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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2011
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    219

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    I agree that you need to move. Now. Anywhere.

    Put an ad on Craigslist -- mention your big, but nice dog. Put it in the farm and garden section in addition to the housing section.

    Be creative about where you go. A trailer on someone's property, a part care-taking position or something like that on a farm property could be a great way to get out of dodge.

    You really DO need to get out of this situation.

    Wishing you and your husband the very best!!!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    4,381

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    Yikes. Ditto on the move recommendation, and sending plenty of hugs.

    One other idea - if a place states a limit of 50 lbs or less, don't always take them at face value - especially if it's a private rental. I've stayed at a few hotels with my Irish Wolfhound (125 lbs) when they say they have a lower limit. I just explain that she's really laid back and always under control, and have been surprised that several will make an exception.

    And since you're only moving bed/clothes for now, consider also looking at rooms/rentals to share, and sublets on CL. Good luck!
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep. 29, 2007
    Location
    Steuben County, NY
    Posts
    85

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    Yes, get out of there. Tell us where you are, someone may be able to help!



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2004
    Location
    Left coast, left wing, left field
    Posts
    6,631

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    I totally agree that you have to move. But since that has been said many ways already, I'm going to take another angle.

    Is there any way to get mental health assistance for your father-in-law? I am not suggesting you dwell on this. If it is not feasible, either because of finances or his complete refusal to consider this, you should concentrate on your own lives and safety. But frankly, he sounds dangerous. Period. I can't even fathom what his on-the-job behavior must have been, to result in that level of unease among his coworkers.
    Arrange whatever pieces come your way. - Virginia Woolf

    Did you know that if you say the word "GULLIBLE" really softly, it sounds like "ORANGES"?


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2001
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    3,573

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    Wow!

    Get out now - there are worse things than living-under-an-overpass degree homeless and you are living it.

    You don't want to be in the house if a swat team breaks down the door after FIL does something nuts.
    Save Schrodinger's Cat!!!



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2002
    Posts
    5,426

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    i'm going to have to agree with getting out asap.
    used campers are cheap and many are extra light and can be towed with a mini van.
    campground memberships such as good sam, koa and passport america are a good way to save money at campgrounds and many have nice restrooms and amenities.
    best of luck!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2011
    Posts
    814

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    add me to the looong list of folks saying get out NOW!

    what about having someone foster your dog for a few months? perhaps look on FB in your area to see if they have a group ?

    or, as already mentioned, if you could give a general idea of where you are located, maybe one of us Cothers would be willing to take your dog for you.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2007
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,143

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    See if realtor can convince any of the potential landlords to meet the big dog. We did that for a vacation rental and once the dog made a good impression we were golden.

    Check craigslist and do post your location on here - sometimes there are private rentals that only go to horsepeople.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2012
    Posts
    282

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    Pay the $100 and get your dog a service dog license. (or whatever it is!) There are more legitimate places, I was looking it up one night as my husband DOES have a disability and my trainer has a service dog (she's had her a longgggg time, but it was for anger issues.) My customer has a house in Nicaragua, they won't take pitbulls in crates on airplanes anymore, so he got the service dog thing, and has been successfully taking his dog on the airplane to Nicaragua.

    Places can't turn you away with a service dog. My trainer right now is looking for a new place and everywhere is "no pets", except her service dog is allowed.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2010
    Location
    Texarkana, AR
    Posts
    1,806

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    Have you looked into a rent to own situation? The rent would go toward a down payment and it may solve your dog problem. You may also want to talk to the local prosecutor or law enforcement about FIL. If he is dillusional and is making threats, then you may be able to get him involuntarily committed.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    1,348

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    Again, if you could give us a hint of where you are, there might be one of us who could take your dog for a few months. I would; I am in western Michigan.

    Hudhomestore.com is a good place to check for housing. There has 'suggested' prices on the homes, but my co-worker got her first house for 1/3 what they were asking. The HUD site is very good, too, because it will tell you exactly what is currently wrong the the house. She has never paid more than $3500 for subsequential to-be-rented houses, and she has bought 4 or 5 since.

    Also, check the foreclosure website for your state. (In Michigan, it's tax-sale.info.) Sometimes the homes go for a song at the auction tax sale. Of course, in this case there is no guarantee of the condition of the home. My co-worker's neice paid $60 for a house that needed new windows, doors, and a good cleaning. Her nephew paid $300 for a home that was in immaculate condition.

    Now, you might not find something THAT cheap, but you can do a "drive by" to check condition of local homes. Remember, it only has to be for a little while. You can always rent out/sell the HUD house or tax sale home AFTER you build up your savings and find your FOREVER home.

