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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 1, 2011

    Default I Guess I Need a Horsey Support Group - Long - Sorry!

    I was just looking at a web site about getting over a relationship, and one of the things it said to do is to have a network of friends to talk to, spend time with, to get your mind off your other friend (the one you're trying to let go of).

    I do have friends out in the real world, but on COTH I see this really focused group of horse people who also discuss a lot of other things, and support each other, and I can go on COTH a lot later at night than I can talk to real-world friends or text them!

    I am trying to get over a male friend (I am female). We have been friends for about a year now. I thought we were both thinking about changing our friendship to one with additional benefits, but he hasn't come out and said anything to me, and I'm scared to say anything to him first!

    We used to ride at the same barn, but he is a haul out, gone all day trail rider, and I like schooling in the indoor because of some anxiety issues. He has moved to another barn, nearer to trail-riding country. So now we mostly talk just on the phone (don't get together much). We have always talked about everything, really gotten to know each other.

    The thing is, sometimes he will call me every day of the week. Sometimes he will go for days without calling, and then he will call me teasing me asking if I've fallen off the face of the earth since I haven't called him. I know I can call him, but sometimes I feel awkward, like I'm "chasing" him or something. And a lot of times when I call he doesn't answer or get the voicemail message so it gets frustrating.

    So right now I want to try to take a break from the friendship. He hasn't said anything about adding benefits, he calls me 5 days in a row and then skips 2-3 days, and since we don't get to see each other at the barn where we had horses in common, I feel like it's all cooling down, and I miss him.

    So I guess I came here looking for some horse talk to distract me, and also to ask what would you do if you were in my place? It's like he and I can talk about anything and everything except our friendship.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2012


    Personally I would ask him out to the movies or something. Your life will never change into what you want if you don't make it. I'd rather know that he'd not want to date me than be in limbo like you are. Stop over thinking things if a guy calls you back they like you. If he didn't like you he wouldn't call end of story.
    Eyes up, heels down, shoulders back, straight ahead, breathe, smile, love the feel, savor the ride.

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