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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 12, 2001
    Location
    Hotlanta
    Posts
    5,896

    Wink NASTY barn visitor...now morphed into a discussion of class, and lack thereof

    Background: remember my rant about the 17 y/o boarder leaving grain out, and my horse getting into it? Fortunately, they now keep the grain in the feed room but still don't think the staff capable of feeding it, so 17 y/o's mom comes out every night to do it. Ah well, it's HER big SUV at $3.20 a gallon, not mine.

    Tonight the mom brought along her sister, whose daughter does the "A" circuit, gets the "best" everything, etc. Y'all know the type. I was minding my own business when I heard the sister whispering, "The stall is disgusting. It smells!" Well, 17 y/o's horse is a pig in the worst possible way, and had been in the stall for most of the day. Stall was cleaned at 9 a.m; it was now 8 p.m. I felt like handing over my pitchfork so the sister could remedy the obvious atrocity of poop piles in the stall, but I bit my tongue.

    Next, 17 y/o's mom asked her sister to get some more hay for the horse. The sister grabbed 3-4 flakes and was toting them to the stall when I stopped her and said, "Whoa, she doesn't need that much." The horse still had hay in the stall from what she got at "regular" dinner time. Well, if looks could kill, I'd have been struck dead. Fortunately, 17 y/o's mom agreed with my assessment, and the sister RELUCTANTLY gave up ONE flake from her pile. I thought it appropriate to point out that the BO recently sent out a letter to all boarders stating that NO ONE except the staff was to feed hay to the horses. (Mid-quality hay is now $5.25 a bale, the good stuff $8.50, and boarders have been feeding it freely to horses that DON'T need anything more than what the staff gives them).

    When I got done explaining all this, the sister said, "Well, that's a shame. They're foraging animals and they should have food in front of them ALL the time." 17 y/o's mom defended the barn by saying how inexpensive the board is, so she "doesn't mind." The sister told her about the barn SHE boards at, which is only $100 more and "they get GREAT care." She added that she would "rather pay more and not have to argue over a flake of hay."

    Obviously, this woman has a right to her opinion, but I think she had a DAMN lot of nerve to walk into a barn and proceed to talk about what a sh!tty place she thought it was, WITHIN EARSHOT, and DIRECTLY TO, a client of that barn (me!). She's lucky the BO wasn't around, because I'm pretty sure she would have been asked to leave. I would have done it myself if other boarders had been present. No paying client should have to listen to that bullsh!t.

    Luckily, 17 y/o's mom finally put a stop to it by saying, "Let's go get ice cream," and steered her sister out of the barn.

    I was so mad, I couldn't see straight. I did go the defensive route, which obviously didn't work. Perhaps I should have said something like, "Here, let me show you where we bury all the horses that die of malnutrition!" or something equally ignorant/appalling.

    Now I'm wondering if I should I tell the BO about this. I do think she should know someone came on the property and started badmouthing the place in front of clients (only me, fortunately). On the other hand, I'm sure her blood pressure is high enough...

    Sometimes, the business end of the pitchfork just isn't sharp enough...nor the opposite end long enough.
    Last edited by SBT; May. 30, 2006 at 08:03 PM.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 30, 2004
    Location
    Prescott Valley, AZ
    Posts
    606

    Default

    Don't get mad at people like that, they just don't know any better. They're the type born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and have never had to take it out to see reality. I wouldn't say anything to the BO, especially if she's already stressed. At least you were able to restrain yourself. She obviously is used to a wasteful lifestyle, like many wealthy people in this industry, and can't understand when those of use who live hand to mouth have to actually scrimp on some things.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 12, 2001
    Location
    Hotlanta
    Posts
    5,896

    Default

    DG, I don't think it was "rich-person syndrome" as much as a general holier-than-thou attitude regarding horse care. Like, how dare the horse (who is somewhat pudgy) not have a whole bale in front of it, and how dare there be a single turd in the stall...we are ABUSING this animal! And this woman is THE expert, compelled by her innate humanity to speak out on behalf of the poor, voiceless horses...

