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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by IdahoRider View Post
    Why not one one wife and multiple husbands?
    My first impulse was to say that having just one husband is a big enough pain in the ass that no woman in her right mind would ever want two or more of them.

    But then I got to wondering and that led to googling, and what do you know, there actually are societies in which polyandry is practiced. Color me surprised.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/health/ar...-sense/272726/

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
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    I'm with you, NoSuchPerson! One man driving you crazy is enough thanks.

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    4 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
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    I've always seen polygamy as legally problematic because how is the man going to guarantee financial support for x number of wives and even more children if there's a breakup for some reason? You'd have to be really wealthy to pull that off.



  4. #24
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    I'd be willing to bet, Paula, that the voluntary polygamous marriages are in the minority by a long shot compared to the arranged marriages.
    Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulaedwina View Post
    IMO many women and one man surely puts the women more in a position of power than the one man.
    This is your opinion because you are looking at it purely as a numbers thing. In a plural marriage there are more women than men, so the women musty have the power. Majority rules, right?

    Wrong. If it were simply a numbers thing, there would be no gender inequality in this country, since women have a numbers advantage over men in the overall population breakdown.

    The female population in this country, pulled from the last census, says that females make up 50.8% of the U.S. population. And yet, females currently hold only 4.6% of the CEO positions in Fortune 500 companies. So if it is merely a numbers thing that denotes power, why aren't women holding more positions of power?

    Look at the Congress. Despite being the majority population, women make up only 18.5% of our current Congress. Why is that if having the majority population gives you the power?
    Sheilah
    Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia
    And
    Sheeple Extraordinaire


    7 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by IdahoRider View Post
    This is your opinion because you are looking at it purely as a numbers thing. In a plural marriage there are more women than men, so the women musty have the power. Majority rules, right?

    Wrong. If it were simply a numbers thing, there would be no gender inequality in this country, since women have a numbers advantage over men in the overall population breakdown.

    The female population in this country, pulled from the last census, says that females make up 50.8% of the U.S. population. And yet, females currently hold only 4.6% of the CEO positions in Fortune 500 companies. So if it is merely a numbers thing that denotes power, why aren't women holding more positions of power?

    Look at the Congress. Despite being the majority population, women make up only 18.5% of our current Congress. Why is that if having the majority population gives you the power?
    Sheilah
    Agreed. Plus religions that promote polygamy probably also mandate female submission to their "spiritual head"
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
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    It is definitely my opinion but it isn't based on numbers it's based on my background. In the Caribbean women were responsible for everything so we had a great deal of power to change the man's mind. He got to be cock of the walk but we dressed him and fed him. LOL! If you saw a man on the street dressed like an idiot the sentiment wasn't "did he dress in the dark", but "why did his wife let him leave the house looking like that?"

    So the tough thing was that women were responsible for everything. The bonus is that you didn't have to fight with your husband to change him, you just told him. A great example was that a few years ago an American friend was moaning about how her husband wasn't eating properly and wouldn't listen to her advice. My West Indian brain couldn't understand the struggle because to me it was a matter of saying to him, "eat this" (put the plate on the table), "take this vitamin" (put the vitamin next to his water). They would just do it. This was the dynamic.

    So in my mind a bunch of women do have the power in the household, not the man. And I still take comfort in the company of these kinds of women.

    Completely explains why I am still single in the US -too pushy.

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    9 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
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    I need a wife ! Can I (female) have more than one male husband ? That would work for me. We could have girls nights, lunch and help with the house kids....Oh to dream...


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
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    As a radical feminist from childhood, I've always thought that polyandry is the way to go. I don't understand polygamy as it demeans women and lets men have everything. But polyandry, well that would be a great thing!


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulaedwina View Post
    My West Indian brain couldn't understand the struggle because to me it was a matter of saying to him, "eat this" (put the plate on the table), "take this vitamin" (put the vitamin next to his water). They would just do it.
    LOL! That doesn't sound like a relationship with your mate. That sounds like a relationship with your child. And I have no desire whatsoever to parent my mate.
    Sheilah
    Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia
    And
    Sheeple Extraordinaire


    6 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
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    That's how we do things, and I get the sense this dynamic exists in a number of cultures. It works really well too LOL! No need to argue or convince your husband to wear his hat in the sun or take his meds -just give it to him. In exchange he stops bullets, fixes cars, kills critters, etc. I must have blown my last boyfriend's mind when, after he told me he forgot his lunch at work, I cooked him a meal and took it to him

    Culture, eh?
    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
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    Advantages of polygamy? There's often someone available to bake you cookies and do your laundry.

    Disadvantages of polygamy? There's often more than one person who wants cookies and their laundry done.

    It is what it is.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
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    I think everyone would be happier if they could do what they want.
    Some would pair up, opposite or same sex, some would make other kinds of more than two arrangements, some would like to go it alone.

    Whatever anyone wanted to do in their private lives, no one else had any to say about it.
    Kind of you make the bed you will sleep in and will be the one that has to live with your decisions.

    There are things that adults should be left to choose for themselves, what we wear, eat and yes, what families we want to be part of, or not be part of.

    No one needs to agree or disagree, everyone free to do what they choose.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
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    I am in a triad and I beleive in the benefits of multiple loves. It certainly can be harder at times since it is two woman sharing one man, but, I have found that all marriages can be hard. I find that nobody can be all for me. It is just very comforting at times to know I have another woman by my side and two of us supporting one man (not financially).


