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  1. #221

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacardi1 View Post
    Are you really that much of an idiot?? How sad for you.

    "Johnny" needs to have a "mom" who has all his ducks in a row EVERY DAY (oh, the humanity!). He's been awakened at an appropiate time, has bathed, has had some sort of breakfast, & is ready to meet the bus when it arrives.

    Wow. Rocket science.

    I may be an "idiot" but atleast I'm not getting mad at strangers for not being in sync with my own schedule and beliefs about how things should go. I totally agree with some of the situations posters have mentioned seem a little extreme or inefficient. However, I also see a lot of people that really just need to slow down with life. Everyone is in a rush to get somewhere and they get mad if anyone slows them down. I cannot believe we are up to 11 pages of people ranting about such a trivial topic that cannot be blamed on any one person or institution.

    Anyway, I feel your comment was completely unnecessary and hurtful. Aren't we all supposed to be adults here? Adults should be capable of civil discussion that does not include name calling.


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  2. #222
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    Quote Originally Posted by alternate_universe View Post
    I may be an "idiot" but atleast I'm not getting mad at strangers for not being in sync with my own schedule and beliefs about how things should go. I totally agree with some of the situations posters have mentioned seem a little extreme or inefficient. However, I also see a lot of people that really just need to slow down with life. Everyone is in a rush to get somewhere and they get mad if anyone slows them down. I cannot believe we are up to 11 pages of people ranting about such a trivial topic that cannot be blamed on any one person or institution.

    Anyway, I feel your comment was completely unnecessary and hurtful. Aren't we all supposed to be adults here? Adults should be capable of civil discussion that does not include name calling.
    Gee - sorry if your "schedule" doesn't allow for your spawn to be woken up, bathed, fed, & ready for the bus on time. That doesn't mean the rest of us have to be happy about it. Or happy about the fact that because you're not organized, the rest of us have to put our lives on "hold". So very, very sorry to have hurt your wittle feelings.


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  3. #223

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacardi1 View Post
    Gee - sorry if your "schedule" doesn't allow for your spawn to be woken up, bathed, fed, & ready for the bus on time. That doesn't mean the rest of us have to be happy about it. Or happy about the fact that because you're not organized, the rest of us have to put our lives on "hold". So very, very sorry to have hurt your wittle feelings.

    My feelings aren't hurt by people's opinions on the matter. Everyone's free to their opinion. Your name calling is what's hurtful. There was no need for that whatsoever. No one else here is doing that.


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  4. #224
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    Back on course...

    I rode the bus up until my junior year of HS. When I was living in North Dakota, my sister and I (from kindergarten to the ages of 9 and 11) walked to school 2 miles. A bus passed by our house every day, and when the weather was poor, we'd take it instead. Our mother did not once drive us to the end of the drive, even in several feet of snow. We'd often walk to school in blizzard conditions. Every child for herself. To be fair, we did live on an Air Force base, so worries of being abducted weren't quite as prevalent.

    When we moved to Louisiana, I had a three mile trek to school. Never once rode the bus; and if I wanted to, I still had to walk four blocks to get to it... which wasn't any better than making the walk to school.

    It wasn't until I moved to Arkansas that I ran into the "stop at every drive" lifestyle. Even in suburban areas, which is where we lived, they'd stop at Every. Single. House. As the person ON the bus, this drove me batty. Bus driver stopped at my neighbor's house and would have a mild pulmonary if I wanted to get off there and walk one house over instead of letting him drop me off at my mailbox. Since I'd never experienced this before, it was weird and exasperating.

    Anyway, around here the moms will only drive the kids to the end of the road if it's raining or cold. Even in rural areas the kids walk the majority of the time. I live out in the boonies, and the neighbor kids walk to their stop. It's kind of a neighborhood watch type deal... if I'm out at the barn, I can usually see the kids and always hear the bus (and other cars). None of the other houses have that vantage point. But seeing as the neighbor's bully dogs sit with the kids at the stop, I think someone looking to snatch a kid would have second thoughts. They're super sweet, but mean business when strangers come around.



