The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 2 of 11 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 217
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2009
    Posts
    686

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anne FS View Post
    Right. That's what I meant. He's letting you know he's looking for you in your car and he knows what you drive. And he's watching you.



    Holy schmoly! That kicks it up a notch.

    He's definitely watching you and watching for you.

    Are your windows on his side of the building? Even if not, make sure your window shades are down and don't show shadows.

    Ugh. Ugh. ICK.
    This whole thing scares me.

    He knows her dogs, where she lives, what car she drives, where she usually parks, and he admits to watching her.

    That is so creepy and not okay.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 7, 2013
    Location
    NYC to Houston
    Posts
    95

    Default

    This really worries me that he knows so much about you too.
    Please be careful.
    Definitely don't text him back and can you maybe get one of your guy friends to walk with you in the park so you have some kind of protection?
    If his behavior towards you continues or, god forbid, escalates, you need to call the police to protect yourself. Stalking is a misdemeanor in New York and the police will take you seriously. If need be you can go so far as to file a restraining order (which is more in depth-you need to file paperwork and make a court appearance).



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar. 18, 2012
    Posts
    462

    Default

    I would call the police anyway, and ask their advice. Be very forthright, as you have been here. Maybe it will start a bit of a paper trail, too. This is likely not the first time he's done this, from the sound of it.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jul. 11, 2004
    Posts
    6,770

    Default

    Oh yes, that qualifies as more than creepy...definitely stalking (or slightly pre-stalking).

    If it was my sister or girl friend, I'd be suggesting bringing all your stuff to the police and let them find out just who he is and if he has a record of doing this behaviour. Don't take it lightly.

    Do you shoot?
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


    7 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2006
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    4,940

    Default

    I'd call the police on their non-emergency number, tell them you want to make an incident report, and ask them to please send out an officer. Show the officer the texts you've been receiving. Tell him or her about the other stuff, too - how he watches you in the dog park, on the street, etc.

    If your police are like mine, the officer will go have a talk with the guy. If he's not a stalker and just socially awkward, that will be the end of it. If he is a stalker, then you will have shown him you are not a willing victim and maybe he'll pick on somebody else. Or not. But hey, three things can happen and two of them are good, right?

    Let us know what happens.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    3,233

    Default

    I hadn't fully ready when I posted that he was probably socially awkward, upon further review, I lean towards stalker now, too...
    Quarry Rat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar. 15, 2007
    Location
    (throw dart at map) NC!
    Posts
    4,548

    Default

    I actually dated a guy like this! I suspect that this guy has had an eye on you for a while and was super-excited to finally meet you. I suspect that he had a little fantasy built up in his head already which is why he told you so soon that you are beautiful and that he missed you - he already had a bit of a relationship going with you in his mind. Yes, it's not very "normal" but it's not time to call the police yet, either. He has done nothing against the law.

    I would not text him back *anything*. Do not text "don't contact me again" or anything because you know the next set of texts will say "why?" and "what did I do?" and "but things were going well" and may even cause him to be upset enough to make contact with you by calling or waiting outside your door (upset enough that he wants to know what he did wrong and ask for another chance or so that he doesn't do it in the future). Again, that's not "call the police" material because you can't just get restraining orders willy nilly, but you don't want to give this guy who you did go out with one time any sort of stimulation. Simply don't answer. If he lives across the street and sees you out his window, he'll know you're perfectly fine and are ignoring him. If you see him in the dog park or on a sidewalk, chat pleasantly but don't ask any questions, start any conversation (operhaps start a conversation with someone else and turn your back), and just keep saying "you have to go". he'll move on. Directly saying "don't talk to me" can make an obviously insecure person emotional (i.e. "what did I do?" "All I've been is nice to you", etc. and can create a scene...and will give him fodder to contact you later to tell you about the things he thought about later but didn't tell you at the time).

    I have had several "suitors" and a couple of highly needy friends criticize me for not texting them back right away. It is not my problem (or yours) when people need text messages for validation on a regular basis.

