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  1. #1
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    Sep. 12, 2006
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    Default it is me, or am I obligated to like everyone's germy kids...

    So this weekend, we went to lunch at a local pizza place. Myself, my husband and my two kids, 11 yrs old. My husband is the type who gets very annoyed when kids are misbehaved at restaurants, banging on the booth seats etc. I am normally much more tolerant.

    So we sit down, and shortly afterwards, a father, alone with three boys under 5 sits down behind me in the next booth. His two youngest kids, probably 2 and 3? I didn't get a good look and am bad at kids ages, sit right behind me, he sits across from them.

    Immediately the kids begin walking all over the booth, jumping on the seat and generally making a disturbance. I hear the dad talk to them about it, albeit meekly, but I got the sense he was trying at least so I try to ignore it.

    Then the youngest kid, who is standing on the booth bench, decides he needs to interact with us, leaning over the booth towards me and my daughter, coughing and sneezing all over us and our food. I don't find out of control young children' belonging to stranger amusing or cute… so my husband sensing my displeasure, said "sir can you please help?" meaning help with the fact that his child is bothering me. My daughter is literally covering her food and trying to eat while being coughed on.

    This is met with no answer whatsoever. We continue eating… then I overhear him telling the waitress that he wants his pizza to go because he doesn't "want to deal with them". I assumed he meant the kids LOL… but apparently he meant US. And she kept saying, oh we can move you, no no, i just want to get out of here. But he is still waiting for his pizza so he is still sitting there with his kid in my personal space.

    Then I hear him telling his kids that he is going home, and they said, but we just got here…. and he said and I quote, "these RUDE people do not like you, they do not think you are cute, and I don't want to be anywhere near them". So at this point, I'm furious.. and I turn around and say, "it has nothing to do with being cute or not, just being rude, I don't' want your kid coughing all over my food. And I said, hey I get it, I have kids, as you can see but this is just rude"

    At this point, we get up and move to a booth across the restaurant.

    My husband was ready to come to blows with this guy LOL…

    SO, am I wrong and I'm supposed to tolerate every kid who wants to be in personal space or was HE rude? I confess, I am not a kid person, not the one who will ooh and ah over babies in general, much less those belonging to complete strangers clearly spreading their germs on my food.

    Or, how would you have handled this?

    Afterwards, the owner did come over and apologized, said he had no idea what was going on until it got out of control.


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  2. #2
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Default



    reminds me of the gal who got in a huff because I asked her 4yo kid if he slammed doors like he did the lockers at the gym....

    Some smart COTHer told me the line to remember:
    You are right, I should not have to reprimand your children, so see to it that it does not happen a again!

    You have two options:
    Tell him to have a blessed day

    or tell him to go suck an egg.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
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    Feb. 26, 2011
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    Eww, gross. I would be livid if kids were coughing on us in our booth. For some reason, people assume if you have kids that you are actually parenting, you will be fine taking on theirs. I once had a dad leave a 6yo with me in a car dealership. He had no idea who I was, but I was sitting there occupying my 3, and he was I guess buying a car. Walked outside, into an office with a closed door. I could have taken the child and he wouldn't have known.

    I'm sorry a rude father interrupted your dinner. I would have done just as you did, asking the man to parent his own children.
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"


    3 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
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    Aug. 1, 2007
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    West Palm Beach, FL
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    I dislike most children, so I found your reaction/actions to be totally fine. They were in the wrong. Jerks.
    Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
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    Sep. 12, 2006
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    ha thanks I'm conflict avoidant in general so i always feel bad if I get into it with someone… but he just pushed my buttons LOL

    I think we also felt unsupported by the restaurant, because i'm hearing him talk to the waitress and she's apologizing to him that he has to leave… umm? am I crazy??? I was ready to never go back there again, until the owner came over after we moved.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2007
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    No you don't. I really can't stand parents that think they are so special and the world should bow down to them because they reproduced and that everyone else should be forever grateful to be in the presence of their children, because they are soooooo perfect and cute.

    Quite frankly, the rude one here was the other dad. 1. he refused to correct behavior that was ruining the dining experience for other patrons and 2. For bringing a clearly sick child out into a public place. If your child is coughing and sneezing non stop KEEP THEM HOME. The father had no issue asking for the pizza to go, so there was no reason why he couldn't have ordered it for carry out/delivery in the first place.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    I cannot stand it when parents allow their kids to free range in restaurants. I don't care if they think I'm rude. I think I would have asked the waitress for a new table...as a matter of fact, I'm sure I would have. I do not think that obnoxious children are cute.

    He was rude, but you can't reason with these people. I just move to get away from them.

    My daughter was never allowed to wander, she was great as an infant but went through a 3 year period where we just didn't go to a restaurant.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant


    5 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
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    Sep. 12, 2006
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    I am with you LauraKY, my kids didn't' go out to eat until they were 1 and then only very very rarely and very quickly, I would have been mortified if they did anything to disturb anyone else. Led to a lot of take out, and reserving going to to restaurants for when grandma came to baby sit.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
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    NY
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    My husband would have said something scary to the kids so they turn back around. It has been done before.

