At just 26 years old, Laine Ashker has already had a full eventing career. She’s competed in England and Hong Kong and headed down centerline at the Rolex Kentucky CCI**** on four different horses.

But she’s also endured an unusual amount of heartbreak and controversy—her horse Eight Saint James Place died after rupturing an abdominal blood vessel at the finish of cross-country at Jersey Fresh (N.J.) in 2007, and she lost Frodo Baggins in a rotational fall at Rolex Kentucky the following year. But Ashker’s now back on the rise again with Anthony Patch, who finished 14^th at his first four-star this spring.

Q. How did you first get involved with horses?

A. Basically I was bred to do horses. My mom rode with me until she was seven months pregnant. My aunt made her special riding britches and a special vest.

I got my first pony when I was 3. He looked like a yak. He was out of a field of ponies from a dude ranch, and I said, “That’s the one I want!”

That pony took me to novice championships. My next pony was Noah’s Ark. I Pony Clubbed through my C-3, and then I started doing more events than rallies.

Q. Who is your favorite event horse of all time?

A. I’ve always been a fan of Murphy Himself. Dr. Peaches is the other. Another favorite is Trans Amaflirt, one of [my coach] Buck [Davidson’s] horses. My first four-star horse, Eight Saint James Place was exactly like Trans Amaflirt; he was such a go-getter.

Jaime will go down in history as the one who taught me everything I know. I look back and think, “Gosh if I had him now and knew what I know now, that horse could do anything.” And of course, my Frodo.

My boys are tattooed on my wrists: A New Zealand fern for Frodo [a New Zealand Thoroughbred], and on the other an 8 for Jamie [Eight Saint James Place]. Those boys are my main arteries.

Q. Who are you competing right now?

A. I’m very fortunate that my mom, Valerie Ashker, has the best eye to find horses off the track. I have Al [Anthony Patch] who was found off the West Virginia track going to slaughter.  Lauren and Paul Tjaden were the ones who paired Al and I together.  I have Guppy, a.k.a. Barracuda, who my mom found off a California track, and he’s going to be the next four-star horse. He’s a 15.2-hand, dark steel grey like Tiana [Coudray’s] horse [Ringwood Magister]. He was gelded late and his confidence matches his talent. He’s 6 and doing his first season of preliminary and showing tons of promise.

Seajack is my first homebred and my two-star horse. I’m hoping to sell him to have finances to compete the other guys. The herd has dwindled, not because I want it that way, but right now with boarding and entry fees, that’s what I can afford.

Q. How did Rolex Kentucky go for you this year?

A. It was everything I dreamed of and more.

I was a little disappointed with dressage. It wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t Al’s best. On cross-country I couldn’t have asked for anything better. He’s the type of horse who takes a long time to settle in on course, but at Kentucky, he was poised to go immediately leaving the start box.

A mistake I’ve made earlier in my career was coming out of the [start] box too quickly. But I’m learning how to ride him better with Buck’s guidance. Al was on course and ready to go, a total four-star horse.

Every horse is different and makes you a better rider and horseman. I was so thrilled. He didn’t have the experience like Jamie or Frodo. When they went to their first Rolex they had done a bunch of three-stars. Al had only done two. He was phenomenal, and I had no expectations but to do the best I could and pilot my horse to the best of my ability. I was thrilled with him. I felt very confident going into show jumping. He’s great and has saved my butt more than once. He never fails and is always there for me.

Al had always been on the backburner because I had Frodo and Jaime. Now he’s the front man, and I’m giving him a chance. He’s exceeded all of my wildest dreams.

Q. You’ve made an incredible comeback after a serious fall two years ago. Can you tell me how it felt to ride so well at Rolex Kentucky?

A. I didn’t want to dwell. It’s so hard, taking the blame and being fully responsible for the horrific accident that happened two years ago. There’s only so much you can take until it starts to hinder your riding. There’s a point where you have to move forward.

I’ve not seen the video and don’t remember it. It was the wrong distance. I don’t want to watch it to see Frodo in that type of position. It’s hard to know exactly what happened and accept responsibility and move past it. That horse was the love of my life.

I had to keep reminding myself that weekend that Frodo would not want me to freak out and carry this over to Al, who needs me now.  In dressage and show jumping I was very confident. On cross-country it still haunts me. I’m slowly making peace with it.

I wanted to envision myself doing everything right, and I did it [this year]. When I came off the course, I was crying. I’m not an overly emotional person, but overcoming the demons of losing my best friend two years ago took a lot of courage.

Having said that, courage can be seen as both foolish and honorable. I’d like to hope that mine is primarily based on honor. It took a lot to get back in the saddle and defeat those perilous issues.

Al turned into a four-star horse on that Saturday, and I turned into a true four-star competitor. The horses are humbling, and if anyone knows that, I‘ve certainly learned it. Anyone at the upper level knows you’re only as good as your horse. Eventing is a humbling, humbling sport.

Q. What was it like to come back from such a scary fall? Have you encountered issues of fear or lowered confidence? Did you ever think, “Maybe I won’t event anymore?”

