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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,936

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    Firstly, don't do yourself down so much! You say you lack experience?! How can you possibly lack experience with all the shows you've groomed at for this barn? Even if it's not paid, it is still experience, and it counts! I got my first camp counselor job (yes, paid job!) at 16 1/2 with no paid work experience unless you count babysitting. Secondly, your summers are not lost if you let this barn go. There are plenty of ways to involve horses in your summers without showing - work at a horseback riding camp (day or overnight), dude ranch, trail riding place, etc etc - and these PAY. Maybe not a lot, but more than what you are earning now. Thirdly, ask!!! If you don't ask you'll never know. If you don't get the answer you are looking for, decide how important this barn is to you and reassess. Maybe you'll be better off at a non show barn when you're home from school, or maybe you'll want to take your horse with you somewhere else for summers - such as to one of the aforementioned camps. I worked at one that allowed me to bring my horse for free, including paid vet and farrier bills, as long as she was used in the lead line program. Good luck. Now is the right time for you to be learning self confidence, because trust me, it only gets harder as you get older.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Feb. 2, 2003
    Location
    Iowa, USA
    Posts
    2,957

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    OP just yesterday I had my hair done yesterday and you would have laughed at me because there was this thing she was doing with the highlights the last few color jobs that I didn't like. (I promise this ends up being related to your plight... ) Anyway, the way I was parting it ended up causing a highlighted piece to fall evenly on both sides of the part, like a stripe down both sides of my head. It wasn't crazy obvious but looked really unnatural to me. So here I am, "Ms. JUST SAY IT!" and even I had a moment of discomfort about telling her I didn't like it. And I almost didn't say anything! That inner voice said "forget about it, it was probably just a one-time thing. You just parted your hair wrong." So even us brave-sounding people have those times where for whatever reason it's hard to speak up. And with me it was just a freaking hairdresser! :lol But I did say something and lo and behold, the highlights are much more natural looking this time.
    Try to break down crushing defeats into smaller, more manageable failures. It’s also helpful every now and then to stop, take stock of your situation, and really beat yourself up about it.The Onion


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    12,879

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    Quote Originally Posted by Event4Life View Post
    Firstly, don't do yourself down so much! You say you lack experience?! How can you possibly lack experience with all the shows you've groomed at for this barn? Even if it's not paid, it is still experience, and it counts! I got my first camp counselor job (yes, paid job!) at 16 1/2 with no paid work experience unless you count babysitting. Secondly, your summers are not lost if you let this barn go. There are plenty of ways to involve horses in your summers without showing - work at a horseback riding camp (day or overnight), dude ranch, trail riding place, etc etc - and these PAY. Maybe not a lot, but more than what you are earning now. Thirdly, ask!!! If you don't ask you'll never know. If you don't get the answer you are looking for, decide how important this barn is to you and reassess. Maybe you'll be better off at a non show barn when you're home from school, or maybe you'll want to take your horse with you somewhere else for summers - such as to one of the aforementioned camps. I worked at one that allowed me to bring my horse for free, including paid vet and farrier bills, as long as she was used in the lead line program. Good luck. Now is the right time for you to be learning self confidence, because trust me, it only gets harder as you get older.
    Excellent post! I totally agree, Give yourself credit, you have experience, and those folks you have been slaving for free of charge have liked and maybe expected to have you. Do not sell yourself short!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." Caffeinated.



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2008
    Location
    Central Oklahoma
    Posts
    3,470

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    Quote Originally Posted by alteralterpantsonfire View Post
    I showed a horse owned by one of the clients. I got five minutes of coaching before the class - basically "okay pick him up, good, slower hand, yes, to canter poke him with your outside spur then use both calves, now go show." I groomed him, tacked him, and untacked him myself. The horse was showing there anyways with an amateur. She paid office fees, trainer fees, and all other fees. I do not ride this horse at home.
    In most show situations, the fees with exception of class fees are divided between individuals showing the said horse. So, if the total trailering/stabling/set up/office fee/drug fee/etc is say, $300, you and the client each should pay $150 for this portion. On top of that, you are expected to pay the client to use the horse. So find out what the arrangement between trainer and the client exactly is. Be 100% that she agrees to let you use the horse for free and pick up the whole bill instead of only portion of it. Be 100% sure that the trainer did not cut her a slack on behave of you.

