1. Me: "I got kicked in the head."
Dr: "What kicked you in the head?"
Me: " A horse."
Dr: "Come again?"
2. After taking a ride in the special bus to the ER and while strapped to a gurney..
Dr: "So I hear you were in a car accident."
Me: "No, I was in a cart accident."
Dr: "Yes that's what I said. We should probably have your head looked at in addition to your back."
Me: "No really, my head is fine. I was in a cart accident. Like horse and buggy."
Dr: Blink Blink... "OK, who was driving this cart?"
Me: "Me, it was a one cart accident"
I have only been to the ER once, I couldn't stop throwing up and after a panicked midnight call from hubby to his mama, he rushed me to the ER. He ran inside to tell them I was coming (men don't deal with emergencies well, do they?) and I came in 2 minutes later, crawling on my hands and knees, dragging my dogs bowl with me with dried dog food and barf in it. It's the only barf bucket I had
However, I had a horse break my foot. No, not a horse, a stupid draft mule! I was moving him across the show grounds, and he was SUPER high (note: I'm 5'1"), and he jumped the retaining wall, but used my foot as his base leverage. He found out why my animals don't push my buttons, I get all superhuman strength. I yanked his butt back over, pushed him maybe 15?ft backwards into a stall, and slammed the Dutch doors in his face. He was much better after a timeout, but my foot was not ok. I hobbled home to my trainer, who fixed my foot up, I couldn't walk on it for a week, couldn't put uneven pressure on it for a year, and it is still discolored, you can see the hoof print It's been 4 years.
I was jumping a line on my (hot) horse. Cece sometimes will land off a jump and launch straight into the air, but I always sit it. I don't usually fall off of her, so when we did a jump stride stride jump land BUCK and I fell off, my trainer began laughing. I sat up and felt like I couldn't breathe because my leg hurt so badly. Trainer is still laughing, but the trainer's sweet corgi came over and started licking my face, and my horse came closer to check me out.
Trainer says, "Is it broken?"
Me "No, but it really hurts"
Trainer "Hospital or on the horse"
Me "On the horse"
Trainer "Then get on and do that again, without falling off."
Turns out I burst a bursa over my hip. I found this out because after I spent the next two weeks sleeping on an ice pack because there was no other way for me to get to sleep and the next two months with a mystery swelling over my hip I went to the doctor.
She couldn't believe someone could do that by falling, she said those injuries are more common to more serious accidents. I could either minimize my activity for several months, or get a giant injection that would take me out for a couple weeks but then get everything back to normal afterward. It was the middle of the show season. I chose to tough it out, sleep with icepacks, and take an Advil when I needed to be 100% fully functional.
Horse people are a little nuts.
If you need me, I'll be outside battening down the hatches... for the holidays, not the rain.
When I had more guts than sense, I rode a horse that was very difficult and had dumped several people. She exploded with me and I was too stupid to jump off so I stayed on until we were both gasping for air. She walked off as if nothing happened. Later that night, my chest still hurt and I had trouble breathing. I expected stiff muscles everywhere, but not the difficulty breathing, so off to the local ER. I had pleurisy! From a bucking horse, LOL! A bunch of ER folks popped in to get more details. They had a lot of fun with that story.
The next day, I went to the barn and was quite happy to see the mare moving around quite slowly as well. She recovered and was much better after that ride. Maybe the soreness made bucking not as much fun?
Oh, and if you have a horse that bucks? I am not helping you! I have more sense and much less guts these days.
Oh, and I broke my back (this was before the pleurisy) jumping from a horse that reared up and was coming over backwards. We were going up a hill and a bulldozer came over, right at us, when we were almost at the top. No cones or signs on the trail warning about construction (they were working on the road nearby, but should not have been on the fire trail). My horse reared up and slipped on the gravel. I felt her slip and pushed off, aiming for the grass. She recovered and did not fall over backwards down the hill. Thank God I was bareback because it would have taken too long to kick the stirrups off. The bulldozer backed off over the hill and my horse just stood there trembling and waiting for me. The barn was behind us and I know she really wanted to run like hell away from the bulldozer. The tall grass would've been a fine landing zone, except for the rock my lower back found. I made sure everything worked and crawled back on my loyal horse. I sought out the bulldozer and walked her by several times until she quieted (he had returned to the road). It was a rough ride home. BTW, I was wearing a helmet or things would've been much different.
