For OP here, looks like the circumstances will allow it to work and they are fine if that's the case.
but getting invited to a DW by a reasonably close family member you like and want to see married can lead to some hurt feelings if you can't go- on both sides. BTDT.
Niece let grooms wealthy parents pick a pricey resort in Florida in the middle of spring break on a Saturday night 3 months out. They paid for everything including transportation, hotel, food for niece, her attendants and my sis, her mom. I wanted to go, tried to arrange it. They figured since I fly free it would be no problem, right?
Unfortunately they picked a resort in a smaller city with no mainline service, 50 seaters only, already full- priced a ticket and it was nearly 1k. Resort was sold out. Only alternatives 300+with a 3 nite minimum. No vacation time left and best I could do was 4 days off over that weekend and the 16 hour drive each way still left a hotel problem. I didn't go. They were miffed at me, created some tension. BTW there was no telecast and the invitation included gift registry into.
Apparently, the ceremony was all the grooms people. Nieces side couldn't afford it ( being on the west coast primarily) or had to work. Some of her long time friends were upset and felt guilty they could not be there.
With plenty of communication well ahead of time, like at least 6 months, and maybe not picking such an expensive resort on a weekend in their busiest season this might have been far more successful then it was. Asking prospective guests BEFORE finalizing arrangements would be prudent.
Unfortunately they picked a resort in a smaller city with no mainline service, 50 seaters only, already full- priced a ticket and it was nearly 1k. Resort was sold out. Only alternatives 300+with a 3 nite minimum.
This is one of the reasons why we moved our wedding (literally last night) from Key West to Orlando (Disney World.)
Southwest was the only mainline carrier who flew to Key West and they are discontinuing service in June. That left only puddle jumpers from Ft. Lauderdale to get to Key West and we have inexperienced fliers coming, no way would you get them on a plane they have to load from the tarmac.
Disney, on the other hand, has 56 flights a day on various carriers, is nonstop from the area most people are coming, and has so.many.hotel.choices that nobody can ever complain that there was nothing available. And our wedding isn't until 2015 so everyone has plenty of time to save up for their $250 tickets.
The parents can all afford to go. If they couldn't we'd pay for it, but they are fine. We're paying for the sister who's a college student and my MOH who happens to be a member on this board (Hi!!). Nobody else needs to be there. I don't need cousins, aunts, uncles, third cousins twice removed, the parent's best friend I haven't seen in 15 years. Weddings have always been about the social standing of the bride's parents, I am rejecting that notion and doing what I want because it's my commitment.
I don't say that in a bridezilla way. I'm not throwing an 'it's my day!!!' tantrum. We asked, everyone was super excited about having a reason to go away, and off we go.
Those who can't can watch it online. I don't understand the aversion to it, as I see it as a way to include those who can't go for either financial, physical, or timing reasons.
Sorry, I wasn't talking about you and your situation, per se.
Like others have mentioned I had been invited to a 'destination wedding'.
I was a poor, just out of college new horse owner at the time, and could not afford to go.
It may be the thing that started the decline in that relationship.
It was just another example of this person not 'getting' that money does not grow on trees for everyone [it does for her, or it did until she blew through her inheritance and then it went buh-bye when the stock market crashed- oops!]... had it not been her wedding that made it clear that she was never going to grow up and be considerate of others... I'm sure something else would have served as that wake up call.
I've never been invited to a destination wedding (thankfully), but if I did I would have no hesitations on saying no due to finances. I think if you are going to do a destination wedding where your guests will be required to spend a significant chunk of change, you need to analyze just how many of your friends/family can swing it. If it looks like many dear people wouldn't be able to afford it and you can't pick up the tab, might not be a good idea.
If I ever get married, my thoughts are to get hitched at civil hall, and then spend the wedding budget on a huge party blow-out/reception. Knowing my friends and family, that'd be the preferred avenue
Lucy (Precious Star) - 1994 TB mare; happily reunited with her colt Touch the Stars