Horse News Of The Weird: Extra Strange Spring Edition

Apr 5, 2012 - 6:47 AM
We're not exactly sure what's happening here, but it's definitely weird. Photo by Mollie Bailey.

We’re back with the latest installation of Horse News Of The Weird, and things just keep getting weirder. There aren’t as many drunk riding reports as last time, but we have not-so-stealthy thieves, Tim Tebow the horse and Hunter Jumper the soccer player keeping it interesting.

No weird horse news compilation would be complete without the Weird Horse twitter account, which has grown to more than 60,000 followers. Some of our favorite tweets include: “Trying to put shoes on,” “I believe I can neigh. I believe I can eat the hay. I think about it every night and day. Open wide and scoff away” and “Watching Troy, feeling used.” You can also read an exclusive interview with the Weird Horse himself.

Don’t steal from horse show souvenir stands, and especially don’t steal $27,111 worth of merchandise. You could get six months in jail.

I hope Prince Harry is there to rescue me the next time I fall off my horse. “I remember waking up with these piercing blue eyes looking at me,” said Bash Kazi.

The headline for this story really says it all: “Sheriff: Couple having sex in horse trailer among 225 students arrested at Carolina Cup.”

“Relentless as the Tim Tebow coverage has been, there are still many stupid but important questions to be answered. Is he secretly engaged to Taylor Swift? Does he realize how close his name is to being an anagram for bowtie? Which Star Wars character does he identify with most? Is there any possible chance that he’s actually a horse? To answer that last question: sort of.”

Sick of how much it costs to drive to the grocery store, much less haul your horse to a show? There’s a solution in there somewhere. “Lisa Wilde became so frustrated at the cost of petrol that she now leaves the car in the garage and instead uses her trusty horse and cart for everything from the school run to trips to the shops, and even the local pub.”

There’s an up-and-coming soccer star who looks like he should have picked an equestrian sport instead.

Horses, or the idea of them, even show up in politics sometimes. ” ‘I need to go see a man about a horse,’ explained John Mica when he finally tried to elude reporters last Wednesday in the Speaker’s Lobby. The expression confused scribes not familiar with that old saw.”

Your horse is lame. Just kidding! Would you find this April Fool’s Day joke amusing?

Chronicle staffer Lisa is looking for all the weirdest horse news out there. Have you spotted any equine-related oddities in mainstream media? Email her at


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