Of course, in the classic horse person way, I thought it was just sore and kept working and riding and running. I saw an idiot doctor two weeks later and he said that I wasn't in enough pain to have anything broken so it must just be muscles soreness and told me to take Tylenol. Medical personnel frequently underestimate the pain threshold of farmers and horse folks. The pain didn't get better (go figure) so I finally went back to see someone about a year and half later.
I had bone fusion surgery on my lower back. As soon as that brace came off, I started riding again.
Got kicked in the head once and had a laceration on my forehead that needed suturing, so drove myself over to the ER.
(Scared hell out of the gas station attendant on the way...)
Orderly gave me an ice pack to hold over it while we waited for the MD, and chuckled when I slapped it right over the wound--"you horse people all do that. Everyone else puts it on really carefully. But you horse people, you just slap it right on."
We had a yearling filly "that was never quite right in the head", as they say around here.
This one time, she came in with the herd all scratched up, like she ran thru the brush hard.
Our vet came to sew her up and had her sedated well and worked on her hind leg cut when she kicked out hard and cut his bald head.
He was bleeding hard and first he wanted me to sew him up with his vet supplies, I had worked in an ER before, but no way was I going there, we wanted to take him in, so he insisted he finish the filly first.
He did, while we kept changing his blood soaked pads on his head.
There was more blood around from him than ever came from that cut filly, that healed fine, but still was "not quite right", what ailed her not her cuts, but a badly wired brain.
I think that one requirement to be a large animal vet is a hard head.
Not horse but cat related. My good friend had a beloved cat with FIV and her vet recommended sub-Q lactated ringers. I have oodles of experience with this and cats (lost two to kidney disease) so I offered to show her how. Her cat did NOT. take kindly to this at all and bit me hard on my right thumb knuckle, right down to the bone. I drove myself to the ER and had the sense to take off my ring on the way. By the time I got there my hand had swollen up to twice its size. The debrided the wound with a steel (AAAAAAAA!) brush. They ended up calling the CDC to find out if FIV could be transmitted to humans (it can't). Couldn't use the hand for over a week.
Armando del Fuego, Best Boy Ever (almost always)
Member of the Not Too Klassy For Boxed Wine Clique
Proud owner of The Roadkill Cafe
I was on spring break my freshman year of college and was staying with my mom and 16 year old (at the time) sister who was also on spring break for the week. I had just come home from riding and was absolutely filthy from a hot sweaty day on a green bean and my sister was fixing sweet tea and poured boiling water in a cold glass jar. The jar exploded all over her and she had boiling hot water covering her lower torso and thighs. Luckily she ripped off her PJ pants so they didn't melt into her skin, but that did give me the lovely sight of watching her skin turn black and fall off
I got her in the shower/tub and turned the water on while we waited for the ambulance. Long story short lots of police cars, fire trucks, ambulances, and first responders showed up and we ended up in the ER. I was completely filthy and still wearing half chaps and paddock boots. My sister ended up with 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over her thighs. It's been just over 7 years and she's doing fine now.
All for sweet tea... If the ER doctors didn't feel so bad for her I am sure it would have been funny.
Ouch Idaziens- I was recently looking at cactus spines under a microscope. The one I have has big spikes which are pretty smooth like a needle- but the tiny furry almost invisible ones are barbed like fish-hooks on a microscopic level- vicious mean plant!
I broke my ankle skateboarding at 41 years old. I also had a young baby I was breastfeeding at the time (not at the time I was skateboarding) so I had to always mention that fact to be sure that all meds were breastfeeding safe etc. Medical staff were generally polite- but I am sure they were laughing about me out in the hall.
I live in Georgia where the odd thunder storm is apt to pop up at almost any time. One popped up one afternoon while I was out, my husband trying to be helpful, let the horses in the barn. Not into their stalls, just into the barn aisle. When I got out there the horses were kinda freaked out milling around in the barn aisle so I went to shoo them out. The older horses left but my 6 month old colt was feeling frisky and kicked out at me....caught me in the hand (right index finger) which flared with pain and then instantly went numb and tingly. I finished my evening chores and went in and wrapped the finger and put it on ice. The next day the finger and hand was very swollen and colorful so I kept it wrapped, went to work and worked half the day before, at the urging of my co-workers, I went to my doctor. My doctor was very used to horse related injuries and barely even raised a brow at my story.....at least one of my horse friends used the same doctor so this kind of thing was nothing new to him. I ended up having to have surgery on some damaged cartilege and tendons. Still can't fully bend the finger and it's been over 10 years.