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35
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    Monogamy is not the norm in nature. Polygyny (Not polygamy which is the name of the group of various polyamorous relationships) is seen most in nature. And yes, there are a very few societies which practice polyandry which is one female multiple males.

    The only other primates in the world who are monogamous are Gibbons monkeys, and they are truly monogamous. Humans practice serial monogamy or polygyny on a species wide level.

    From a biological standpoint, it is beneficial to the male to spread his genes to as many females as possible. It is beneficial to the female if she is getting enough resources for herself and her offspring. This is found all over nature.

    Also from a biological standpoint, polyandry is extremely rare because a man is not sure if the children produced in these relationships are their biological children or not. It is very rare in nature, I only know of one instance I think in some sort of prosimians where there is one female and two males, with the males generally being brothers. Usually in polygynous situations the females are related.

    "romantic love" is a western cultural construct.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capall View Post
    Monogamy is not the norm in nature. Polygyny (Not polygamy which is the name of the group of various polyamorous relationships) is seen most in nature. And yes, there are a very few societies which practice polyandry which is one female multiple males.

    The only other primates in the world who are monogamous are Gibbons monkeys, and they are truly monogamous. Humans practice serial monogamy or polygyny on a species wide level.

    From a biological standpoint, it is beneficial to the male to spread his genes to as many females as possible. It is beneficial to the female if she is getting enough resources for herself and her offspring. This is found all over nature.

    Also from a biological standpoint, polyandry is extremely rare because a man is not sure if the children produced in these relationships are their biological children or not. It is very rare in nature, I only know of one instance I think in some sort of prosimians where there is one female and two males, with the males generally being brothers. Usually in polygynous situations the females are related.

    "romantic love" is a western cultural construct.
    We have to take into consideration that humans, while still animals, are a step above them when it comes to procreation instincts.
    While it is interesting to learn how other animals handle mating and producing and caring for their young, humans have other considerations than just that.

    We form societies that do much more than just be there to raise young.
    Humans have a very large species specific drives, only partly driven by sex and forming families.

    I think we should have societies that permit all those expressions, as long as they are between consenting adults, to flourish, whatever specific ways each individual chooses to follow.

    Lets just be glad we are not driven, like black widow spiders, to kill our suitor after mating.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
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    One of my points, bluey, that I didn't outright state, is that people often point to homosexuality being found in non-human primates and in nature at large as well.

    One of my very good friends is a social anthropologist/primatologist and her husband is an evolutionary anthropologist and I myself am an archaeologist. We take into consideration all of nature, especially primates when looking into human behavior.

    Take the emotional aspects out of it, and in the end it's just genes looking to survive. Dawkins even wrote a whole book about it called the selfish gene

    As I said, romantic love is a western cultural construct and is a fairly recent phenomenon. Yes we are "higher beings" but you'd be surprised how many non-human primates and other animals have pretty complex societies.

    Whose to say whose way is better? In the US we have nuclear families with individual families living separate from other family members, other societies have multiple generations living together (something greatly frowned upon in our independent western civilization ideals) and yet others have arranged marriages and multiple spouses. Whose culture is superior? Who has the right to tell one culture what to do and what not to do (barring out-right human rights violations)

    One that was used in a few of my classes as a conundrum: Circumcision. Why are people so aghast at female circumcision yet male circumcision is seen as normal? Why fight against one type and not the other?
    Last edited by Capall; Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:33 AM. Reason: Accidentally wrote "Hawkins" not "Dawkins"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
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    Oct. 20, 2006
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    One that was used in a few of my classes as a conundrum: Circumcision. Why are people so aghast at female circumcision yet male circumcision is seen as normal? Why fight against one type and not the other?
    Well , maybe because circumsized males do not have their entire p*nis removed and are still capable of having an orgasm; as opposed to female genital mutilation, where 90% of victims have their clitoris completely excised and are no longer capable of experiencing sexual pleasure.


    16 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
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    It's the family structure they want. As long as they're all happy, it shouldn't matter to anyone else who/how they marry and live their lives. If someone doesn't like or understand polygamy, then don't participate in it.

    Good for them for finding happiness and love.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
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    Jun. 23, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulaedwina View Post
    It is definitely my opinion but it isn't based on numbers it's based on my background. In the Caribbean women were responsible for everything so we had a great deal of power to change the man's mind. He got to be cock of the walk but we dressed him and fed him. LOL! If you saw a man on the street dressed like an idiot the sentiment wasn't "did he dress in the dark", but "why did his wife let him leave the house looking like that?"

    So the tough thing was that women were responsible for everything. The bonus is that you didn't have to fight with your husband to change him, you just told him. A great example was that a few years ago an American friend was moaning about how her husband wasn't eating properly and wouldn't listen to her advice. My West Indian brain couldn't understand the struggle because to me it was a matter of saying to him, "eat this" (put the plate on the table), "take this vitamin" (put the vitamin next to his water). They would just do it. This was the dynamic.

    So in my mind a bunch of women do have the power in the household, not the man. And I still take comfort in the company of these kinds of women.

    Completely explains why I am still single in the US -too pushy.

    Paula

    I think I am secretly west indian! LOL!!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

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