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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 1999
    Location
    Cypress, near Houston, Texas
    Posts
    8,537

    Default Observations from an oldtimer regarding BBs

    You know, I have been a computer geek from the beginning of PCs, when we had Tandy 1000s (GADS, I'm old!) and I have been active on numerous bulletin boards all this time. In fact, I was the VERY FIRST poster on the COTH board!

    I was thinking today that I have noticed some things about bbs over that time. Seems that the best of boards starts out with a group of folks who are excited to have a group of like-minded folks with which to share. All goes well for a time and then a whole bb society begins to form, cliques begin to spring up. People of one clique begin to pick on people from another clique. Then a few are singled out for torment.

    Pretty soon, a pack mentality develops and the pack tears apart its chosen victim. Defenders jump in and it becomes a rumble. Sometimes it begins a war.

    Inevitably, the bb degenerates into petty nastiness and implodes. Remember warmbloods.net anyone?

    I sure would hate to see this happen on COTH, but that looks like where we are headed. No one seems to feel the slightest hesitation to attack another. I've succumbed to the temptation myself a few times and felt terrible afterwards.

    I wonder WHY this seems to always happen. Do we have any sociologists here that can help explain this awful phenom?
    Visit Sonesta Farms website at www.sonestafarms.com or our FaceBook page at www.facebook.com/sonestafarms. Also showing & breeding Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 10, 2006
    Location
    Middle of Nowhere, take a right, FL
    Posts
    4,443

    Talking

    Because people, in general, are jerks... =8-O
    Every mighty oak was once a nut that stood its ground.

    Proud Closet Canterer! Member Riders with Fibromyalgia clique.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    12,265

    Default You positively have a point Sonests...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonesta
    You know, I have been a computer geek from the beginning of PCs, when we had Tandy 1000s (GADS, I'm old!) and I have been active on numerous bulletin boards all this time. In fact, I was the VERY FIRST poster on the COTH board!

    I was thinking today that I have noticed some things about bbs over that time. Seems that the best of boards starts out with a group of folks who are excited to have a group of like-minded folks with which to share. All goes well for a time and then a whole bb society begins to form, cliques begin to spring up. People of one clique begin to pick on people from another clique. Then a few are singled out for torment.

    Pretty soon, a pack mentality develops and the pack tears apart its chosen victim. Defenders jump in and it becomes a rumble. Sometimes it begins a war.

    Inevitably, the bb degenerates into petty nastiness and implodes. Remember warmbloods.net anyone?

    I sure would hate to see this happen on COTH, but that looks like where we are headed. No one seems to feel the slightest hesitation to attack another. I've succumbed to the temptation myself a few times and felt terrible afterwards.

    I wonder WHY this seems to always happen. Do we have any sociologists here that can help explain this awful phenom?
    I am sure its the annonymity factor. I have been guilty of joining in the fray.. I know there are people who post BS and actually do it to get exactly that type of mob reaction out of it.. But Really we never really know what is happening to the person on the recieving end of the typed word.
    Thats what makes me feel bad, I know it is easy to get your feelings hurt by words just as much as if you are face to face.
    I do think I have expressed my dissaproval for how mean some of the talk gets, but I also have participated, not as strongly. I dont know, I bet you there is a study on it.. if there isnt there ought to be..
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    7,171

    Default

    It's the "mob-mentality" dogs do it, horses do it, and people do it. Although since people are "concious" of it (according to popular thought), and the fact that it hurts feelings, we really should be more responsible.

    But yes, I do agree with the above poster. People are jerks.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    6,836

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonesta
    Do we have any sociologists here that can help explain this awful phenom?
    Believe it or not, I have a master's degree in sociology! Alas, part two of your sentence stumps me. I don't know.

    And I have to say that while, in general, I am pretty well behaved, I do deep in my heart, love a trainwreck and occasionally contribute.

    WHY?? Why do I love a trainwreck?? I really don't know, but as someone who loves this board and for the most part tries to remain respectful, well, it is embarassing to admit that I take some weird, twisted pleasure in them. Perhaps it is time for me to to grow up and love them a little less.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 13, 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    101

    Default

    I think a lot of folks are just plain rude. And give them a computer and they become only known by a screen name. No accountability.......I sit and read some pretty nasty replies to threads, and can't believe it. I have been subjected to some nasty things said to me and it not only hurts my feelings, but it pi$$es me off. In the end, I chalk it up to most people are just stupid.
    My question is, would they dare to talk to someone in person like that, or would they choose their words more carefully? Either way, I would not want to spend any more time with them. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Call me old fashioned.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2003
    Location
    Nokesville, VA USA
    Posts
    520

    Default

    I think that being relatively anonymous takes away the veneer of polite behavior and people say whatever they want. And some of them are vain, nasty and petty so that's what comes out.
    Julia in Nokesville, VA



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Posts
    22,455

    Default

    I noticed it too. I joined this BB years ago and it was a much different "place". Though I admit to a fit of temper now and then, I've just really noticed the number of feeding frenzies have gone up. Usually arguments would be reserved for politically charged subjects, which I guess is normal. But targeting people specifically and then taking enjoyment out of causing suffering - uh - even in my most testy moments I was really only interested in arguing about the subject - not trying to denigrate a person for the fun of it.

    It would be an interesting study, that's for sure.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    12,265

    Exclamation Jswan...

    Quote Originally Posted by J Swan
    I noticed it too. I joined this BB years ago and it was a much different "place". Though I admit to a fit of temper now and then, I've just really noticed the number of feeding frenzies have gone up. Usually arguments would be reserved for politically charged subjects, which I guess is normal.

    It would be an interesting study, that's for sure.
    Feeding Frenzys Thats what it looks like too..
    Gee even us Cyber Bullys on the Slaughter threads were never mean.. just voiced opinions.
    I still say it must be the heat!
    OK Everyone.. Back to the barn, Go ride, Clean tack, Go spend money at the tack shop, Do something nice for someone, and put yourself in the posters position whenever you are tempted to be nasty and hurtful.. I am not saying I am above blame, but I have never been as mean as some folks seem to be lately. I am putting my self in a double twisted wire with a Gag and running martingale!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul. 2, 2005
    Posts
    1,656

    Default

    The sociologist's answer to your question: its called the "risky shift", the tendency to do something risky, or negative, when there is perceived group support http://changingminds.org/explanation...isky_shift.htm


    So those who attack, or are disrespectful, do so because it appears to be tolerated by some, or by a sub-group of people who have the same belief system.
    ********
    There is no snooze button on a cat that wants breakfast.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 22, 2005
    Location
    Hermes
    Posts
    429

    Default Aunt Esther agrees with Sonesta

    Aunt Esther, national and international Purse Champion, agrees with Sonesta. Aunt Esther loves a good train wreck as much as the next person, but only when they are tastefully done. For example, Aunt Esther has always been enamored of last year's Gypsy Vanner thread, which meant no harm and was, indeed, highly educational.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Posts
    22,455

    Default

    Bank of Dad

    Thanks for that explanation. How interesting.


    Sannois -

    Speaking of double twisted wire - guess what I bought the other day? I took the "free" horse out roading - I think we set a new land speed record. Good Lord - what a day - bought a wire bit and will try again. Then I took my regular hunt horse out roading today - and HE was a jerk too!! I'm so mad at the two of them I could just spit.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 2005
    Location
    Folsom, CA
    Posts
    1,462

    Default

    My brother had a Tandy 1000! and a Radio Shack something...and I've been posting on the internet since IRC days (and used this same screen name), circa 1995.

    Definitely the anonymity factor...it's very easy to say nasty things when you don't have to look someone in the eye. I get sucked in, too...I'm all over that thread. However, in my defense...I don't think I've said anything particularly nasty to the poster in question (I did point out a couple things I thought were odd though). I generally try to avoid personal attacks, unless you've really, really pissed me off about something that's very personal to me or I've completely lost my patience with you. Mostly I join in on jokes and snarkiness that kind of make fun of a lot of people, myself included (ie, the arab stereotypes). Also, while I don't do it here for some reason, on other boards I sign my real name so it's pretty easy to figure out who I am.

    I'm sure someone will pounce and point out the bad things I've said or done, but all I can say is...I'm a sinner. Sometimes I slip. I try to make up for it by being pretty nice and helpful the rest of the time.
    Jennifer Walker
    Proud owner of Capt Han Solo+, Arabian stallion http://www.capthansolo.com
    Author, freelance writer http://www.authorjennwalker.com



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2004
    Location
    Six-burgh baby!
    Posts
    3,805

    Default

    I see things both ways.

    People are stupid and people are jerks.

    Stupid people post anonymously things that they wouldn't dare admit to your face.

    Jerky people anonymously point out all your mistakes and laugh at you.

    Seriously, it goes both ways. I posted in the H/J forum about my horse shows and my fears...no one, not one single person, had anything bad to say even though in the pix I posted most probably twitched uncontrollably (I know I do every time I look at them...nerves, can't help it, but it's there in photo for the picking). Thing is, they knew I wasn't posting about how I looked but about the fact that I was proud of myself for doing it...so they just said congrats and moved on.

    I'm not stupid enough to ask what everyone thought of my riding. If I did ask, I would expect to be beat down. Just like I wouldn't ask for a critique on a horse to be used for jumping that had his head and neck on upside down, his feet on backwards and his knees bent like hocks. The response would be appropriate and should be expected.

