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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,812

    Default Must be patient -or- Can I wait out soon-to-be ex-boarder?? Longish.

    Has anyone who is or has been a BO had a boarder give notice, then turn into a nightmare before they left?? Is it really that common? Of the three boarders I've had give proper notice and leave, one is my barn and house sitter when I need one, one caters my parties and the other I meet for lunch once a week - I consider all three friends.

    I have a boarder who is certainly not a perfect boarder, but they (mom and daughter, daughter is horsey) gave me verbal notice at the beginning of May that they are moving to the Pony Club barn. Fine, I am happy for them that an opening came up, etc etc and all is well. I knew for months they were trying to get into PC, and since I am an ammie I knew they would be happier there. Fit in better as well, daughter is typical teenager and there has always been a feeling of tension because DH and I are both rubbed raw by her attitude towards her horse and other people, mainly us.

    Then, in the middle of the month when they pay board, I get a very curtly worded written notice. Whatever, I figured the mom scribbled one out on notebook paper thinking I needed one.

    I was gone last weekend visiting family, and the older teenager who took care of my horses informed me during a checkup call that the teenager cussed her out for not mucking the stalls before school, and that the mom was a rude creature as well regarding a gate latch they broke. I was not happy but vowed to not say anything because they will gone in less than two weeks, right?

    On Monday, I bring the horses in and see that a dress sheet was left on the mare (for whatever reason ) was making her severely wither-sore to the point of swelling, so I removed it. On Tuesday I go out to the barn after work to explain why I took the dress sheet off, and they had a very Grey Poupon nose-in-the-air attitude ("oh, well, what-evah"). I went back into my house, and when I came back out that evening they had unlocked my feedroom (I keep the key halfway hidden), fed the horse another horse's beetpulp along with way more hay than she normally gets and left the feedroom unlocked. Again, I had to choke back the urge to say anything and just resolved to keep the key with me until they left, as I had started locking the feedroom because the daughter would go in and dig through the feed and supplements for everyone for no reason other than boredom and she is nosy, and it made me nervous.

    So, tonight I go out to feed after a lovely, relaxing dinner out and see this note on my board: "Horse" obviously has not been fed as the feedroom is locked. I wanted to let you know because I left her in after I rode her. "Boarder." Obviously?? Well, yeah, obviously, seeing that I have always fed all the horses together, in the barn, at the same time of the evening and everyone else was still outside. So why leave the note at all? Oh, and mare has the dress sheet on again, even though I explained it was too large and that was what caused her to be wither-sore and that wither-sore was a bad thing.

    Seriously, I should bite my tongue until the 1st, right? I stomped around the barn tonight growling to myself about it, because while I've experienced some vile boarders in my life as a BM, it's a first at my own personal barn...and I have a year of frustration at this folks built up and no Mr TheJenners to reel me in. So biting my tongue and letting them go thinking they have proven something is the right idea, right? Right?
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 13, 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,468

    Default

    Yeah been there done this. The teenage attitude gets to you after awhile though. That and the using my stuff (my only caveat was "put it back, please") and then keeping it.....gloves, shoes,polo wraps, boots...the list is endless.I don't bother having any boarders here anymore. It's not worth the hassle.

    Is that their horse they are leaving a sheet on? If so, then hold your tongue on that one. They are likely viewing you as looking down on them and trying to prove you know better then they do (egos are a PITA )
    But when it comes to your barn, your stuff, and your horses, don't bother keeping quiet. Be civil, but firm. They will go eventually.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    7,132

    Default You Must Contain the Happy Dance Until They Leave

    I think you have posted about this pair before. As a BO, I can relate to the situation. I had a mother/daughter pair who I had to terminate. Actually the daughter was great, but the mother was incredibly difficult. It took great restraint on my part to wait our their departure, particularly given the mother's pettiness and snarky comments. Like you, I had to keep the feedroom key away from them. I was not interested in getting stressed out with scenes and making the other boarders feel uncomfortable. I do admit that I did do a happy dance when their trailer drove down the driveway.

    The irony, of course, is that the mother has gotten herself thrown out of several other barns since. When the stories get back to me, I just smile to myself.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    8,497

    Default

    Oh, that typical teenager comment stings!! I would NEVER be that horrible, to my BM or my poor horse.

