The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 9 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 161
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2007
    Posts
    15

    Angry Since when does giving a 14 year old some advice equal verbal assault?

    I ran into a situation at the barn last night that COMPLETELY blew my mind. I was there playing with my ponies when I saw this girl bringing her horse in from the paddocks. She was hanging on to the end of his lead rope (he was wearing a stud chain) and the horse in the paddock next to him start running and bucking so, naturally, he started to TROT (please keep in mind this is a VERY docile 12 year old Paint gelding who has a show record in youth classes longer than my arm)!! So, what does she do? She yanks on the lead rope (stud chain) and proceeds to make him back up until his butt is about 3 inches from the electric tape fence. He refuses to back up anymore and just kind of scoots his butt to avoid the fence. The girl then proceeds to take the end of the lead rope and start whipping him across the face with it while yanking on the stud chain. Obviously, at this point, the horse is getting VERY upset as is the horse whose fence he is backing up into. I couldn't ignore it anymore and walked over and asked her what she was doing. She replied "backing him up and stuff so he won;t try to get in front of me again". I told her that she should hang on the lead rope correctly and lead him properly rather than smack him in the fact with the lead rope. She asked me what I meant. I reached over, put my hand on the top portion of the lead rope (just under all of the metal) and told her to hold on to the lead rope at the top so she is actually in control of him so he won't be able to scoot in front of her if excited. She turns purple and snaps "he's a show horse, he should listen!" and drags the poor pony off the the barn.
    I shrugged and went off to mind my own business, happy that she hadn't put the horse's eye out...and happy he hadn't gotten zapped and run over her.

    Fast forward about an hour, I'm peacefully grooming my horse in a different barn (there are 4 barns on the farm) and in storms this girls mum, VERY upset. She comes over and starts yelling at me about the fact that her daughter is perfectly trained and VERY experienced and whatever she did to the horse was fine and no excuse for me to verbally assault and harass her daughter. I tried to explain that her daughter was hitting the horse in face and about to get hurt if he got shocked by the fence and was informed that if I come within 30 feet of her daughter again that she will press charges?! I told her that I was NOT mean to her daughter and I was actually very nice and just trying to help her avoid getting hurt and hurting the horse. She told me that they lease the horse that the owners "have a contract" with her daughter and "are very aware of how she trains her horses". I again told her that her daughter was hitting the horse in the face, she said I was lying....I asked if she had been watching...she told me "no" and that she was at work. Meanwhile, she has now moved to within about 1 foot from my face and is screaming at me, which is upsetting my horse. I told her to please leave me alone and stop bothering me, that I had done nothing wrong and she was upsetting my horse. She refused to leave, saying that I had purposely attacked her daughter (who I have never even SEEN before) and if I ever even SPOKE to her daughter again that she would press charges. She said that I had ruined the environment where her daughter needed to feel secure and like she was cared about. That I had ruined this nurturing environment because of a horse! She then stomped out of the barn and drove off...leaving me with my mouth hanging open in shock.

    Can someone PLEASE point out what I did wrong here? And how what I did could equal verbal assault??? I never raised my voice, never said anything mean...the entire encounter with the girl lasted MAYBE 3 minutes (which included me patting the horse and telling him he needed to be a good boy.

    I'm so lost here!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 26, 2006
    Location
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Posts
    4,524

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Cricket View Post
    I ran into a situation at the barn last night that COMPLETELY blew my mind. I was there playing with my ponies when I saw this girl bringing her horse in from the paddocks. She was hanging on to the end of his lead rope (he was wearing a stud chain) and the horse in the paddock next to him start running and bucking so, naturally, he started to TROT (please keep in mind this is a VERY docile 12 year old Paint gelding who has a show record in youth classes longer than my arm)!! So, what does she do? She yanks on the lead rope (stud chain) and proceeds to make him back up until his butt is about 3 inches from the electric tape fence. He refuses to back up anymore and just kind of scoots his butt to avoid the fence. The girl then proceeds to take the end of the lead rope and start whipping him across the face with it while yanking on the stud chain. Obviously, at this point, the horse is getting VERY upset as is the horse whose fence he is backing up into. I couldn't ignore it anymore and walked over and asked her what she was doing. She replied "backing him up and stuff so he won;t try to get in front of me again". I told her that she should hang on the lead rope correctly and lead him properly rather than smack him in the fact with the lead rope. She asked me what I meant. I reached over, put my hand on the top portion of the lead rope (just under all of the metal) and told her to hold on to the lead rope at the top so she is actually in control of him so he won't be able to scoot in front of her if excited. She turns purple and snaps "he's a show horse, he should listen!" and drags the poor pony off the the barn.
    I shrugged and went off to mind my own business, happy that she hadn't put the horse's eye out...and happy he hadn't gotten zapped and run over her.