    You know, THAT kind of person.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr. 30, 2004
    Location
    Prescott Valley, AZ
    Posts
    606

    Default

    I know the kind of person you speak of. In MY own experience it has come with the ones with more money than brains. Granted, that isn't always the case. People don't realize that different horses need different feed programs. Such is the case at the barn I have Chase at. They're used to WB easy-keepers not needing much grain, and are telling me I need to cut his grain more than in half. I'm giving them a month on their program, and if he loses ANY weight, it's back to my way.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov. 8, 2000
    Location
    Upper Bucks County, PA
    Posts
    3,021

    Default

    Well I will comment about the stall thing...a lot of barns, particularly the "A" show barns I've been in, clean stalls in the morning and at least pick them again at night, if not at lunch too. Especially if the horses are in a lot.

    I keep my guys on my own and boy does it make stalls easier in the morning if we've picked them late afternoon and at bed check (my guys go out all morning and come in at lunch - their choice ).

    I'd imagine I might have thought (notice I said "thought" instead of said) the same thing - stalls do get pretty disgusting if they haven't been picked all day, the horse has been in the most of the day, and is messy to boot.
    Kelly Soldavin Harvest Moon Farm
    www.harvestmoonfarmpa.com



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,712

    Default

    ohhh give them a break... twelve hours between stall cleaning is a terribly long time. I feel sorry for the horse to have a, been kept in it's stall for this long and b, for not having had it's stalled cleaned earlier.

    As for her comment about horses needing food in front of them all the time.. I don't have a problem with that.. all our horses have food in front of them. I Certainly would give my horse 4 flakes of hay to keep him busy over night.

    In regards to the mom feeding the horse each day - i certainly don't expect anyone else to look after my horse for me.. and perhaps she genuinly likes the horse and spending time with it - it's her decision, not yours.

    Back off... MYOB Go ride your horse and stop worrying about the other people.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2004
    Location
    Loudoun County, VA
    Posts
    10,427

    Default

    When my horses are stalled, I never want to see them without hay, and I would rather have to throw out a bit of hay in the morning than have them standing around without hay. Plenty of hay and water, among other things, helps stave off colic and keeps them from developing bad habits out of boredom. I do not board my horses but if I did I would rather pay extra to make sure the horse has adequate hay than quibble about how much hay he / she can have.

    And if the stall in fact smelled, it is not being cleaned well enough. Stalls should not smell.

    While I wouldn't do as this visitor did, as it is really none of her business how someone else manages a barn where she does not even board, I do not think her general viewpoint regarding the hay or stall cleaning is illegitimate.

    Regarding whether wealth correlates with rudeness; I have no idea what kind of "wealthy" people some of you are hanging out with but I wouldn't make assumptions about people's character based on how prvileged they may be. And you might stop to think for a minute that at least some of these privileged types did not get that way because they are dumb and lazy shi*s. If you flame me for this, so be it. I can't stand that "oh she's rich, therefore "X" attitude."



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,712

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YankeeLawyer
    When my horses are stalled, I never want to see them without hay, and I would rather have to throw out a bit of hay in the morning than have them standing around without hay. Plenty of hay and water, among other things, helps stave off colic and keeps them from developing bad habits out of boredom. I do not board my horses but if I did I would rather pay extra to make sure the horse has adequate hay than quibble about how much hay he / she can have.

    And if the stall in fact smelled, it is not being cleaned well enough. Stalls should not smell.

    While I wouldn't do as this visitor did, as it is really none of her business how someone else manages a barn where she does not even board, I do not think her general viewpoint regarding the hay or stall cleaning is illegitimate.

