Hey Jude - you've blotty well Photoshopped that picture haven't you! There are six stinking (but very clean) big stallioons our front, chained to the smart car and driven by your good self up top of the gooseneck and weilding a giant carrot stick. Come on- confess!
Oh goodness no, I would NEVER chain my darling baby stallie-wallies to ANYthing! What if their sheaths got dirty???? What if the first one pooped, then the next in line would have to poop on top of it, and the next in line after that, and so on, and then I'd have to turn around and let the first one have a go again, and then my SmartTruck wouldn't fit over top of the poop pile!!
It is, of course, Photoshopped, though - I have to cut out the Gigantic Trophy Bowl That Would Make You All Jealous. It was filled with cheese. And I had to cut out the background so you wouldn't see that we were at a USDF CSI**** dressage show. That would make you jealous too, especially if you saw Mr. Biggest Name Trainer In All of Dressage Ever grooming for me. Plus, it would make you all want to breed to my stallions even more, and then Erin would get even madder at me. I tell her that it isn't MY fault I have the perfectest-werfectest stallie-studdikins ever, but she's tells me I have to go su...um, clean my boys.
fiona, I'm so glad you asked!!! Really, all you need is an abundance of luuuuuuuurve, and various vegetables. You have gotten close to our training methods, but like many newbies you know just enough to be dangerous. So I will enlighten you. Never, ever, ever, EVER discipline your horse - he will never trust you again and won't let you read his mind any more. However, you have to get him trained, so when he is lame, you must work him until he starts to stagger. Then, tie up the offending leg so it isn't being hurt while he is standing, because you might do damage to it if he stands on it. He will trust you, because he knows you luuuuuuv him.
indyblue, you absolutely HAVE to email me!!! You aren't allowed to PM me because *Someone* monitors the PMs, which is totally unfair, if you ask me. But it sounds like my Moochey-Woochey will be just perfect with your mare. I totally agree that colored Shetland crosses are the next hottest thing, and anyone who disagrees is, well I hate to say it, but just kinda dumb. His feet will be perfect for her foal. And my Moochey would never ever bolt, but I won't be offended that you said he might. You can see from his awesome dressage score at a CSI**** event that he is a great mover. My Moochey will make a perfect foal out of your old nag - wait, I meant to type MARE!!!, so you don't have to worry about that. Anky is going to be SOOO jealous, I bet she'll try to buy the foal before it's even born!
Anatomists are agents of Satan. Chestnuts are the signs of the chosen. There aren't many, but I think it means heaven is full of horses, and I'm stuck here on earth with my lovely, imperfect Dobbin and enjoying myself much on the road to hell..
Your trailer is OK if at least some joints and/or cracks are held together with duct tape. I, personally, have been putting off doing this with my shower head. It sprouted a crack that I debate sealing with duct tape ( 10 cents for 1 1/2 inches) vs. buying a new shower head ($25 minimum). Dobbin, meanwhile, recently got a $1000 Wintec saddle.
DGRH, David does oversee our semen collection system. Usually he just pops in to make sure everything is really clean down there. He also often cleans the mares for us, making sure they are ready for mating. He has a very good system of getting them primed that he does in a private stall, and no one is allowed to watch or else his secret technique will leak out. He has taught all of the 14 year old boys that work here how to do it just right. We are all grateful for his expertise.
I would love to have you as a working student, but you would have to leave Ted at home. I have heard he is a great big weenie, and we don't need weenies in my barn full of stallions. Peeps are not very manly, but you could bring some of those mallowcremes!
PS: Sorry about your keyboard!
fiona, big, fat, juicy carrots are the best training tool when working with stallions and broodmares. At least, that's what David tells me.