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  1. #21
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    Apr. 28, 2004
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    Saratoga Springs, NY
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    For the first few years (k-2nd) the bus driver waited till he saw an adult (in a car, at the door, whatever) to let my son off the bus. Now (3rd grade) my son is allowed off the bus and across the street to our driveway as long as it looks like someone's home (car in the drive). As for him getting to the end of the driveway by himself, if I'm leaving at the same time, I'll drive him to the end of the drive (no other kids around us, so no one to stand with) but if I'm going to be home for a bit longer, you can be darn sure he's hiking his butt to the bus stop all by himself!
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  2. #22
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    Apr. 28, 2008
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    Our driveway is very long so I can imagine I would be reluctant to let an early elementary kid wait alone. I can't see the end of the driveway from the house, and our road is busy with no sidewalks. It's pitch black in the mornings when the bus comes. I'm neurotic enough to worry about a little kid in those circumstances.

    But instead I'll be one of those driving moms -- our local elementary/middle school is weak so our kids will be attending a much better private school that's a solid 20 minute drive each way. I guess I am more helicopter-parent than I knew! But I don't think it's insane or over the top to play chauffeur if it means your kid can attend a quality school.

    It also depends on the bus schedule. When I was a kid my dad would drive us the 1/4 mile to the end of our driveway when it was below 20 degrees, as our bus driver would show up at some point within a 20 minute range of time. Standing in the dark, in the snow for half an hour, in teens weather, with just a jacket, hat and gloves was more than even my no-nonsense father thought was necessary for the building of his children's character.


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  3. #23
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    Jul. 24, 2008
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    Wimberley, TX
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    150

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    Quote Originally Posted by carolprudm View Post
    In some places it is illegal for the school bus driver to drop young children of if there is no one waiting for them. We had 2 elementary/Middle school girls murdered by someone who snatched the girls after they got off the bus. Also on roads where there are no sidewalks it's not safe or young children to be walking along the side of the road

    ETA: I do agree with the annoyance of seeing parents wait until the bus stops to have the children unbuckle their seatbelt and start to disembark while mom (usually) hugs child, hands child lunch and generally carries on as if she is sending the child of to war.
    This is true in our county. Someone the child knows must be at the bus stop or the bus driver is not allowed to drop the child off...they are returned to the school. I've been asked more than once to pick up a kid at the bus stop for a parent that was running late.

    Very different from when I was a kid living on the farm. We had to hike 1/4 mile up to the next driveway to be picked up. And that included the winter time (in Illinois) where wind chills/temps were often below zero.



  4. #24
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    Nov. 13, 2010
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    When I was little (k-3ish) the bus driver wouldn't let me get off the bus unless a parent was in the driveway. But in the morning I would stand on the porch until I could see the bus and then run out when the bus stopped. upper elementary/Middle school/high school obviously I was left to my own accord.

    I too have to deal with mommy and daddy driving junior to the end of the driveway (think suburban home, 200 ft drive) and wait while someone walks junior onto the bus. I think my mother did that the first few days of kindergarden.



  5. #25
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    Nov. 24, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliCat View Post
    Children are now considered to be very fragile precious commodities.
    Mine's not fragile- but she's absolutely the most precious commodity I have. I'm not ashamed of it.
    Kerri


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  6. #26
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    NorthEast
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    In my town the bus will not drop off children 5th grade and younger unless an adult is waiting there. It's the school system's rule.

    And usually in grade school aged kids the parents do indeed walk or drive the kids to the end of the driveway and wait for the bus with them. Why? Because the roads here average only 18-20' wide, no curb, no fog/side lines and the edges of the road either have trees right up to the pavement (in some spots the roots shove the pavement up) or ledge right to the edge or rain ditches. The roads also twist a lot and everywhere here is heavily wooded. Visibility is very very short.
    2 full size pickups traveling in opposite directions have to slow down and drive the edge when passing or they smack side mirrors. I've given up replacing my driver's side mirror.
    So here...your child has a pretty decent chance of getting hit by a car at the end of the driveway. Considering everyone here replaces their mailboxes all the time from getting run over due to the narrow roads, it's a smart idea for some areas.
    We also don't have bus stops, bus stops at every driveway. Walking on the sides of our streets is suicidal.
    (the reason this area is not happy when we get bombarded by the road cyclists in the warm months)
    But as soon as the kids hit middle school, they're old enough to know to watch cars and walk to the end of the driveway solo.
    Younger than that...we definitely keep an eye on them. A few folks have been hit getting their mail. Not taking that chance with the little children. It's kind of cute here that a bunch of houses have little buildings at the ends of their driveways, they look like phone booths or open outhouses. But they're there for the kids to stand in when it's raining while they wait for the bus.
    If the kids take the late buses home from after school activities...there's often a parent waiting for them in the car in winter. Mainly because we have l-o-n-g driveways and no streetlights, after the sun goes down in winter you can't see your hand in front of your face outside.
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  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2008
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    Western NY
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    I went to school in a more rural district and remember that a lot of the kids who had houses set far back from the road had little outhouse-like shacks built at the end of their driveways, where they would sit and wait for the bus.

    I grew up in a trailer park, which had one bus pick-up point at the front of the park, and since I lived at the extreme far end of the park from it, meant a half mile walk every morning in the dark. I occasionally begged a ride from my mother if it was subzero or pouring rain, but for the most part, you just carried a bottle of mace, bundled up, and kept an umbrella in your backpack. Eventually the park built us an actual small shelter, but it was immediately appropriated by all the potheads, so that was pretty much pointless.
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  8. #28
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    Jan. 22, 2003
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    Home of "The Office", PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    What if you are a single parent and have a very young child that you need to wait with but you need to get to work on time also? I can see reasons why people would drive their car and wait. Your car warms up, kid gets safely on bus and you head out immediately.
    That scenario I can see too...leaving right from the bus stop make sense.

    I think what the OP is referring to is Parent and Kid hops into the car, drives .2 seconds to the end of the driveway. Kid gets out and Parent backs right back up to the house.
    The only thing the government needs to solve all of its problems is a Council of Common Sense.


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  9. #29
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    Sep. 11, 2008
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    Snohomish, WA
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    When my daughter was little, I did drive her out to the driveway. She was 5 and 6 and we had a very long driveway plus out to the main street. I had to be there to pick her up as well - the bus driver once let her off before I got there and the neighbor girl found her. (I was not a happy mother).
    When we moved, it was closer so we walked out to the bus. Other kids meet at the same spot now. So we have both - there are some driveways the bus stops at and there are a couple of stopping spots to pick up several children.
    For me it depends on the age of the child. Older ones can certainly walk but the younger ones??? Not so much.



  10. #30
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    Dec. 2, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by SarahandSam View Post
    I went to school in a more rural district and remember that a lot of the kids who had houses set far back from the road had little outhouse-like shacks built at the end of their driveways, where they would sit and wait for the bus.
    Rural southern Indiana I saw this idea ..... placed an old station wagon up by the highway, took the wheels off, set it up on blocks, so the kids could climb in and start the engine, run the heat and listen to tunes while waiting
    The truth is what you can get other people to believe.

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    6 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
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    Feb. 23, 2005
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    Spotsylvania, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by charismaryllis View Post
    don't get me started. on my commute in the morning i have to time it to miss the school bus that stops, in the right lane of a 6 lane divided highway, to pick up a child at the end of his driveway. bus then proceeds approximately 2 more bus lengths, and turns right onto a side street. *why* the child canNOT wait for the bus there is absolutely beyond me. so three lanes of traffic (45 mph speed limit) comes to a screeching halt every morning. (even if the child is special needs and his mother doesn't want to let him out of her sight--they can't walk up to the corner? really?)

    as someone who lived at the top of a dead end street and started walking over 500 feet down to the road to get the bus starting at age FIVE, i am at a loss here.

    Is there a sidewalk or would mother and child have to walk in the road?
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  12. #32
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    Mar. 19, 2004
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    Earlysville, VA
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    I think a lot of it depends on where you live and the times.

    When I was a kid, I walked a mile up the farm driveway and stood out on the main road for the bus. Granted there were not many people around, but I don't think my parents gave it any thought.

    When my kids were growing up, we lived in a subdivision and there were several designated stops and all the kids walked up to them (mine included), but they were not out on the main road.
    \"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.\" Anne of Green Gables



  13. #33
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    Mar. 1, 2003
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    Happily in Canada
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    On the news this morning was a mother who'd allowed her two sons to play in the park by themselves. Someone called the police.

    They were interviewing the mother - she said our culture has become too helicopter-parentish, and she was trying to re-create a culture where kids could go out and play with each other without all the constraints of having parents constantly involved/around. She thinks if more people would allow this, the culture could take a bit of a reversal.
    Blugal

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  14. #34
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    Nov. 1, 2005
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    The Prairie
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    Lots of reasons.

    1) Parents and kids sitting together in the car waiting for the bus, parent takes off for work as soon as bus gets there. I see that on a daily basis. That is going to be me in about a year when my son ages out of his daycare. Either that or I am just going to drive him to school so that I can get going.
    2) It is very cold (where I live, winters are usually in the -20 Celsius range) Even the little bus shelters are not warm enough and if the bus is late you will literally freeze as you stand there waiting
    3) Safety reason:

    -rural driveways are often treed with poor visibility
    -people are asshats and are prepared to take risks when they are late
    -high snowbanks, snow storms, fog etc also limit visibility, especially in the a.m. when it is dark.
    I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.


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  15. #35
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    Apr. 15, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolprudm View Post
    Is there a sidewalk or would mother and child have to walk in the road?

    nice big sidewalk. nice big sidewalk on the side street too.... it's just one of those Unknowable Things, i guess.
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  16. #36
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    Feb. 14, 2012
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    Fern Creek, KY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mara View Post

    The city tried to designate my driveway as a bus stop about 3 years ago. Uh-uh, no way in hell was that going to happen. We do not HAVE children and do not want to have to navigate through a gaggle of kids and heli-parents every morning when we leave for work. The folks in charge clearly thought I was an asshole for demanding they move the stop, but I didn't care.
    The local bus stop is literally RIGHT in front of our house. The bus starts picking kids up at 0600 and goes until 0800, then starts dropping them off again around 3 until around 5 (right before they play retreat). We live on a military post, and all I can say is GO YOU! for not letting them put the bus stop in your drive way. It is the BIGGEST PITA I have ever delt with. The kids are always loud, throwing trash in our yard, driving the dogs nuts, waking the baby up, and just being plain rude. There are usually 3-4 parents with each group (except the high schoolers) and they are totally oblivious to the fact that somebody actually might LIVE in the house. We've gotten complaints about our dogs barking at the kids through the window.

    I don't think that I'm a mean or overly demanding person, but why can't the bus stop be at the neighborhood park?! Our neighbors and I are trying to work with the school to get it changed, but with no luck.

    I don't think that you're being unreasonable or an asshole at all!
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  17. #37
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    Jun. 7, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blugal View Post
    On the news this morning was a mother who'd allowed her two sons to play in the park by themselves. Someone called the police.
    A very large part of why I refuse to have children is that I would likely be cited for child abuse for raising kids how I was raised. I am not talking about hitting, since I believe in communication skills, I am talking about things exactly like this mother did.

    The next reason is "other parents." If everyone else is doing their kids' homework for them and waiting for their kids at the end of the driveway and unable to teach their children basic table manners or not expecting their children to do their own laundry or even dress appropriately, it will be exponentially more of a PITA to raise my kids when they see everyone else getting away with murder, or find them suitable friends. I wouldn't want my kids hanging out with other kids who don't know how to do their own homework, make pleasant conversation with adults, sit at a table or set one. Sorry.


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  18. #38
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    Dec. 1, 2007
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    Gettysburg, PA
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    Many of the scenarios I totally get, especially with elementary age kids. 1 friend has a house that sits way back-can't even see top of driveway. She drives 5 yr old and waits and then leaves directly for work.

    2 scenarios I see all the time baffle me. HS kids - bus picks up/drops off on my street at the top of a dead end cul-de-sac. Furthest house back is maybe at most equivalent to 3 blocks. Beautiful sunny days, parents still there waiting in cars driving kids to and from. Aren't we sedentary enough - can't teens walk 1-3 blocks.

    Another is an older child dropped where parent must work at restaraunt with 2 parking entrances (bldg in middle of 2). Bus drops off child at 1st driveway which is actually further from the bldg door then drops another child at house next to 2nd entrance. Distance between the 2 driveways is about 10 ft - can't figure out why both aren't dropped off together.
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  19. #39
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    Feb. 13, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blugal View Post
    On the news this morning was a mother who'd allowed her two sons to play in the park by themselves. Someone called the police.

    They were interviewing the mother - she said our culture has become too helicopter-parentish, and she was trying to re-create a culture where kids could go out and play with each other without all the constraints of having parents constantly involved/around. She thinks if more people would allow this, the culture could take a bit of a reversal.
    ^^^This^^^

    I used to wait with my kid at the bus stop. I only realized that folks weren't doing this of their own accord when a friend of mine asked if I'd keep an eye on her kids, as she had gotten a new job and had to leave for work.

    No biggie, right? As I walked past her house, her kids would come out and walk down with me, and she'd head out to work, kids got safely on the bus, fine.

    Not fine. The school reported her to CPS for neglect. Commence guilty-until-proven-inoocent nightmare. The bus driver never said a word to me, or I'd have mentioned our arrangement. Their justification? Kids had to cross the street to get to the bus.
    Apparently, only each, individual, custodial parent can see that this get's done safely. 'Cause clearly I'm going to make sure MY kid crosses safely, and then toss the other little rugrats into oncoming traffic. Sigh.
    Ok, there's not even a bad joke to be made, the situation is so ridiculous. And scary.

    In many places, if you don't helicopter parent, you can lose your kids. And there are school districts who will actually threaten parents with that if parents don't comply with whatever the school wants.


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  20. #40
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    Apr. 28, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blugal View Post
    On the news this morning was a mother who'd allowed her two sons to play in the park by themselves. Someone called the police.

    They were interviewing the mother - she said our culture has become too helicopter-parentish, and she was trying to re-create a culture where kids could go out and play with each other without all the constraints of having parents constantly involved/around. She thinks if more people would allow this, the culture could take a bit of a reversal.
    How old were the kids? That makes all the difference in whether this mother was CPS-worthy or justified. I mean, a 3 and 5 year old is a lot different than a 9 and 11 year old.


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