"My biggest fear is that when I die my husband is going to try to sell all my horses and tack for what I told him they cost."
After a friend's 2 yr old spun around and kicked me in the stomach, lacerating my pancreas... I was having fits with the ER people telling them to NOT cut off my schooling chaps and that the short boots I had on would easily come off, no need to cut them, either! Thank heavens chaps have buckles front and back and long zippers on the sides!
Not me, but MANY years ago an acquaintance of mine purchased a Hungarian WB that was, perhaps, a bit more horse than she was capable of handling competently. Nice horse, but....and boarded it in Golden Gate Park - a place that required a pretty close to bomb-proof horse. So, one day, she's riding up a slight hill towards Stowe Lake. There's a low, single rail rustic fence to her left. Something set the horse off and it spun around, jumped the low fence, skidded down the slope and dumped her in the middle of the main drive through the Park, did a little dance on her, and took off. She had a broken leg, hip fractures AND a pneumothorax (punctured lung). She was loads of money and could easily have purchase new EVERYTHING, but when they got her to the ER she insisted that the pull - not cut - off her boots and very expensive breeches. She said she would grit her teeth and stand the pain - they were NOT going to ruin her clothes! !!
I'm currently sitting up in bed just out of my second surgery since Friday when I fell off my greenie. Nothing dramatic - he spun, I dismounted (not by choice) and just plain came down wrong - on my feet. Open fracture of both my tibia and fibula, bone sticking out, foot flopping to the side and all. Almost everyone I've encountered, from the ambulance people to the nurses, to all the others who've traipsed through my room seem fascinated by the fact that I'm so nonchalant about it. Apparently the fact that I'm cracking jokes, up and ready to go take a trip to the bathroom right after surgery, etc. just doesn't happen with even some "big, tough men". And they seem amazed that I did that much damage just by falling off a horse. I figure, it's happened and I can't change it, might as well have a sense of humor about it.
Similarly--I had a bad fall about 3 years ago and ended up with a compound tib-fib fracture (also tore the ACL in my other leg). I had my cell phone on me, so called 911 right away. I'm talking to the operator waiting for help, and I go "um, I just looked at my leg, and there's a definite discrepancy in the angle of my leg". Operator is like, yeah, don't look at it again. Then I start bawling and saying "and my horse ran away and I don't know where she went!" Operator: "Well, let's worry about you right now and we'll find your horse later." I'm sure he was wondering why on earth I WANTED to find her, lol.
Got to the hospital via helicopter, and as the EMTs are transferring me over to the ER people, they're explaining what happened and they keep saying "compound fracture". I hadn't realized it was compound, and it was freaking me out, so I'm like "could you stop saying compound fracture?" They asked me what I'd prefer, and I said "um, boo-boo?" At one point they were joking and laughing and apologized for laughing when I was in so much pain, but I just told them it was fine, it's better to be laughing than crying.
I did, however, learn something very important: When you're in recovery after surgery and they won't give you enough pain meds, don't ask for euthanasia. You'll have a nice nurse ask you very seriously if you're thinking about suicide.
A month or so later, I went to a new ortho for my torn ACL and was filling out all the paperwork with details on my injuries and surgeries. The receptionist is looking at me and the paperwork and asks "were you in a car accident?" I said "you'd think so, wouldn't you? No, I fell off my horse."
Not horse related, but I was driving to the grocery store and my lung collapsed.
Just married, I called my husband, who was hauling snow out of the nearby town because they ran out of room to store it, and say to him, "hey, my lung collapsed, I am going to drive myself to the ER". He says to go home and he'll pick me up.
Picks me up, looks at me, I am calm, cool and collected, and states that I probably just strained a muscle shoveling the days prior or something. To which I reply, "no, my lung is collapsed, trust me."
Get to ER, admittance nurse asks me what the problem is, I state collapsed lung. She just about loses her eyeballs. Asks what I was doing, I state, "driving to the store" she then tries really hard not to laugh.
They send me back to the waiting room, I wait 10 minutes or so, get taken in by the doctor, who asks what is wrong... again, "my lung collapsed driving to Walmart". Doctor nearly snickers, places stethoscope on my chest, promptly stops laughing, and orders a X-ray.