    People are so weird about their kids. How could anyone even enjoy their meal with their kids acting that way - even if the other people were tolerant, it would drive me nuts.

    One of my friends tells a great story of a long flight in which she was stuck next to two twins (about 3 or 4) and if I recall, the dad had a baby and the mom was across the aisle from them sleeping. So the twins crawled all over her until finally she said "is this your child?" "Yes"...."and is this its twin?" "um...yes"..."and is that their mother?.....well, maybe you can wake her up so she can let these kids crawl on her!"

    I can't even imagine!


    6 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
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    Aug. 1, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mayaty02 View Post
    I am with you LauraKY, my kids didn't' go out to eat until they were 1 and then only very very rarely and very quickly, I would have been mortified if they did anything to disturb anyone else. Led to a lot of take out, and reserving going to to restaurants for when grandma came to baby sit.
    On the other hand, my 2 year old nephew (one of the few children I like) has been going out to restaurants since he was an infant. He is incredibly well-behaved, and spends most of the time playing with toys that my Bro & SIL bring for him. He doesnt' make noise, he doesn't disturb other people....and if he did, they would promptly remove him from the situation.

    My bro & I were raised that same way - we went to restaurants with our parents from the time we were very little, but were expected to behave like adults - no exceptions. Behaving like monsters would have gotten us a thorough rear-end whacking.

    Parents need to start parenting again, and stop being such pushovers.
    Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
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    Feb. 26, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    How could anyone even enjoy their meal with their kids acting that way - even if the other people were tolerant, it would drive me nuts.
    That's because you care, and aren't completely selfish. The dad didn't care about anyone but himself.

    In a few years, the children in the OP will be the kids that never have a ride home from practice, or a school dance, or are left after school until it is convenient for someone to come get them. They will be the kids that everyone else has to look out for, because their parents have learned that there will always be a good parent around to keep the crisis averted, so they can enjoy their own lives
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
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    Jan. 18, 2014
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    You were absolutely right!

    The dad, and the waitress, were very rude! Pfft! I hate parents like that. But well behaved kids are awesome!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
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    Feb. 6, 2007
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    I wouldn't blame the waitress, there only so much she can do in her position. She can't tell him "well your demon children are the issue here." she has to do what she can to keep the peace. She didn't agree with the dad she just offered to move him. Which was the only thing she could do. There's only so much a server can do in a "customer is always right" world. She knew what the real issue was that's why she probably got the owner to come and talk to the OP's family.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
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    Apr. 14, 2007
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    Pen Argyl PA
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    Disgusting! i do NOT have kids and i do not like rude kids. And i am a germ-a-phobe, so i would have blown a gasket. We purposely do not go to those type of places. we'll eat at home, thanks.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
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    Ugh. Some people are just rude. I'd venture a guess that he was rude before he had kids, too.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
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    Sep. 12, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmedHope View Post
    I wouldn't blame the waitress, there only so much she can do in her position. She can't tell him "well your demon children are the issue here." she has to do what she can to keep the peace. She didn't agree with the dad she just offered to move him. Which was the only thing she could do. There's only so much a server can do in a "customer is always right" world. She knew what the real issue was that's why she probably got the owner to come and talk to the OP's family.
    I don't blame her, but she did not get the owner, he was standing there when we decided to move.

    I guess I wonder should we have said something to the waitress ourselves, asked to move or what.

    Anyway, not going to belabor the point, but i am always wondering if things could have been handled differently so as not to escalate.



  17. #17
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    Mar. 18, 2012
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    As someone having to worry about immuno suppression, this would really get my goat!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
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    You did nothing wrong. the dad was rude and passive aggressive. The waitress wasn't rude, she gets paid a pittance and needs her job, she was just trying to pacify him as best she could.
    I see kids behaving badly in many situations - restaurants,malls, grocery stores - shrieking, having tantrums, running around, and the parents seem to think it is just fine.
    They seem to be in a sort of bubble of selfishness and entitlement, either oblivious or completely uncaring that their children are causing a disturbance.

    I too would have got up and moved.
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  19. #19
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    Sep. 2, 2005
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    It was sad that the father allowed it to happen.
    It is really disturbing that he blames it on other people wanting to enjoy their meal with out input from his kids.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
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    Oct. 27, 2009
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    I HATE parents like that. I'm not a parent but my SO has kids and I am super aware of their behavior in public and we always make sure they do not disturb the people around us.... Which is probably why they are almost always well behaved without needing to be told - they understand the expectations and we're consistent about it.

    If I were that dad I would have not only told my kids to sit the hell down, I would have offered to pay to re-order the food that was sneezed/coughed on. That is absolutely disgusting and unacceptable.
    Last edited by RedmondDressage; Jan. 29, 2014 at 03:30 PM.


    5 members found this post helpful.

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