How long after losing your heart horse did it take for you to get another horse?
My mare passed away before I found another horse. She took another fall and her injures were to much for her to have a comfortable life as a pasture puff. I never found a second horse before her passing, so I abandoned the idea of another horse. She was my heart horse and I was completely heart broken.
So I was wondering, how long did it take for you to get another horse?
First, I am so sorry for your loss. I've been there too, with a beloved mare, KC, who was taken in the prime of her life by founder. A barnmate wisely counseled me that my heart would be empty without a horse to fill that space. My new horse, for whom I began searching maybe a month after my first mare's death, never took the space of my old mare but moved into her very own spot. For me, having that new but very different life with which to interact was key in my grieving process.
I know a lot of people feel differently, and that's okay, because we all process experiences in our own way, in our own time. I admit that I had worried that I'd end up feeling like a traitor to KC, as if New mare, Lily, was a replacement. But I never did feel that way, without even having to try. If you can think of your heart as having unlimited space for love, you won't worry about it.
Now, there’s only one fly in all this ointment, and you’ve already guessed it. What about big heads that are stupid? That’s where the whole system can lead to its own destruction. –James Burke
I think that the main reason in haven't looked is because I don't want to compare another horse to her. She was everything I wanted and more. A week after her passing, someone had listed on my local cl a mare with nearly identical markings. It broke my heart even more.
My family has been trying to get me to sell my trailer and tack and forget about then whole horse thing, but that is where my heart lies.
I already had other horses, so a little bit different. I think if I hadn't, it would have been a long time before I looked again. But I would have looked again.
I think storing your stuff rather than selling is the way to go, buying everything again is expensive
Originally Posted by SnootyFilly
. A week after her passing, someone had listed on my local cl a mare with nearly identical markings. It broke my heart even more.
I also had a mare in foal with my 'next' horse, as my oldie was being retired (sadly he didn't get that chance).
Re: your quote above. The foal that arrived looks so much like my old horse, almost identical colour and markings (flaxen chestnut with chrome), I'm not going to keep her (for various reasons but the similarity is one of them) and I feel bad about it.
I am keeping a different filly instead that is nothing like my old horse in appearance or anything else, and dont compare them as they are apples and oranges. But I love her SO MUCH (really, a scary amount) that I would say there is always more of your heart to give.
For me personally, a month was WAY too soon after my heart horse died, and I wish I hadn't done it. That horse is now gone, and in all honesty right now I still feel like I really don't EVER want another one.
"The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief
I already had a second horse when I lost my heart horse. The unfortunate part was that I was living in FL for grad school while he was in PA. It made losing him that much more difficult. At that point, I wasn't riding because I was finishing my thesis and was close to graduation. It took me 6 years after grad school to finally look for another horse. I'm now back to two horses, but one is in PA while the most recent addition (greenie) is here with me in MS.
All three horses were/are different, but similar in ways too. All boys and all May babies (dumb luck). I think my greenie is more similar to my heart horse. He loves playing games and occasionally does stupid stuff, but will save my butt if needed. But they all hold different places in my heart.
I got my next horse before I lost my heart horse. I knew that even if I could make him pasture sound, he would be retired. Sadly, I had to let him go. Cushings and founder.
I knew I couldn't be without a horse so I bought a 2 year old prospect before Rocket died. It helped tremendously for my heart, for my health, for something positive to work toward while I was nursing Rocket thru his last days.
The new horse was not 'instead of Rocket' but in addition too. I have never actually replaced Rocket. But having another horse to work with helped me move on and stay active.
My heart goes out to you...it is so hard, especially when you don't have time to prepare for it they way I did. I spent 2 years trying to save Rocket. I was sad that I never felt about the new horse the way I felt about Rocket...our bond was just so special. The new horse didn't work out but I kept him anyway. He's a pasture puff now. My using horse is becoming very special to me but I don't feel that bond that Rocket and I had. I love him very much tho and am blessed to have had Rocket AND my Harry.
I have found with both my dogs and my horses, you never replace them, you just add them to your family.
I do compare any horse to my heart horse who I refer to as "the gold standard" but they are all unique and fill your life in different ways.
I would strongly suggest you do NOT sell anything yet. When it was time to retire my HH I told myself I was done with riding and showing. That lasted about a year! Back to doing it all again, it is just part of who you are
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." --Ghandi
I already had two others when I lost my boy, otherwise I'm not sure I would have gotten another right away. The two I had left did help keep me in horses.
I have another gelding now. Neither the same color nor even the same breed. JJ is nothing like Conny in looks or temperament, but he's the best horse for where I am now in my life. He'll never be Conny, but he has his own special place in my heart, as do the other two.
My deepest, most heartfelt condolences. It's so very hard to lose any of them, but a heart horse is even worse.
Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.
For me it was about a year. And I cried on the way to the barn the day she was delivered. Because I wanted my Paint Pony back instead.
I'm pretty my sure current horse thought her name was "Not Paint Pony" for quite a while.
I do love her, but not in the same way. And that's OK. I just focus on the things that are great about her (she's easier to ride) and I keep the Paint Pony and her antics in my heart.
Just give yourself time. It's different for everyone.
ETA: I did actually have another horse at the time. He was retired and living about an hour away at a retirement farm. I didn't want anything to do with him for a while. Mostly because he was "old" and I wished it had been him. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. I really resented him for a long time.
(Which really did end up being a long time - he lived until age 32! And yes, I really did love him too )
Last edited by PaintPony; May. 9, 2013 at 12:20 PM.
I lost my two geldings two weeks apart. The first one was my amazing show horse that died suddenly of colic. Then two weeks later I lost my young homebred gelding that was like my child. I still had two pasture pet mares but it wasn't the same. I bought my current gelding 1 month later and have NO regrets. He did not ease my heartbreak but he sure gave me something to look forward to everyday.!!
RIP Sucha Smooth Whiskey
May 17,2004 - March 29, 2010
RIP San Lena Peppy
May 3, 1991 - March 11, 2010
I already had my second horse when my heart horse died suddenly. I'm glad Freedom was already mine because I don't think I could have gone out horse shopping and I might have regretted whatever I bought.
I have two friends who bought too soon and they never clicked with their new horses, who suffered from comparison.
Freedom missed Kroni too so the two of us grieved together. He's not the same as Kroni but I've come to love him as much in a different way.
I have never bonded with current horse like I did with my heart horse, and in a way he found me. In so many ways he is actually a more suitable horse, but it still isn't the same.
But it really has worked out well for him. He is a quiet steady type who loves to jump, and a couple of kids at our barn enjoy riding and showing him, so I spoil him and they play with him. Guess it all works out pretty well
\"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.\" Anne of Green Gables