll be sending the bill for that along. Dorina is going to split the repair of the jaccuzi filter with you since it was clogged with black and red hair. There is a $50 fine for the bubble bath in the spa too but she said that was all your idea. Do you want me to send the bill to Coreene or to your coffee can?

                    Arielle,

                    I can't say exactly if Dorina has been "messin" with Willem or not. Circumstances seem to point to it, but she isn't talking. But this might be a good time to make your move. Dorina is on big time restriction (Please, my wallet can't take anymore).

                    [This message was edited by nhwr on May. 06, 2003 at 08:56 PM.]
                    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dere Mrs NHWR,

                      Mebbe you can to tell Dorina that I didn't nott to haff doed no thing un-toward mit her, I haff just giffed her kusjes.

                      She haff sayed die Jaccuzi it beed water jump. She haff screamed "THIS IT BE LIKE BADMINTON UND I BE PRINCESS ANNE, WATCH MEIN SELVE!" und she haff jumped in und zo I haff jumped in alzo.

                      Mit der money I be telling you that der check wot it be in die mail.

                      Loff Willem.

                      ------------------------
                      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.
                      ------------------------
                      I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        Rest assured, Willem, Dorina isn't complaining about a thing

                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Mit der money I be telling you that der check wot it be in die mail.

                        Loff Willem.

                        ------------------------
                        I haff sayed this be fore, I be ein German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                        I think you have been co-opted. This sounds very American to me
                        See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                        Comment

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