    Fast forward about an hour, I'm peacefully grooming my horse in a different barn (there are 4 barns on the farm) and in storms this girls mum, VERY upset. She comes over and starts yelling at me about the fact that her daughter is perfectly trained and VERY experienced and whatever she did to the horse was fine and no excuse for me to verbally assault and harass her daughter. I tried to explain that her daughter was hitting the horse in face and about to get hurt if he got shocked by the fence and was informed that if I come within 30 feet of her daughter again that she will press charges?! I told her that I was NOT mean to her daughter and I was actually very nice and just trying to help her avoid getting hurt and hurting the horse. She told me that they lease the horse that the owners "have a contract" with her daughter and "are very aware of how she trains her horses". I again told her that her daughter was hitting the horse in the face, she said I was lying....I asked if she had been watching...she told me "no" and that she was at work. Meanwhile, she has now moved to within about 1 foot from my face and is screaming at me, which is upsetting my horse. I told her to please leave me alone and stop bothering me, that I had done nothing wrong and she was upsetting my horse. She refused to leave, saying that I had purposely attacked her daughter (who I have never even SEEN before) and if I ever even SPOKE to her daughter again that she would press charges. She said that I had ruined the environment where her daughter needed to feel secure and like she was cared about. That I had ruined this nurturing environment because of a horse! She then stomped out of the barn and drove off...leaving me with my mouth hanging open in shock.

    Can someone PLEASE point out what I did wrong here? And how what I did could equal verbal assault??? I never raised my voice, never said anything mean...the entire encounter with the girl lasted MAYBE 3 minutes (which included me patting the horse and telling him he needed to be a good boy.

    I'm so lost here!
    Well, I'm sure that as you know, there really isn't anything you did wrong. People just suck sometimes, and this girl and her mom seem like the usual nutcases. I really feel for the horses in these situations...
    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May. 14, 2006
    Location
    Southeast MA
    Posts
    1,208

    Default

    unforntunately you lost the battle to a 14 year old beeyotch who's viewed as God in her mothers eyes. Anything that girl says probably is taken literally. You did nothing wrong at all, in fact you tried to help by doing the right thing. The fact that her mom said she would press charges makes me think she's got a couple loose screws.
    -Desmond

    "If you're dating a guy who rides horses, Raise your cup. If not, Raise your standards."


    3 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 2, 2003
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    1,521

    Default

    I wouldn't say you are wrong, but in this litigation happy world I would probably not go near them again...I think I would tell Barn manager or barn owner what happened and stay out of their way. While it is not right in any sense of the word what the girl did it is "none of your business."


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2005
    Posts
    3,504

    Default

    Some people are just crazy...
    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn. I can yawn, because I ride better than you. Meredith Michael Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    -George Morris


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2000
    Posts
    24,408

    Default

    stay away from people and don't give them advice.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 29, 2007
    Posts
    339

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by oleary157 View Post
    unforntunately you lost the battle to a 14 year old beeyotch who's viewed as God in her mothers eyes. Anything that girl says probably is taken literally. You did nothing wrong at all, in fact you tried to help by doing the right thing. The fact that her mom said she would press charges makes me think she's got a couple loose screws.
    Exactly!!!!
    You just had the "pleasure" of running into one of those "delightful little children" that has mommy wrapped around their little finger and can do NO WRONG! And after she got in her car and drove off they went home to "never never land" because that is certainly where they are living, in a fairy tale....What is to come of this child when she grows up, will mommy and daddy be there to shield her from the world when she actually has to go out and get a job, OH THE HORROR!

    Trust me I just had the pleasure of dealing with a VERY similar situation! It all just really makes you not want to help people when they turn on you like this!



    eta: do the people leasing their horse to this child know that the "training methods" she is using is yanking on a chain on their horse and whipping him in the face?


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2004
    Location
    Catonsville, MD
    Posts
    6,922

    Default

    poor horse. :-(
    I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
    I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09



    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 21, 2005
    Location
    michigan
    Posts
    2,453

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pacificsolo View Post
    Hehehe...I'd be one step ahead of this crazy lady and file for a restraining order on the mom She sounds like a nut and I'd want a paper-trail.
    Haha, that was my first thought, too. What a nut job!
    Lapeer ... a small drinking town with a farming problem.
    Proud Closet Canterer!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2007
    Posts
    3,028

    Default

    I want to know why the 14 year old girl was running around the farm unsupervised in the first place. It annoys me to no end when parents just drop their kids off and expect some random adult to "babysit". What if she was seriously injured and there wasn't anyone there to witness it happening? We had a couple of bratty kids at our barn recently, and I can't even begin to describe how happy we all were when they left. But all it took was meeting the parents to understand why these kids were spoiled brats and complete disasters waiting to happen on horseback.

