If you’re a parent considering getting your child a horse or pony for Christmas, I have some advice for you. I’ve been there and done that, and while it can be a hugely rewarding process for everyone involved, you must go into it with your eyes wide open.   

It’s vital to keep front and center of your mind the fact that you’re not buying a horse to win or buying that horse as a financial investment—it rarely pans out that way—you are buying a relationship. What you are buying is happiness! The friendship and relationship that your child will hopefully develop with that horse or pony will benefit them, regardless of the competitive trajectory they may be on. 

Success with the horse occurs in stages, with the first being to develop the ability to relate to and ride the new horse. So, choose one that is suitable for both your child and your budget. Enlist the help of a trusted or recommended professional who can advise on what type of horse would be a good fit for your family. The buying process can be tricky to navigate, so make sure you have someone on your side who is well-versed in sourcing horses and familiar with all parts of the purchase process. 

It’s not about winning a class or achieving any level of riding in the beginning. It starts with the child making a commitment to develop a relationship with a horse. There will be good and bad days. 

Like a parent with their children, the relationship between a child and a horse requires the child to be kind but not a pushover, to set boundaries for acceptable conduct without being oppressive, and to nurture the horse as it develops. Problems that arise along the way help to build resilience, patience, and an understanding of how to work through them. We all need to learn these skills to thrive in this world. 

If the horse is injured, the care and attention it will need can teach your child valuable life lessons that can’t be taught in the classroom. Learning to navigate difficulties communicating with a horse are incredibly important lessons. You can’t force a horse to do something it doesn’t want to do. You must develop the horse’s trust and respect, just like with any partnership in life. 

If you remember you are buying a relationship first and foremost—not a status symbol or a blue-ribbon machine—you won’t be disappointed, no matter how the purchase works out. There are infinite lessons to be learned. 

The most important parental caveat is that you should only spend the money you are willing to lose, and can afford to lose. Horses can lose value because they get hurt, become difficult, or simply grow older. Even if you don’t recoup the money you initially spent, the valuable experiences you have given your child will be worth it. 

It’s worth being very aware of the fact that the initial purchase price will only be the start of your financial commitment. Monthly bills will start to roll in before you know it, plus there will be the inevitable requests for new pieces of expensive tack and equipment, lessons, and the possibility of the occasional horse show or other competitive event. Make sure you begin by picking a price point to cover the purchase, monthly board and training that you can live with. Always remember, it’s not the height of the fence or the cost of the horse that holds the value for your child. Forewarned is forearmed. So long as you know you’ll be on the hook for those ongoing expenses so they don’t come as a shock, you’re in a good place. 

The responsibility that comes with ownership—and you should definitely plan to give your child an age-appropriate degree of responsibility for the horse, like keeping on top of the blacksmith’s calendar, for example—is fantastic for their growth and development. It teaches them the value of an ongoing commitment to something and the gravity of having responsibility for another living being. These are just a few of the lessons horse ownership offers that can prepare a child for future success.

Putting a horse under the Christmas tree could be the best thing you ever do for your child. Just make sure you seek professional advice when choosing, stay within your budget, and always remember to enjoy the journey, wherever it takes you. 

Armand Leone of Leone Equestrian Law LLC is a business professional with expertise in health care, equestrian sports and law. An equestrian athlete dedicated to fair play, safe sport and clean competition, Leone served as a director on the board of the U.S. Equestrian Federation and was USEF vice president of international high-performance programs for many years. He served on the USEF and U.S. Hunter Jumper Association special task forces on governance, safety, drugs and medications, trainer certification, and coach selection.  

Leone is co-owner at his family’s Ri-Arm Farm in Oakland, New Jersey, where he still rides and trains. He competed in FEI World Cup Finals and Nations Cups. He is a graduate of the Columbia Business School in New York and the Columbia School of Law. He received his M.D. from New York Medical College and his B.A. from the University of Virginia.

Leone Equestrian Law LLC provides legal services and consultation for equestrian professionals. For more information, visit equestriancounsel.com or follow them on Facebook at facebook.com/leoneequestrianlaw.