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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr. 30, 2001
    Posts
    2,105

    Exclamation I think my trainer thinks that I am an idiot or something

    F
    Last edited by hifi; May. 17, 2013 at 02:44 AM. Reason: regret



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 7, 2005
    Location
    Lancaster, PA
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    Is she supposed to know your history telepathically? All she has to go off of is your riding and it sounds like she sees the timid, not so coordinated rider as you just described yourself. It sounds like she wants to make sure you are comfortable with the jump heights and the horses you are riding. If you feel like you need a greater challenge but don't speak up about it, how should she know?


    20 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2012
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    634

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    I get what you are saying and agree with furlong about saying something and not expecting your trainer to be a telepath, but ...

    I don't want to sound like a jerk, but, from the description of your trainers actions and comments ("this horse is too green", "is this fence too big", etc.) I wonder how good of a rider you actually are. You do indeed have a very impressive history and I have no doubt you understand what you are doing, but all that means absolutely nothing if it doesn't translate to skill in the saddle. Maybe instead of worrying about her not giving you credit, maybe worry about whether or not you are missing a solid foundation and are not ready for the green horses, higher jumps etc. Please note, I'm not talking about being physically able to handle these things, but being able to handle them properly.

    The other option is that your trainer does not know what she is doing and does not recognize good riding when she sees it. If that's the case, then you should probably look elsewhere.

    Anyway ... this is all just my opinion for what its worth. Sorry if I offended you.
    ~ In the chaos of the showing, remember riding should be fun for all, including our 4-legged kids.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2006
    Posts
    7,384

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    Here's the thing-- it doesn't really matter what you were able to do "back in the day," the instructors/ trainers need to teach to where you are NOW. I'm not at all discounting your experience, but the fact you might have jumped 4' has little relevance to your skill set today if you haven't done it in 10 years. You may know tons of theory but you still have to be able to execute. And if you have not communicated your experience to your trainer, how could they know? Especially if you ride/represent like the "typical" adult ammie who is jumping 2' and riding a few times a week.

    I am not trying to insult you-- I used to ride 7-8 horses a day and jump 5 days a week. Now I'm lucky if I'm on a horse 1x a week. I have lots of knowledge in my head but the fitness level and coordination is not where it once was due to time off, limited riding, etc. the last 5 years.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 1, 2011
    Location
    Ontario
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    374

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    Sorta the same as the first responder....she won't know how far you are willing to go unless you show her.
    Even if you did already ask for a bigger challenge horse, you may not be showing you are capable of said horse.

    I myself an a re-rider who used to have no fear, no issue with bigger and higher jumps....when I was young and my bones were made of rubber.....now that I am older I tend to take it easier....and my coach doesn't know I used to jump all the time...she thinks I can barely canter....I take no offense, it's b/c she doesn't know what I haven't told her.
    Someday I may start jumping again...and hopefully wow her!
    if you havent fallen off a horse….then you havent been ridin long enough


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr. 6, 2010
    Location
    San Diego, CA
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    2,084

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    Hey don't knock the lessons with the walk/trot kids too hard! Sometimes honestly it helps to focus on the basics ESPECIALLY if you are timid. As my trainer has said to me "I'll take 10 successful walk/trot lessons over 1 disastrous canter lesson any day." Maybe your trainer is a skeptic like mine and makes you prove you can ride the ride before giving more challenges. Sure you worked with a course designer but did you actually ride the courses? I had my biggest wake up call when I started working with the rescue horses on the weekend. I was used to schoolies with perfect manners. Imagine my surprise when I got to handle a rank 3 y/o that had been so badly beaten he greeted my halter attempt with teeth and hooves flailing. Do I have experience with rank horses sure, about 15 years and a whole lotta courage ago. To the director I looked like a rank beginner with my attempts at handling. Could have died of embarrassment when I almost put the halter on upside down. *sigh* But after a few weekends of patience I get to handle the harder horses. Time and proving yourself are the keys to the harder horses.
    Adoring fan of A Fine Romance
    Originally Posted by alicen:
    What serious breeder would think that a horse at that performance level is push button? Even so, that's still a lot of buttons to push.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr. 30, 2001
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    2,105

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    I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2007
    Location
    Landrum, SC
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    1,830

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    If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
    Athletic Horses. Educated Riders.
    www.Ride-With-Confidence.com


    10 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 17, 2006
    Posts
    4,292

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melissa.Hare.Jones View Post
    If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
    I agree with this.
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ¯ Oscar Wilde


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2012
    Posts
    634

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    Quote Originally Posted by hifi View Post
    I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.
    Wait, wait, wait ... it's been two years and your trainer has not recognized your skill. I think you need to sit down and have a frank talk. Clearly you are on separate pages - either she does not understand what she is doing or you are getting mixed messages and are not riding as well as you think you are. Reality is probably somewhere between the two, but you need to get that straightened out as soon as you can.

    Good luck.
    ~ In the chaos of the showing, remember riding should be fun for all, including our 4-legged kids.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 24, 2001
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,631

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melissa.Hare.Jones View Post
    If you've already spoken to her plainly about your wish to move up, and you've spent the last two years frustrated, it's time to move on.
    This. Generally the time to have the conversation with the Trainer about your background/skills is in the first lesson or so. At least that's always been my experience. Either off the bat or after watching us warm up a bit, Trainer asks what we've been doing, what my goals were, etc. That would have been the point to say (for example) "Well, I used to do the A/O Jumpers, but I took a bad spill a few years ago, and have been starting over again with Greenie here. I'd like us to be doing the Adults next season" or whatever.

