Recently returned from a horse show, I reviewed the pictures I had taken. I was planning to share them with the usual suspects: grandparents, friends, the owner of the horse we’re leasing, the parent of the other rider I had taken to the show, etc.

I downloaded the photos from the borrowed camera (a very nice Cannon) and was excited to view the results of four days of snapping away. I knew the results would be good, because the mom who owns this camera always comes back from horse shows with excellent pictures.

Hmmmm, OK, let’s see…Here’s one of Samantha in the temporary stall with Mondavi, here’s one of Rachel with Misty…their heads seem to be a little fuzzy. Here’s one of our trainer Tara from the back…but her hind end is all distorted…why don’t the pictures of me come out like that?  OK, beginner’s nerves, that’s all. I hadn’t become quite comfortable enough with a new camera, just working out the kinks.

OK, scrolling through, ah! Here are some pictures of the girls in the jumper ring. Yes! Here are a few good shots of Tara on the ground walking with the girls from the warm-up area to the show ring. This is one of my standard go-to shots and it looks great! Except, yeah, I already have about 62 of this exact same photo, just from different horse shows. Oh well, who’s counting?

OK, now we are into the good stuff! Here are Rachel and Misty in the jumper ring—nice! There they are on the landing, Rachel looking ahead to her next jump. Not too bad if I do say so myself! OK, the next one is Rachel and Misty about two strides after the jump. That’s OK, no worries. Next: ummmm…oh! There’s Rachel and Misty in the bottom of the picture frame, well you can’t really see the kid’s or the pony’s legs. For a second there I thought I had just taken a picture of a random trailer and the water tower in the background.

OK, more jumping pictures. Gee, there’s Misty’s face, and just her face, almost looking suspended in space, but I can also see the jump. No Rachel, or other body parts of the pony to speak of. There’s one of the pony’s hind end and tail going over the jump. Maybe if I put those two pictures together, I’ll have something to show Rachel’s mother. Oh, this one is nice, it’s a close up of Misty jumping, oh, but wait, Rachel’s head is not in the picture. Whoopsie!

The girls absconded with the camera, and one of them (they would not ‘fess up, which probably saved their little lives) took a truly excellent picture of me braiding Misty. The braids look quite nice. The back fat on the braider? Not so much.

I didn’t do a whole lot better taking pictures of my own kid. There are quite a few of Samantha and the Mo Man one stride before the jump and one stride after. Apparently this picture taking thing requires skills that I am lacking. There’s one in particular where it took me a full minute to figure out exactly what it was that I took a picture of…and then I finally spotted Mondavi’s nose in the far right corner. No laughing!

By the third day of the show I smartened up and took some nice candids. There we go! I talked to Rachel’s mom on the phone. She said, “I can’t wait to see the pictures,” in a sing-song voice. I said, “You’re breaking up, I’ll try you again later.”

Paging Jenna Leigh Teti. I am so busted!