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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 14, 2006
    Posts
    227

    Default Mom has difficulty dealing with my SO's unconventional family business....

    I have been dating this great guy for about 1yr but my mom cannot seem to get past what his family business is and it's really driving me crazy. He doesn't work there, we do not hangout there, it's really a non factor but the judgement he receives from her because of it upsets me to no end. I'm 32yrs old would like to marry this guy and possibly have children (something that I never thought I'd want to do) but fear she won't ever be totally happy for me.

    And because I'm sure everybody wants to know the business......they own massage parlors. Yes the happy ending kind.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
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    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
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    11,125

    Default

    Are we talking sleazy Asian massage parlors or Massage Envy?
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have,
    at this moment, been thrown up from below!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 11, 2008
    Location
    gorgeos city
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    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by steelerino View Post
    And because I'm sure everybody wants to know the business......they own massage parlors. Yes the happy ending kind.



    It's a pity she can't separate him from what the family does, esp as he is not a part of it. She needs to see him for the individual he is. If he is nice to you, treats you right, and you are into him, then that's kind of the important part.
    I think your mom is actually the one with the problem, not the dude. Tainting/judging by familial association (which we have no control over) is unfair.
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    6 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 11, 2008
    Location
    gorgeos city
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    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LexInVA View Post
    Are we talking sleazy Asian massage parlors or Massage Envy?
    How would you know the difference, Lex?
    Inquiring minds need to know.
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    12 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
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    4,049

    Default

    Do you live in Reno where it's legal ? Otherwise I'd agree with your Mom, not wise, as illegal businesses come to grief.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
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    on and off the bit
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    Default

    Well I think I know the kind you are talking about but all I have are two good friends who have worked as massage therapists.

    I'm sorry your mom has a problem with a business that your SO has no interest in, financial or familial or otherwise.

    I think you are being a good "child" (I realize you're an adult) to let the fact that your mom minds affect you--shows you care about her! I can understand why she would object to the business but after all your SO's family could have so many other involvements that could potentially be problems for you all so I wish she could be more objective instead of just objecting. I also assume she has your best interests at heart. Does she know your SO well? Has she bothered to get to know him?

    Although I do understand why she would object, that does not mean I agree with her!
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
    "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
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    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey the Marcher View Post
    How would you know the difference, Lex?
    Inquiring minds need to know.
    I'm not speaking from experience but both have been present where I live. They cleaned out the sleazy Asian ones through police and ICE stings and whatnot - many had ties to ethnic organized crime and were offering sexual services and some offered prostitution - and now there are many more wholesome massage parlors around that offer therapeutic massage and spa services.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have,
    at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
    20,330

    Default

    George Costanza, come on down!
    EDDIE WOULD GO


    7 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 14, 2006
    Posts
    227

    Default

    Yes Lex it is the sleazy kind or she wouldn't have a problem. The business has been open since the 90's and has yet to be shut down so idk and i dont ask how they get around it. i know they are not " full service". She lives in Cali and I'm in florida so she hasn't had much time around him only 2 live interactions. I'm a only child, my mother and my aunt are my only family I speak to. He has a very large family who have been nothing but nice to me and have embraced me into the family. I'm not naive, been around enough questionable stuff in my lifetime and I don't feel uncomfortable with any aspect of it. But I swear sometimes I think my mom believes I would quit my county job of 12yrs to go work there or something! It's crazy.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
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    9,019

    Default

    I personally do not understand the whole big issue about sex being bad. I believe that massage parlors, yes the kinds that end with sex, and prostitution should be legal everywhere and licensed and regulated for health and safety reasons.......and heavily taxed. I've know judges and prosecutors who frequented the foregoing. In Atlanta, we didn't try any of them in superior court as they were all misdemeanors so were handled in state court next door. Who cares what people do with others as long as it's consenting and it's out of sight? Obviously there is a lot of money in sex, since people spend a fortune on it. Mike Thevis made millions in Atlanta on the sex trade until he decided to murder one of his rivals.

    And the politicians, wow, those guys spend even more of the money we pay them to buy sex. My friend Delores French, who was once the most successful hooker in Atlanta (and wrote a book about her career), told great tales of the state and local politicians who liked to be spanked. And those who paid by check.

    If everyone knew how many parents cheat on each other and buy sex, they would want it licensed and regulated also. Marry the guy if you love him. And if he doesn't cheat. Too many diseases out there now in the unregulated market of cheaters, and some of those diseases are fatal. (Delores said she never got near anyone who wasn't wearing a raincoat, LOL.)


    29 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2003
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    3,338

    Default

    OP: If this is the worst that happens to you in your search for Mr. Right, then mom should be dancing a jig instead of kvetching.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
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    12,262

    Default

    Tell your mom that people don't get to pick their parents or blood relatives. Your boyfriend isn't in that business, so she needs to get over it. After all, your boyfriend is still interested in you in spite of your judgmental mom...


    11 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,185

    Default

    I guess mom is afraid you're going to join the family business, and you'll be on CNN some night. Or even though your boyfriend isn't in the business, that someday he'll take it over, or start his own branch.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    3 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun. 8, 2008
    Posts
    777

    Default

    A man is who he is, not what his family is. That said, when you marry, you marry into that family. Are these the type of people you want for in-laws? are they the grand parents you would want for your children?
    Difficult situation, the guy sounds great! Too bad his family couldn't be the same.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
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    3,675

    Default

    If she lives in Cali and you and BF live in Fl, how did she find out?

    Did you tell her? I live in Fl and am unaware of happy ending massage parlors and I am in Tampa, home of the stripper pole!

    Some times ignorance is bliss


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2008
    Posts
    2,774

    Default

    Your mom thinks her daughter is too good to get involved with a guy whose family is in an illegal business involving prostitution. That's not so much a problem as a sign she's normal and sane. It might be exasperating since you want to date him, but - well, so what? It's probably exasperating to her that her daughter wants to marry into a family that profits off sexual exploitation. She has to cope with that, you have to cope with her complaints about it.

    On a personal note - maybe he's 110% uninvolved with the family business. But if he's tight with family and he's a grown man, that's significant. He is on some level more comfortable with what they do than I'd want in a husband or as the future father of my children. Just a thought.


    31 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 16, 2010
    Location
    MI
    Posts
    245

    Default

    OP, you might want to change the title of your post. That's not so much an "unconventional" business as an illegal one.


    17 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2005
    Location
    Mass.
    Posts
    6,605

    Default

    Cloudyandcallie, I don't agree with you very often (if at all), but you are dead-on right about this. Legalize it, require health testing of all workers, and take the money away from the abusive pimps and sickos who abuse women. Americans are way too up in everyone's business about sex being bad. Make it legal, make it safe!
    I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry


    19 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19

    Default

    I'm really sorry about this as I understand that this is a serious question, but...

    your SO's family runs a guided canoe tour business?
    Interesting.


    39 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,318

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mint Julep View Post
    I'm really sorry about this as I understand that this is a serious question, but...

    your SO's family runs a guided canoe tour business?
    Interesting.
    LOL!!!

    Hey OP, I'd say so long as BF isn't involved what so ever - and make sure- go for it. Look, the issue is if he has any sort of comingled finances or anything, when the family eventually gets busted, that sort of involvement would bring him down too. Or maybe not - Cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Tierney LOL.


    1 members found this post helpful.

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