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  1. #141
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    Feb. 22, 2009
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    Wisconsin
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloudyandcallie View Post
    OMG, cattle prod, I love it! Who would think to carry a cattle prod in her purse?
    This is pretty much h the one I had http://www.fleetfarm.com/detail/Hot-...Fa9aMgodVC8AVA

    I use to cocktail waitress and work till close, and due to at the time being young, fit, and large chested combined with the clothes some guys needed to be reminded that I was there to serve them, not service them. It fit in my pursue, or jacket so I carried it for safety reasons. Only had to use it once other then the psycho stalker ex. Cheaper and easier to get then a taser.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  2. #142
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    Sep. 20, 2009
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    692

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    Quote Originally Posted by paulaedwina View Post
    Look, I've been the creepy stalker. I wasn't actually a stalker I just had horrible social skills so what I did to show my interest was awkward, weird and ham-fisted. LOL I'm older now so I can edit before the creep factor comes out

    For example when I was an undergrad I was in luuuuurrrve with this beautiful Indian guy. I was everywhere he was, and once in the Student Union I had a blast just watching him sleep (yeah, I know).

    I had no idea until one day I heard him say to his friend, "Dude I woke up and she was like staring at me, like watching me sleep."

    This guy just sounds awkward. If you want to (you don't have to of course) text him back that you're fine, but you are not interested in him. Thereafter if he texts you and you don't text back there'll be no mystery.

    Of course you can go straight to treating him like a potential criminal too. It's a free country.

    Paula

    So when someone makes us uncomfortable and scared we should just shrug it off because the person might just be awkward?

    I get it. People can be harmless, awkward idiots. People can also be not so harmless awkward idiots or stalkers or smarties who know how to act awkward and unsure to get close to a victim who might dismiss their fears like you're telling her to.

    What he is doing is creepy. He could be harmless, but why should the assumption be that he IS harmless? Why shouldn't OP do what she needs to in order to feel comfortable, be it text him back or ask the police for advice? How is that "treating him like a criminal"? If he IS a socially awkward guy and he DID get a visit from the police, maybe it'd help him realize his actions actually frightened someone and that he may need to work on the way he came across.

    If you hadn't heard the man you liked talking you would have continued to frighten him. It wouldn't be intentional, but it also wouldn't be fair to him.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  3. #143
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2009
    Posts
    895

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    I'm sure everyone has covered all the advice I would give.

    If it's making you feel weird/creepy, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!

    PS -- I can't believe it took to post #109 to mention "The Gift of Fear". I've started giving it as high school graduation/heading off to college gifts.

    http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavi...e+gift+of+fear

    Read it! And be careful . . .
    "Let's face it -- Beezie Madden is NOT looking over her shoulder for me anytime
    soon . . . or ever, even in her worst nightmares."


    Member, Higher Standards Leather Care Addicts Anonymous


    3 members found this post helpful.

  4. #144
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
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    9,049

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    Look, I worked with cops daily for over 28 yrs. And they are paid to serve us. I have sent cops to talk to teenagers who harassed the 6ft2in wimpy stepson of my nice but wimpy judge, and I've sent cops to help out friends. Your beat officer is there to do stuff like this. I've even handed notes I got from strangers in the courthouse cafeteria to cops I was sitting with so that they could explain to guys who handed me notes that i was uninterested. You don't just go to a cop after you are burgled or raped or robbed. You go to the cops to prevent being burgled or raped or robbed. Heck, I even have the cops in the town where I board, well mine are just outside of the town, but the police chief in the town actually goes a few blocks outside the city limits to check on my 2 grazing in their pasture beside the road. He's a retired NYC cop who got tired of FL and took a job in a rural town in GA to work. Cops want to get to know the locals (even if they are 2 horses), and want people to like them. So while they are not busy catching criminals, they want you to talk to them and interact with them and they will then help you out.