    Now calculate how much your service is. I don't know how much the going rate is, but you need to tally all of them. You need to include braid/muck out/staying over night/boots polishing. All of them, and figure out how much you earned.

    Now figure out the difference between what you are liable and what you earn. With that in hand, go to talk to your trainer. Show her how much you are worth and demand that you get something of equal value in return. Maybe this way you can be more sure of the value of your service.

    Since you have done this for a while, maybe your trainer thought you do it simply because you love it. If you don't want to stand up for yourself, nobody will. Trust me, unless the trainer is a complete nutcase, in which case you should not work for her anymore, he/she will understand.



  5. #45
    Join Date
    Aug. 6, 2002
    Location
    NJ, USA
    Posts
    2,357

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    Quote Originally Posted by alteralterpantsonfire View Post
    My self-respect is not only in the trash - it's been taken out to the dump and covered in rotten banana peels and dirty diapers.
    Well then, as part of the supportive community you belong to here, I think we can help you with that! First, you're feeling a bit depressed about this right now, so things seem worse than they really are. Now comes the pep talk: you are clearly a responsible, dependable, caring, intelligent young woman that anyone would be glad to have as a friend, as an employee, and I'm sure as a daughter - I'm sure I'm not the only mid 40's childless woman that, if I could have had a guarantee my kid would have turned out to be something like you, might have changed my mind about not having kids! :-) You're pulling off good enough grades to be looking at college, after school debate club, helping at the barn, and riding. You deserve some respect girl, so here is some flying your way - take it and pull it inside & know you earned it! Don't fret about being taken advantage of in the past, you're addressing the situation now, gathering as much information as you can about what to do about it. That is a respectable adult way of handling a problem you have become aware of! Next step is to decide the best action, then commit to taking that action. That's the part that takes guts, so you don't lose any self respect points for worrying about it either. So, now you have been cyber lifted out of the dump, you don't belong there! Take heart, you're clearly a good person and I'm confident you'll work your way out of this snaffu.



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Nov. 7, 2002
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    5,638

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    1. How are you treated better? (Itemize for yourself.)

    2. Asking for compensation for work you do is NOT asking for a favor. It's changing YOUR favor into an explicit exchange.

    3. Why aren't you showing your own horse?

    4. If I misunderstood and you don't have a horse to worry about, don't go home. Go work at a summer camp in the lovely shaded woods (maybe annoying kids, but you're the horse advocate!), or take one of those cool working student jobs I see offered all OVER the world. Get a chance to meet new and different horse people!

    5. I'm liking the "I can't miss more school without pay" line. I'll try that next time.
    ... Yeah, that's a pretty easy one ... there's also (my own TRUE one) "I can't stand to be away from my horse for two days of perfectly good riding."

    Your posts really do sound ambivalent ... like you think you ought to ask to get paid, but you kinda don't want to, but you'd like the respect that you suspect you deserve, but don't want to compromise what you think is a "like" situation.

    At *least* charge for braiding, tho!
    *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2004
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    2,988

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    Why don't you go into business as a braider and then branch out into grooming again? That way, you're doing something different than what you're doing now, and you're starting your own business using what this barn has taught you. That's exciting for everyone.

    The problem I'm having is that something isn't quite adding up here. You don't get to ride for just class fees just because the horse is "already there", which you've mentioned twice. The owner put a heck of a lot of money into getting that horse there. There has to be something else going on here compensation-wise that I'm not getting....
    send some of their smart literate deer who can read road signs up here since ours are just run of the mill dumb ones who get splatted all over creation because they won't stay in the woods


    2 members found this post helpful.

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