Five-Second Rules And Sleeping In Breeches: True Confessions Of Horse People

Apr 2, 2015 - 5:54 PM
Horses aren’t the only ones that enjoy drinking from the hose on a hot day. Chronicle forums posters have been known to do the same. Photo by Amy K. Dragoo.

It’s safe to say that most people who spend long days at the barn have sipped water out of the hose, washed up in the wash stall, dunked their shirts in troughs or buckets before putting them back on, and napped on tack trunks while wrapped in coolers or quarter sheets.

But are you brave enough to admit you’ve conducted a conference call while bathing your equine or eaten food that’s fallen on a dirty trailer floor? These Chronicle forums posters confessed to all those barn sins—and many more.


“Last night I slept in my Irideon tights. And I liked it. They are so darn comfy that I guess, for me, they are the equivalent of a soccer mom’s yoga pants. I’ve actually never ridden in them yet!”


Sharpsburg, Ga.


“I once five-second-ruled a peanut butter cup off the floor of my trailer. And it didn’t hit a particularly clean patch, either. But it was the end of a very long show day and, well, chocolate.”


Mystic, Conn.


“I once fell asleep in a chair holding my horse via lead rope. It was a comfy chair, and I was waiting for the farrier. Horse fell asleep, too. We woke up to the farrier not there an hour later. King never budged.”


Brush Prairie, Wash.


“I decided to try just a little of my horse’s Cowboy Magic detangler in my hair. My hair turned into an oil slick.”




“I learned the hard way not to take the cap off of a tube of paste wormer with your teeth. No matter how stuck the cap is, find another way. Because you will get a little wormer in your mouth and on your lips—and if it’s ivermectin, your lips will go numb!”




“I’ve tried every single treat I’ve ever given my horse, including her grain. One would think that I’ve learned, but those apple/oatmeal horse cookies smell so much better than they actually taste.”


Germantown, Ohio


“I handled and groomed my horse last night wearing only my Crocs. I know, I know, but I did it anyway.”


Germantown, Ohio


“I stole the horses’ Orvus [shampoo]. It’s in the shower for people hair.”


Bremo Bluff, Va. 


“On really hot days, I used to wonder what it would be like to submerge my entire head in my horse’s extra large, freshly filled water bucket. Then one day I did it. It felt great! (And I’m no spring chicken.)”


Oakland, Calif.


“I once cooled, bathed and groomed a horse while on a conference call with clients. I had asked if the call could be at a different time as I had a conflict, but they said no. So I made some schedule adjustments.”


Tucson, Ariz.


“Once or twice a year while my non-horsey significant other is away, I will clean out my grooming box, clean the brushes—and then stick them in the dishwasher and put it on a sani-cycle.”


Cleveland, Tenn.


“I have forgotten to bring a water bottle with me to do barn chores— and drank water out of a horse’s bucket when no one was watching.”


Carrboro, N.C.

What’s your true horseperson confession? Leave a comment or email us fessing up!!

Tag: Humor

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