A. To be honest, I didn’t. My dad said Laine, “I love you, but I don’t want to see you hurt.” For my parents it must have been the worst thing ever. But I never give up. The first thing I thought of when I was getting out of the hospital was, “When can I get back on?” When I fail I want to get back up and do it.

It wasn’t until January 2009 that it really hit me what had happened and the mental repercussions. I did take a step back. I was never fearful of falling, but my biggest thing was fear of failing my horses and not riding the best that I could.

I have a million percent trust in my horses that they’ll take care of me if I take care of them. The biggest issue is not, “Will I get a bad distance to this fence?” but, “Can I do this? Am I a good enough rider?” That is something we all tackle, but I still tackle it today. I don’t care about proving myself to all of the naysayers who piped up two years prior.  At Rolex Kentucky 2010, I cared about proving it to myself.

Q. The public reaction to your fall was mixed. Some people were supportive of you, and some were critical. How have you handled those reactions?

A. So many sleepless nights. My mom and my friends have been great sounding boards. I have to especially thank Jill Hennenberg, who spent countless hours on the phone with me, empathizing with my situation with the media and offering advice as to how to react to such negative reactions.

I used to read [the comments in online forums], and I don’t anymore. People that wrote about my situation were people who, ironically, I had never met or encountered in my life.  I quickly learned that I had to pick and choose my critics. I had to grow a thick skin at a young age. That’s it in a nutshell. I keep my chin up and look forward. If you look sideways you’re bound to stumble.

Q. I know you’re looking to make a farm move. Anywhere in particular you’d like to be?

A. Right now I’m boarding at a place in Virginia, Deerfield Farm, which has been so accommodating and workable for my horses and me.  Eventually I would like to find my own place to work from, and I would like to remain on the East Coast; I have an eventing family out here. I like it here. I would love to find a place in Northern Virginia. I love D.C., Georgetown especially. For right now I’m starting my company on my own with funds, and I’m comfortable. Not permanent but comfortable. I’ll stay put, even though my family would like to see me on the West Coast.

Q. You and your mom both have a reputation for having an eye for talented Thoroughbreds off the track. What is it that you look for?

A. The main thing that my mom looks for before anything is the attitude. Is it rearing? Are its eyes bulging? Event horses have to have sane and sound minds, especially now that dressage is such an important phase. The horses my mom finds are inexpensive horses, of all shapes and sizes, but what they all share is that they have heart.

Second comes conformation. If they’re built correctly, they’ll likely move correctly.

My mom likes to watch the horse in a round pen or an arena to see it walk, trot and canter. The biggest thing is the trot and seeing how the horse goes. How is the horse balanced? Does it display athletic tendencies?

I can’t stress enough the mind. Before the movement, before conformation, the biggest thing is the mind. Is this horse trainable? How does it act? How is it to handle?  You can tell a horse that’s trainable versus one that’s not. That’s the biggest thing that my mom’s so good at spotting.

However, make sure when looking at off-the-track Thoroughbreds that you consult your coach before making a purchase.  It’s important to match your track horse with your riding style. Better yet, contact my mom to find the best match for you!

Q. I also know you’re close with your mom. Can you tell me about that relationship?

A. I also have to include my dad. I’m an only child. When we moved out East my mom raised me. I’m very close with both of my parents.  I’m a daughter to my dad; I’m best friends with my mom.

Regardless of whether he wanted me to compete, my dad has been extremely supportive. He allowed my mom and I to have a fabulous place on the East Coast and enjoy our horses and ride. I got the best high school and college education, and I have to thank my dad for that.

My mom has believed in me from Day 1. I’ve only done one advanced event without my mom. But my dad was there. My mom is always in the start box with me, and with her assurance, the sky’s the limit.

I like having her there, and when the horrible day comes when we’re separated, we’ll still be connected because I know she says I can do it.

She always says, “Shoulders are the last to leave [in the start box], and BD!” BD stands for Bruce Davidson. She worked as a volunteer at the ’96 Olympics. I also tagged along to watch my favorite event riders tackle the tough Atlanta course. I remember Bruce riding by on Heyday and the look of determination on his face as he was coming through the keyhole. It will never go from my mind.

Ever since then, she says “BD.” It means a take no prisoners, warrior mentality. Make your decisions and stick with them.

Q. Anything to add?

A. The horses have given me responsibility and given me life and taught me so much beyond what’s in the saddle. I couldn’t see myself without one. They’re everything. My poor boyfriend has a hard time sharing me!

Four-legged creatures are my life. I enjoy talking about them and am very proud of them. I’m sure I’m like any mom talking about her kids.

Also, thanks to my sponsors: ThinLine, County Saddlery, FITS, Triple Crown/Southern States, Heritage Gloves and Flair Strips. A special thanks to Tipperary and Charles Owen. In my accident they had to cut off my vest, and my helmet was in pieces. Charles Owen and Tipperary replaced both of those without question and that was lovely. That was amazing.

Courtney Young conducts in-depth interviews with the elite of the equestrian world on her blog Three Days Three Ways. Check it out for a behind-the-scenes look into three-day eventing.