  5. #225
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    "Johnny" needs to have a "mom" who has all his ducks in a row EVERY DAY (oh, the humanity!). He's been awakened at an appropiate time, has bathed, has had some sort of breakfast, & is ready to meet the bus when it arrives.
    Bwhahahahahahahaha! You don't have kids, do you?


    I'm not saying that there aren't entitled parents out there (there are), but it is not as easy as it sounds to get a child of any age out the door.

    Probably easier to get a drunken and belligerant octopus out the door.

    Seriously - though there are things that you can do to make it easier, that parents do learn after a few years in the irons - it *is* Rocket Science.


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  6. #226
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacardi1 View Post
    Are you really that much of an idiot?? How sad for you.

    "Johnny" needs to have a "mom" who has all his ducks in a row EVERY DAY (oh, the humanity!). He's been awakened at an appropiate time, has bathed, has had some sort of breakfast, & is ready to meet the bus when it arrives.

    Wow. Rocket science.
    Quote Originally Posted by OneGrayPony View Post
    Bwhahahahahahahaha! You don't have kids, do you?


    I'm not saying that there aren't entitled parents out there (there are), but it is not as easy as it sounds to get a child of any age out the door.

    Probably easier to get a drunken and belligerant octopus out the door.

    Seriously - though there are things that you can do to make it easier, that parents do learn after a few years in the irons - it *is* Rocket Science.
    No kidding!!

    Honestly, people, get a grip. Sure, it's annoying to get caught behind a school bus. But I doubt that EVERY day you are getting stuck behind the same bus, waiting for the same kid who is not prepared. (Mostly because bus schedules never run that precisely.)

    So, on one bus run there are 30 some kids, most of whom are ready for the bus. And at least one kid every day that is not. Because, well, they are kids, and the parents are human. Getting kids ready for the bus is no easy task, especially if the bus pulls up five minutes early, which happens...or when someone oversleeps, loses their lunchbox, lets the dog out by accident, has to go to the bathroom (again)...etc.

    Now, if the mom got the kids all ready EVERY day (having all her ducks in a row, as you say), wouldn't that make her a helicopter parent? And we'd complain about her on the next thread because she pampered her widdle popkin all through school and now he can't get himself ready?

    If you're running late to work every day because of unprepared school kids, sounds like you need to leave the house earlier. Better yet, leave an hour early and avoid the buses altogether.


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  7. #227
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    Laugh. I personally am not running late for work. I was raised to not make people wait for me. Ya know, that thing called common courtesy.

    And no, I do not get caught behind the same bus everyday. I actually almost never get caught behind a bus because I commute earlier than most buses pick up. About once per month I have to go a different way for a meeting and on that day (again, I am not running late at all, even with the bus delays) there is a bus that stops at the end of every driveway and waits....minutes... at almost every driveway along this stretch of road.

    Now maybe I just hit the one day, every time I go that way, that the kids on this route are running late and then walk slower than slow down to the bus. Sure that is an option.

    I did ask an old friend who is a bus driver (in a different district than this) and she said now days they have to wait. It is not like it used to be that if the kid was not there the kid was left and had to find a different way to school. If they have not received a call from the parent saying Johnny is not coming to school today they have to sit there and wait. Then they call into the bus garage, bus garage calls house to be told that Johnny is coming out, bus garage calls back to bus to tell them Johnny is coming out....all while traffic is at a standstill because the bus has its flashing lights on.

    Sorry that getting a kid out the door in the morning is hard work. That does not remove the fact that it is rude to expect the world to wait for you.

    ETA so there is no confusion - I do understand the need to wait for school buses and I think it is a very good safety measure. Normal bus delays are a part of life. My complaint is about how it has turned into an extreme delay because the buses are now required to wait until the kid comes out, no matter how long that wait is.
    Last edited by trubandloki; Apr. 17, 2013 at 08:06 AM.


