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Do horses masturbate?

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  • #61
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> it was possible that the gelding was a cryptorchid <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I actually had a question about this. Can you visibly tell the difference between a horse which is a cryptorchid versus having been gelded? How (besides maybe testosterone levels) can you tell the difference? Marks from stitches? Any other ways?


    • #62
      you know, my boys provided SexEd 101 for my daughter several years ago.

      She came home one day in tears, and I asked what was wrong (she would have been around 9 or 10 years old at the time) and she said a boy on the bus asked her if she had started masturbating yet, and asked me what masturbating meant (and at that point, I could have bloody well have killed the stupid boy for putting me in the position of having to explain this to my daughter!)

      I'm thinking "SH&!" and then I remembered.

      I said - "Do you remember what Spotty and Yukon do when they're standing outside in the sun, snoozing, and their Phwuwu comes down and they start lifting it up and down against their stomachs?" and she looks at me and says "Yes", and I said - "well boys and male animals do that and that is what masturbating is - it gives them pleasure" and she took one look at me and burst out laughing so thank God for the boys at that moment - they saved me from having to use human analogies to describe what it was!

      But yes - I believe the figure for stallions is much higher than 6 times a day - Sato doesnt seem to do it a whole lot more than 6 or so times each day, but Spotty and Yukon were definately WAY up there!



      • #63


        I am dying from that!! HAHAHAHA

        Aiden's web page.. DOING GREAT!!

        Don't take your organs to Heaven; Heaven knows we need them here.



        • #64
          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Willem:
          I don't nott to unnerstand wot it be der problemo mit this.

          Oh Mein Gott in Himmel!!! HAHAHA!!!

          I haven't laughed that hard in long time!


          • #65
            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HFSH:
            used to spank his monkey several times a day if he was bored. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

            Oh geez

            I've only see this once.. with a stallion.. at a huge show... and i was holding him and.. eek

            "Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."-Invisible Monsters
            \"If you\'re a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.\"-Deep thoughts by Jack Handy


            • #66
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spot:
              and their Phwuwu comes down !

              I am having real trouble figuring out how to pronounce "Phwuwu"..... Is it f'WU-wu ?

              I CAN spell, I just can't type and I am too blind to proofread InfoPop's teeny tiny font.
              "He lives in a cocoon of solipsism"

              Charles Krauthammer speaking about Trump


              • #67
                Its done with a whistling sound Lord Helpus (!) with the first note higher than the second

                You need everything possible in your repertoire when you have kids, you know!



                • #68
                  Phwuwu? What the......
                  Girls are so much easier. We have whoo-ha's. Easier to spell and easier to pronounce.

                  I've got to go... this technical talk is making my head spin.

                  My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.


                  • #69
                    When this thread dies down it HAS to go into the classic thread forum, this is SO funny!

                    GO MARINES!!!!!!!! OORAH!!!
                    Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                    An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .


                    • #70
                      Wow. I'm speechless. And thanking the good Lord that I've never had the, uhhh, privilege, of witnessing this.
                      Whoda thunk it ... LOL.

                      Be careful to whom you lend your shirt if you have a tendency to wear your heart upon your sleeve.
                      Full-time bargain hunter.


                      • #71
                        Oh. My. Gosh.

                        I will never be able to look at my gelding in the same way again...!

                        I've never seen a horse do this! I may just be naive though...lol. The only thing (that I've seen! Now who knows what goes on when I've left...) I've seen Cruz do is, ehm, when he lets it all hang loose when I leave him in the crossties too long...he knows that doing that will convince me to put him up quickly! lol.

                        formerly Graciousness*
                        Dream as if you'll live forever
                        Live as if you'll die today.
                        \"I\'m looking for a dare to be great situation\"- John Cusack


                        • #72
                          There was a pony gelding and mare at the barn I used to work at that used to get their jollies together.
                          He was most definitely gelded, but he would go the full distance quite happily, to the point of anointing the ground under the mare's hooves. (She had a huge butt, so he couldn't get all the way up there.)
                          I was freaked out when it first happened, but the barn owner informed me that he'd been doing this for years.
                          Glad none of my geldings ever did it, I would have been scarred for life!


                          He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

                          Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly


                          • #73
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cruising:
                            All I've seen Cruz do is, ehm, when he lets it all hang loose when I leave him in the crossties too long...he knows that doing that will convince me to put him up quickly! lol.