    Regarding whether wealth correlates with rudeness; I have no idea what kind of "wealthy" people some of you are hanging out with but I wouldn't make assumptions about people's character based on how prvileged they may be. And you might stop to think for a minute that at least some of these privileged types did not get that way because they are dumb and lazy shi*s. If you flame me for this, so be it. I can't stand that "oh she's rich, therefore "X" attitude."
    Great post. I agree.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Posts
    22,446

    Default

    Some people just don't have any manners.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2000
    Posts
    24,408

    Default

    why are YOU all upset by what some visitors said? it isn't any of your business if someone else is griping about the barn, and it CERTAINLY isn't anything for you to get THAT mad about.

    and since when did it become YOUR business to enforce the barn rules? if the staff isn't there, did they appoint you? and IF they did, why would you ever accept such a duty? it's the quickest way to getting into trouble that i know of.

    crap goes on all the time at boarding barns and people are always complaining. get used to it. that means - IGNORE IT. would you be freaking out if you were in a grocery store, and someone said they didn't like the tomato sauce display? get a grip.

    at boarding barns, here's what you do. go to the barn. ride your horse. leave. on the first of the month, pay your bill. and STAY OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE'S BUSINESS! unless you want a lot of trouble, handle it that way. you'll be a lot happier.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,677

    Default

    I agree with slc2. For YOUR sake, I would accept that you just don't like these folks and learn to ignore them. Unless they are a immediate threat to the safety and welfare of others, there really is no reason to be involved with them.

    I do sympathize having been at a barn with an annoying father/daughter pair who knew everything about every horse living on earth and broadcast their unsolicited knowledge at the top of their lungs. It wasn't easy, but I learned to ignore them and I was much happier once I did. So don't engage and don't get involved.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2001
    Location
    Oxford PA
    Posts
    10,337

    Default

    **IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!** You don't run the barn. You don't own the barn. You should NOT take it upon yourself to tell others what to do. It is not your place to tell anyone the rules, nor your place to try to enforce them. It is also not your place to tattle to the barn owner. Grow up.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,797

    Wink Don't stress over what you can't change.

    And you'll never change Sister Sweetness. So smile sweetly, and if you have to say something, make it drip with honey. Then go about your business and ignore her.

    There are thirty-leven million people like this in the horse world. If you're going to have a meltdown every time you meet one, you're going to have lots of ulcers.

    JMO.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 5, 2005
    Location
    henryville Pa
    Posts
    751

    Default

    well, if the BO asks if i know about anyone taking hay, i would tell her who did, so i would not get blamed for it. it all depends on the relationship you have with the Barn and the BO. if you are friends, then maybe i would tell her about it. if you are not that close, then let things be.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 15, 2006
    Location
    somewhere out on the dusty trail ;)
    Posts
    271

    Default i've only been at a couple barns...

    so i always find it interesting to read the posts on barn politics (sp?) i really have no comment on the post itself i guess, just more of a general comment, on how very differnt we all percieve "caring for horses".
    the first barn i was at was self care, and WOW was i shocked at the different level of "care" the horses recieved !!
    i found some people honestly, don't seem to think horses need to eat on a daily basis. they seem to think heck, they do fine in a field in the wild, they'll be fine if i don't bring them in from the field and grain them or give them hay for a few days, despite the fact that theres only yucky scrub grass out there.
    worse yet, some people will leave their horse in their stalls and not feed them for a whole day, and say the next day, "well i just got caught up with stuff" you what? omg.
    and some people think that it's fine to stand thier horses around thier stalls 24/7. as in they never ever ever take them out.
    now yes, i understand that some of these are show horses, and aw jeeze, you wouldn't want a boo boo on them, or a scar, and you wouldnt want them lame just in time for the show, or heaven forbid, their tail or mane tangled (yes, i'm being an azz, i have nothing against show peeps honestly, i'm just still having my morning coffee and that's their choice, but you have peeps who do it , um, just cuz. i've seen horses getting fed like they were eating for ten, and still have bones showing, why? cuz they lost so much muscle tone sittin in that darned stall 24 seven.
    at least it was a clean stall, cleaned twice a day even.
    cuz then you have peeps who think maybe you don't need to clean a stall but twice a month. crankies, i couldn't even hardly breathe when i walked past it !! and there they are, pan feeding their horses, off the floor ( cuz its better for them they say, more natural) and i wonder how the horses, two in question, arn't passing out, and how thier feet arnt falling off from the mightiest case of thrush to ever hit the face of the earth. it was crazy !!
    i wrote them a letter, asking them to please clean the stalls, listing all the health reasons why the should, signed it from thier horses, and stuck it on the front of thier stalls, cuz im the non confrontational type. it worked for a while.
    now i'm at a full board barn, different kind of peeps, all the horses are cared for in the same manner, and whenever i tie my horses to the hitchin post to groom and tack, i steal some hay to keep them ocupied. honestly, it has NEVER occured to me that the BO might be unhappy about this, i'll have to ask him. he has big buckets of treats in the feedrom to which i also steal for my horses on a regular basis, however, i also contribute to his treat rations, at the begining of the month i buy him a 10 pound bag of apple treats and two 5 pound buckets of nicker makers, so, i don't really feel to bad about that.
    anyhow my, oh yeah, what was my point? i think it was just how really differnt people are when it comes to caring for the horses, what one person might have a cow about another might think is perfectly acceptable, so i'm agreeing or disagreeing with the op, just babbeling i guess lol.
    maybe i shouldnt post before my first cup of coffee.
    and oh yeah, i guess the ONLY thing we really can do when we don't like where were at barn wise, is move... its why i'm at where i am now
    Little Wishes Pony Parties

