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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2011
    Posts
    55

    Default advice wanted: polite way to tell coach I am stopping group lessons?

    Dear COTHers,

    Seeking advice on how to tell the coach that travels to coach at the barn I ride at that I will no longer be joining in on weekly group lessons/jump schools?

    I'm not really known for my tact and I've actually never had to have this conversation with a riding coach before.

    It would be simple if I were moving, could not afford, etc., but it is a coaching issue that has made me decide that the arrangement isn't working.

    Please instruct me on how to be tactful! This is someone I will still be seeing regularly, and I'm not sure how to proceed. I really don't like conflict, and want to make this is easy as possible for both coach and self. I don't feel like I need to air the issues, just want to let her know I won't be in the lessons from here on.

    (I searched for similar threads but didn't have any luck.)



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2012
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    77

    Default

    "I'm going to take a break from lessons for a little while, so I won't be in the lesson starting next week"


    11 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 20, 2011
    Posts
    1,192

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Toaster View Post
    "I'm going to take a break from lessons for a little while, so I won't be in the lesson starting next week"
    Short, sweet, to the point, and bonus -- relatively pleasant!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2012
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    1,214

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Toaster View Post
    "I'm going to take a break from lessons for a little while, so I won't be in the lesson starting next week"
    This. You don't have to comment on the coach's style or ability or make up excuses. Just a simple statement like Toaster posted is perfectly appropriate.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2011
    Posts
    55

    Default

    Sounds good. And when I start taking weekly lessons with someone else? Let that speak for itself? Thanks!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2011
    Location
    So California
    Posts
    2,778

    Default

    Be prepared for a question, such as a concerned, "Oh, is there a problem? Why are you taking a break?"

    You will have to decide whether to outright lie, make up an evasive half-truth, or just tell the truth succinctly. Even if money is not the issue, you can say that you are going to be budgeting that lesson money on another project in the coming months. The trainer cannot argue that point with you, although she might inquire about the project.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2008
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    "sorry, something's come up and i won't be able to join the group lesson for a while." and then don't. and then if you find yourself riding at the same time as the lesson, and s/he asks you to rejoin, sincerely say, "oh, thanks so much, but i'm not really sure what my schedule's going to be so i'd rather play it by ear for the moment. "
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Gravity works, and the laws of physics are a bitch.

    Member: Rabid Garden Snail Clique


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2013
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    369

    Default

    A while ago I was in a similar situation and I did exactly as suggested - said I was "taking a break for a while". When asked why I used the evasive, vague half-truth of "so much other stuff going on in my life right now". After starting lessons with another trainer I fibbed that a friend recommended the new trainer (internet search really) and the new approach reenergized my riding (this part is true).
    Just be kind and pleasant. Don't get defensive and remember that you don't have to explain ALL of your reasons.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 1999
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    4,411

    Default

    "I am sorry, but I won't be taking lessons." That is a complete sentence without using any evasion. If pressured, "I really do not want to discuss it. I will not be joining the group lessons." is also a complete sentence.


    1 members found this post helpful.

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