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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    15,082

    Default Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

    Make me a match!

    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Finally, somebody has made me grasp the appeal of online dating! It just had to be presented in horse terms. I can't wait to read the next installment.

    http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-1-wish-list


    6 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    524

    Default

    This was *hilarious*! Thank you so much for posting it!

    It made me ponder what my fiance's ad would have been like if he were an equine.

    He's the cranky, oldish (maybe late teens or 20), underweight gelding with a lot of "personality" that won't take crap from anybody... But has that one special person he's "bonded" with that he'll walk through fire for and lets do anything they want to him. And that person, for better or worse, is me.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 1, 2002
    Location
    Cow County, MD
    Posts
    7,087

    Default

    Completely awesome.

    My girlfriends and I use to discuss boyfriends in horse terms. Like, "I think you need an elevator with that one. He's dragging you to the long spot, so you need to get his head up and ride him down to the base, or he's going to leave long and crash." Translation: He's snowing you. Don't get attached, but get him in line or he'll break your heart.

    Or "He needs to be ridden from the leg. If you touch the reins, he'll flip his head." Meaning: He likes to think he's in charge, but he can be manipulated through subtle means, if you're willing to try it.

    And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
    Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2001
    Location
    12th floor of the Acme building in a city that knows how to keep it's secrets.
    Posts
    4,922

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sing Mia Song View Post
    And then, of course, "Man, I'd like to gallop that one down to a four foot oxer."
    Okay, I am so stealing this!
    *****
    You will not rise to the occasion, you will default to your level of training.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2005
    Location
    Northeast
    Posts
    10,799

    Default

    "Those were the days my friend".... In some ways I'm glad they ended.

    Now I can watch others and laugh.
    Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,952

    Default

    I read that earlier and thought it was so funny and well written.

    However, I am very glad I am married because my want ad for my horse was -

    He has to be tall (because I am tall) He does have to be a HE, can't be over priced and I don't care what breed or color just as long as he moves nice, is kind, brave and young!!!

    So it looks like the guy I married 20 some years ago fits my ad perfectly. I haven't even changed my requirements in all those years!!
    Train like you have never won and show like you have never lost!!!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 2009
    Posts
    730

    Default

    After a long series of high maintenance and testy 17+ hand palominos, I switched to a modest, laid back 15'3 hand bay paso fino. He doesn't have the showy mane or big floaty step, but he goes wherever I want, whenever I want, and, most of the time is an absolute delight. Of course, he is prone to a bit of laziness, but responds well to clear directions and the occasional firm kick.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    15,082

    Default

    Bump.

    The second installment of the online dating saga is up. Love the comparison to the 2/5 lameness.

    http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-2-buyer-beware



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 10, 2001
    Location
    West Coast of Canada
    Posts
    1,729

    Default

    What a great idea for a short column series! Been fun reading it!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    15,082

    Default

    Yes. My only quibble is that you know how it ends if you read the bio with the article. Spoiler alert!



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    951

    Default

    hahaha that is great!!
    Quote Originally Posted by rustbreeches View Post
    [George Morris] doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    15,082

    Default

    The third and (I'm sorry to say) final installment is up.

    http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/part-3-test-ride



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr. 9, 2012
    Location
    NYC=center of the universe
    Posts
    1,977

    Default

    Hmmm... I wanted... A ride who would be reliable and honest. Quirky and grumpy would be okay as long as he viewed me as his person, and would do his best to take care of me.

    I got a kick-along, very lazy city horse who learned to appreciate being around other horses. He's a tall, arthritic model who seems to have lost his flowing mane altogether. And, while he is cranky, he loves his person and her other animals very dearly. Sadly, when he is opposed to a particular bit of work, he just plants. No amount of treats or punishment will move this one.
    Born under a rock and owned by beasts!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2011
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    261

    Default

    *shuffles, blushes, ducks head* Aw, thanks guys. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And thanks, MHM, for the shout out.

    If you're in the mood for more, here's "why making horse sale videos doesn't qualify you to film a book trailer": http://jessehayworthbooks.blogspot.c...hat-wasnt.html
    Horsey romances written by a horsey person
    www.JesseHayworth.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15

    Default

    LOVED IT!! I have tried the online dating scene. And have definitely run into a few of the mentioned issues! I will most definitely be sharing these with my horse friends



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