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  8. #228
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    I live way out in the countryside (subdivisions that used to be farm land), and there are three separate bus runs for each school group. Then there's the special needs bus, and the senior center bus. Trust me when I say that if the kids aren't in the group waiting, they get left behind. And there are many parents that go 20 miles round trip to take the kid to school, and it's every day. Some might be because the kid was kicked off the bus, or they just don't want them to have to take a long bus ride. If the kid isn't at the bus stop, but the driver sees them running they'll wait a little bit, but no phone calls here. And I have learned that there are certain windows of opportunity to leave, and going a few minutes earlier or later means I have to wait for them to stop at the two railroad tracks on the way. I have very carefully timed everything to avoid the line up for the track full stops. However, I do know that the stops at the tracks are important, and I only get irritated that I screwed up my timing, not that they stop there.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


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  9. #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    Laugh. I personally am not running late for work. I was raised to not make people wait for me. Ya know, that thing called common courtesy.

    And no, I do not get caught behind the same bus everyday. I actually almost never get caught behind a bus because I commute earlier than most buses pick up. About once per month I have to go a different way for a meeting and on that day (again, I am not running late at all, even with the bus delays) there is a bus that stops at the end of every driveway and waits....minutes... at almost every driveway along this stretch of road.

    Now maybe I just hit the one day, every time I go that way, that the kids on this route are running late and then walk slower than slow down to the bus. Sure that is an option.

    I did ask an old friend who is a bus driver (in a different district than this) and she said now days they have to wait. It is not like it used to be that if the kid was not there the kid was left and had to find a different way to school. If they have not received a call from the parent saying Johnny is not coming to school today they have to sit there and wait. Then they call into the bus garage, bus garage calls house to be told that Johnny is coming out, bus garage calls back to bus to tell them Johnny is coming out....all while traffic is at a standstill because the bus has its flashing lights on.

    Sorry that getting a kid out the door in the morning is hard work. That does not remove the fact that it is rude to expect the world to wait for you.

    ETA so there is no confusion - I do understand the need to wait for school buses and I think it is a very good safety measure. Normal bus delays are a part of life. My complaint is about how it has turned into an extreme delay because the buses are now required to wait until the kid comes out, no matter how long that wait is.
    I guess I am just getting too old for Off Topic Day.

    This is just such a perfect example of a 1st World Problem.

    Most likely 99% of the parents getting their kids on school buses also agree that it is rude to make people wait. And most of them are probably working hard to ensure that their kids don't make the bus or traffic have to wait for them. But probably at least one day a month, things turn to sh!t in the morning, and it happens. Multiply that by 30 kids and that means the bus is waiting for someone every day.

    Unfortunately, sure, there are commuters in their cars by themselves, listening to Sirius radio, that have to wait for kids to get on the bus to go to be educated - a right that so many kids around the world don't even have, let alone a bus that actually picks them up.

    So...sorry commuters.

    I did my best when my kids were in school, and I still do my best to make them good citizens even though we don't use the bus anymore. Sure, there are parents out there that don't care; but we knew that already anyway.

    The fact that this is an issue ("slow walkers to the bus" or "parents who *drive* their kids to the bus") is sort of embarrassing. If this is the biggest of your pet peeves, you are a pretty lucky person.


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  10. #230
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    Gee, sorry, it is a thread about school bus issues. I guess we should have just not had it at all. If first world problems should not be allowed to be discussed then this whole forum should go away. Because clearly most of our horses are first world thing too.


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  11. #231
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    Gee, sorry, it is a thread about school bus issues. I guess we should have just not had it at all. If first world problems should not be allowed to be discussed then this whole forum should go away. Because clearly most of our horses are first world thing too.
    I get the idea of venting about something. It's the 11 pages of people calling parents "lazy idiots" and their children "spawn" that is tiresome. I worked for many years. Getting stuck behind a school bus stinks even when it runs on time. But I never gave much thought about the "lazy parents" or their "entitled spawn" to imagine going about it for more than a few seconds. Mostly it made me think about how to get myself out of the house earlier to miss the bus traffic, but being human, I was late sometimes, even before I had kids.


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  12. #232
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    Sorry that getting a kid out the door in the morning is hard work. That does not remove the fact that it is rude to expect the world to wait for you.
    Okay, let me explain this a different way, since clearly you're not getting it.