    Or you can just hope you don't get killed by some weirdo who wants to own you. And take your chances. In Atlanta, I was always afraid someone would show up at my house when i was not there. I didn't want my dogs or cats killed. OP, watch out for your dogs. Guys do take animals and hold them to get to you. And people do kill animals to get back at you.

    ETA And when I was a prosecutor for over 28 yrs, I actually went over to friends' and victims' and witnesses' houses in the middle of the night to advise people that they were to stay away from my people. It's part of the job of prosecutors and cops, if they are good at their jobs.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  5. #145

    Default

    Here's the Onion's take on it:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/wom...4984/?ref=auto

    I guess it wouldn't be funny if it didn't represent the density of some humans so accurately.
    Horse & Dog Designs: Clothing, Pendants, Water Bottles, Totes, Phone Cases, ETC:
    WoofNWhinny*
    NEW: Schnauzers, Boxers, Western, & Polo Ponies

    Horsey Humor, Ponies, Barn Safety & More.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  6. #146
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
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    353

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoofNWhinny* View Post
    Here's the Onion's take on it:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/wom...4984/?ref=auto

    I guess it wouldn't be funny if it didn't represent the density of some humans so accurately.
    hahaaaaaa omg that was awesome!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #147
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2007
    Location
    SE CT
    Posts
    992

    Default I Have A Copy of "Gift of Fear" for you...

    Hey OP, I have a pb copy of the "Gift of Fear" to send you, if you would like.

    I pick them up whenever I see them at thrifts, yard sales, etc., one of THE BEST books ever written for women-actually, for men, too.

    I've given about 5 copies away so far-to DD when she was 15, several of her friends, and some to coworkers.

    OP, PM me your address, I'll be glad to pop it in the mail for you.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  8. #148
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
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    4,968

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    Quote Originally Posted by spurgirl View Post
    Hey OP, I have a pb copy of the "Gift of Fear" to send you, if you would like.

    I pick them up whenever I see them at thrifts, yard sales, etc., one of THE BEST books ever written for women-actually, for men, too.

    I've given about 5 copies away so far-to DD when she was 15, several of her friends, and some to coworkers.

    OP, PM me your address, I'll be glad to pop it in the mail for you.
    I will point out, regarding flogging the wonderful Gift of Fear in all these types of threads:
    Gavin de Becker (the author) not only covers the indicators of danger, but strategies for avoiding it. And he is very much a proponent of, as he writes,
    a single, crystal-clear, direct "NO."
    Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #149
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    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
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    5,048

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    Quote Originally Posted by SarEQ View Post
    So when someone makes us uncomfortable and scared we should just shrug it off because the person might just be awkward?

    I get it. People can be harmless, awkward idiots. People can also be not so harmless awkward idiots or stalkers or smarties who know how to act awkward and unsure to get close to a victim who might dismiss their fears like you're telling her to.

    What he is doing is creepy. He could be harmless, but why should the assumption be that he IS harmless? Why shouldn't OP do what she needs to in order to feel comfortable, be it text him back or ask the police for advice? How is that "treating him like a criminal"? If he IS a socially awkward guy and he DID get a visit from the police, maybe it'd help him realize his actions actually frightened someone and that he may need to work on the way he came across.

    If you hadn't heard the man you liked talking you would have continued to frighten him. It wouldn't be intentional, but it also wouldn't be fair to him.

    Oh for frack sake. Where in my post of "on the other hand" did I say she should continue to subject herself to bad behavior. Jeez a little perspective eh?

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #150
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    Mar. 15, 2007
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    (throw dart at map) NC!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraKY View Post
    How will you feel if she takes your advice and the unthinkable happens? I'll still be fine with the advice I gave, will you?
    I was about done with this thread until I read this. Laura, people are offering the OP advice based on how EACH would deal with the situation. The OP will decide what to do. This post of yours is completely uncalled for and is a little rude to someone simply offering her opinion.
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation


    12 members found this post helpful.