I then become the ER Freak whose lung collapsed during a leisurely drive. And it's the gift that keeps on giving - every time I go to a new doctor, and they ask about previous surgeries and such, I get to explain it all over again!
Was out on a full day of trimming. Second horse, who I've trimmed many times before with the grinder, was put into cross ties for his turn.
Well that day he didn't want to stay... no no, he'd rather go play with his girlfriends. Right as he pulled back, I turned and WHAMMO he slipped the halter and it slingshotted at me, cracked me right in the face, above my left eye. Thank God it didn't break my glasses.
I leaned over after taking them off to stop the birdies from circling my head and saw -drip -drip -drip. Ummm, Houston? We have a problem.
"Anyone have papertowel or tissues?!" I yell.
"No" answers back the British barn owner, "but we do have coffee filters."
"Ok, I'll take that." and there I sat holding coffee filters on my eyebrow, alternating with a frozen bottle of water.
Friend looks at it closely... "Um, it's split wide open. You need stitches."
"I don't have time for stitches. I've got 4 more horses to trim. Just stick a butterfly on it."
Sufficiently patched up, I returned to trimming. Promptly sweated through 3 butterflies.
After I got home and showered, I took a close look. Oh, well, shazam. There's a hole in my face and I see bone. Hmmmm, maybe I should get those stiches afterall.
After sitting in the Kaiser 24/7 clinic for 3 hours and telling said story repeatedly to every medical professional & semi-professional who walked in, I received my 3 stitches and instructions not to bend over. Right doc... I've got 4 more trimming clients tomorrow.
<>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- "When they try to tell you these are your Golden years, don't believe 'em.... It's rust."
Three summers ago, my leg started hurting. Three weeks earlier, my youngest daughters 32 year old mare had run me over as I opened the gate to bring her in for breakfast...I went flying through the air and landed on my left side.
The leg hurt for 2 weeks and I figured I had pulled something. Ironically, my daughter had an appointment with our ortho, but on that particular day, the leg didn't hurt anymore, so I didn't mention it to the doctor.
The next week, it of course started hurting again, and by Friday, I realized the leg was swollen a bit, so I called the office to make an appointment.
Thankfully, the receptionist mentioned bloodclots, and said that if the swelling got worse over the weekend, to call the office and follow the emergency instructions.
Well, that evening, after sitting at the computer for a few hours, I got up at 9 and made my way into watch some tv with my husband. I commented how my leg was really hurting and told him that I had made an appointment for Monday. He asked to see the leg. Well, I rolled up the leg of the sweat pants I was wearing...and was horrified to see an elephant leg! It was massive! Well, I called my doctor at home and he replied "honey, you have a blood clot. Get yourself to the hospital pronto."
I chose to go to the hospital he was associated with, which meant driving past my local hospital and one more. It was a Friday night, downtown Orlando and I actually had to go through a metal detector in the ER! Apparently, there are quite a number of gang related shootings and so they have to have the metal detector as they have had thugs try and finish the job at the hospital. At that point, I was ready to have my husband take me back to the Winter Park hospital...had it not been that I wanted my ortho to take care of me (even though it wasn't ortho related, he did come visit me and helped me find an internist.) Thankfully, he had already called the hospital and after standing behind a meth-head and sitting next to some sketchy people for only a few minutes, I was taken back into the exam room...which I shared with 2 drunk men ( I was really pissed that they would put not one but then another drunk man in with a woman.) This was after I had sent my husband home, as I was just waiting for transport to a room, which ended up taking forever. The doctors and nurses would keep asking how it was that I had a blood clot (like I know why?). And I would say, well, I got run over by a horse a few weeks ago, so that is the only reason I can think of. And of course, they were "what???"
Thankfully, once I was out of the ER and in the hospital, it was much quieter and nicer...in fact, I had a private room on the heart floor. The nurses enjoyed having me, as the average age on that floor was about 75 and my reason being there was a novelty....I had to repeat myself several times, explaining how the horse knocked me several feet into the air as she ran past me to get into her stall.
The staff at the local ER all know me well. I think they must laugh behind my back at all the ridiculous things I manage to do to myself. And they used to be suspicious that I was being abused - "are you sure someone isn't hurting you honey?" Yeah, she has 4 legs and weighs about 900 lbs.
The one where I got the most attention was when my horse landed from a jump, fell, and flipped over on top of me. I got knocked out, and in her haste to get up, my mare scrambled and stepped on me several times - I had a hoof print on my right bicep, my shin, and it looked like she must have dragged a hoof across my face.
