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  1. #181
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2012
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    1,183

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    It was a weird territorial thing...he'd occasionally leave little innocuous things like a gum wrapper, a couple of matches, etc. near her door. So weird. I guess he sort of wanted her to notice but didn't want it to be able to be proven it was him? There is a larger backstory here that I will not get into but suffice it to say that we ended up having definitive proof it was him and it was intentional.

    Just listen to your instincts and you should be fine.



  2. #182
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

    Default

    so guy called me tonight but didn't leave a message....ah!



  3. #183
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

    Default

    i am hoping it was an accident



  4. #184
    Join Date
    Apr. 19, 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,263

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    An accident is one ring. Waiting on the line until it goes to voicemail is being a creepy stalker and wanting to hear your voice on the message. So which was it?



  5. #185
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
    Location
    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
    Posts
    2,989

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    Send a quick text that says 'I noticed you had called. Please do not contact me again'. You really, really, need to go on record that you do not want further contact. Please do go chat with the police, because it is far better to do that (possibly) unnecessarily, than to skip it and wind up raped or dead.
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  6. #186
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2007
    Posts
    1,460

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    I went on a date with a guy, nice enough but umm just wasn't gonna work (he pulled a gun out from underneath his drivers seat to show me something) I think I told the story on here before, this was Mr. "so where do you see this going?" at the end of the first date! I'm like "ummm not sure" then went to my car. Just really creepy and pushy.

    After that, I noticed his truck driving by quite bit by my dorm and seeing him driving by while on my daily run. I had to change up my route and the times I would go running. Oh yea and I was getting phone calls and texts during all this too. No amount of saying no or ignoring was working.

    Luckily, I was in the criminal justice major in my university and the students in my program work closely with the local city police department and sheriff's office so I knew several of the officers and they took care of it for me. I am forever grateful to them, especially since he um apparently had a bit of a record that I did not know about!

    I'm not one of those "damsels in distress" types (not saying you are either!) but when I didn't feel safe walking out of my dorm to my classes/car, I knew it was time to take further action. I mean if I saw him occasionally that'd be okay since this is a small town. But it was EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I swear he had my class/exercise schedule memorized!

    It starts off innocent enough but it can escalate quickly. It sounds like the dude got the message and if he calls again (and then you'll know it was not an accident) tell him one more time flat out that you are no longer interested in contact with him and then go to the police station and let them be aware of whats going on. They'll have stronger case to build against him if you make reports on his behavior if in fact he does try to harm you or threaten you one day.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  7. #187
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2010
    Posts
    2,993

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdlbredfan View Post
    Send a quick text that says 'I noticed you had called. Please do not contact me again'. You really, really, need to go on record that you do not want further contact. Please do go chat with the police, because it is far better to do that (possibly) unnecessarily, than to skip it and wind up raped or dead.
    ^This. Okay, seriously OP, if you don't start taking some sort if action here I for one am going to start seeing you as more the drama queen and less the victim. With all the cases, protectors, etc out there for phones I just do not buy the "ass-dial" scenario, especially in this case. Please take some action TODAY.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    6 members found this post helpful.

  8. #188
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,110

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    Ruby is exactly right. Text what AnneFS said, and if there is any other contact call the cops, and keep the texts, and other calls on your phone log. Write down all incidents, and dates that you can recall. Be careful, he may not be harmless, and I doubt he is.
    Last edited by JanM; Jan. 26, 2014 at 06:13 PM.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  9. #189
    Join Date
    Mar. 18, 2012
    Posts
    422

    Default

    Agreed!^^^



  10. #190
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 1999
    Location
    Harrisburg, PA USA
    Posts
    5,618

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sdlbredfan View Post
    Send a quick text that says 'I noticed you had called. Please do not contact me again'. You really, really, need to go on record that you do not want further contact. Please do go chat with the police, because it is far better to do that (possibly) unnecessarily, than to skip it and wind up raped or dead.
    Me again, natural born editor.....

    IF you do this, just say "Do not contact me again." or

    "Saw you called. Do not contact me again."

    No "I noticed you." Which all he will hear is "she noticed me!"

    No "Please."

    Type a period at the end of the sentence. Not the word, just the . There is nothing open-ended about this.

    Professional, unemotional, to the point, and not reinforcing contact in any way.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  11. #191
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

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    yes the call went to voicemail. I understand that it is a good thing to be clear and say "stop", but on the other hand I am worried that ANY communication might be fueling the fire, hence my hesitation.



  12. #192
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2010
    Posts
    2,993

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    Then go to the cops TONIGHT and ask them what to do. Sitting and doing nothing and then posting when something happens AGAIN does nothing for the situation, and then you have absolutely no idea what kind of situation you are in STILL.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    6 members found this post helpful.

  13. #193
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2000
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,832

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    Get a record of yourself saying stop. A text is perfect for that. If he doesn't stop, then go to the police.
    ---
    They're small hearts.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #194
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,009

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    Do not respond in any way by call or text or anything. Anything you do will be seen as encouragement. Go to the cops. Go to the cops. I worked crimes for over 28 yrs. And I have dated for much longer. You do not want to have any contact with this guy, even to tell him "beat it." Stalkers, and I've tried the aggravated stalking cases in Atlanta, think anything is encouragement, any contact, anything. And ignoring them doesn't help. A cop showing up at his home or place of business is the answer. And be aware. You've read what happened to others. While I love the cattle prod method, you do not want to have to fight off some dude who wants to possess you.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #195
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,009

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    Quote Originally Posted by RubyTuesday View Post
    Then go to the cops TONIGHT and ask them what to do. Sitting and doing nothing and then posting when something happens AGAIN does nothing for the situation, and then you have absolutely no idea what kind of situation you are in STILL.
    Yes. If you do not want to go out to the local precinct, call and ask for your beat cop to come to your home. He will do so. And he'll then go visit the dude.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #196
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

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    sooooo he just called me again. I picked up and told him not to contact me anymore. He called me on an unknown number and I picked up thinking it was someone else. He seemed ok. but creepy. I dont think he is harmful. Just unaware..he sounded a bit hurt. I am trying not to feel bad. He was concerned that I was hurt or whatever.



  17. #197
    Join Date
    Apr. 22, 2011
    Location
    the Armpit of the Nation
    Posts
    3,160

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    Sure he was. Girl, go to the cops.
    When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  18. #198
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    342

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    Calling the cops.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  19. #199
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
    20,322

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    Quote Originally Posted by RubyTuesday View Post
    I for one am going to start seeing you as more the drama queen and less the victim.
    I passed "going to" long, long ago.
    EDDIE WOULD GO


    5 members found this post helpful.

  20. #200
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2007
    Posts
    1,460

    Default

    Good!

    Did he try contacting you again?



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