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Do horses masturbate?

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  • Coming into this veeery late-Have to admit, I was horrified and fascinated, doing the whole reading with one hand over the eyes thing, and hoping to god nobody walked in and saw what I was reading!!!

    Anyhow, my friend used to work with Standardbreds at the track. One day when we came in to visit some of the horses she was working with, there's her young colt, standing with his butt to the door, rhytmically kicking himself (lightly) We look at one another, quite puzzled, as we aren't sure what he's doing. Into the stall we go, and both slowly back out, as we realise, that he's spankin the monster in his stall. They tried everything to get him to stop, even tied a wire BBQ brush to his belly, but he managed to get around it. From that day on, his nickname at the barn was Tha Masta Bata

    Unofficial Founder of the Tall People Clique! Member of the Klutz Klique, Member of the Thread Killer's Clique!

    "Does anybody know how the story really goes or do we all just hum along?"
    -Stone Temple Pilots
    ~**Unofficial founder of the Tall People Clique**~

    Member of the Klutz Klique, Thread Killer\'s Clique, and the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

    \"Private Pyle-What is your major malfunction?!\"
    -Full Metal Jacket


    • A friend of mine has a STB also that wears a stud brush. If he doesn't he will just stand there all day ignoring his feed and hay but with a smile on his face.

      He was losing weight so it was either happy skinny boy or not so happy healthy boy.


      • All of a sudden, cribbing doesn't look so awful.

        (actually, this thread has been very educational, not to mention stress-releaving. I mean, how many of us breathed a sigh of relief when we realized our geldings are somewhat normal, after all???)

        He's not really a pony, and I'm really not "pony aged" either.
        "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

        Spay and neuter. Please.


        • Ain'tNoFoolin - my mother's Betta's (the fish) name is Masta Betta.

          This NEEDS to go in the Favorites area...

          - L.

          Je suis un salamander. J'entrerai dans le feu mais je ne brûlerai pas.


          • I have to add my funny story to this thread: One day, everyone was joking around and mentioned how funny it would be if Joy (a mare at the barn) had babies and how she would be such a good mother. Well, Joy overheard us, and she didn't realize we were kidding. The next day, which was a horse show, she tried to flirt WHENVEVER she saw a gelding. Joy had never done that before, and everyone was quite embarrased. We decided that we would never bring that topic up again, and she's been fine ever since...

            When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, there's a new life about to start when tomorrow comes


            • Its funny too how some stallons have their sexual preferences or they simply will not perform.

              Spot Pocket wasnt fond of bay mares in the beginning. When we were trying to collect him, you could stand a bay mare next to the phantom (even if she was in full raging heat), and he would show mild interest, if at all.
              Then - we'd bring out a chestnut mare, that just happened to be in foal (so showing NO signs at all!) and he dropped and got the job done lickety split!
              he got better in subsequent years, but chestnut mares were always his favorites.

              I have also heard of stallions that were so bad with certain colored mares, that for live cover, you'd need to bring the chestnut mare in tease, and as he was getting ready to mount, take her away and substitute the bay mare and by then, it was too late - he was so raring to go - he never noticed (or cared about!) the switch being done.

              One SB stallion where we collect, will not collect off the phantom - he needs to be collected off a live mare, and usually one wont do it either. He needs to have 2 mares on either side of him to get him sufficiently aroused to get the job done. THAT is tricky - because you need two handlers for the 2 mares, one for the stallion and one holding the AV. So while the mares both have breeding hobbles on them and are twitched, you have an awful lot of people and horses in a very small space during a very vulnerable time ...

              One of the stallions also is very prone to falling over once he is done breeding, so you also need to be sure as you are holding the AV that you are able to skeddaddle out of there in a hurry if he goes to fall over.

              NO wonder these stallion managers have a lot of broken bones!



              • Now imagine that you have a really nice stallion, and a really nice mare, and they are both 'virgins' ...

                We were smart enough to get an experienced handler to come hold the stallion during this exercise, but I had teased and cleaned him myself, and then was the mare handler...

                Unbelievably, all goes well ... UNTIL ... the deed is done, the boy looks exhausted, and he can't figure out how to get down .... fell off sideways, kersplat ::OUCH:: (he never did that again)

                So, Spot, I need to thank you for telling that story! I thought for years he was the only horse who had ever had quite that sort of dismount
                Mal:This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then .... explode


                • yes..about every 1.5hrs.

                  AWS Elite Stallion - Manahawk
                  2002 AWS Gold Medal Novice Award
                  Cool Breeze Farm, LLC
                  For Sale: Well used rain cloud that follows me around..will trade for a lemonade stand!


                  • My old trainer tried to "help" a stallion who was just a hair short on a mare once, and as soon as she touched "it" he lost his Hmm Hmm and jumped down and pouted in a corner... He was really offended and "Not in the mood" after that!!!

                    Here are the Devilpups!!

                    GO MARINES!!!!!!!! OORAH!!!
                    Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                    An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .


                    • I hope I don't regret posting this, but asking my somewhat cute male vet would be too weird.

                      My horse doesn't really do any of the behaviors listed here, etc but he drops it about 75% of the time when I'm around. According to others and from what I've observed, he doesn't do this unless I'm with him. What does this mean?

                      (I'll run for the hills now! )

                      You can't dance and stay uptight
                      You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith


                      • So, how long until this thread ends up in the Favorites section?


                        You put on the leather pants and the pants start telling you what to do. -Bono


                        • You all jinxed me!!!

                          My poor gelding has never gotten -erm- *excited* before- at least not around me. But on Saturday, at a show, I had him in one hand, and a mare I was catch riding was right next to me (facing him). He was curling up his lip, and I thought it was cute (he's very mouthy, and CONSTANTLY chewing on things, cribbing, lipping things, licking things, and playing with his lips). I'm standing there poking his inside out lip and talking to him, when suddenly he grunts and half parks. I peeked under his belly and nearly peed my pants. I was so embarassed! We had to go for a nice, long walk AWAY from all the other horses. I had to steer him clear of that mare all day. He is such a dweeb...

                          (hehe, I spent several uncomfortable minutes trying to explain to non-horsey parents who witnessed the spectacle that it was merely my stupid horse not getting the message he was a GELDING, and NO there was nothing wrong with him...)


                          *Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups*


                          • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SoEasy:
                            Unbelievably, all goes well ... UNTIL ... the deed is done, the boy looks exhausted, and he can't figure out how to get down .... fell off sideways, kersplat ::OUCH:: (he never did that again)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            LOL. My stallion's first few live breedings were similar. He couldn't quite figure out where to put himself and needed some help in that department (thankfully, he wasn't shy; just grateful!). Then, when the deed was done, he would just sit up there and look at me with a "now what?" expression on his face.

                            I tried pushing back on his knees to encourage him to dismount which didn't work. So, I held the lead close to and told the mare handler to walk the mare forward.

                            Monty just hobbles behind her! We went quite a way the first time before he slid off. It took about 6 breedings of the same before he finally figured it out.


                            Royal Oak Sporthorses

                            Go Kings!!!
                            Royal Oak Sporthorses
                            Dutch Warmbloods & British Sporthorses.


                            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Celtic Witch:
                              Monty just hobbles behind her! We went quite a way the first time before he slid off.

                              And doesn't that just sound like a guy!

                              ***Dear Sam: All I really want for my birthday is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***
                              Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!


                              • Dressager, I used to work with a gelding who would do the same thing. My boss told me it was because he liked me. Not like liked, but that he enjoyed how gentle my hands were and it relaxed him.
                                So take it as a compliment and don't get too freaked out about it.


                                He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

                                Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly


                                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beezer:
                                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Celtic Witch:
                                  Monty just hobbles behind her! We went quite a way the first time before he slid off.

                                  And doesn't that just sound like a guy!

                                  _***Dear Sam: All I really want for my birthday is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***_ <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                  Is he snoring?


                                  • I just recently got a gelding. My SO says "oh great, now you're going to get smacked on the head with his thingy when you're putting wraps on his legs. Why'd you get a gelding? He'll be slonging that thing around everywhere."

                                    I couldn't believe this comment! But,,,, yesterday, the horse is masterbating in the crossties. I was in the tack room and could see him. He put it away when I came back. Guess my boyfriend knows more then I give him credit for. ) Guys. They're the same no matter what species.

                                    ~~Every year the senseless slaughtering of millions just for their hides. Poor little Nagas.~~
                                    Stoneybrook Farm Afton TN


                                    • Monstr is not anywhere near any version of remotely shy, if you get my drift. Has it out all the time, any excuse will do. And his is, umm, larger than your average.... This is a little--umm--difficult when I have visitors who don't know much about horses. Most are polite, and try to ignore it. Luckily, most of the kids have been too young to notice. But, I have, on more than one occasion, when asked, replied that "that" is why horsewomen have some difficulty taking men very seriously.

                                      He's not really a pony, and I'm really not "pony aged" either.
                                      "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

                                      Spay and neuter. Please.


                                      • I couldn't read this until today. Well, I could have, but hubby was usually in the same room. He would not understand. This thread MUST be saved to Favorites, and blocked for young children! Some replys are just too funny. Have to have been there to understand.

                                        Older is just a state of mind. Where is mine?
                                        Life is great when you can hug a horse.


                                        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sketcher:
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beezer:
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Celtic Witch:
                                          Monty just hobbles behind her! We went quite a way the first time before he slid off.

                                          And doesn't that just sound like a guy!

                                          _***Dear Sam: All I really want for my birthday is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***_ <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                          Is he snoring? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                          Oh jeez. After he's covered, he can barely make the walk back to his stable where he promptly lies down to go to sleep. I have to prod and poke him to get at his legs in order to remove his freakin' boots.

                                          The first time, my husband offered him a fag and scotch for afters.

                                          Royal Oak Sporthorses
                                          Dutch Warmbloods & British Sporthorses.