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  1. #61
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Central Oklahoma
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    It's easy to say no. However, if the person asking is your dear friend, your relative, or anyone you wish to remain friendly with, maybe it's better to consider a more diplomatic answer.



  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2006
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    8,513

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    It's easy to say no. However, if the person asking is your dear friend, your relative, or anyone you wish to remain friendly with, maybe it's better to consider a more diplomatic answer.
    I fail to see what is un-diplomatic about 'No.'

    Do people have friends or family members who feel entitled to everything they've got going on in their lives?
    Would they sulk and pout if you told them, "No, I don't want to lend you my earrings to wear?"

    They can grow up and be adults.
    Or go spend $30 at a livery place.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2011
    Location
    Englandshire
    Posts
    435

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    I won't let my DH on my personal horse. He took heck no! well enough There are other horses he can ride but mine isn't one of them, much as I love him.

    We do have other horses that I wouldn't be so precious about, but it would depend how I was asked, quite honestly. Automatic no to some people, other's I would be happy to accommodate, on my terms.



  4. #64
    Join Date
    Jul. 22, 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    809

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    I usually get asked by small children and their parents, so I say no to them. If I had little kid helmets, sure, I'd take them for a spin around the pasture. (I'm right on the road, and Tiger Lily is a treat hound, lol, so people get to let her quite often if they walk up to the fence.) but, since I don't have small helmets, I will tell them to go up the road to the barn, and ask about lessons. Or, I'll find a small pony there, and give them a pony ride. (I used to ride there for many years.)

    I have given my friends rides, and most of the guys have gotten on 1 or 2 times, and that ends their curiosity, lol.
    "On the back of a horse I felt whole, complete, connected to that vital place in the center of me...and the chaos within me found balance."



  5. #65
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,888

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giddy-up View Post
    I think insurance is a pretty valid reason. ....

    Speaking of insurance...how many people that do let others hop on to ride ask if that person has health insurance? Just curious cause that is something I don't chat about with people (hi, how's it going, nice weather, see that ball game, you got health insurance?) so who knows who has insurance or not.
    Absolutely it's a valid reason.... if you have the insurance in the first place. Otherwise, it's an unnecessary lie. I didn't see folks making a distinction between those how did have policies that forbid this (and knew that) and those who did not. Rather, it was presented as a "clear and not by fault" reason to add to the HO's preference about who rides his/her horse.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  6. #66
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2008
    Location
    Central Oklahoma
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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    I fail to see what is un-diplomatic about 'No.'

    Do people have friends or family members who feel entitled to everything they've got going on in their lives?
    Would they sulk and pout if you told them, "No, I don't want to lend you my earrings to wear?"

    They can grow up and be adults.
    Or go spend $30 at a livery place.
    If you can't see how undiplomatic a straight, "no" can be, I can't explain it to you; and this is from some one who has no problem saying no to anyone's face. Most people asking are just clueless. They aren't trying to be mean or rude. They are clueless. I'm not advocating to allow anyone to ride your horses. I don't let anyone other than my trainers to ride any of my horses. But I don't see a reason not to find a way to achieve your goal, or saying no" in a friendly manner. You can demand them to grown up, or you can learn to be a mature person and learn to deal with unpleasant situation in a pleasant way.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2008
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    1,931

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    See, the thing is, I do let other people ride my pony. He's a great "pony ride" pony and I love to be able to share him. This dude is just too big and doesn't take instruction well!! I have gone the "pony is not beginner friendly and you are too tall for him" route, and have suggested we go to a trail ride place nearby. SO MANY CREATIVE ANSWERS though!! Y'all are hilarious.
    Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

    PONY'TUDE


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2008
    Location
    Central Oklahoma
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    3,047

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    Quote Originally Posted by caradino View Post
    See, the thing is, I do let other people ride my pony. He's a great "pony ride" pony and I love to be able to share him. This dude is just too big and doesn't take instruction well!! I have gone the "pony is not beginner friendly and you are too tall for him" route, and have suggested we go to a trail ride place nearby. SO MANY CREATIVE ANSWERS though!! Y'all are hilarious.
    See, these are great ways to say no without blowing up on a friend's face.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2005
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    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get
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    9,117

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    Quote Originally Posted by FineAlready View Post
    For the person asking if those of us unwilling to let beginners/strangers get on our horses don't own a lunge line: what? Why would I want to lunge my horse so that a beginner can ride him? And, FWIW, that would NOT be safe with my horse. It would probably be safer to just turn them loose!
    Um...that would have been me & I think you read into my post.