I'm told she stepped on the helmeted part of my head as well. In addition there was a HUGE chunk of skin missing from my elbow - my friend says it looked like someone had taken a bite out of it.
And because I am unfortunate like that, it had poured rain the night before and the ring was complete soup. I was soaking wet and had sand everywhere - including the gross wound on my elbow. Yeah, it was an awesome day.
So they take me, muddy, wet, bleeding, and concussed to the ER where everyone is looking at me like I have 3 heads! My friend's mom made sure I was seen right away by announcing to everyone that a horse had stepped on my head.
I couldn't undress myself so there were 2 nurses who had to help me. The expression on their faces was priceless as they were peeling off my muddy clothes and boots. I must have looked like the swamp thing!
The best part was when the doctor had to scrub the pound of sand out of the hole in my elbow. I think every single doctor and nurse in the entire ER came in to gawk and me and wonder exactly HOW I managed to end up like that.
There have been other stupid ones too - my horse stomped at a fly at the exact moment I bent down to fix her bell boot and her knee and my eye socket had a lovely meeting. I kept having to explain that I didn't get kicked in the face, just kneed. Oh yeah and that time I broke up a cat fight and had a vein in my wrist get punctured by my own cat's tooth - it was like a freakin' crime scene!
I seriously could go on - I'm THE most unfortunate person I know. My friends and family always say "only YOU PaintPony......"
I had a colt that would literally go.seeking out my crop so he could eat it. Went through about ten of them. I didn't leave them out, he could pick the tack room door open.
I gave up buying crops because there were perfectly good trees with branches around. (hey, I was 13!!!)
My gelding wouldn't ever school over jumps unless you had a crop in hand. Never had to use it, he just would jump if you had the stinking crop in hand.
That day, he propped and then bounced over the jump from a near standstill. I rose forward to stay with him and that stick went right up my nose. I naturally pulled back, and when we landed, it went up the other side. My best friend at the time was watching and I told her to put him up as I sputtered blood and ran to my house. I bust through the door and coughed blood all over the kitchen walls and my poor mother.
I wonder how she survived my childhood. I was the first stick up the nose over for that ER. Blowing ones nose to keep it bleeding to flush debris is something I haven't forgotten.
Last edited by Jane Honda; Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:59 AM.
Reason: oh, i started buying.crops again after that and keeping them in my room.
Originally Posted by dizzywriter
My saddle fits perfectly well. It might be a little tight around the waist, but I take care of that with those spandex things.
1) trying to tame feral Arab colt that some idiot bred and left in the field for two years. I thought we were getting along fine but apparently I triggered some defense mechanism while working with him one day and he reared up and came down on me with his knees. Cut on my forehead, had to go to ER in smelly barn clothes.
2) Trying to feed horses in the pasture. My sister's alpha gelding popped his head up while I was putting feed in the next horse's pan and cracked me right in the face - orbital bones around eye. Two black eyes and I was teaching at the local AF base every day. I announced every day that I'd had a horse accident. At the same time I got excessive wax in my ears and had to go to urgent care - when I checked in the receptionist looked at me like I was crazy when I said my ear was bothering me. The black eyes were hard to miss!
My poor husband started feeling very paranoid since police were in the ER for incident #1. I think the smelly clothes cleared up any suspicions.
Last Wednesday I got an ambulance ride courtesy of my younger mare, and the EMT's must've been familiar with horse people, because they asked me right away if my field boots had zippers They definitely cut my shirt, and maybe my breeches, but I was wearing a ratty old shirt and $13 discount bin breeches, so I can totally live with that. But they took good care of my boots and gloves. Gloves weren't even all that nice, but in my addled state, I'd sort of taken to clinging to them like a stuffed animal, so the first responders decided they must've been special.
And I kept correcting the nurses and doctors, who kept saying my horse bucked me off. She didn't. She spooked, and I FELL. No bucking. Just a startle response and a healthy dose of rider incompetence, thankyouverymuch :P
Nurses were much more scandalized by my lack of modesty than anything, I think. They put me in a gown that was missing a tie, and then every time they had me get up for more imaging or something, they fussed over my butt peeking out. And I was like "Seriously ladies? I've got three chipped teeth, two black eyes, a concussion, a sprained ankle, and a spleen laceration, among other things. A little bit of fresh air on my derriere does not even register on my list of concerns right now."
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."