    Now, if I were to post here asking the potential of that upside down crooked backwards horse as a H/J then posted on another board about all our success showing over fences this year then on another board posted how I've been out of the saddle for the last 3 months due to said horse not performing well (gee ya think?!) and then posted on another board how he's in training for dressage and has been since I bought him - well, guess what...that's really stupid. Someone is bound to see this info and is bound to point it out. Sure, they don't have to but if I'm gonna be that stupid they might as well!

    Human nature is nasty that's for sure. I don't like people much...I prefer my four legged furry friends. However, when there are stupid people abound sometimes I just have to point it out to them. And yes, I do this in person too....just ask my co-workers! They love me for it...they know I'm honest. I also ask them to tell me when I'm being stupid - it happens to all of us. Best thing, when it does, is to stop continuing the stupidity and let things quiet down before trying to resume with some sense of truth. Those that continue to point out the stupidity after you have backed off and have put a foot forward towards not being stupid are the real jerks and they aren't even worth the energy to think about let alone deal with...ignore them and keep going.
    Lord Stanely, Lord Stanley - come back to Pittsburgh!!!
    http://www.chronicleofmyhorse.com/profile/2_tbs
    *** I LOVE PUIKA FAN CLUB***



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2004
    Location
    Virginia. We Do Ponies!
    Posts
    11,962

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KWPN MOM
    I think a lot of folks are just plain rude. And give them a computer and they become only known by a screen name. No accountability.......I sit and read some pretty nasty replies to threads, and can't believe it. I have been subjected to some nasty things said to me and it not only hurts my feelings, but it pi$$es me off. In the end, I chalk it up to most people are just stupid.
    My question is, would they dare to talk to someone in person like that, or would they choose their words more carefully? Either way, I would not want to spend any more time with them. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Call me old fashioned.
    I call you right on.

    Sonesta is so correct when she said folks attach each other.

    Just stick to the original posters topic and contribute on that!!
    Randee Beckman ~Otteridge Farm, LLC (http://on.fb.me/1iJEqvR)~ Marketing Manager - The Clothes Horse & Jennifer Oliver, Equine Insurance Specialist



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep. 27, 2000
    Location
    Southern California - on a freeway someplace
    Posts
    9,895

    Default

    One simple rule - Never write anything on a public BB that you wouldn't say while standing in line at the food concession at a horse show, or at a crowded back gate, or even too loudly while at your your local feed store.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 1, 2000
    Posts
    2,879

    Default

    The study of group psychology, in the very large groups we have in this century, is brand new science. In general, large group organizations are said to behave psychotically- often out of touch with the reality and one part literally not knowing and unable to control, the workings of other parts. The primitive social interactions of groups, such as pack mentality and extreme viciousness seen in group swarmings on the net or IRL- are just that- primitive. You see them in large groups of rats in laboraties.

    As a psychiatrist, I am fascinated by the idea that on BB's, people can have intense social interactions with many more people than they might have otherwise in real life. And get intense and varied feedback that is often lacking IRL. And with a little luck, we learn from this. Human beings are just learning to live in huge global society. And we're not very good at it yet, or we wouldn't be hovering on the edge of nuclear war again.

    The web has the potential for amplifying human function in groups. One hopes that evolution is in play and that this amplification will be for the betterment and survival of the species.

    I believe the web may be the first step in developing some sort of group "consciousness", hopefully not as scarey as the Borg...



    At least on a BB, we are unlikely to kill anyone, even though figurative trainwrecks are a dime a dozen. And it is a wonderful opportunity to learn more about how to get along in groups. Threads like this one, which I currently think is a highly evolved meta annalysis of the social workings of BB's.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
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    12,265

    Thumbs up J...

    Quote Originally Posted by J Swan
    Bank of Dad

    Thanks for that explanation. How interesting.


    Sannois -

    Speaking of double twisted wire - guess what I bought the other day? I took the "free" horse out roading - I think we set a new land speed record. Good Lord - what a day - bought a wire bit and will try again. Then I took my regular hunt horse out roading today - and HE was a jerk too!! I'm so mad at the two of them I could just spit.
    Well at least you know it will be a Lively season!!
    Nice that your doing well, Hope the boys behave!!!
    I always have visions of Cooky Mcclung, I have been reading one of her books, and her hunt stories and horse are just the best.. Great writer!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    12,265

    Thumbs up This

    Quote Originally Posted by Peggy
    One simple rule - Never write anything on a public BB that you wouldn't say while standing in line at the food concession at a horse show, or at a crowded back gate, or even too loudly while at your your local feed store.
    is excellent advise!!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2005
    Posts
    2,000

    Smile

    Everyone can be an expert on the BB (some really have the creditentials and some dont....)

    Of course that is my expert opinion ;-}



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