    I never said I actually longe the horse as I would if I were using the longe for exercise. Nor did I mean to say Longe To The Death so horse is tired out before Newb gets on.

    I just used the line as a lead, letting the Newbies out a little at a time until they were on the 10m circle the line allows IF they appeared steady enough to warrant the extra length & distance from me.

    If Newb exhibited a relatively secure seat they got the full 10m, Tremblers got me walking at the horse's head. Period.
    Those who dealt well at the walk, got trot. If trot didn't shake their teeth loose they got canter.

    My fondest memory is a friend whose BF owned Morgans he never rode and who wanted to learn to ride too.
    She was told by the B-words at BF's barn that she needed a "Western Horse" to learn on.
    WTFruitbat

    She had such a nice seat I ended up with her cantering bareback on my very UN-Western TB and told her to make sure she told those B's what she had done!

    I miss my TB.
    He had plenty fire & 'tude for me, but was the kindest horse EVER to Ground Zero riders.
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009
    Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2009
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    4,473

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2DogsFarm View Post
    Um...that would have been me & I think you read into my post.

    I never said I actually longe the horse as I would if I were using the longe for exercise. Nor did I mean to say Longe To The Death so horse is tired out before Newb gets on.

    I just used the line as a lead, letting the Newbies out a little at a time until they were on the 10m circle the line allows IF they appeared steady enough to warrant the extra length & distance from me.

    If Newb exhibited a relatively secure seat they got the full 10m, Tremblers got me walking at the horse's head. Period.
    Those who dealt well at the walk, got trot. If trot didn't shake their teeth loose they got canter.

    My fondest memory is a friend whose BF owned Morgans he never rode and who wanted to learn to ride too.
    She was told by the B-words at BF's barn that she needed a "Western Horse" to learn on.
    WTFruitbat

    She had such a nice seat I ended up with her cantering bareback on my very UN-Western TB and told her to make sure she told those B's what she had done!

    I miss my TB.
    He had plenty fire & 'tude for me, but was the kindest horse EVER to Ground Zero riders.
    Fair enough, but my horse would also be SUPER unsafe to ride while being lunged. He can't even cope with having someone stand near his head while someone mounts (I think it is track related - he has always been this way). This makes him rear.



  11. #71
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    Mar. 26, 2005
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    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineAlready View Post
    Fair enough, but my horse would also be SUPER unsafe to ride while being lunged. He can't even cope with having someone stand near his head while someone mounts (I think it is track related - he has always been this way). This makes him rear.
    My TB was OTTB too - but he was a Big-L Loser.
    He did the 2yo training, but never earned the JC tattoo.
    Spent his formative years as a pony horse.
    I have a pic of him ponying at the Arlington Million - ears pinned, hating that job.
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009
    Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    Kentucky
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    4,122

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    2dogs, I think it is really, really nice of you to let other people ride your horses. It is just not something I am willing to do with mine. I know I sound really selfish (and I am, a bit) but I do let a very good local trainer with no lesson horses of her own use my arabian, free of charge. He likes kids and seems to enjoy the work. However, I still do not say yes when random people ask to ride him. They are welcome to take a lesson (if they are small enough) but just ride him? Nope.



  13. #73
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2005
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    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get
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    ddashaq:
    I ain't all that nice

    Only the TB - Vern - was my Ponyride horse.
    And only under my supervision - not just people getting on when I wasn't around unless they were shareboarders.
    My TWH - Cash in my sig -was too tense, my current WB is waaaay too reactive and my Hackney Pony....well, let's just say not anyone I like should get on him, 'specially as he is broke to drive, not ride.

    Even when I had shareboarders for Vern I required they lesson with my trainer at least once a month - weekly if they were Newbs.
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009
    Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #74
    Join Date
    Jan. 3, 2009
    Location
    On the buckle
    Posts
    957

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    I try to head them off before they can ask, if I can tell it's coming, by suggesting a place to take lessons, thereby implying that I will not offer my horse. If you let them ride once, as I have done, longe line and all, then you get repeat requests and sometimes hurt feelings. Better to say no at the outset.
    Mon Ogon (Mojo), black/bay 16 H TB Gelding



  15. #75
    Join Date
    Mar. 31, 2013
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    17

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    This is something that really irks me. The amount of friends that I have that ask "so when can I come and ride your horses" astounds me... Or guys deciding that a great first date would be to go horse riding together. Where will these horses be found? Oh, mine, of course!

    Sorry, nobody gets on my horses unless I know how they ride.

    I usually just explain that I have one who is old and retired, one who is unbroken, and one who is in strict training. Seems to work well enough - though there are some very persistant people "so when are we going riding?" - "When you find a horse to ride" "...Oh"

    I think the main problem is that people who have ridden a few horses at trail riding places think ALL horses are like that. Unfortunately for just about everyone, that is not the case. I hate to think what would happen if someone got on my young one with the mindset of "kick to go, pull to turn/stop". Not only would it be counterproductive to the past 3 years of training she's had, but she can also be quite sensitive and I think of someone thumped down on her back or got a death-grip on her mouth, she'd take serious offense and jack up or have them off.

    Even the old fella... If anyone got on him and kicked him, they'd find themselves on the ground behind him before they could blink. He's Mr Electric, even at the ripe old age of 25.

    If I had a horse I thought would be suitable for an inexperienced rider, I probably wouldn't hesitate to let people on them... But as it stands, I wouldn't class any of my horses "beginner safe".

    I did lead my mother around on the young one a while ago - she's still very much a beginner, I just led her, and we stayed at walk, though after she got off she did admit that she was quite scared because of the power she could feel... Not at all what she was used to from the quiet school horses she'd learned to ride on.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #76
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,216

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    We have one really good soul, who, if someone wanted to come ride, with supervision, would be suitable and fun (has been, so far). I have another pretty good citizen, who is generally reliable on trails (but spooks) and is just wonderful to ride. I don't generally let too many people ride him as he has such a lovely, soft mouth and has been so responsive but he is very patient, and takes good care of his rider! These two are "grandkid options" (with leadlines). My two others, no. One does let a buck fly (my husband likes him,I think partly because he is the horse that dumped me!!) and my heart horse is just too sensitive. He's pretty good with a lead line though. My horses are not to be loaned out, ever,and not ridden without me, but I enjoy taking people out and seeing them have fun. I am also very senstive to weight issues on my guys - even my big 17H'er only carries a 200lb rider (not including tack). There are some people I would never let ride my guys. Just no. Because I don't want to

    And speaking of old guys with spunk, my connemara, at twentysomething, had no trouble dumping a friend of my mom's, just a nice easy lope and then a nice easy little buck - you could never take him for granted!



  17. #77
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2004
    Location
    Piedmont Triad, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,160

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    A different take... If it weren't for friends that let 200# novice me ride their 14.5 pony 25 years ago, I wouldn't have horses. So to repay the karmic debt, I let almost anybody ride my horse. He & I have a good understanding of beginners. No high speed antics but a lot of patience. He wasn't always like this, He's dumped me once & scared me lots, years ago. Last year he was in a commercial. Took about a dozen takes. Same walk up, stop & rider gets off. He was fantastic with a beginner rider. Made him look like a competent rider by the last take. There are 1/2 dozen little girls that he's taught enough for them to be called rider instead of passenger too. Beginner Suitable horse is the operative term.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #78
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2012
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    626

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    I have two horses. One is a rescue and the other is green as grass. I just tell people, in a soft, gentle tone of voice, that my horses are not safe to ride for beginners as of yet, but they are welcome to come over and pet the horses.Then I tell them that if they want to take lessons, I know of a very good riding instructor nearby. I think the key is the non-verbals and tone of voice. If they go the whole "I'm not a beginner" route, then I just tell them "No." If they truly are horsepeople, they they will totally understand when I turn down their requests to ride my boys.
    Last edited by californianinkansas; Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:21 AM. Reason: allergy meds



  19. #79
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2006
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Posts
    1,760

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    A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law told me that a friend of hers and the friend's husband wanted to go riding. I know the friend, and I cannot stand her. I told her my barn does trail rides on the farm and gave her the barn's info, to which she responded that they were actually hoping to ride my horse so they didn't have to pay for it. Wtf? Really?


    4 members found this post helpful.

  20. #80
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2002
    Location
    Minnesota, U S of A
    Posts
    126

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    I don't know how many people over the years have had their first ride on my 29 year old retired eventer-foxhunter, Dash, who I've had for 24 years. In the indoor arena, he is very safe, and knows that rookies mean brushing, very little work, and carrots (e.i. attention.) In lessons we are working on canter pirouettes and such.

    Last fall my niece and her four year old were visiting, and Josie (my great niece) got lead around on Dash for 15 minutes, then lead Dash around for 30 minutes, mostly at a trot (I had another lead rope on the far side to make sure Josie didn't get stepped on.) Dash is the only horse I know who can roll his eyes.

    We have found that about 80% of people who ask to come out and see the horses never get around to it.


    4 members found this post helpful.

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