    PS. after reading a couple of posts, I highly disagree with contacting the police just yet. You want the guy to go away, not stew in anger at you because you complained to the police about his "genuine concern for a woman he was dating".
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

    Default

    I guess I feel like I lead him on a bit by texting him even though I wasn't romantically interested. So I feel like maybe I owe him an explanation. Of course this was before that text where he was annoyed I didn't text him back..now I am annoyed.

    The good thing is his building doesn't face mine. it is up a little. And I can avoid the dog yard behind the building that he can watch me.



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2008
    Posts
    2,690

    Default

    please tell me you have a large scary dog? if not, can you borrow someone's pit bull for a bit? everything you've described would give me the heebeejeebies too.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Gravity works, and the laws of physics are a bitch.

    Member: Rabid Garden Snail Clique



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2012
    Posts
    1,247

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HorsefaceDee View Post
    I guess I feel like I lead him on a bit by texting him even though I wasn't romantically interested. So I feel like maybe I owe him an explanation. Of course this was before that text where he was annoyed I didn't text him back..now I am annoyed.

    The good thing is his building doesn't face mine. it is up a little. And I can avoid the dog yard behind the building that he can watch me.
    This is not your fault! You did not lead him on! Don't let your guilt make you do something potentially unsafe.

    Your instincts (not to mention the evidence) are trying to tell you something about this guy - listen to them! Cut off all contact, you do not need to provide an explanation. In fact, an explanation will only give him the reaction he wants - ie a response that he can engage with.

    Read The Gift of Fear.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2007
    Location
    Napanee ON
    Posts
    3,933

    Default

    Tell him you have a boyfriend now, so please respect that. Don't reply to anymore texts after this!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    6,769

    Default

    *personal pet peeve* Women should not have to fake having a boyfriend or husband to avoid being harassed. That is crap.

    Tell the guy to blow off-as nicely or sternly as you feel is necessary. For you, I would lean towards stern since you seem to be overly nice
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    19 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2012
    Posts
    1,247

    Default

    One more thing. Every time you respond to this guy (even if you've gone weeks or months without engaging) you're basically hitting the reset button. Think of it this way: if you had a dog that was begging and you ignored him every time he begged for a week and then one day you gave in and gave him a piece of whatever you were eating, what would the dog do? Immediately renew the constant begging, right?

    Any response is positive reinforcement in this case. I would cease all contact and make the police aware of the situation. They may not be able to do anything just yet but establishing a pattern of this kind of behavior may be very useful (to you or someone else) down the line.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

    Default

    I have two scottish terriers. The one is is a 40 pound scottie. He is almost twice the size of my other in length and has paws the size of a lab but as tall as a normal scottie...haha! But he certainly isn't a pit bull..

    He seems to be texting me every other day. I got one last night "hello?!!??!!"



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2005
    Location
    Southern California - Hemet
    Posts
    1,662

    Default

    I would change my number too. I have Verizon and you can do it online very easily.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    6,769

    Default

    Block his number. It's easy.
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    11,756

    Default

    I would just ignore his texts.

    To me he sounds more like a socially clueless person who thought you were friends than a dangerous stalker.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

    Default

    I kind of don't want to block his number as at least I know who it is. It hasn't started to get under my skin that badly yet.



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Apr. 14, 2007
    Location
    Pen Argyl PA
    Posts
    3,719

    Default

    " you are making me feel very uncomfortable. please do not text me or call me anymore, and please stop watching me."


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,318

    Default

    This guy is a stalker. "No" is a complete sentence. Tell him not to contact you again, and if he does, you will call the police. Tell the local cops what's going on too. Don't file a report yet, just have a conversation with them.

    Not trying to scare you, but take this seriously!
    Unrepentant carb eater


    2 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Creepy CL ad?
    By Murphy's Mom in forum Off Course
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Mar. 30, 2012, 02:18 AM
  2. Creepy or not?
    By ptownevt in forum Off Course
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: Mar. 5, 2012, 09:47 AM
  3. I think this ad is creepy.
    By ExJumper in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: Sep. 27, 2010, 11:02 AM
  4. A Creepy Man in the pasture.
    By chai in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: Sep. 13, 2010, 08:54 PM
  5. This is really creepy
    By Isabeau Z Solace in forum Off Course
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: Aug. 27, 2010, 02:24 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness