I’ve been reading several excellent archived columns by Susie Schoellkopf and Linda Allen on the Chronicle website. I’ve found two kindred spirits—horsewomen who demand we look at the hallmarks of sportsmanship and good manners then urge us to lead by example.

If you only have time to read only one or two, start with “Think ‘We’ Not ‘I’ To Succeed In This World.” Written one year ago, Susie asks today’s professionals and junior riders to compare their horsemanship skills and decorum to the horsemen and women of 20 and 30 years ago. Would we ever have seen Rodney Jenkins or Michael Matz warming up while wearing an iPod? Would a competitor of 10 years ago jog a hunter in a tank top and shorts? Can today’s junior riders braid, ship and wrap their own horses? Do they understand the basic health needs of their animals?

I confess, it’s troublesome to ponder. As a mother who does know how to do these things, I look inward and ask myself if I am doing everything I can to teach my daughter how to be a polite, knowledgeable and self-sufficient horsewoman. I will often do things myself rather than take the time to explain to her what I am doing and why. Rationalizations include: “She’s only 12! It’s faster this way! I want her to get as much sleep as possible! We’ll never get home in time for dinner. I’ll have her do it the next time!”

It’s time for me to reassess my thinking. Riding is one small part of what we do in this sport. Learning to care for the animal, doing the work to prepare for horse shows, sowing respect for others and teamwork is equally important. Manners are based on the principles of honesty, respect and consideration. Good horsemanship requires these qualities plus a strong work ethic and a sense of fair play.

Another great Susie Schoellkopf piece is called “What Happened To Manners And Sportsmanship?” I’d like to see this piece hung in every tack room.

Read international course designer Linda Allen’s piece, “Does Our Sport Have To Be So Exclusive?” It’s a somewhat painful read, showing some areas where our sport is truly lacking in courtesy and good sportsmanship.

Because this all feels rather serious, I am now asking myself, “Where’s the funny?” It came to me very quickly. I thought about ground manners. We expect our horses to have good ground manners. It’s something we teach them as soon as their brains can handle the concept and continue to emphasize. A horse without good ground manners can easily find himself smacked, twitched, yelled at, disregarded or maybe even sold.

But what about our own ground manners? Would my horse smack me if he could?

My daughter brought a non-horsey friend to the barn this weekend. This delightful 13-year-old girl was utterly disgusted when Samantha’s mount pooped in the aisle while on the crossties. She made several dramatic and disgusted noises and then yelled, “Couldn’t he hold it?” Samantha and I giggled, then roared till we cried when we realized SHE WAS SERIOUS.

To this kid, this horse had atrocious manners. She didn’t understand that all people manners don’t hold true for horses. Allow me to translate: loud belch? No problem. Passing gas in public? Well, hey, it likely means you don’t have colic and that’s good. She understood that a nuzzle from a warm muzzle was a very nice (and polite) way to say “Nice to meet ya!” But the poop? That’s where she drew the line.

It all came down to perception. She expected a horse to have a certain amount of decorum, and when that turned out to be unrealistic, rather than reassess her perception, she thought the horse was incredibly rude.

There’s a lesson there for all of us. What would horses say about our ground manners? What are their expectations for our good behavior? Are they insulted when we don’t take the time to learn how they like to be handled, when we don’t load them on the trailer ourselves, when we pay someone else to attend to their daily grooming? What does this say to them about our sense of sportsmanship?

It’s a place to start to assess and maybe change our own behavior. As for me, I’m going to teach my daughter, and anyone else in the barn who wants to learn, how to braid. Each of us can do something to show tomorrow’s horsemen and women what good manners and good horsemanship are all about.

Send me your barn manners question and comments, Elizabeth@sheridesipay.com