For those of us whose job descriptions could at times be described as: “It puts the poop in the bucket, it does what it’s told,” (imagine a Buffalo Bill voice)…

The holiday season can be full of manure-encrusted wonder and frozen pipes, water buckets, extremities and hearts. Many of us can be caught humming familiar holiday melodies while slinging $&!# in sub-zero conditions, and though outwardly it may appear a cheerful winter ritual, we’re probably adding our own special lyrics to your old festive favorites.

So for all you horse girls out there, chipping ice off water tubs, dragging hay bales on sleds, face-planting in the snow, and laying there for a minute considering just taking an eternal ice nap before getting back up and kicking on, this one’s for you.

Muck the stalls dressed like Chris Farley, Fa la la la la la la la!
Drag chain shanks like Jacob Marley, Fa la la la la la la la!
Out we hack through ice and peril, Fa la la la la la la la!
Your horse fake-spooks at a rubbage barrel, Fa la la la la la la la!
See the frozen ground before us, Fa la la la la la la la!
Strike the earth and be lost in the forest, Fa la la la la la la la!
Off he goes buck-farting with pleasure, Fa la la la la la la la!
While we yell of Dreamhorse ad measures, Fa la la la la la la la!
Fast away the jerk horse passes, Fa la la la la la la la!
Hail the port, thank god for *hiccups* flasksssses, Fa la la la la la la la!
Drink we horse-girls all together! Fa la la la la la la la!
Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa la la la la la la la!

Happy Holidays frozen horse farm comrades! And may the odds be ever in your favor. *Hunger Games salute*

Alice Peirce was raised as a self-described “feral horse farm child” in Howard County, Md. She’s made efforts to leave the horse world over the years but always comes back and has worked for a number of people in various disciplines. Currently she’s riding young race horses and training foxhunters in Monkton, Md., where she hunts with the Elkridge-Harford Hunt.

Read all of Alice’s COTH blogs.