    I, too, was taught not to keep people waiting. When left to my own devices I am typically 15-30 minutes early. I am this way when I have a horse, a dog, a husband, a cat...insert anything here BUT a child.

    Why is this?

    Because children introduce an element of unpredictability that you can't imagine if you don't have them.

    Let me explain, via a narrative. This is not my child, but very much describes scenarios that I have encountered.

    Parent wakes up in the morning at 5 (for an 8:30 bus delivery time). This ought to be perfectly adequate for getting a rugrat or two out the door. Clothes have been set out the night before. Parent has asked about homework, lunches have been packed, etc. All of the preparation that one would THINK would be adequate.

    Parent wakes up, wake child #1 up, and go downstairs to take a dog or two out. Return to upstairs to find that child #1 has not gotten into the shower, but instead has returned to bed. Parent shovels child #1 back into the shower (with some mild under the breath cursing) only to hear a funny sound downstairs. This might be the dog getting up onto the counter because teenage child has returned home at 10 pm and left the pizza box on the counter. Parent runs downstairs to fix that, only to come back upstairs to find that child #1, who is a very heavy sleeper and slow to wake, is sitting on the toilet with the shower running (why do they do this? This makes me insane). Parent yells for child #1 to get in the shower right this instant, and wakes child #2, who has wet the bed (because after all, though he is old enough, often they have periodic episodes until the age of 10 or 12). Bed stripping commences, and child #1 is still in (or not in) the shower. Child #2 starts complaining about stripping the bed, and how he can't get the corners off the bed sheets and so Parent has to help him as he's dragging the wet sheets down the stairs and oh, can you try to keep them off the carpet please? Then Child #1 yells that he has no towel. Why he has no towel is beyond me since each child HAS a towel that they are to bring with them into the bathroom and this is NOT unexpected, because it's the routine that they have every day (set up to keep them from fighting because otherwise they would steal each others towels) - this one does happen to me often. Child #1 uses the hand towel and sprints to the room, leaving wet footprints all over the floor. Child #2 slips in the wet footprints on his way to the shower and bangs his head. Inspection commences to see if bleeding is happening (no) and child #2 is ushered into the shower. Child #3 is awoken.

    Child #2 gets out of shower and dresses while Child #3 heads to the shower. Child #1 comes down the stairs saying something akin to "crap crap crap crap crap" and bolts out the door to the car in his boxers and bare feet. Apparently, things needed to be signed that have been left in the car, and even though parent asked four times, only to be told four times that there was nothing. Child #1 and Husband leave for the 7:30 school bus. Child #2 comes downstairs in pants that are not the ones that were set out for him and for some odd reason only the front of his hair is wet and he still very much smells of urine. Child #3 still in shower, singing. Child #2 insisting that he DID shower and OMGYOUARESOMEANMOM is sent back upstairs to take an actual shower after his brother or sister gets out of the shower.

    Child #3 is still in the shower, singing.

    Funny noise happens again downstairs and it is realized that the dog got into the garbage because Child #2 left the pantry doors open and the dog can and does know how to operate the step can. Funny noise is the dog puking on the floor, backpack, and ottoman. Parent begins cleaning up dog puke.

    Child #3 is still in the shower, singing.

    Parent yells for Child #3 to get out of the shower, and for Child #2 to at least rinse off his body for heavens sakes. Child #3 cannot hear over the delightful noise of the water and the singing and Child #2 is banging on the door half-heartedly and whining that he DID in fact take a shower and MOM doesn't believe ANYTHING that he says.

    At some point Child #2 is taken to the bus stop while Child #3 is still at home (because there are 3 different bus times for the three schools that they are in). The bus is late. Parent waits with child #2, holding their breath as to what they will find when they get home. Child #2 is put on the bus, and Parent rushes back to the house to finish Child #3.

    Child #3 is still naked and wailing that they don't like the clothing options that were set out last night (even though they were FINE last night) and that no one ever wears these things anymore. Parent grits teeth and makes Child dress in them anyway. Parent finds one shoe. Where is the other shoe? It was there last night. Parent searches room for shoe, under bed, in closets, Child halfheartedly looks for shoe because Child did not WANT to wear those shoes anyway. Shoe is finally located in the refrigerator, which child #1 thought would be a really funny prank to play on Child #3.

    Child #3 is coaxed into the shoes, handed a breakfast bar, and ushered off to school. Potentially late. Possibly not.

    Parent feels the need to drink. Heads to work, anyway.

    You may think I'm exaggerating, but this is not THAT unusual of a morning. I LOVE my kids, but they are these bizarre creatures that do things that make zero sense at all. Like, ZERO, sense.

    And seriously - I laugh when my friends have babies and they are like OMGIGETNOSLEEPTHISISSOHARD and I try not to say things like - "ohhhhhh that's the EASY part." Yea, you get no sleep, but the child is basically contained and cannot make decisions on their own. Once they are capable of moving around and making decisions on their own it gets exponentially harder, because they do some weird stuff. Really weird.

    I don't blame you for not getting it. Seriously, most people don't. And if you try to explain it invariably someone says "OMG you had the kids, and now you're complaining about them?" and I always have to try to bite my tongue because I probably WOULDN'T have had them if someone had described it the way it truly is. Not that I don't love my children, and someday I will be like - that was so totally worth it. At least I hope so, because these gray hairs, man...I'm earning them.

    It's kind of like horses...you know, don't you get irritated when people who have never even ridden say things like "all you have to do is sit up there and let the horses do all of the work" or they don't even ride and they sit up there and criticize the way you do x, y or z?

    Now imagine instead of the several annoying people at the barn, having ALL of society do that to you constantly. While you're dealing with a horse that bites, bucks, kicks, pees in the aisle and won't get on the trailer. You'll be close, then to understanding what it's like to be a parent.

    And I haven't even addressed the emotional component to it.


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  13. #233
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    A practical solution might be for the neighborhood parents to get together and choose a rotating parent to walk WITH the kids to school. The mom/dad of the day and the kids get some exercise. The kids are safe from predators and safe while crossing roads. Heck, Mom/Dad can can walk the dog at the same time and cross another chore off of the list.

    Predators have always been around. My husband who is 56 was approached by one in a car while walking home from school. He was maybe about 7-8 years old. His Mom (who was a teacher) taught him not to talk to strangers and he ran up to the front door of the nearest house.



  14. #234
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    Oh - and bringing it back to the bus - if a child is habitually late, I am totally with you - it's annoying! If it's the same kid and parent...GAH!

    However, it is really easy to have that happen multiple times. *shaking head* It's taken me almost 18 years (eldest turns 18 in a little less than two weeks) to finally get a system together that mostly works. Because just as you think you've got it, the kid gets older and changes.

    I empathize with those who hate to get stuck behind the school buses. I hate to get stuck behind a tractor (why the heck do those always seem to be on the road at 8 am and 5 pm?) or stopped for the recycling (again...why don't they do that during the MIDDLE of the day when there are fewer people on the road?) but at the same time, I realize that the farmer has to get from field to field, and that our recycling guys are probably out there all day and it just so happens that my stretch of the road is the one they choose for the 8 am shuffle.



  15. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by alternate_universe View Post
    I still don't get the attitude. What's Johnny supposed to do? Rocket out the door with his outerwear halfway on and trip over something on his dark porch? If the kid is over 5 minutes late every day that's the bus driver's job to mention it to his superiors at the garage who can then contact the parents. You just sound cranky that some little kid isn't dressing and walking fast enough for you.
    The answer is, Yes, the bus gets to leave if kiddo is late. Doesn't make a difference why he is late**.

    It seems a very expensive and convoluted solution to instead have (paid) bus driver talk to (paid) superior who then spends his time calling the parents about a kid who can't get his stuff together, or wake up 5 minutes earlier.