    That being said, however, there ARE some great kids out there who DO know what they're doing and can be trusted to behave themselves and treat the horses with respect. THOSE are the kind of kids who can be an asset to any barn.
    "It is not necessary for you to let everyone know everything about you. In fact, it is probably wise that you don't. There are some things that you need only discuss with God."


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2007
    Posts
    15

    Default Thanks...

    I was starting to feel like I was the crazy one! I don't intend on going near them again...I've never seen them before...the horse has been there for a while, so I can easily avoid them as we are in different barns and I don't use the arena...I also use a different set of paddocks.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct. 8, 2002
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    10,028

    Default

    Heh, sounds like what the mom did was closer to assault than what you did.

    I would mention the whole thing to your BO or BM, just so that they know, and then do your level best to keep blinders on when those people are around.

    Take comfort in the fact that the daughter will get one hell of a wakeup call when she gets out from under her mommy's skirts.

    Poor thing... the first time she understands that a call home to mommy will *not* get her an A on her philosophy paper she will be just crushed. CRUSHED!

    In the meantime, be prepeared for them to give you dirty looks, spread rumors about you, and perhaps do really mature things like trying to spook your horse while you're riding.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    8,155

    Default

    There are some parents who do not want anyone correcting their child but themselves. They particularly do not want anyone raising their voice to that child either (which I know you did not do). It is a control issue, pure and simple. This is a very important step in the raising of a princess. Soon, she will be annoying a lot more people in the barn besides you! Enjoy working with your horse, and give these royalty-wannabes a wide berth.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 14, 2000
    Location
    Rochester,NY,USA
    Posts
    7,628

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DancingPretense View Post
    I wouldn't say you are wrong, but in this litigation happy world I would probably not go near them again...I think I would tell Barn manager or barn owner what happened and stay out of their way. While it is not right in any sense of the word what the girl did it is "none of your business."
    While I agree for the most part with what DP has posted about informing the barn manager/owner and avoiding them, I don't agree that it was 'none of your business'. Kids like that NEED someone to set them right, cause you are talking about animal abuse here and the brat doesn't even OWN the horse, and it's obvious that the parents aren't about to do that. Hopefully, the bm/bo will step in and try to straighten this brat out!
    Sue
    Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you!


    6 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2003
    Posts
    1,888

    Default

    If the lease horse belonged to me, I know I would want to know what that child was doing to it.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 8, 2007
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    110

    Default

    That sucks! Some people are screwed. I feel bad for the horse, and I am glad that you stepped in. Too bad it didn't turn out the way it should have.
    Can you talk to the BO or BM??



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
    Posts
    36,321

    Default

    Sounds like Mommie Dearest is reading a few too many "self help" books on how to raise and train a teenager. Contracts with your children? Nurturing environments? Do people really talk like this besides on TV?

    Poor you...I guess there isn't much to do besides shrug your eyes and thank your lucky stars you're not a member of that family!
    Click here before you buy.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr. 26, 2006
    Location
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Posts
    4,524

    Default

    I agree. Get a restraining order!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2003
    Location
    Arkansas
    Posts
    816

    Default

    Nope, you didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like mom forgot to take her anti-anxiety meds that morning, LOL. Just steer clear of them and if you see the pony's owner, mention that she might want to consider talking to the girl about proper leading practices. Don't mention what happened, just tell the owner that the girl needs a bit of a reminder.

    This is why I hate boarding facilities, lol. I have run away from more than a few due to too much drama. My current facility is small and private, and invite only! .

    ~Barbara
    "To be an equestrian in the classical sense is not just to be a rider.
    It is a position in life." --Charles de Kunffy



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2005
    Location
    B.F. Idaho
    Posts
    858

    Default

    You did nothing wrong except try to help this girl avoid a potentially dangerous situation.

    I would have reported Mother dingbat to the police right away. Even if they didn't investigate, a paper trail is nice to have around. What she did was assault you in the legal sense of the word. Some court ordered anger management might have been the best thing for her, in my opinion.
    DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!! - God



Similar Threads

  1. Giving Up Ammy Status? Advice Por Favor
    By ALTruistic in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Feb. 17, 2012, 10:24 PM
  2. New blog post on verbal driving commands
    By Cielo Azure in forum Driving
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Feb. 11, 2011, 12:45 PM
  3. Replies: 15
    Last Post: Nov. 20, 2009, 06:24 PM
  4. Giving broodmares a year off... thoughts?
    By EquusMagnificus in forum Sport Horse Breeding
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: Jul. 24, 2008, 11:55 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •