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  1. #161
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    Best case scenario! The most important thing is that you're safe and secure.

    Don't let your guard down; stay alert, do what you think you should do for yourself no matter what crazy horse people on the internet say!
    “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey



  2. #162
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    Mar. 15, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela Freda View Post
    You're not my type.
    Clearly! I'll take that as a "no", that you're not on the dating scene.
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation



  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulaedwina View Post
    Look, I've been the creepy stalker. I wasn't actually a stalker I just had horrible social skills so what I did to show my interest was awkward, weird and ham-fisted. LOL I'm older now so I can edit before the creep factor comes out

    For example when I was an undergrad I was in luuuuurrrve with this beautiful Indian guy. I was everywhere he was, and once in the Student Union I had a blast just watching him sleep (yeah, I know).

    I had no idea until one day I heard him say to his friend, "Dude I woke up and she was like staring at me, like watching me sleep."

    This guy just sounds awkward. If you want to (you don't have to of course) text him back that you're fine, but you are not interested in him. Thereafter if he texts you and you don't text back there'll be no mystery.

    Of course you can go straight to treating him like a potential criminal too. It's a free country.

    Paula
    You know, I have a real hard time getting a scary vibe off a female being the stalker. Yes, I have seen "Fatal Attraction" and all that, but your spin just doesn't work for me to see it in the same scary light as the OP's. I agree with everyone who says she should notify the police.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by twotrudoc View Post
    Agreed! Many of us have very different experiences, we all have very different communication styles. The OP obviously is very nice and kind, I am more of an in your face person who would tell the guy to kick rocks, and well, then we have the one who would nail him with the cattle prod (although I am not completely against this ). Safety is important but if she never says "no" there is no for sure. Heck she could have a cop stand next to her to say it but it needs to be said.
    Yep, we all do have different communication styles. I'm sure I'm not as nice as the OP, I'm pretty direct when I'm bugged, so probably less likely to have a stalker like this! But it doesn't keep me from having my antenna up and on for potential trouble.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela Freda View Post
    Girls do not have the luxury of hoping someone is just awkward.
    Totally agree.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    3 members found this post helpful.

  6. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by HorsefaceDee View Post
    WEll, no text tonight. I think he is gone. I am leaning towards creepy weirdo...
    Your telling of that to us makes me more sure you should talk to a police officer. Just in case.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #167
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    Dec. 4, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubyTuesday View Post
    Yep, we all do have different communication styles. I'm sure I'm not as nice as the OP, I'm pretty direct when I'm bugged, so probably less likely to have a stalker like this! But it doesn't keep me from having my antenna up and on for potential trouble.
    Yep, always keep the antenna up Or nine iron, whichever
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #168
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    Nov. 15, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Lu View Post
    Clearly! I'll take that as a "no", that you're not on the dating scene.
    I guess I don't understand the relevance.
    I WAS on the dating scene, it's how I ended up this fine mess after all.
    And it wasn't all that long ago that I was dating... my memory's still pretty darned good for an old girl.

    I have friends and family who are dating, now... and I would tell them exactly what I wrote to OP.

    When I read her OP and subsequent add'l info to DH he agreed, talking to the cops doesn't hurt. Did I mention DH works in the alternate HS with those most likely to be socially [in almost ALL situations] awkward populations?

    bottom line to me:
    Making assumptions that he is just awkward could prove dangerous while assuming he's a stalker hurts...? Oh! No one.
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    I will point out, regarding flogging the wonderful Gift of Fear in all these types of threads:
    Gavin de Becker (the author) not only covers the indicators of danger, but strategies for avoiding it. And he is very much a proponent of, as he writes, "a single, crystal-clear, direct "NO." "
    I might have missed or misread a few posts, but it seemed like OP was taking the "wait and see" approach, while most were advocating the direct "Stop now" approach.

    If he contacts you again, ask your "older brother's best friend" aka the local beat cop to speak to him.
    "Let's face it -- Beezie Madden is NOT looking over her shoulder for me anytime
    soon . . . or ever, even in her worst nightmares."


    Member, Higher Standards Leather Care Addicts Anonymous


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #170
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    I have no problem being direct or listening to my spidey sense. If it were me and I was getting the NQR tingles from him, I'd tell him on no uncertain terms to chill out, back the fruitbat off and stop contacting me. I wouldn't go to the cops necessarily, but I'd definitely tell friends and family about the creepy dude.
    And, hey, if it so happens that he's just an awkward fellow with a crush, well, then I'm sorry I hurt his feelings but life's a bitch and what not
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2horseygirls View Post
    I might have missed or misread a few posts, but it seemed like OP was taking the "wait and see" approach, while most were advocating the direct "Stop now" approach.

    If he contacts you again, ask your "older brother's best friend" aka the local beat cop to speak to him.
    Eh, it was more the "this book is awesome" juxtaposed against "keep ignoring him, then go to the cops/get a gun/get a restraining order." The book would've told OP to, erm...tell him to quit contacting her first of all, which she never did.
    Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #172
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    Google "The Gift of Fear".



  13. #173
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    Creepy 'secret admirer' in BC, Canada.

    http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/daily...3883.html?vp=1



  14. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    Eh, it was more the "this book is awesome" juxtaposed against "keep ignoring him, then go to the cops/get a gun/get a restraining order." The book would've told OP to, erm...tell him to quit contacting her first of all, which she never did.
    If the OP had started this thread earlier I think everyone would have recommended she simply tell him to stop contacting her. Since she posted AFTER all of this creepy behavior and AFTER having ignored many texts from him, it did not seem like a good time to tell her to suddenly engage with the guy who lives in a building practically right next to her and watches her to the point of knowing her daily routine and tell him something that would potentially set him off.

    I'm not sure what is unclear about that. In fact, I think it borders on irresponsible to tell her to engage in a confrontation (even via text) when the situation has reached this point.

    Like another poster said, if she behaves with extreme caution on the off chance that he is a psycho stalker who is going to lock her in his basement (or worse), that hurts NO ONE. If she listens to everyone who is telling her he's probably harmless and socially awkward she may be seriously underestimating a very scary individual.

    This is a no-brainer in my opinion.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  15. #175
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    I agree with french fry. If OP had posted the thread after the first encounter, we'd all not be so worried. But after everything the guy has done, she needs to be very careful as any contact with him initiated by her could make him more insistent. Go talk to the cops.

    And after so many of the posters have recommended the "Gift of Fear" book, I ordered one. Off of ebay, cheaper than amazon.com. I want to see if it has many of the things that we all learned in self defense courses with the Atlanta PD.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloudyandcallie View Post
    I agree with french fry. If OP had posted the thread after the first encounter, we'd all not be so worried. But after everything the guy has done, she needs to be very careful as any contact with him initiated by her could make him more insistent. Go talk to the cops.

    And after so many of the posters have recommended the "Gift of Fear" book, I ordered one. Off of ebay, cheaper than amazon.com. I want to see if it has many of the things that we all learned in self defense courses with the Atlanta PD.
    I ordered one as well.
    Proud Member of the "I Don't Do Facebook" Clique



  17. #177
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    I haven't read through all nine pages but I did read through the first couple when this was a new topic. Has the OP ever directly said, "No," "Leave me alone" or "Do not contact me"? It sounded all very evasive with just ignoring him. He may just not have a clue! We all know how upset the OP is because we've read her side of the story but from his side he sees a nice girl who talked to him, responded to him and is suddenly quiet for no apparent reason? I think you owe it to him to be direct before calling the cops and getting this guy recorded as a creeper for just being awkward.



  18. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by gypsymare View Post
    I haven't read through all nine pages but I did read through the first couple when this was a new topic. Has the OP ever directly said, "No," "Leave me alone" or "Do not contact me"? It sounded all very evasive with just ignoring him. He may just not have a clue! We all know how upset the OP is because we've read her side of the story but from his side he sees a nice girl who talked to him, responded to him and is suddenly quiet for no apparent reason? I think you owe it to him to be direct before calling the cops and getting this guy recorded as a creeper for just being awkward.

    I didn't call the cops...He got the hint. I think it pissed me off more than scared me until I started reading everyone'e responses. But water under the bridge now.

    I need to listen to my inner voice more. I ave an awful habit of trying to give guys a chance that I really shouldn't, "to be fair"....



  19. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by HorsefaceDee View Post
    I didn't call the cops...He got the hint. I think it pissed me off more than scared me until I started reading everyone'e responses. But water under the bridge now.

    I need to listen to my inner voice more. I ave an awful habit of trying to give guys a chance that I really shouldn't, "to be fair"....
    OP, I'm so glad everything worked out for you! Please be hyperaware of your surroundings and personal safety going forward in case he is still keeping an eye on you. FWIW in my friend's case the signs that she was being stalked were very subtle; a gum wrapper on her doormat (yes, really!), etc. So if anything seems weird or out of place please make note of it and don't be afraid to go to the police!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #180
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    Jun. 28, 2010
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    Frenchfry

    a gum wrapper? so creepy???

    I really don't think the guy was dangerous...just awkward. But yes. I am super aware now..I also stopped going to the dog park at night by myself. It isn't the one where I met the guy...but you never know


    1 members found this post helpful.

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