    "Cause don't the sunshine lay the brightest on the shoulders of the wild?
    And don't the breeze blow the sweetest on the face of its own child?"

    kris delmhorst



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2000
    Posts
    24,408

    Default

    taste of reality helps too. there are very few boarding barns that would agree that your horse needs to have hay in front of him 24/7.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 1999
    Location
    Talk Derby to Me
    Posts
    2,334

    Default

    I think you are the one who is being rude and nasty, SBT. It's none of your business what these people are doing or who they invite to the barn. The only exception would be if their actions are dangerous.
    Still Crazy After All These Years



  18. #18
    Join Date
    May. 16, 2006
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    1,308

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DressageGuy
    Don't get mad at people like that, they just don't know any better. They're the type born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and have never had to take it out to see reality. I wouldn't say anything to the BO, especially if she's already stressed. At least you were able to restrain yourself. She obviously is used to a wasteful lifestyle, like many wealthy people in this industry, and can't understand when those of use who live hand to mouth have to actually scrimp on some things.
    Money means nothing, My husband and I are wealthy and my daughter would get knocked the f*** out if she EVER spoke to someone like that. Then when she woke up, I would send her to their house to scrub their toilets for a week. I HATE snobby children. And while Mom did try to intervene, she obviously lets too much slide. Also, its obvious the kid really doesnt love horses...everyone knows horse poop smells good! (:



  19. #19
    Join Date
    May. 16, 2006
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    1,308

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YankeeLawyer
    When my horses are stalled, I never want to see them without hay, and I would rather have to throw out a bit of hay in the morning than have them standing around without hay. Plenty of hay and water, among other things, helps stave off colic and keeps them from developing bad habits out of boredom. I do not board my horses but if I did I would rather pay extra to make sure the horse has adequate hay than quibble about how much hay he / she can have.

    And if the stall in fact smelled, it is not being cleaned well enough. Stalls should not smell.

    While I wouldn't do as this visitor did, as it is really none of her business how someone else manages a barn where she does not even board, I do not think her general viewpoint regarding the hay or stall cleaning is illegitimate.

    Regarding whether wealth correlates with rudeness; I have no idea what kind of "wealthy" people some of you are hanging out with but I wouldn't make assumptions about people's character based on how prvileged they may be. And you might stop to think for a minute that at least some of these privileged types did not get that way because they are dumb and lazy shi*s. If you flame me for this, so be it. I can't stand that "oh she's rich, therefore "X" attitude."
    I agree, but the kid still had no right to glare at SBT



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 24, 2005
    Location
    Pullman, Washington
    Posts
    2,254

    Default

    This is an interesting situation.

    I think bad mouthing a barn AT the barn is very rude. If your going to talk about the barn, get out of ear shot first.

    Getting defensive happens. You like it there(?), you would be protective of it.



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