  11. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by WoofNWhinny* View Post
    Here's the Onion's take on it:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/wom...4984/?ref=auto

    I guess it wouldn't be funny if it didn't represent the density of some humans so accurately.
    That's pretty funny! The Onion nails it once again!
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #152
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
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    7,542

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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Lu View Post
    I was about done with this thread until I read this. Laura, people are offering the OP advice based on how EACH would deal with the situation. The OP will decide what to do. This post of yours is completely uncalled for and is a little rude to someone simply offering her opinion.
    Agreed! Many of us have very different experiences, we all have very different communication styles. The OP obviously is very nice and kind, I am more of an in your face person who would tell the guy to kick rocks, and well, then we have the one who would nail him with the cattle prod (although I am not completely against this ). Safety is important but if she never says "no" there is no for sure. Heck she could have a cop stand next to her to say it but it needs to be said.
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #153
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    Nov. 15, 2005
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    NY
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    6,238

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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Lu View Post
    I was about done with this thread until I read this. Laura, people are offering the OP advice based on how EACH would deal with the situation. The OP will decide what to do. This post of yours is completely uncalled for and is a little rude to someone simply offering her opinion.
    Not me, I was offering her the same advice I would give any of my friends in this situation. Only difference is that w/my IRL friends I would have used more words starting with 'F' and ending in 'uck'...
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    3 members found this post helpful.

  14. #154
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    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
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    17,459

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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Lu View Post
    I was about done with this thread until I read this. Laura, people are offering the OP advice based on how EACH would deal with the situation. The OP will decide what to do. This post of yours is completely uncalled for and is a little rude to someone simply offering her opinion.
    I don't think so. I think minimizing the consequences of any of the actions she might take are possibly very dangerous.

    I'd rather be direct and rude than possibly lead someone to take chances..chances which could lead to a dangerous situation.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant


    5 members found this post helpful.

  15. #155
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    Nov. 15, 2005
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    NY
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    Girls do not have the luxury of hoping someone is just awkward.
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    14 members found this post helpful.

  16. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraKY View Post
    I don't think so. I think minimizing the consequences of any of the actions she might take are possibly very dangerous.

    I'd rather be direct and rude than possibly lead someone to take chances..chances which could lead to a dangerous situation.
    Laura, what you did is tell the person you quoted that if "something bad happened to the OP, it would be that person's fault for giving "bad" advice". That's a little obnoxious, seeing as though the OP ultimately takes responsibility for herself and ultimately knows the details of the situation. I appreciate that you're willing to take responsibility for your comments.
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation


    9 members found this post helpful.

  17. #157
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    Mar. 15, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela Freda View Post
    Girls do not have the luxury of hoping someone is just awkward.
    Are you single and dating right now?
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation



  18. #158
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    Mar. 10, 2007
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    Montana
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    Girls should feel strong enough to say no when they mean no.

    I never told her NOT to go to the cops if she felt like she should; all I ever said was that she should say/text no, leave me alone. I never said she shouldn't empower herself in the situation, however she wanted to. I said she should be careful, before after and during. I thought she should clearly tell him to back off first and foremost. Never said she shouldn't do anything else that made her feel safe.

    I said also that I have a 13 year old daughter and you can bet that I advise her to be clear with her signals and intent, even if they change. My girl can also shoot a gun, has a big freaky dog and knows her way around pepper spray all of which she can handle while waiting for the cops to get there, but that's beside the point.

    It's a cheap shot to say that my advice could be dangerous when I never told OP to sit home and blow it off.
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey


    6 members found this post helpful.

  19. #159
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    Nov. 15, 2005
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Lu View Post
    Are you single and dating right now?
    You're not my type.
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    7 members found this post helpful.

  20. #160
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    Jun. 28, 2010
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    NY
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    353

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    WEll, no text tonight. I think he is gone. I am leaning towards creepy weirdo...


    10 members found this post helpful.

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