    I boarded for about a year at one barn, and I absolutely loved it. I like to think that I didn't cause many problems....I helped out where I could (helping to feed, bringing horses in when people didn't show up) and I think people were sad....I was invited to still trailer up for lessons, anyway!

    As for the pair...you've only got a little while left, right? Keeping the feedroom locked is a good idea for now, and maybe, if it's getting to bother you so much, you could make up a "rule sheet", and just stick little rules in there that would make it "illegal" for her to do some of the things she's doing.

    Now just cross your fingers and pray that she gets that spot at the other barn, and actually leaves!!!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2005
    Location
    Old Post Farm: home of site champions Freshman SPF, Freihanna, and Wimbelton!
    Posts
    34

    Wink

    Oh Boy! one of those situations, where you get a knot in your stomach everytime you see them pull up in the drive or you go out to the barn?
    Hopefully they will be out by June 1. I agree that altho we hate to implement "rules" they make for happier boarders when they know what is expected on BOTH sides of the fence!
    As for the sheet, you know they are going to the PC, and are pumped-up about their new "equestrian status", altho I would remind them of what the sheet is doing to the poor horse, it almost becomes a situation, where they know best (they think they do) and no matter what you say wont count.
    Let them sore the poor horse, and then they wont be able to ride in the new Pony Club barn. See who looks the fool then.
    I dont take in any boarders any longer, it makes it much quieter here.
    Good luck, have a margarita & celebrate when they leave!
    Old Post Farm, Home of site champions
    Freshman SPF, Freihanna, and Wimbelton!
    http://community.webshots.com/user/oldpost100



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,812

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IronwoodFarm
    I think you have posted about this pair before.
    Yes, unfortunately, I have.

    Yes, it is her horse they are putting the sheet on. I don't even understand why they are putting it on, it's just a nylon sheet, not waterproof. I don't want to leave it on until the first, it is unfair to the horse but then I also have a rule that I do not blanket or unblanket without a charge (unless it's a medical issue like last week). So either they are putting it on to throw it in my face, or they put it on to make me take it off for free again. So frustrating!
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2005
    Posts
    2,813

    Default

    Make sure they don't leave with a bunch of other people's stuff!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,918

    Angry Absolutely not!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheJenners
    Seriously, I should bite my tongue until the 1st, right? I stomped around the barn tonight growling to myself about it, because while I've experienced some vile boarders in my life as a BM, it's a first at my own personal barn...and I have a year of frustration at this folks built up and no Mr TheJenners to reel me in. So biting my tongue and letting them go thinking they have proven something is the right idea, right? Right?
    Just because they have given notice, does not erase your boarder's obligation to abide by your rules. They are to behave appropriately as long as they are on your premises. If they don't, you have the right to kick them out early, IMO. If they're not willing to follow your rules, then that's breach of boarding contract and enables you to boot their impolite @$$es out in the street. I would. I have. Do NOT let these morons walk on you!
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 20, 2003
    Location
    Hillsborough, NC
    Posts
    1,492

    Default

    From Oldpost: "Let them sore the poor horse, and then they wont be able to ride in the new Pony Club barn. See who looks the fool then."

    Sadly, the Jenners will get the blame....

    Just keep counting down the days - maybe buy some champagne to share with your SO for when you see that trailer hauling their horse off your property.
    Only one cat - must not be totally crazy yet!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 10, 2002
    Location
    Spain
    Posts
    959

    Default

    OOOh!How maddening.I'd be tempted to remove the sheet and tell them they'll get it back when they leave!I'd also like to tell them that if there are any further unpleasant notes/attempts to enter the feedroom etc that they will be required to leave immediately if not sooner!This is your territory they are trying to throw their weight around in,also they sound like idiots lol



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,812

    Default

    They are idiots, unfortunately.

    Well, I have a message on their answering machine, waiting a call back. Apparently the teen stomped around and bad-mouthed me to another boarder for "hiding" the key to the feedroom from her yesterday. Should be fun.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  12. #12
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2005
    Location
    Oahu, Hawaii until we return to the Appling, Ga farm.
    Posts
    916

    Default

    Um, you have more patience than me. I would have been like "you know what, you can just take your horse and leave here by 5pm TOMORROW.......oh, you are paid for 5 more days? I will do the math and give you the money back that you are entitled to."

