Wish your hunter had more pep in his step? Want your jumper more animated during his flat warm-up? Ever long for your horse to move with the style and athleticism of a cream-of-the-crop dressage champion?

Get ready to have all of your wishes granted.

This training method promises your horse will be performing in ways you never imagined possible, sooner than you ever imagined possible. It requires no professional schooling, no hours of grueling practice. More effective than natural horsemanship and unrivaled by classical techniques or George Morris boot camps, this system pretty much does all the hard stuff for you.  

This revolutionary training method is called Winter.

Nothing improves your horse’s athletic potential or his willingness to try new things like being pent up in a 12 x 12 box, 24/7 because of snow or rain. Continue to load him up with all those supplements and you’ll prime him for even more remarkable results. He’ll be absolutely bursting to show you his newfound ability to do everything you ever wanted him to do, and a lot of things you’ll never want him to do again.

Here are just a few of the exciting benefits you’ll begin to reap in as little as one week.

Prompt, Crisp Transitions!

Those slothful transitions are a thing of the past. With the Winter method, horses are responsive. Boy, are they responsive. Leave the spurs and crops in your tack trunk; simply turning your foot in your stirrup will be enough for a 0-to-60 departure that would smoke the field at the Kentucky Derby. Sure, that’s the only kind of transition you can do—but remember, it’s about quality, not quantity!

The Perfect Piaffe!

All you need to master this advanced movement is a little Winter and a crowded little covered arena. For accelerated learning, ride when there’s rain beating on the roof and a tailwind ripping up the long side.

Ten minutes with amped-up animals in this environment and pretty much every horse in the ring will be piaffing to beat the band. We are talking knee action like you’ve never seen before. It’s a ring full of “10” movement that will make the likes of Charlotte Dujardin envious.

With a little creative video editing and the addition of appropriate Prix St. Georges freestyle music, you can have one hella impressive video to post on YouTube. Prepare to be flooded with offers from the Olympic dressage team!

Pirouettes Made Easy!

I don’t understand why people think the canter pirouette is a difficult move. Coop any horse up long enough and it becomes a natural behavior.

Heck, our horses are so talented they do them in their stalls. It’s a favorite of the stall cleaners, who much prefer the rhythmical whirling hooves of death to the more volatile, unpredictable nature of the capriole and the mezair.

Even horses that couldn’t finish a circle if they had the width of a runway and a man pointing lighted sticks will be pirouetting with ease. Don’t let your purist dressage friends tell you it doesn’t count if they do it randomly without being asked; they’re just jealous.

Wholly Half Pass!

Half pass is really a misnomer here. There will be no half-assed half pass; what you’ll be doing is more appropriately termed a Whole Pass. You will get from one end of the ring to the other lickety-split; there’ll be nothing halfway about it. While most commonly executed into oncoming traffic, this move may also occur between the barn and the arena. Particularly gifted horses even combine the movement with airs above the ground (Don’t worry. We’ll get to those).

Circles, Schmircles

Doing circles in a ring packed with riders is usually not a good idea. The probability of putting yourself into Harm’s way (that’s the nutty black gelding’s name, “Harm”) is too great.

Now, you can keep current with your 20-meter work all year long. Winter Training rapidly develops a horse’s ability to canter up and down, practically in place. With a little planning, you can all circle together, nose-to-tail, in one big, fire-breathing unmerry-go-round formation. 

Anyone Can Tempi Change!

One of the most impressive movements in the dressage world is the prolonged display of rhythmical lead swaps known as the tempi change. The Winter method will make your horse da bomb at tempi work.

In fact, all of your canter work is going to consist of tempi changes, as it will be impossible to hold any lead for more than two or three strides. Winter Training takes this movement to the next level by giving his front and back end the ability to change independently, with no input whatsoever from the rider. The horse practically schools itself!

Airs Above The Ground!

Remember when you were a kid and fell in love with Lippizan stallions? Remember how you always wished you could run away, join the Spanish Riding School and sit astride a beautiful steed performing all manners of jumps and twirls in the air? Well, your childhood dreams are about to come true.

You don’t even have to have a stallion. Now, mares, geldings—even ponies—can make your impossible dream a daily reality. The courbette, the ballotade, the croupade—all of those previously unachievable movements will be yours for the asking. Except there will be no asking involved—your horse will volunteer them out of sheer delight!

If you do happen to have a stallion, it’s even better. You thought Studly-Do-Right was animated around mares before? His feet won’t even touch the ground now. It will be like a fairytale magic carpet ride, except for the screaming and the part when you hurl your body to the ground to get off of it.

Give it just a few weeks and we’re sure you’ll agree there’s nothing that compares to Winter Training! Sure, it’s less about a horse’s willingness to please and more about a will to do as he pleases, but we think the results will speak for themselves.

Winter Training is currently offered in select latitudes of the Northern Hemisphere. Check your local long-range weather forecast for availability. Results may vary. Not recommended for people sensitive to impacting solid objects at high speeds or those with irrational fear of rampaging half-ton mammals.