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  1. #1
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    Nov. 24, 2010
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    1,105

    Default

    never mind
    Last edited by RPM; Jan. 9, 2014 at 10:39 PM.
    RoanPonyMare


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2006
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    1,921

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    Cautiously tell him how you feel. Explain if he isn't interested no hard feelings and you still would like to be friends. If you don't tell him/act on it it will only get worse!



  3. #3
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    Dec. 2, 2009
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    3,791

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    I'm not sure what you want to have happen, by your thread (I'm sorry...)...do you want to date him? Or not?


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
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    Dec. 14, 2007
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    243

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    Sounds to me like you have a major crush.

    In my experience, you either go for it or dial back on the friendship.
    Audaces fortuna iuvat.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5

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    Oh goodness....this sounds like my current situation. Tell you what I did: I told him. Not hinting, not avoiding, not hoping, not pushing. Just told him. Let me tell you, not easy. Felt like I was back in middleschool. But it helped BIG time. He knew how I felt, and I knew that he knew. So no need to hind or pretend or any of that foolishness. At best he will feel the same, at worse he will be flattered (all men are lol). My situaiton seems similar to yours, as neither one of us are ready for a relationaship, so at first avoided the situation. But I would not give up this friendship for anything and was not about to let my feeling make things weird.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 1999
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    CA
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    3,251

    Default

    Perhaps he feels the same way! Are you both single?


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2012
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    5,723

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    Ann Landers once said that crushes, lust and the like are a form of temporary insanity based on "One set of glands calling to another."

    If your HEAD realizes that a sexual relationship with this friend is not really what you want for various reasons, I would NOT "tell him how you feel" because it's pointless, will embarass you, and probably send him running for his life. Men never want to hear about women's "hormones," trust me.

    Instead, pull Manual Override on your chemicals since you are admirably self-aware enough to realize this IS neither heart nor head, but merely an absurd imbalance of estradiol talkin'. Don't make a fool of yourself, fly solo as needed, and be careful of putting yourself in situations where self-control is difficult.


    17 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Out for Lent
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    34,227

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    More Kayaking....
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2008
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    2,258

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    If you want to remain just friends then stop obsessing over your feelings and just be a friend to him. It isn't uncommon for one in a male/ female friendship to develop a crush on the other and it may be hormonal and you may get over it in a while. He may or may not pick up on what your feeling, but if you don't want anything more than a friendship why say anything at all to him about it??


    5 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
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    Feb. 24, 2011
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    599

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    Just have sex with him and get it out of your system. If he's single too (and you aren't ugly) then he probably won't turn down some trim.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
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    Aug. 4, 2011
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    1,668

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    RPM - uh guys are really easy creatures. You are overthinking this.

    Trust me when I say this, (unless he is gay) HE HAS ALREADY thought the same things you have and just say the word and he would be happy to, ahem, ablige your physical desires!!!!!!!


    11 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2001
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    Center of the Universe
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    7,616

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    If your HEAD realizes that a sexual relationship with this friend is not really what you want for various reasons, I would NOT "tell him how you feel" because it's pointless, will embarass you, and probably send him running for his life. Men never want to hear about women's "hormones," trust me.
    this. It's just your hormones running amuck- ignore them. The feeling will go away in a little bit. If you tell him, it will probably ruin your relationship; if you just wait, all will be fine.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
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    5,206

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    Way off the wall suggestion here but. . .
    Schedule a full day to go someplace public with him. Like the museum, the zoo, whatever plus lunch. Just spend a lot of time with him in a "non-romantic" situation.

    If it is just hormones or a schoolgirl type crush, you will figure it out very quickly once you start noticing those annoying things he does.
    If it there is something to build a relationship on, well you both will have time to discuss the next step.
    If nothing happens - it is always good to have a "buddy" of the opposite sex.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
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    Mar. 6, 2002
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    Oregon
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    6,042

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    Quote Originally Posted by wendy View Post
    this. It's just your hormones running amuck- ignore them. The feeling will go away in a little bit. If you tell him, it will probably ruin your relationship; if you just wait, all will be fine.
    THIS.


    I have had some odd and rather random crushes in my life, ones that made even myself go "WTF?" a time or two. Eventually they went away. If they don't go away eventually, maybe then it's time for a closer examination of yourself and whether or not you should tell him.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
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    Sep. 7, 2004
    Location
    Medford Oregon
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    936

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    More Kayaking....
    Better yet a self starting outboard motor and some alone time..


    18 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by darkmoonlady View Post
    Better yet a self starting outboard motor and some alone time..
    what ever propels your single passenger water vessel
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 1999
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    CA
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    3,251

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    Quote Originally Posted by RPM View Post
    We are both single.

    I don't think I really want to "date" him--I certainly don't want the sort of relationship that is just about formal, stressful "dates" that are so different from just going places together with a friend, which is what we do now. I love the friendship--we enjoy talking together, just doing stuff together without having to think of things to say every minute
    I don't know who you've been dating, but that's what dating the right person should be. Relaxed, fun, easy. If dating is stressful and full of trying to figure out what to say you're not with the right person.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Central Oklahoma
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noms View Post
    RPM - uh guys are really easy creatures. You are overthinking this.

    Trust me when I say this, (unless he is gay) HE HAS ALREADY thought the same things you have and just say the word and he would be happy to, ahem, ablige your physical desires!!!!!!!
    This^^^, and my husband will testify. lol. I say go for it. You already like him and he likes you. What more can anyone ask? I'm not convinced it's just lust. There is something deeper there. I think you are just scared.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by darkmoonlady View Post
    Better yet a self starting outboard motor and some alone time..
    what ever propels your single passenger water vessel
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2007
    Location
    Central VA
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    1,411

    Default

    IMO, if he's a guy, you're both single, he wants to be your friend and spends time with you, there's a 98% chance he wants to get in your pants. He's just too chicken to make the first move. Go for it-- you could always do the friends with benefits thing, you don't have to get married!


    3 members found this post helpful.

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