    ** And here's the cure, folks: My single working mom had the "get kids dressed, fed, packed for the day and in the car by 8 am or the whole day blows up" problem. My little sister-- maybe 6-7-- lollygagged. Mom "used her words," multiple times. Finally? Picks up my sister's stuff, her clothes and her buck naked and puts them all in the car. Sissy could dress on the way. Never happened again.
    The armchair saddler
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  16. #236
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    LOL mvp - I love it

    Yea - I don't mind the bus leaving if the kiddo is late - that sounds like a district making poor decisions...I just resented the "it's not rocket science" part...because it's different every morning and as a parent, just as I thought I'd gotten a handle on one part, a new and exciting change would happen. Kids really are amazing.

    Again - love my kids - don't expect the world to revolve around them - but man...are they difficult!



  17. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneGrayPony View Post
    Okay, let me explain this a different way, since clearly you're not getting it.

    <snip>

    Child #3 is still in the shower, singing.

    Parent yells for Child #3 to get out of the shower, and for Child #2 to at least rinse off his body for heavens sakes. Child #3 cannot hear over the delightful noise of the water and the singing and Child #2 is banging on the door half-heartedly and whining that he DID in fact take a shower and MOM doesn't believe ANYTHING that he says.

    <snip>
    I realize that this is just an anecdote however ... I don't understand why a parent in this situation would be trying to shower 3 kids as part of a morning routine. Wouldn't it make sense to have them bathe before bedtime? I'm not a parent so I don't know but it sounds like someone making a difficult situation even harder for themselves.

    mvp:

    My sister did something similar with my neice who was constantly late and dragging her feet. I don't think it was quite as drastic as been thrown into the car naked, but I did think it involved no shoes or jacket during a VT Winter. Worked like a charm.
    -Debbie / NH

    My Blog: http://deborahsulli.blogspot.com/


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  18. #238
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    I realize that this is just an anecdote however ... I don't understand why a parent in this situation would be trying to shower 3 kids as part of a morning routine. Wouldn't it make sense to have them bathe before bedtime? I'm not a parent so I don't know but it sounds like someone making a difficult situation even harder for themselves.
    When they wet the bed or are stinky smelly teenagers, a nighttime bath doesn't work... sorry

    I don't think it was quite as drastic as been thrown into the car naked, but I did think it involved no shoes or jacket during a VT Winter. Worked like a charm.
    Incidentally - this? This will get you a friendly visit by CPS. I sent a kid to bed without dinner (until he finished his homework, I believe) and got a lovely talking to by quite a few people and a call from the school about "withholding food". *sigh*
    Last edited by OneGrayPony; Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:27 PM. Reason: detail.


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  19. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneGrayPony View Post
    LOL mvp - I love it

    Yea - I don't mind the bus leaving if the kiddo is late - that sounds like a district making poor decisions...I just resented the "it's not rocket science" part...because it's different every morning and as a parent, just as I thought I'd gotten a handle on one part, a new and exciting change would happen. Kids really are amazing.

    Again - love my kids - don't expect the world to revolve around them - but man...are they difficult!
    As I learned from my momma: Having the kid miss the ride to what amounted to school/day care so that she would work really did make a day blow up. Not.An.Option.

    We kids, of course, didn't see it that way, much like the kids in your long illustrative story. After all, who cares if you go to school on any given day?

    The trick, of course, is to have the kids put some "skin in the game" with respect to getting out the door on time. There are so many missed training opportunities for the kids. Had the been allowed to bask in the consequences of their poor choices, they'd make a better decision next time.

    So many of the "The rest of you can't imagine who hard parenting is" arguments amount to long, detailed stories in which the parent is the harried, worn-down victim of kids. But almost everyone could write the same description of their day.... lots of people with demands, PITA constraints and the like. If you read about a day in the life of job, you'd be bored to tears and begin to wonder why I didn't change things up instead of whining about it.

    Children are harder to train than domesticated animals, but ignore those training opportunities at your peril!
    The armchair saddler
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  20. #240
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    So many of the "The rest of you can't imagine who hard parenting is" arguments amount to long, detailed stories in which the parent is the harried, worn-down victim of kids.
    yeah, and who cares anyway? no one forced you to have them, it was your free choice. Up to you to make sure your choice doesn't negatively impact anyone else's life.


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