    Two years in, if you haven't had a conversation like this, it's time to either sit down and have a talk about goals and plan to move on if you don't meet them, or move on now if you feel like you've had that talk and gotten nowhere.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2009
    Posts
    6,998

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    Quote Originally Posted by hifi View Post
    "Is that fence too big for you?"
    Time for a new barn/coach
    If your trainer cannot accurately assess & challenge you in each lesson, you are wasting your time & money ...
    Most coaches/trainers faced with a new student, initiate a discussion on past experiences/goals.
    As neither your trainer nor her assistant are doing this, and their program is not working for you (after 2 years!!!), move on


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 9, 2010
    Location
    Milton, FL
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    517

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    Quote Originally Posted by hifi View Post
    I have been able to ride all the horses I have been given with ease. She says I ride each of them really well. I want to work on my confidence and am willing and capable of jumping higher. I would just like to advance. It has been nearly two years and have not learned much.
    Then talk to her. Tell her that your goal is to XYZ. My trainer in WA was great at pushing me toward my goals, but I told her that I wanted to advance. We did our first derby in WA with her. Trainers are pretty smart, but not clairvoyant.
    Steppin Not Dragon "Bella"
    Top Shelf "Charlie"
    Check out the Military + Horses fb page!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun. 17, 2001
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    down the road from bar.ka
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    32,225

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    Well, confuzzeled here, you said you were timid and a bit uncoordinated and complained another ammie was getting all the nicer, more challenging rides. Then said you were put in a WT lesson and the youngish instructor asked if a 2'9" fence was something you were comfortable with? What WT group jumps 2'9"? What is wrong with being asked by somebody who has not taught you before what you want to do? Plus that, at 40? Many trainers are going to be younger then you are, a lot of them hang it up, get hurt burn out or whatever-best get used to young up and comers teaching you. A lot are pretty darn good despite the age.

    Then you add another post and say you have done well with all the other horses you have been assigned to ride?

    Soooo, maybe if you wrote down your goals and what you are capable of and THEN sit down with your trainer for a chat you can be a little more clear then you are on here.

    One thing...generally, unless you or the trainer own or lease the horse you are on, usually not going to be jumping much over 3' if that-the owners can be picky about who rides on their dime. If you want to jump bigger but do not have the horse for it, maybe you could look into a half lease to get some recent experience at height. That's something else you can discuss with trainer.

    Oh, may I ask how many days a week you are riding? Are you there all the time or just once or twice a week?
    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr. 3, 2003
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    Up the creek from bar.ka
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    10,041

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    Quote Originally Posted by findeight View Post
    What WT group jumps 2'9"?
    Really. That's not a walk trot lesson group.

    Jumping 2'9" but you lack confidence and are uncoordinated? Hit the gym, get fit. Perhaps your fitness level is what is holding you back?

    I don't see what working for a vet or an equine studies degree has to do with riding? Your education has nothing to do with your riding ability, but your fitness level has everything to do with it. Why not ask the trainer what you can do to improve away from the barn?

    Or if you're super fit and it's just bad coaching, well... then maybe it's time to move on.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post

    I don't see what working for a vet or an equine studies degree has to do with riding? Your education has nothing to do with your riding ability...

    This.

    Knowing about horses and being able to ride them are two seperate things. Sounds like you definitely know a lot about horses but I am also confused about your situation and what you're saying.

    I'd say have one more chat with your trainer and then make up your mind about if you want to move on or stay. Just start the disussion in a tactful way that doesn't sound like you're accusing the trainer of anything. Like, "What do I need to improve on in order to jump bigger fences?" and "Are there any other horses you think I could try? I think some variety would benefit me."

    And when they answer, LISTEN.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2013
    Posts
    51

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    In working with a trainer for two years and she knows nothing about your past-I would say you both lack communication/chemistry and should move to someone you can be happy with. The trainer you have now does not think you can do more. 40 years experience means you are 50-60 +? maybe she is thinking about your safety more than your riding level by keeping you at a lower level...


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    533

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    One thing I'd recommend if you do decide to speak with your instructor (and it's totally up to you if you decide to give him/her another shot or move on instead) is to ask the instructor to give you a very specific list of what needs to happen before you move up. For instance, make him/her tell you, "In order to ride a horse like [one of the harder horses], I need to see you do X,Y, and Z every ride for a month." Or, "In order to move up to 3' fences, I need to see you do [these things] every ride for two weeks." At least that way you'll know what the instructor is waiting for and be able to achieve your goals faster because of it. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors of frustration in a situation like this.

    Best of luck!



  19. #19
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    Apr. 30, 2001
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    2,105

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    I was not put in WT lesson, I thought the walk trot instructor was going to set fences for me not give me a lesson. It is obvious I need to talk to her. She says the "are the fences too big" to most of her students and I see why there are so many wennies at my barn. The equestrian studies etc doesn't so much have to do with my riding lessons but our discussions in general. She gives the air that she knows all and I know nothing. I don't go around telling everyone about my accomplishments because that isn't who I am (this board is anonymous).



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 22, 2005
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    Where it is perpetually winter
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    5,356

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    Wait, let me get this straight: you ride a lesson horse? Or you have your own that is admittedly limited in ability? You expected that you were just going to have fences set for you? Why?

    OP, maybe I'm just crabby from being in the midst of finals week and if that is the case, my apologies, but to me, you come across as being on your high horse. A lot. From your description, you are riding like the stereotypical adult ammy - nothing wrong with that, but not the kind of rider that gets to jump willy-nilly without being instructed either. I think you need to communicate better with your instructor, and if you are noticing this kind of pattern, maybe re-evaluate how you're riding (or even better, get someone to video you so you can see it).


    9 members found this post helpful.

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