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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Aug. 4, 2004
    Posts
    197

    Default

    When my mare tries to get out of lateral work by cantering and being generally wiggly:

    "I'm going to sell you to a 12-year-old girl who will make you run barrels and poles."



  2. #42
    Join Date
    Mar. 23, 2005
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    4,182

    Default

    Oh, my other favorite, said to bucking/rearing/spinning/whatever horse: "You really DON'T want me off your back...."

    I only had to prove this to my TB a couple of times - I jumped off (when it became obvious that I was coming off one way or the other ) and yelled and waved my arms and generally made him think he was about to die. Then I got back on and proceded calmly with work. He learned that he really, really DOESN'T want me off until I'M ready to get off.



  3. #43
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2002
    Location
    Chesterton, IN US
    Posts
    1,326

    Default

    My favorite: "I brought you into this world. I can take you out again!" (She's a homebred).

    I once threatened to turn a TB named Fancy That in to cat food because she wasn't good enough to be dog food. (Her barn nickname became Fancy Feast).



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Posts
    1,830

    Default

    I threaten mine with being sold to a beginner lesson program.



  5. #45
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2005
    Location
    York County, PA & Unity, ME
    Posts
    694

    Default

    when my horse runs well actually walks just fast enough that i cant catch him in the field i just say FINE BE THAT WAY and walk towards the gate. then he slowly starts to follow me like ohh she's mad now.
    "Riding a horse is not a hobby to be picked up & laid down, it is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole & once it has done so, he will have to accept his life will be radically changed." - RWE



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Jan. 9, 2003
    Location
    IN
    Posts
    4,199

    Default well...

    When I'm fed up with mine, I say "Don't make me beat you!" My farrier says, "yeah right." I was at another farm getting ready for a lesson one time and my mare kept pawing in the wash stall. After telling her to quit about 3 times just to have her immediately restart each time, I told her "don't make me beat you!" She stopped immediately and didn't restart. I turned to the instructor in horror and said "I don't beat her, really!" Instructor just laughed.
    Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Nov. 16, 2004
    Location
    NE Indiana
    Posts
    5,530

    Default

    Our fat little pony got into some chick feed yesterday, which of course resulted in an emergency vet call. I told him he's going to have to do pony rides at birthday parties all summer to pay off that bill.



  8. #48
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2004
    Location
    north San Diego County
    Posts
    2,399

    Default

    Well, MY horses are all perfect so I, of course, never have to threaten them!

    (erm, well, okay, every now and then it's possible that they might be bad. I'm partial to "You do NOT want me to have to come over there!" when Brandy is trying to dig to China while I clean her stall and my husband had the classic line to Sera-whom he does NOT get along with-one night when coming home from a brutal but unsuccessful day of archery hunting "you know Horse, you're bigger than an elk, closer to the freezer, and it would cost less to eat you than feed you" Cracked me up since I know he'd never do it. The funny thing was that Sera didn't try to run him over for a good week after that!)



  9. #49

    Default

    Ah, there are many, but I think my favorite was the one Mr. 17handtb - the non-horsey person - threatened the Big Red Golden Retriever with when BRGR would not stop trying to eat his jacket sleeve:

    "Hey, buddy. I'm warning ya. You. Me. Breeders Cup 2007. It WILL happen. And I'm gonna ride ya there, too."



  10. #50
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2005
    Posts
    2,002

    Default

    A friend of mine used to threaten mine with "Don't make me call Bill Cosby. You know he loves Jello."
    "Wost Case Ontario..."



  11. #51
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,213

    Default

    To my little yearling colt it's "You know those poor slobs known as geldings? You know how quickly you can join them?"
    For Stormy it's "You think you have problems now? Wait until I sell you. THEN you'll have problems" (as he's pretty damn lame)
    For Arion and his little terrible two stage "Does it look like your pissy fit is getting to me? Remember, you bite me, I bite harder."
    In my opinion, a horse is the animal to have. 1300 pounds of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs - it's something you just can't get from a pet hamster.



  12. #52
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2006
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    After the show in which the stallion I ride ran over the judge, I threatened to never let him breed again. He must have understood because he was a complete angel at the next one.



  13. #53
    Join Date
    Feb. 9, 2006
    Location
    ol Virginny
    Posts
    1,649

    Default

    I threaten mine with if you don't behave I'm going to advertise you FREE to a BAD home"!
    Of course it strikes terror into their hearts and they immediately behave. NOT!



  14. #54
    Join Date
    May. 17, 2000
    Location
    Where am I and what am I doing in this handbasket?
    Posts
    23,441

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kementari
    Oh, my other favorite, said to bucking/rearing/spinning/whatever horse: "You really DON'T want me off your back...."
    Oh yea, I'm good for the "If you get me off your back, you better make damn sure I can't get up..." [this is also good for kick me/bite me]

    And for any potential escapees heading down the driveway "If you go down that driveway, you better make damn sure you find a good home!'
    Definition of "Horse": a 4 legged mammal looking for an inconvenient place and expensive way to die. Any day they choose not to execute the Master Plan is just more time to perfect it. Be Very Afraid.



  15. #55
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    731

    Default

    These are great!

    I just threaten to sell them all to the soap factory.

    I'm also known to yell at them "don't make me beat you" which of course terryfies them into immediate submission (yeah right)



  16. #56
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2001
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    359

    Default

    I have always threatened mine with "You COULD be pulling a cart around Downtown and actually EARN your keep!"

    And "Its a good thing your cute!" Oh, no, thats the husband, er uhm and the horse and the dog....
    "Shoot low Sheriff! She rides a fast pony!"



  17. #57
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Shangri-La
    Posts
    364

    Talking

    "Saddlebreds look lovely in harness. They worked all day long on plantations way before they went into the show ring. And, sweetheart, your breeding has more working lines than show lines. And we have a big field out back. And gas for the tractor is expensive. Think it over."
    The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlive it -- William James



  18. #58
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2002
    Location
    Dungeon of the Ivory Tower
    Posts
    20,394

    Default

    Not such a big threat to any other horse, perhaps. I simply remind him where his Peep Source comes from. Hence his willing, amiable nature.
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues




  19. #59
    Join Date
    Dec. 6, 2003
    Location
    Horse Country, USA
    Posts
    3,117

    Default

    'I will trade you in for a polo pony!' (Haha, very threatening, I know.)

    'I will kick you back!'

    *Snaps teeth when bitten at*
    <><



  20. #60
    Join Date
    Jul. 30, 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    10,660

    Default

    To Quest, who i swear understands english... 'You're not too cute to shoot!!'

    To Lilly, the retired one. 'You know how easily I can bring you back into work?'

    Just thought of another one I use: 'Just cause I bought you dosn't mean I have to keep you..'
    Horse Show Names Free name website with over 6200 names. Want to add? PM me!



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