I’ve often wondered about how much effect we professional trainers have on our students, especially the ones who ride with us from ponies through their junior years.

Do we help the ones who want to become horsemen or women stay in the business? Do we give them useful life and people tools for their lives, with or without horses? And, better still, do we learn from the youth of today–do they teach us to be better teachers and better horsemen?

We all seem to move through life, from moment to moment, lesson to lesson, show to show, without stopping to really enjoy people around us who’ve affected our lives in a profound way.

Lately, I’ve come to realize that I learned so much about life from a young man who died way before his time. His loss has made me stop to think of how I can make life better in another person’s life or in a horse’s life.

There’s an article going around the Internet, which insists that “people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime.” So here’s the story of Stephen.

In 1988 I was attending the Lake Erie College horse shows in Painesville, Ohio. Hugh Kincannon was starting his show-managing career and was operating a top hunter/ jumper program out of Ridgewood Stables. I’d been helping some of Hugh’s students as he was starting to move away from the training and into show management. At this show, Hugh introduced me to a family from Akron, Ohio–Steve and Jane Comunale and their 10-year-old son, Stephen. Jane and Stephen were showing, and Steve was cheering for them.

That fall, Jane brought Stephen to my farm in Buffalo, N.Y., with his pony Millie for lessons. It was the first day Jennifer Alfano worked for me (which she still does), and this was also the first lesson I watched her teach. Stephen was a very timid pony rider and proceeded to burst out crying at the very beginning of the lesson. Jennifer began by thinking to herself, “Great, this child is crying, and I’m going to lose my job!”

But it was the first day of a 15-year, very close friendship between Stephen and Jennifer. And the next year Stephen bought the fabulous pony Farnley Rutile.

The next May, Stephen decided he wanted to qualify for the fall indoor horse shows. So with Jane driving their two-horse trailer, they began their qualifying journey. At that young age, everyone liked Stephen, and he started becoming one of the best riders of that time. He qualified for all the indoor shows and won a class at the National Horse Show at The Meadowlands (N.J.).

In the next few years, Stephen became a star tennis player and a top skier. And he was becoming a better rider, although he still had his fears–like showing in the rain. At the end of that year, Stephen flew to Southamp-ton (N.Y.) with Jennifer and showed a local woman’s children’s hunters. He’d overcome all his fears at that point and was champion and reserve at the Hampton Classic.

He later gave up the riding but came to work for me at the Detroit horse shows. After one week of work, he told Jennifer and me that he was ready to ride again. His parents leased him two horses, and off he went in the junior division. He was a very gifted hunter rider and catch-rode many horses. His junior years ended with Stephen placing at the Maclay regional finals and qualifying for all the equitation finals. He decided to qualify for the finals in July of his last year. Equitation was not his forte, but he worked hard and long to be a contender. He chose to go to college in Vermont for a year and then transferred to Canisus College in Buffalo to work with us at SBS Farms.

He did a great job managing the barn at SBS. He then pursued a horse-show managing career by running the BTRC shows. He did the in-gate, designed the courses, and managed the shows with such composure. He could get along with anyone–from a 10-year-old rider to the most antagonistic trainer or irate pony mother. He even started riding again, with confidence and strength.

His teaching skills were amazing too. I think he had great compassion with each rider because he’d started out as a timid rider.

Stephen had the ability to make deals with the shavings company, the man who took our manure away was a close friend, and all the clients adored him. But it was time for Stephen to move back to Ohio and help run his father’s business. Stephen worked long hours, traveled many miles, and was an integral part of the family business. His fellow workers affectionately called him “Junior.” Just as he had in the horse world, he did every job that needed to be done.

In 2005 we learned that Stephen had cancer. He fought his way through treatment with an amazing attitude for more than a year, and there must have been 500 people at his funeral in February. He touched young and old. His long-time girlfriend, Julie, and his brother, John, never left his side in the last few months as he led them, and other friends and family, through his horrific disease with humor and a lust for life. He never complained to anyone–not once.

Heather Caristo, a good friend from his junior years, even ran a marathon to raise money for him with tremendous support from all over the country. When you read his guest book, which is online at www.hummelfuneralhomes.com, it’s filled with friends from the horse world and his work world who respected and adored him. All of them mention his great smile, which touched so many people.

When we teachers have a student who stays with us from ponies to adults, we hope that we can give them the love of horses that will stay with them forever. I think we owe it to those students to give them tools for life by using the lessons that horses can teach them. We hope that they turn out like Stephen, who mastered life and people in his very short time with us.