    I just cannot deal with bratty kids and their mothers who think their children should garnish no respect for adults. Just can't. I dealt with that at another barn........the 13 year old gave me an attitude because I hung out with an older guy she had a crush on. I had to nip that crap in the bud ASAP. Mom did not like me, but you know what, I could really care less. She especially hated me because I took her christmas lights down that she insisted on turning on...in the middle of JULY. Tried telling me I was a rude jerk. Okay, so I posted a sign letting the entire barn know I just saved the barn from burning to a crisp because _______ insisted on plugging in lights in a dusty barn with daisy chained extension cords. What a beast.
    "Lose your temper, lose your horse" -someone wise enough to know better than to pick a fight with a 1200 lb animal that could launch you to the moon.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,918

    Angry

    Quote Originally Posted by TheJenners
    They are idiots, unfortunately.
    Clearly.

    Well, I have a message on their answering machine, waiting a call back. Apparently the teen stomped around and bad-mouthed me to another boarder for "hiding" the key to the feedroom from her yesterday. Should be fun.
    Keeping a key to anything away from someone who's not supposed to have it isn't "hiding" it; it's enforcing rules that these cretins apparently think they're excused from following. Boot them. You'll have no peace until you do. You'll be up nights, wondering what asinine piece of f*&kery they'll get up to, just to make you mad. It may be one of your horses or your other boarders' horses that suffers, if you wait. Personally, I wouldn't give them that chance. They've already demonstrated that they're going to do what they damn well please while on your property, so treat them accordingly.

    Oh, and no refund. They've forfeited that by their behaviour. They should be pleased that you're not charging them a hefty nuisance fee. I'd be sorely tempted.

    JMO.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,812

    Default

    ESG, I love you. *smooch*

    And yes, I'm still waiting on the call back. Doubt I'll get it, but maybe I will. I'm going to tell the mom what my boarder told me, and tell her what has happened from my side of it, and see what she says...and go from there.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,918

    Default

    <blushing> T'weren't nothin'.

    But I'm serious about getting them out of there. In your shoes, I'd be terrified that they'd do something nasty to one of my horses, just to get back at me. Call me paranoid if you will, but I'd boot them, then change all the locks and/or combinations to the locks on the place. Then pop the cork, pour the champagne and let them see you doing the happy dance in their rear view as they leave.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 3, 2006
    Location
    Somewhere cold in Canada
    Posts
    512

    Default

    Sorry you have to deal with this, TheJenners.

    In this case, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Either way, if you boot them early, they'll bad mouth you, but then, they're going to do that anyway. You have to know that if the horse is sored by the dress sheet, they'll blame it on you, because God knows, they'd never do something that would hurt their horse

    Soooo, if you can, boot them early. Life's too short to deal with idiots if you don't have to.
    "Riding: the art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground."

    ~Horsebiters Clique Founder~Drafties~The A Team~Anti-Kohlrahbi Proliferation Group~Elite Closet Canterer...by proxy~



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,812

    Default

    I can't boot them if they won't call me back...and I can't even offer them a refund and trailer them myself because my trucky-poo is waiting for me at the mechanic with a new AC compressor. Drat! If they can get someone else to move them early, I'll still offer the refund.

    I don't think they are the type to do anything to my horses, though I will be here to supervise the leaving. Snitch a brush or flyspray, yes possibly, I can see them doing that. I already know they are bad-mouthing me, so it doesn't really matter I suppose. Not that I care, we run in different circles...I detest the local PC, have never seen one this awful (but that is a rant for a different day ) and my trainer and I have the same opinion of it.

    Uck...
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2005
    Location
    Cascade Foothills
    Posts
    2,360

    Default

    South Whidbey or Oak Harbor Pony Club??

    I ask because I was a member of one of the two in the 90s . . . I don't think I'll say which until you tell me which one you despise!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    May. 13, 2002
    Location
    Ma
    Posts
    589

    Default Show them the door!

    Yup, just recently had this happen and boarder was told to leave asap. YOu don't need the negative attitude in the barn, which is also your home. Trust me, your other boarders will thank you! It just makes everyone uncomfortable. Take the high road, but stick to the facts and give them the shortest notice you feel is fair.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,918

    Lightbulb

    Surely, someone has a pickup truck they'll loan you to haul PITA mom and spawn out of your life? I have at least six friends who'll loan me a tow vehicle at any given time. Get them out. Yesterday. And don't you dare give them any money back; tell them it's your hauling fee.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



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