                            The guy I partboard does that too. lol Little bugger knows how to make me hurry up. Thankfully I have yet to see a horse "spank the monkey" and hopefully, God willing, it will stay that way.

                            MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.

                            SCULLY: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.

                            bombs away is your punishment/pulverize the eiffel towers/who criticize your government


                            • #74
                              Just to keep this thread "educational," I believe cryptorchid is when one of the testicles does not descend. My only basis for this knowledge is that I used to work for a small animal vet, and we charged more to neuter a cryptorchid. As far as I know, the only way to tell is to get in there surgically and determine the (ahem) "goods" are not down where they belong. Hence a more complicated (and expensive) procedure to retrieve them.

                              But I'm not sure...hopefully someone can correct me if I'm wrong!

                              This whole thread has me ROTFLOL! It's hysterical that we're all so bashful about horse "appendages," whereas the horses themselves could care less...and probably think WE are very strange creatures for making them "put it away!"

                              I must add my dearly-departed mare to the "hussy" list. She had been a broodmare for nearly 10 years, & was a TB having race-bred babies...so live cover only. She was, well...a PRO. All a stallion had to do was LOOK at her, and she'd be spread out & peeing. Geldings, on the other hand, didn't usually "do it for her." She was an educated woman who knew the real deal!


                              • #75

                                Hey, notice how it's almost all male horses who do this? hm.....


                                *~Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.*~
                                You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?


                                • #76
                                  I remember when I was about 10 showing a large pony who much to my horror dropped out right before we went in the ring for the jog. I smacked his stomach with my crop several times and I remember it flopping while we jogged. Then right as I proceeded to get my ribbon, he, for lack of a better word, splooged. No lie...not one of my favorite stories but he was a cute pony!

                                  - L.

                                  Je suis un salamander. J'entrerai dans le feu mais je ne brûlerai pas.


                                  • #77
                                    The QH mare I was riding last year used to get this really hopeful look on her face and get excited when I brushed her tail... LOL

                                    How would a mare go about masturbating anyway? I mean, what is there to rub on? Fenceposts can't feel good.... uzzled:

                                    ~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~
                                    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

                                    My CANTER blog.


                                    • #78
                                      Oh Goldentoes - you havent been around much, have you?!

                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>How would a mare go about masturbating anyway? I mean, what is there to rub on? Fenceposts can't feel good.... uzzled <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                      Well - my one mare is as close to a nymphomaniac as I think I have ever come across.

                                      Going in vaginally to do a saline flush, or take a culture on her, she will start pumping and humping your hand when it is in there. Very nice

                                      I will never forget year before last, we bred her for 22-23 days in a row. Each day we took her by Spot, and each day she'd spread her legs and pee up a storm. As he approached to mount her she'd be peeing and gyrating her hips towards him to be bred.
                                      On Day 23, I thought - this is ridiculous - get the vet to ultrasound her to let me know what the heck is going on in there. He come out of there with a very puzzled look and said - "When was the last time you covered her"
                                      "About 3 hours ago", I said.

                                      "And she stood for him?"

                                      "Oh yes" I said "Did her usual thing of peeing like crazy and shoved her bum right at him when he got close to her".

                                      "Thats funny" he said - "she doesnt even have a follicle IN there, let alone one that she is ready to be bred on!"

                                      I have never had a mare like her before and never one since. If there is such a thing as a nymphomaniac mare - she's certainly it!

                                      So yes - mares DO masturbate too!



                                      • #79
                                        LOL Belen my gelding does the same thing And after a grooming i might add to....



                                        *My webshots*


                                        • #80
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by goldentoes:

                                          How would a mare go about masturbating anyway? I mean, what is there to rub on? Fenceposts can't feel good.... uzzled:

                                          I used to race a mare that would spend hours bumping and grinding against the stall wall. She was a horrid thing to work with, perpetually in heat, but she actually had cystic ovaries, and this was in the days before assorted injections, etc to alleviate the problems.

                                          Also, way back when, every stable had a brush for for horses and geldings that did the belly beat. The brush was a fairly stiff long bristled scrub brush attached to a strap that passed around the offender's flank, and buckled with the brush right where the offender would whack his hootis against it.

                                          Since I do not belong to a clique, I am now the founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!
                                          Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

                                          Member: Incredible Invisbles