Threats you make to your horse, perferably funny/sarcastic
I have been threatening to blindfold Ami for awhile now. Theoretically, if she was blindfolded, she really wouldn't need to look where she was going so she would bend very well. In reality, she'd freak, rear, walk backwards, and we'd go off of a cliffe.
Also the "I'm going to sell you!" When she won't let me catch her.
"OMG if you weren't so cute and your dad didn't like you so much, I'D KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!" Said very loud, through gritted teeth, while trying to control two-year-old pissy chestnut filly in heat and apologize to farrier who is thinking basically the same thing.
COTH's official mini-donk enabler
"I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl
We are near Amish farmland, and I've been known to brandish a postcard of a hard-working horse pulling a buggy or a team plowing a field, and threatened "This could be your next job if you don't like the program here". I feel better then,and horse could care less as postcard is clearly neither treat nor toy!
Greytown, New Zealand (a blip on the landscape really :))
"I stamp my feet at you!!" - actually, they listen to that one and look all sweet and sorry for themselves like little lost puppydogs.
"Oh, are we having a Jellimeat moment, hmmmm?" - that one has my trainer rolling around the ground laughing - as I say it to (1) her son (2) her stallion (that I am riding) (3) any of the dogs and (4) any other horse that I am working... trouble is, I've started saying it at work as well
To my sister's gelding Java (to the tune of Jimmy Buffet) "Java Burgers in Paradise".
To my crochety old mare it's a yell "MARE" and a growl or snort. Sometime she snorts back. There's no telling her what to do at this age- or so she thinks actually I think she *thinks* her name is mare.
Most of the time it stomping feet and growling, it always gets their attention. Otherwise it's "You know there's an auction every Thursday night not to far from here!"