    Good luck!
    "Oh, sure, you may be able to take down one smurf, but mark my words: You bonk one smurf, you better be ready for a blue wave."---Bucky Katt


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,109

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    Adding my hugs and holy sh*ts to the pile. You and your poor DH!

    I agree with everybody saying to get out, asap, no matter what you have to do. There are COTHers all over that may be happy to foster your dog for a bit. Sometimes once you establish yourself as a good renter, landlords are more open to pets. When we rented our condo in VT, it originally started as NO pets, NO exceptions... when we left we had 2 dogs (one rather large) and 2 cats.

    The other thing you can do is stretch it, doggie is around 50 lbs. If this isn't going to be a long term place, it makes more sense to stretch the truth about the dog's weight, than stay in a place where your in-laws are that deranged.

    Be CAREFUL moving out. FIL sounds like he could blow, and MIL is only going to help. Send them to the store together for groceries, or out to dinner, and run like the wind!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2009
    Posts
    1,022

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    Send them to the store together for groceries, or out to dinner, and run like the wind!
    When you move make sure no one tells where, and tell the in-laws you have to store your stuff, and don't even hint where you're moving to. Don't do a change of address with the post office either.
    Change everything to a PO box. Use prepaid cell phones that cannot be tracked. Can you move to the opposite side of the county/city, or the next county over? Eliminate any possibility of running into them, or anyone they know - change grocery stores, pet stores, dry cleaners, church, etc.

    Try looking for a housesitting situation; depending on where you are (e.g., FL or AZ), you may have snowbirds that are headed north for 6 months and would appreciate someone responsible in their home. They may also be more open to your dog once they meet her. A barter situation might also work - housing in exchange for occasional chores, etc.

    Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker - ALWAYS listen to your gut!!!

    Sounds like FIL may be in the early stages of dementia.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2010
    Posts
    3,091

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    Adding my hugs and Holy Sh!t

    Have you considered a 72 hour detention for FIL? Sounds like he's good canidate.



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    7,363

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    Is there any chance it was FIL who demolished your car?

    Also I would ask for housing recommendations [and maybe a letter of reference re: dog] from your Vet. and any other professionals you may know/work with re: animals and other relationships.

    Sometimes they know of a farm that has a house and needs someone to watch it while owners are away, or do yardwork as part of rent... something like that.

    And def. lie about the wt of your dog. Who can tell by looking anyway?
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    151

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    I'm adding my OMG and "get out now" to the chorus, too.

    I'll add a couple things, too: make sure that you leave nothing there when you go. Well, or leave absolutely everything and write it off as a loss. I have helped friends in a situation like this, and their crazy house-sharer/owner went bugnuts about everything they packed, even though they didn't take anything that wasn't their own. They were ready to leave everything, just to get away.

    Also, see what you can do to put in writing that you are not responsible for any costs after X date. Any kind of shield you can get against the crazy that WILL come once you leave with your money will help, and the more official and registered, the better. I don't know what you could do to get that, but I'd look into it.

    Good luck -- and get out, however you can.
    Nanakorobi yaoki: Seven times fall, eight times rise.
    http://reveilleandrinsie.blogspot.com


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,109

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela Freda View Post

    Also I would ask for housing recommendations [and maybe a letter of reference re: dog] from your Vet. and any o*+-ther professionals you may know/work with re: animals and other relationships.
    I just wanted to bold this because I think it's a really great idea!



  18. #38
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    10,972

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    I agree with the suggestion to try and get mental health professionals involved. FIL sounds like he is suffering from dementia (paranoia, violent outbursts, things like making threats and then denying it all can definitely indicate Alzheimer's, senile dementia, or other serious and potentially untreatable mental illness.) Doesn't mean you shouldn't get out quick, but they may need help. MIL may be in denial that he's dangerous.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2009
    Posts
    1,022

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    Also, see what you can do to put in writing that you are not responsible for any costs after X date.
    Make sure all utilities, cable, water, etc. are out of your name.

    You will get a ton of shit for "abandoning them in their time of need", "dumping (DH's) parents just when they need you most", etc

    Let their friends or church step in and help them. Maybe they are only this nutty with you - that's fine. But they ARE nutty with you, and the next appropriate steps need to be taken.

    It's you and DH (and your dog) that you have to worry about - your physical and mental safety, your financial safety (how sure are you they haven't opened accounts using your financial information, if your mail/bills have been coming to the house? Pull your credit reports ASAP - you are allowed one free report for each of you per year.), your marriage's safety.

    Good luck.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    9,785

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    The in-laws aren't your problem to solve. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, and they don't. You need to get out of there now. Give a location on here, and I'm sure people will PM you with places you can go. There might even be someone with an empty in-law suite, or somewhere for rent. Get creative, and be safe. You need to leave before something awful happens to one of you.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    1 members found this post helpful.

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